And Playing the Role of Herself... (16 page)

"So what about you?" she asked eventually. "Turnabout is fair play…tell me about your family. I know you have an extremely handsome twenty-two year old brother…any other siblings lying around?"
I paused, swirling my wine, before answering. "Just one…I have an older brother, Sebastian. He's a tax attorney - lives in Tampa."
There was no warmth in my voice, and she raised her eyebrows. "You don't get along." It was statement, not a question.
"That would be putting it mildly." I took a sip of wine, trying to think of how best to describe the antagonism between my eldest brother and me. "Would you like the short version, or the long version?"
"I'm not in a hurry to be anywhere…why don't we go with the long version?"
"Okay," I said with a wry smile. "Just remember that you asked for it." I paused for a moment, wondering where to begin. "My father is a doctor…in the late sixties, a family practitioner in Milwaukee. He had married his high school sweetheart and opened up his own practice -everything was going along nicely until, as a favor, he hired the daughter of a family friend to help around the office…a year later he'd divorced his wife and married his young employee, who was pregnant."
"So, young employee was…"
"My mom," I answered with a quick nod. "The whole thing was something of a scandal, I guess, since mom was only eighteen, so dad sold the practice and moved his young bride and new baby to Madison, where he set up shop again, and they had another kid," I pointed to myself, "and they lived in, what seemed to me when I was young, happy bliss until I was about twelve. That's when they found out that mom was pregnant again. Mom was thrilled, but dad wasn't so happy - they started fighting constantly - but things progressed as they usually do, and eventually Perry was born."
I held my glass to my chest and drew my feet up under me as Robyn had done. "A few weeks after Perry's first birthday, dad filed for divorce and ran off to Chicago with his twenty-four year old receptionist. Dad was nothing if not consistent," I said, unable to keep the trace of bitterness out of my voice.
"Oh, Caid…that must have been awful." She scooted over until our knees were touching and took my hand, her eyes full of empathy.
I stroked my thumb across her knuckles, liking the feel of her hand in mine, and way our hands looked together. "It was…hard for us all, but it was especially hard on Sebastian. Mom asked for full custody, and dad didn't fight it, basically removing himself completely from our lives. Sebastian worshiped dad, and after he left, Sebastian just…he completely changed. He was angry all the time, screaming and yelling at mom and me, saying it was our fault, getting into trouble, picking fights…" I shook my head in memory. "That was a really fun time, let me tell you."
She squeezed my hand. "So he never really got over it?"
"Nope, he never did…" I looked into the fire. "And then he married into a rich, incredibly religious fundamentalist Tampa family, and went from being an angry, hurt kid to a bigoted, self-righteous asshole." I shook my head. "It's hard to love someone who hates everything about you, and Sebastian has made it very clear that my job, my life…everything about me is evil. Jesus," I said with a pained laugh, "when he finds out I've…that I'm a lesbian, he will seriously blow a gasket." I shuddered at the thought, and Robyn squeezed my hand again.
"I'm sorry, Caid," she said simply.
I smiled wryly and finished the rest of my wine in a gulp. "Me too."
"Do you ever…see your father? I can't believe someone would just cut their kids off like that."
"Hard to believe, isn't it? When he first left, I was pretty angry too, but unlike Sebastian, I was angry at dad, and not mom. He left when I was thirteen, and I didn't see him again until I was twenty-one…now I see him once or twice a year, I guess. Sebastian might see him more, I don't know - dad is definitely a topic I don't want to discuss with him. Perry has met him a few times, but mom remarried a couple of years after dad left, and as far as Perry's concerned, his dad is Larry, mom's current husband."
She shook her head, stroking my hand. "I'm sorry," she said again, and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. "I wish you hadn't gone through that."
"Mm…" I closed my eyes at her tenderness. It had been a long time since I'd told anyone that story and I was glad it hadn't sent her screaming into the hills. Or maybe it had, and she was just being nice. I opened my eyes. "So…now that you know the whole sordid tale, still interested in starting something with me?" I tried to keep my tone light, and not sound too pathetic.
She cupped my face and forced me to look at her. "I'm not that easy to scare away, Caid. I don't care about your family, I care about you."
I turned my head and brushed my lips against the hand cupping my cheek. "Lucky me."
"And don't you forget it, missy," she said, and tweaked my nose, lightening the mood. "I'm going to get a little more wine. Would you like some?"
