And Then You Fall (Crested Butte Series) (24 page)

“Hi.”

“I’m always bumpin’ into you.”

“I’m never looking where I’m going.”

Ben touched the side of her face. “It’s so good to see you.” Someone else bumped into Liv and he realized they were standing in the doorway.

“Come with me,” he said. “Let’s get out of the way.”

“I should probably—”

“Please Liv, come with me,” he said again, in that stern voice he used that made her melt a little.

She took her helmet and gloves off and followed him. He motioned for her to take a seat next to the fireplace. There was only a sofa open, she sat down near the end and he sat right next to her.

“Good to see you’re back out on the slopes.”

“It’s great to be back. It feels so good to ski again. I was just telling Renie, I hadn’t thought about whether I’d be able to ski. Not until Christmas morning, when she suggested we go.”

“Did you have a nice Christmas?”

Jesus, she thought, were they making small talk? “Yes, it was nice. How about you?”

“It wasn’t the best ever, but Christmas is always fun with the boys.”

“So they were with you then?”

“After about mid-morning. They’re used to waking up with their mom then coming to my place a couple hours later.”

What were they going to talk about next, oh God, she couldn’t do this. It was so awkward between them.

“How long are you in town for?”

“Quite a while actually. Renie reserved a room for us through the first.”

Ben reached out and touched her face again. Her eyes closed and she leaned her cheek into his fingers. It felt so good, she hadn’t meant to do it, her body just reacted to him instinctively.

“Is there anyone else with you?”

“What? Um, no. Just Renie and me. Why?”

“I thought maybe you brought a new boyfriend along with you.”

“Nope, no new boyfriend. What about you?” Oh no, what made her ask him that? If he had someone in his life, she absolutely did not want to know.

“Nope, no new boyfriends for me either.”

“Very funny.”

“Ask.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Why not?”

“Ben, stop it,” she moved so her face was further away from his fingers.

Ben reached out, cupped her neck with his hand and pulled her closer to him. “There’s nobody.
Nobody.
Just you.” His eyes were dark, dangerous, angry when his lips covered hers. His kiss was just as angry, just as dangerous.

Her cry was stifled by his mouth on hers.

He licked her lips with his tongue, bit her bottom lip and crushed his mouth back into hers for more. There was nothing like kissing her. Nothing.

Whoever else was sitting near them, the rest of the people in the restaurant, all disappeared. He couldn’t hear anything other than her soft, sweet murmurs.

Liv pulled back from him. “Your boys,” she said, looking around behind her.

His boys. He’d forgotten about his boys. Not that he minded them seeing him with Liv, but she was right, he was out of his head with wanting her. That wouldn’t be good for his boys to experience today.

Ben stared into her eyes. Nothing was any different. All the hurt, longing, anger, pain—none of it mattered. He loved every single thing about this woman, the good, the bad, all of it.

Renie returned with Ben’s boys in tow. “They’re ready to go back out. Do you want me to take them? I’m on skis, looks like they’re on boards, but they should be able to keep up.” Renie turned and smiled at the boys who were just about to protest her dig.

“I can head out too,” Liv said. “Ben, how about you? You ready to get back out on the hill?”

No, he wasn’t. He wasn’t ready to do anything but get Liv alone and out of her clothes. But for now, he’d get back on the hill anyway.

The five of them spent the afternoon together. Liv and Renie skied, Ben and the boys snowboarded. When the announcement came over that the lifts would be closing in fifteen minutes, Renie offered to take Jake and Luke up one more time if Ben and Liv wanted to relax for a few minutes.

“That was the best afternoon I’ve had in a very long time,” Ben said. “I’m sure my boys would agree.”

“Me too.” Liv didn’t remember ever feeling so relaxed . . . and happy. She took off her helmet and gloves and started to unfasten her boots.

“Here, let me help you with that,” Ben offered. He knelt down and ran his hand up the inside of her leg.

