And Playing the Role of Herself... (17 page)

Her eyes widened in surprise when I pushed her over and reversed our positions, but she murmured her approval when I ran my tongue down her neck to her breasts, spending several minutes in languid exploration before continuing down her body, remembering areas where she was most responsive and discovering new ones that brought a intoxicating mixture of moans and tiny gasps.
When I eventually touched my tongue to her wetness, she hissed and grabbed the back of my head, guiding and encouraging as she had done before, and when she came against me this time, I needed no reassurance that it had been good.
I circled her waist with my arms and lay my head on her stomach, listening as her breathing and heart rate slowed, marveling at the feel of her, the heat of her skin and her taste on my lips. She ran her fingers absently through my hair for a few minutes, and then tugged gently.
"Come up here, you."
I placed a wet, openmouthed kiss between her legs that made her twitch, and inched up her body, placing more kisses as I went. After one final kiss on her smiling mouth, I settled in beside her, propping my head up on my hand and watching her watch me.
She sighed contentedly and rolled on her side to face me. "I thought you said you were new at this," she said, stroking my cheek.
I smiled slightly and kissed her fingers. "I'm a fast learner with the proper motivation. And you," I kissed her fingers again and caught one between my teeth, biting gently before releasing it. "You are some kind of motivation."
"Lucky me." She leaned in for a lingering kiss and then pulled back. She hesitated, and then asked quietly, "Stay?"
I smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'd like that."
"Good," she drawled, tracing random circles on the skin of my shoulder with a finger. A slight push sent me sprawling onto my back and she contemplated my naked form with lazy, half-lidded intent. "Because I'm not even close to being done with you."
I grinned.
Hot. Damn.
##
Sometime before dawn an insistently full bladder woke me, and after carefully extricating myself from Robyn's arms, I rose and padded to the bathroom. On my way back to bed, I reached to switch off the floor lamp - the one we'd left on, too comfortable and too spent in each other's arms to turn off - but paused, captivated by the sight on the bed before me.
She was on her stomach with her face towards me, one arm curled above her head and the other beneath her pillow. She'd kicked most of the covers off during the night, exposing leanly muscled shoulders, the long expanse of her back, one perfect globe of buttock, and one smooth, slender leg.
I stared at her in wonder.
She was amazing; delicate and strong, sharp angles and softness, the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I drew in a shaky breath, wanting her with an intensity that astounded me. Sex before had been adequate, often pleasant, and sometimes I'd even considered it very good. But never had it come even close to what I'd experienced with Robyn. Never had I felt so close to someone, and been so satisfied, but still left with this anticipation, this…craving.
Even now, exhausted and sated, just thinking of her, watching her, stirred my desire again. I longed to reach for her, to run my hands over her skin, her hair…I swallowed hard at the rush of emotion that swept through me, surprised that arousal wasn't at the forefront. Instead, it was overwhelming tenderness.
I sighed resignedly.
I was in deep, deep trouble.
When I had talked with Perry about my feelings for Robyn, I had been unsure; putting the label 'love' on it for lack of a better way to explain what I was feeling. But now I was sure. Sometime during the night, the feelings I had for Robyn had intensified into something very deep, very strong, and very frightening.
I was in love with her, no doubt about it now.
I dropped heavily into the softly upholstered wing chair next to the floor lamp and sighed again.
So. I'm in love her. In love with a famous, closeted actress who has a boyfriend who's not really her boyfriend, calls her affairs 'things' and who has never cared about any of her past lovers enough to bring them home to meet her family. You sure can pick 'em, Caid.
I sat for a long time, contemplating my new lover and the plethora of ways she could hurt me. Eventually, I turned off the light and slipped back into bed, wiggling around to get comfortable and draping my arm across Robyn's back. This would either be the best thing that ever happened to me, or a spectacular crash and burn that would fuck me up for a good, long time. But either way, I was happy now, and determined to enjoy it for as long as it lasted.

The sounds of a shower running along with quiet singing woke me the next morning, pulling me from dreams that I couldn't remember, but that left me slightly unsettled. I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes, blinking groggily at the unfamiliar, sunlit room around me. My eyes fell on a pile of clothes on the floor, and I smiled slowly, remembering the night before and just who it was singing Prince's
Kiss
, slightly off-key, in the next room.