“Uh, my boots are in the other direction mister,” Liv teased.

Ben leaned forward so his mouth was next to her ear. “I cannot wait to be alone with you Liv. Am I wrong about this? Please tell me you want this as much as I do.”

“I do Ben, but I think we should talk first.” She almost couldn’t believe she said it. He was the one who always wanted to talk about everything, not her.

“Wow, you want to talk. I can’t tell you how much that turns me on baby.” He nipped at her neck playfully.

“I know. Who am I?”

“Will you and Renie have dinner with us tonight?”

“I’ll have to ask her, but I’m sure we’d love to.”

“She’s good with my boys. They love her. You’ll be a distant second I’m afraid. They already look smitten.”

“I will not begrudge my daughter your boys’ affection. I’m generous that way.”

There were so many ways she was generous. She had no idea. He hadn’t been exaggerating, today was one of the best he’d had in as long as he could remember. In fact, the last time he remembered feeling this way was the day they drove back from Woodward, Oklahoma, before her accident.

This was something new for them, Liv would be spending time with his boys. He had no idea what to expect. She interacted with them on the hill, but they were so taken with Renie and getting her attention, they didn’t pay much attention to their father’s girlfriend.

Renie came in with the boys.

“No, I want pizza,” he heard Luke say. Luke always wanted pizza, that didn’t surprise him.

“I’m sick of pizza,” said Jake, clearly trying to look more worldly, or more mature. “We should go to Uncle Matt’s restaurant.”

“What’s there?” asked Renie.

“Sushi.”

“Oh, a man after my heart. I love sushi.”

Ben watched as her response took his son completely over the top. Renie Fairchild may very well be Jake Rice’s first love. This would make family get-togethers interesting.

He shook his head, he couldn’t believe that was where his thoughts went. It was what he wanted, and he intended to get it. He wanted forever with Liv, it was what he’d always wanted. This time he wouldn’t let go of it.

“Sushi then?” Ben asked Liv.

“You know it’s good by me.”

“Luke, you like sushi. Plus Uncle Matt will pretty much make you anything you want.”

“Pizza? Will he make me pizza? ’Cause that’s what I want Dad.”

Ben ruffled Luke’s hair. This was what happiness felt like. It was a very good feeling.

When they walked into LoBar, Matt was standing near the end of the bar. When he spotted Liv, Ben was afraid his brother might have strained his neck, his head spun around so quickly. Matt walked toward them.

“Well hello. This is? Remind me your name again.”

Ben almost choked. As if Matt didn’t remember what her name was, what a crock.

“Liv . . . Olivia. And I don’t believe you’ve met my daughter. Renie, this is Matt, Ben’s brother.”

Renie stepped up to shake his hand. “Pleasure,” she said.

“A table tonight Ben? Something away from the noise of the sushi bar?”

“That sounds great,” answered Ben, not bothering to look in Matt’s direction. His eyes were focused on Liv’s smile, and he intended to keep them there.

Matt led them to a table near the back, hidden away from the rest of the place. “You’ll get fewer interruptions back here,” he said as he placed menus in front of Liv and Renie.

“Daddy said you’d make me pizza,” said Luke.

“You want pizza, you’ll get pizza . . . how about squid pizza, or octopus, maybe tuna pizza, how’s that sound?” Luke started giggling and fell sideways, right into Liv. She reached around and hugged him closer to him, laughing with him. Suddenly Luke realized where he was and looked up at her. And there it was, Ben knew that look, Luke had just fallen in love with Liv too.

Luke monopolized as much of the conversation with Liv as he could, for the rest of the night. It was okay with Ben, he enjoyed sitting back and listening to the two of them. Luke was a huge rodeo fan, and Liv told him about going to the finals only a few weeks ago. She talked about the cowboys and the rodeo clowns and the barrel racers.

“Do you really race around barrels?” Luke asked her.

“I do, but I’ll tell you a little secret, if you promise not to let anyone else know, unless they’re a real rodeo insider.”

Luke nodded his head in agreement.

“We call it chasing the cans,” Liv whispered in his ear.

“O-o-h . . . cool,” said Luke, as though he’d just learned the secret of the universe.

Ben reached his arm around her and pulled her back closer to him. He leaned down so his mouth was close to her ear. “I love you so much Olivia Fairchild.”

She turned to him, and smiled before she brushed her lips across his. A shudder of pleasure ran through his body.

Chapter 21

After dinner they walked down Elk Avenue. The boys wanted frozen yogurt and Renie made fun of them for wanting something cold when they were already freezing.

“She’s very playful,” Liv commented to Ben as they walked behind them. “It’s too bad she never had any brothers or sisters.”

“I think Renie would say her childhood was as close to perfect as one could be.”

“I doubt that,” laughed Liv. “No father in her life, no siblings. There are definitely times I regret some of my choices and what they meant for her.”

“Your daughter is one of the
most gracious, seemingly well-adjusted people I’ve ever had the pleasure to get to know. You did a great job as her mother Liv.”

“Thank you. I appreciate you saying so.”

“You have no idea. It always takes me a while to remember.”

“What do you mean?”

“You sincerely have no idea how great you are.”

“Oh come on. I’m a sure thing cowboy, you don’t have to pile on the charm.”

Ben thought he might lose it right there on the sidewalk in the middle of his hometown. Had she really just said that? Yesterday he would’ve predicted he’d never see her again. Tonight it was as though no time had passed at all since they were together happily. The hard times forgotten for now, for tonight. Unless that was what she wanted to talk about. He almost dreaded it. He didn’t want to talk about anything, he just wanted to hold her as close as he could get her. Skin on skin.

“Will you stay at the house tonight?” he asked.

“I don’t think you want to stay in the hotel room with Renie and me, do you?”

“Uh, no,” he laughed.

“Well then, I guess I better stay at your house.” She said if softly, demurely, seductively. Very, very soon Ben was going to have a difficult time walking.

“I’m thinking horror movie marathon,” he heard Renie say to the boys.

“Yeah,” said Jake.

“Nooo,” said Luke. “Liv, I don’t want to have a horror movie marathon. Can we watch somethin’ else, just you and me?”

Oh no, Luke wasn’t horning in on his time with Liv tonight. No way. There’d be plenty of time later for movie marathons with his boys. Tonight she was all his.

“Well,” said Renie, “maybe tonight we should watch what Luke wants to watch, and tomorrow night it’ll be Jake’s turn to pick. Does that sound fair?”

“Boys, a gentleman would let the lady choose.”

Luke and Jake looked at him. “Um, okay. Renie, you can pick, just don’t pick horror,” said Luke.

“I want to watch
Caddyshack,”
she said.

“
Caddyshack?
What’s that?” asked both his boys.

“You haven’t seen
Caddyshack
? You’re kidding. It is just the funniest movie ever. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen
Airplane
either.” Both boys looked at her like she had three heads.

“Oh this is going to be a very fun week. Renie’s ride through the funniest movies ever made, before you both were born. We’re going to have a blast.”

Both boys were all in. “Are you gonna stay at my dad’s house?” asked Jake.

Renie looked at her mom, who nodded yes.

“Yay!” said Luke, jumping up and down.

“Do you remember how to get there?” asked Ben.

“I can probably find it,” answered Liv. “Are you sure about this?”

“Never more sure of anything,” he answered. “Tell you what, we’ll follow you to your hotel. You can check out, we’ll help load your stuff into your car and then you can follow us to the ranch.”

“Wait. Check out? I don’t know about that.”

“Liv, please,” he whispered. “Come and stay with me. Please. There’s plenty of room.”

“I have to talk to Renie about it first, make sure she’s okay with it.” Although, she hadn’t seen any sign of protest from her daughter about staying there tonight.