I yawned and stretched luxuriously, humming in satisfaction at the pull from muscles long unused. With any luck, I'd have many chances to whip those muscles back in shape. I tucked an arm behind my head, smiling at the thought. The shower turned off but the singing continued and I watched Robyn exit the bathroom wearing a short, black robe - damn, that woman looked good in black - and toweling her hair dry.
"
Act
your age mama, not your shoe size maybe we could do the twirl…
"
She stopped abruptly when she caught sight of me.
"Morning," I smiled. "I can't remember the last time I was serenaded in bed."
"Uh…hi." She looked around the room, anywhere but at me, obviously uncomfortable and at a loss for words. I fought back a stab of panic. She couldn't be done with me already, could she?
Not if I could fucking help it
.
I pushed the covers off and threw my legs over the side of the bed, never losing eye contact. "Come here."
I think we were both surprised by the authority in my tone, and she blinked and dropped the towel to her shoulder, staring at me.
"Please," I added, holding out a hand to her.
She hesitated, obviously warring with herself over something, before finally draping the towel across the back of the chair and slowly approaching the bed. She stopped a few feet from me and I reached out to pull her forward the last few feet until she came to a stop standing between my legs.
I stared up into her face for a moment, looking for a hint of what we shared the night before.
Come on sweetheart
;
don't do this to me…
With careful deliberateness, I untied the belt of her robe and spread the material, drinking in the sight of her. She did nothing as I slowly ran my hands up her thighs and over her stomach, but when I nuzzled the hair at the juncture of her thighs and placed a gentle kiss on small swell just about it, I felt a tremor run through her body and a shaky sigh escape her lips.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and laid my cheek against her stomach, squeezing tightly. "Please Robyn," I whispered, "don't pull away from me. I don't think I could stand it."
She let out another shaky breath, and I felt a gentle hand on my head, stroking softly through my hair. "Oh, Caid…you scare the hell out of me, you know that don't you?"
"You scare me, too," I mumbled in response, and her hand paused briefly before resuming its stroking.
We stayed that way for a few minutes, and finally I looked up to find her gazing down at me with a tenderness that calmed my fears. She cupped my face with both hands and leaned down to kiss me. "I'm sorry Caid. I'm not used to someone staying the night…I guess I freaked out just a little. Let's start again, okay?"
She kissed me again, this kiss much more involved, and when she finally pulled away, she was on top of me in a tangle of limbs, her robe discarded somewhere on the floor, and her breasts warm and supple in my hands.
She sighed and lifted off of me slightly. "Good morning." She gave me a gentle kiss. "I had a wonderful, wonderful time last night, thank you."
"I…" I didn't know how to begin telling her what last night had meant to me, and I was fairly certain we weren't ready for declarations of love, regardless of my nocturnal realizations. I settled for a heartfelt, "me too," satisfied for the moment with the pleased smile my words elicited.
I raised my head and nibbled along the line of her chin, stroking my thumbs gently over already hardened nipples and feeling the answering surge in my body at her sharp intake of breath. "God…." She tucked in her chin, putting it out of my reach, and laid her forehead against mine. "Damn…as much as it kills me to say this, we need to stop. My flight leaves at 10:20 and I have a car coming in an hour, and I still have some things to take care of…"
I dropped my head to the pillow with a tiny noise of distress. "Son-of-a-bitch." Slowly, with supreme effort, I pulled my hands from where they cupped her breasts and laid them, palms down, on the bed. "Unfair. So unfair."
"I agree," she said with obvious regret and kissed my nose before rolling off of me and climbing out of bed. "I'm sorry, baby."
I sighed dramatically, but smiled inwardly. I could get used to that voice calling me baby in the morning. Or any other damn time she pleased. I rolled on my side and watched in disappointment as she retrieved her robe and shrugged it on, hiding all that glorious skin from my appreciative eye.
"I trust you'll make it up to me later, Ms. Ward?"
Her gaze swept my naked body, and the smile she gave me could only be described as wicked. Deliciously wicked. "Count on it."