“It’s okay with me Mom, if it’s what you want to do.”

“Please,” Ben said again. “We are not letting go of this, not ever again. I’m not, and you’re not.”

***

It was dark, so Renie wouldn’t be able to appreciate the ranch for what it was until tomorrow. The boys fought over who got to carry the bags inside, and once they did, they had no idea where to put them.

“Where are you sleeping?” Jake asked Renie.

“I don’t know, I think maybe we should ask your dad. This is a very nice house, by the way.”

“My mom used to live here too, but now she lives in a different house, and she has a different husband,” added Luke.

He was wealth of uncomfortable information, thought Ben. “Okay pard’ner, let’s get Renie settled in the guest room upstairs and we’ll let Liv stay in the one downstairs.”

“Liv isn’t gonna sleep in your room Daddy?”

Luke again. Where did his kid get this stuff? “We’ll see about that later. Now how about that movie? If you don’t start watching it in . . . let’s see, thirty seconds, you won’t be able to watch it tonight because it’ll end past your bedtime. Follow me Renie, I’ll show you where you guys can set up your movie marathon.”

Liv stood in the family room, looking out the windows she thought she’d never see again. She still couldn’t believe she was here, with Ben. And Renie was with her. And she’d spent the day and evening with his boys. If anyone had told her last week that this would be happening she would’ve bet a million dollars they were wrong. Yet here she was.

“Come on,” Ben said, taking her hand. “They’re settled in and Renie promised she’d make sure she’d find whatever they needed on her own.”

They went upstairs to his bedroom and Ben closed the door behind her. And then somehow, suddenly she was in his arms. She pressed her face into him, so she could feel his heart beating and hear his ragged breathing. The warmth of his body seeped through the clothes she longed to rip off him.

“You’re shaking,” he whispered. “It’s okay Liv, this is where you’re meant to be. Kiss me Liv, give it all to me, every bit of you.”

Her eyes drooped and her breathing became labored, she was so close to turning herself over to him in that way he loved.

“Ben, we have to talk.”

“No Liv, we don’t. Not now. Now I want you naked, under me. Then later, over me. And then all around me. I love you so damn much I can’t think about anything else.”

“But—”

“Liv, I’ll get down on my hands and knees and beg if I have to. Please, just take off your clothes. Please, I can’t stand it another second.”

“Okay,” she said, as if the battle was lost and she had no fight left in her. “But you first.”

Ben’s clothes were off as fast as he could tear them away from his body and he was helping Liv get rid of hers.

“Baby, need you, God, I need you so much.”

“Ben . . .” There it was, the way she said his name, as if he hadn’t been on fire already. “Ben, stop.”

Something in the way she said it must’ve resonated with him, because he stopped and looked at her.

“Tell me,” he said, his breathing lumbered.

“I’m not on birth control anymore.”

“Liv, I—” What? What was he going to say? That he didn’t care? They were going to spend the rest of their lives together and if she had his baby it would make him the happiest man on earth? She’d run out of the house naked just to get away from him if he said any of that.

“Don’t worry sweet girl,” he said instead, kissing down her neck. “I’ll take care of you, you know that.” His mouth worked its way lower, across her breasts, down to her stomach. He put his arms around her and pulled her close, laying his cheek against her, imagining what it would be like to know his child was inside of her.

He stood and lifted her on to the bed. “I need to feel you baby, all of you.” He rolled so he was on his back and she was on top of him. “Just be still, just like this, remind me what this feels like, your skin on mine.

“Look at me.” He put his hands on each side of her face, so he could look into her eyes and started to softly sing to her.
Having had your joy, having had your desire, and then, baby, you fall.

“I dreamt of this,” she said. “Or maybe fantasized about it would be a better way to put it.”

“Oh yeah? When?”

“Only all the time.”

“Tell me.”

“Better to show you.” Liv reached over and opened the drawer on the night stand. Ben held up his hand and showed her he already had what she was looking for.