The look didn't do anything to calm the heat in my belly, and I groaned and pulled a pillow over my head, hearing her laughter move out of the room. "Right now," she called to me as she moved down the stairs, "all I can do is offer you coffee…come on down when you're ready, help yourself to whatever you need."
I lay still for a minute, attempting to get this thing…this
amazing
thing…that Robyn did to me under control.
She had a car coming. She was leaving. For two months.
I pulled the pillow tight against my face in frustration.
I wasn't going to see her for two freaking months. Wasn't going to feel what I'd felt the night before for two goddamn months. Wouldn't touch her, hold her, taste her…
Christ, she's not even gone yet and I already miss her. You've got it bad, Caid.
The sound of a phone ringing, muffled by the pillow but still audible, stopped the depressing direction of my thoughts. I tossed the pillow to the side and rolled off the bed, realizing that I was wasting what little time I had with her, and that I should get my butt downstairs pronto. After a quick perusal of my wrinkled clothing from the night before, I grabbed a t-shirt and some shorts from the shelves in Robyn's closet, pausing to breathe in the familiar scent of her that lingered on the clothes before pulling on the faded UCLA t-shirt and black soccer shorts.
I started down the stairs, whistling happily, and was nearly run over by Robyn, barreling up the stairs full-tilt with a panicked look in on her face. She skidded to an abrupt halt at the sight of me, a brief smile flickering across her features as she took in my outfit.
"Damn. You look good in my clothes." She blinked, and her expression closed. "But you need to leave. Now."
The quip about looking even better out of her clothes died on my lips, and I stared at her. "Pardon?"
She pushed past me into the bedroom, returning a moment later to shove a bundle of clothes - my clothes - into my hands. "My sister just called. She'll be here any minute, and you can't be here."
I took the clothes automatically and let her direct me down the stairs, bewildered by the turn of events. We were at the entryway and Robyn was muttering something about her sister's bad timing when I finally snapped out of my paralysis.
I planted my feet and shrugged off the hand that had been none-to-gently pushing me towards the door. "Why?"
She frowned, glancing nervously at the door. "Why what?"
"Why do I need to be gone when your sister gets here? You're an adult, Robyn. You own this house. You can have whoever the hell you want here, and it shouldn't make a difference to your sister."
Her eyes narrowed, her face becoming cold, and I watched the transformation from lover to stranger happen in seconds. She stepped back and crossed her arms. "Careful, Caid. I don't like to be pushed. A night in my bed does not give you the right to tell me how to deal with my family. I'm not coming out to my sister because you're a good lay."
I blinked, and my ragged, surprised intake of breath was audible.
Ouch.
Amazing how much hurt a few careless words could cause. A part of me knew she didn't mean it - couldn't mean it. She was stressed and scared and would regret those words as soon as she had a chance to think about them. In fact, I could tell she was already regretting them as she closed her eyes pinched the bridge of her nose, swearing softly.
"Shit, Caid, I'm sorry…"
Knowing she was sorry didn't make her words hurt any less, or dim my flare of anger one bit.
"Christ, Robyn, I wasn't asking you to come out to your sister, I was just asking you to treat me at least like someone you give a shit about, that's all." Her eyes widened as I stripped out of the t-shirt and shorts I'd borrowed in jerky, angry movements, tossing each item in her direction as it came off.
"What the hell are you doing?"
I shook out my own wrinkled clothes and started pulling them back on. "There's a woman I assume is your sister walking up the drive. Wouldn't want her to see me in your clothes, now would we? She might get the wrong idea." I finished dressing and laughed bitterly as I stuffed my bra and underwear into my pocket. "I can't freaking believe this. It's been a long time since I've had to sneak out of someone's house with my underwear in my pocket."
I pulled at the hem of my silk sleeveless shirt in an ineffectual attempt to get rid of some of the wrinkles, and ran an unsteady hand through my tangled hair, but it didn't help. I looked exactly like I should - like someone who'd spent the night screwing and was now getting kicked out on her ass.
I gave up with an annoyed expletive and straightened, looking over at Robyn. "Thanks, babe, for turning something I thought was pretty damn amazing into a bad teen movie. Now I know if I ever want to feel like crap, you're my go-to gal."
She winced and stepped forward. "Caid…"
I cut her off with a wave of my hand and yanked the door open, startling a blond woman standing on the other side, hand raised to knock. "Morning," I said, nodding politely. "You must be Robyn's sister. Nice to meet you. I work with your sister occasionally and stopped by to say hello. I was just leaving."
"Caid…wait." Robyn reached for my arm but I slipped past her very confused looking sibling, glancing back when I reached the edge of the porch.
"Safe trip, Robyn. I'm glad, at least, it was good for you."
"Goddamnit, Caid, I didn't mean…"
I whirled and stomped down the walk in very mature, righteous anger, not realizing until I got to Twila's door that I didn't have my keys. Or my wallet. Or my cell phone. All of these items were in my bag, on a stool in Robyn's kitchen.
Sonofabitch.
I closed my eyes and leaned my hands against the roof of the car, trying to calm my anger that was now mixed with acute embarrassment.
I cannot go back in that house. I cannot go back in that house. I can NOT go back…
I stamped my foot against the driveway and my eyes popped open at the sudden pain. I looked down and realized I wasn't wearing any shoes.
Well, fuck.
"Isn't this just
perfect
! Last night's clothes, no keys, no wallet, no phone, no goddamn shoes…"
"Hey, shhh…." Robyn was suddenly behind me, wrapping long arms around my body and pulling me against her. She rested her forehead on my shoulder, tightening her arms. "God, I'm such an idiot, Caid, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it…please, baby, don't leave. I'm sorry…"
My anger drained away at her panicky tone; I sighed and relaxed back against her. "Shit." Jesus, weren't we a pair. One step forward, eighteen back.
She raised her head and kissed my hair just behind my ear. "I'm so sorry, Caid. I keep fucking up. I never, ever want to make you feel like I did…you're not a good lay…"
"Hey!" I squawked, turning my head enough to frown at her.
"Ah, damn, that didn't come out right…of course you are…great, actually…I mean, not that I think of you that way, despite what I said…"
She looked so flustered, so damn earnest…I laughed.
Her forehead creased in confusion and she turned me around to face her, holding me by the shoulders. "You're not mad?"
I snorted. "Of course I'm mad - it was a shitty thing to say, and a shitty way to treat someone."
She dropped her hands from my shoulders and looked at the ground, shuffling her feet like a scolded child. A gorgeous, six-foot tall, dressed in a slinky black robe that was a much to short to be standing around in her driveway scolded child. "I know," she said quietly and looked up remorsefully through long lashes.
It was…adorable.
Damn. No wonder she got away with acting like an asshole. Whip that look out and no one had a chance. I sighed, and tilted her chin up with my hand. "I'll get over it, Robyn, but this is the last time you get to use the 'I'm not used to this' card, okay? This is new to both of us, but that's not an excuse to act like a jerk."
"I know, Caid, and I'm sor…"
"Uh, Robyn? What's going on?" Both our heads jerked towards the tentative voice.
Whoops
. Forgot about the sister.
Without any urgency, I dropped my hand from Robyn's chin and took a casual step back, moving out of her space. She might have been a bit callous in her phrasing earlier, but Robyn had been right. How she interacted with her family wasn't my business.
Yet.
Robyn's eyes flicked over to her sister briefly, and then came back to me, pinning me as though I might leave. She must not have heard my little tirade about not having my keys, wallet and cell phone. "Sorry, Trish…we'll be right in. Can you give us a sec? There's coffee on."
"Robyn, I need to…"
"Trish. Please. Just give me a minute, okay?"
I felt pressure on my fingers and looked down to see that Robyn had taken my hands in hers. I looked at her in surprise. Ten minutes ago, she had been terrified that her sister would find me at her house and get the wrong idea. Or the right idea. Now she was standing here, holding my hands in her driveway.
There was an annoyed huff and light footsteps retreating back up the walk, but Robyn kept her eyes on me.
"So." She absently stroked her thumbs over my knuckles, looking at me intently. "Are we okay?"
I resisted the urge to lean in and kiss the lines of worry from her forehead, settling for a nod and a squeeze of her hands.
"We're okay."
Her body sagged visibly in relief, and she blinked slowly and smiled. "Thank you."
"Do it again, though, and I'll kick that lovely ass of yours into the next century." I was only half kidding, and she knew it.