“Put it on for me,” he said.

Liv’s cheeks turned pink, but she took the small package from his hand.

“We could go without, if you wanted to,” he ventured.

“Ben—I don’t . . .”

Why had he opened his mouth? Now wasn’t the time to have this conversation. “I’m sorry. Forget I said that. Keep doin’ what you were doin’ baby. Don’t stop.”

She rolled it on, then straddled him until he was buried deep inside her. She leaned back, but her hands drifted to hold on to his chest. Ben held her still, then started to move beneath her. He leaned up, moving her so he could get closer, feel more of her against him as he drove himself into her. Her hands dug into the skin on his back as his moved down hers, to cup her bottom and bring them closer.

“Liv, can’t wait. Waited so long for this. Oh baby, God, I love you.”

His mouth moved over her lips, his teeth scraped hers and he bit her swollen bottom lip.

He rolled her over so she was beneath him, the way he saw her in his fantasies, writhing under him. “Here,” he said, “right here Liv.” He drove into her, relentlessly, pushing her to go where they both needed to go.

Liv put her face against his sweaty neck and licked up to beneath his ear. She breathed in deeply, as though she was going to say something. Ben stilled, waiting. But nothing. Her lips kissed from his ear, over his jaw until her mouth found his. She kissed him hard, putting her arms around his shoulders to hold herself closer.

“Tell me,” he said, easing her back down on to the pillow.

“Ben.”

“Don’t just say my name. Tell me. You know what I want to hear. Just tell me.”

She closed her eyes and turned her head on the pillow, looking away from him. Here he went again, pushing her harder than she was ready for. What was wrong with him? She was back in his arms, they were joined together, two as one, but he still pushed her.

“Liv, open your eyes and look at me.” He waited until she did. “I’m sorry, I won’t push. I need you so much baby, but I’ll only take what you’ll give. I won’t keep asking for more.”

She nodded and reached up again to put her lips on his. “Ben . . . will you catch me if I fall?”

“You know I will baby. You know I’ll catch you.”

He eased off of her and went into the other room to get rid of the condom. He looked in the mirror and shook his head. Why was he always so impatient with her? What was it he had to know right now? That she loved him? He knew she did. He could feel it. Something was stopping her from saying the words, but he knew the feelings were there. He wondered what she wanted to talk about, and if it had anything to do with the insecurity he was feeling.

Ben got back in bed and pulled her closer to him, so her back was to his front.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“So much. Maybe we should wait until tomorrow.”

God, she was going to kill him. He wanted everything, her body, her love, and now her thoughts. This woman made him crazy with desire to get inside her in every way possible. He could never be close enough to her and yet, the harder he tried to hold her close, the more she inched away.

“Okay, I’ll talk now then.” He felt her body tense up just slightly. “I was so afraid I’d lost you forever. I never would’ve allowed myself to think about you being here, like you are right now. That it could ever happen again.”

“I know. I felt the same way.”

“I think the universe is trying to tell us something. You know we keep coming back to each other. Maybe we should try harder to stay together.”

“It isn’t going to be easy to do Ben.”

“Why not?”

“I’m going to race again. I’m going to give it all I’ve got. It’s going to take so much hard work and training. And travel.”

“Okay, we can work with that, as long as we’re both committed.”

“And what about you? You’re going to keep touring.”

“Am I? Have you been on Facebook darlin’? You watchin’ my tour schedule?”

“I’m a stalker, remember?”

“We need to get you setup with your own fan page, so I can watch you when you’re not lookin’. See you in those tight jeans and cowgirl shirts. The way your body bends and moves when you’re racin’. Jesus that gets me hot.” What had it been? Five minutes? And he wanted her all over again. He planned to wear her out tonight. She might not have enough strength left to ski tomorrow.

Oh, now there was a good idea. Renie and the boys could go, while he and Liv stayed here at the house. They were all kinds of places he imagined her naked, beneath him.