I handed her my empty glass when she stood and she crossed to the table and divided what was left in the bottle between the two glasses. I put my feet on the floor and stretched my legs, still feeling the slight pull in my hamstrings from my surfing adventure.
"So where does your mom live now?" Robyn asked from across the room.
"She and Larry are still in Madison, although they travel almost six months out of the year. They run a travel tour company - hiking tours to Switzerland, biking in France, sailing the Greek Islands…that sort of thing. They're out of the country now until August."
"That sounds like fun, how long have they been doing that?"
"Um…let's see…maybe eight, nine years? Since Perry was about thirteen, I guess. They used to take him with them."
"Have you ever gone?" She perched herself on the arm of the couch and handed me my wineglass.
"I went on a bike tour through Germany with them once…by the time they started it, I was pretty busy trying to pick up acting gigs…just never seemed like I had enough time."
She motioned for me to move over and then slid in beside me on the couch, curling her feet up and tucking them under my thigh. I could feel the slight chill through the thin linen shorts I was wearing.
"Comfortable?" I asked with a smile and a raised eyebrow.
"Very." She wiggled her toes and grinned at me, the force of it hitting me like a punch.
I loved it when she smiled like that.
This wasn't the practiced smile she gave the cameras and the public. No, this one she gave out sparingly, and only to a select few, and lit her entire face up…hell, her entire self. It was open, inviting and completely captivating. The image robbed me of breath and brought an ache to my chest, and I reached out to trail slightly trembling fingertips down her cheek, shaking my head.
"You're so damn beautiful, Robyn. Sometimes I look at you, and I can't breathe."
Her body stilled, and I wondered if I'd said something wrong. I withdrew my hand slowly. "I'm sorry…"
Her eyes didn't leave my face as she gently placed her wineglass on the table, and then did the same with mine. Her hands went to the buttons of her shirt and she slowly unbuttoned them, one by one, revealing glimpses of tanned skin and peach colored lace. I watched her hands in equal parts fascination and trepidation, and when she was done, I looked up to meet her gaze. She smiled slightly at whatever petrified, excited, confused look I had on my face, then her expression became serious again and she took my hands in hers and turned them over, kissing one palm, then the other.
"I want you to touch me, Caid," she said softly, and placed my hands on the smooth skin of her stomach.
I drew in a shaky breath at the first touch of my hands on her heated skin. I was trembling, and I could feel the echoing tremble under my fingers. "Robyn…" My voice was hesitant, unsure.
"Shhh…" She leaned forward and kissed me, slow and deep, then leaned back against the armrest of the couch, the action parting her shirt completely. "There's no right way or wrong way, Caid. Just…touch me."
I dropped my eyes to take in the sharp angles of her collarbone, small breasts covered by almost shear, peach colored material, and the long, flat planes of her abdomen where my hands rested. She was slender - too slender, I thought briefly - and my hands easily spanned her waist. I brushed tentatively with my thumbs, and raised my hands to run my fingers over the ridges of her ribs, feeling each one. The slight tremors under my fingers gave me confidence and I stroked my hands down her stomach, swirling fingertips into the hollows just above the waistband of her shorts; the hollows that had so intrigued me last time I saw them as she walked up my drive three weeks before.
I paused for a moment, remembering in a rush what I had wanted to do then.
Don't think, Caid. Just…do.
She gave a tiny gasp of surprise and pleasure when I lowered my head and kissed one hollow, then skimmed my lips across her stomach to kiss the other. I felt her hand in my hair, stroking softly and then spasm briefly when I ran my tongue around her navel, dipping in quickly and then sucking gently on the surrounding skin. I laid my cheek against the smooth, warm skin of her belly. "You're so soft," I whispered, letting my fingers play over her skin for a moment before turning and bracing my hands on either side of her, kissing my way up the middle of her body and finally capturing her lips. The gentle kiss soon turned urgent, and when I pulled away, we were both shaking.
Her hands gripped my upper arms tightly, and her breathing was uneven. "God…you make me feel so much…"
I balanced myself on one arm and ran my hand from her shoulder to her chest, hesitantly cupping her breast and lightly stroking my thumb across material of her bra, feeling her nipple harden in response.
She sucked in a breath and her hands dug into my arms painfully. "Caid…baby, I don't want to rush you…we need to stop…"
I raised my fingers to her lips, silencing her, and replaced the fingers with my lips for a brief kiss. "I want you, Robyn," I whispered. "Jesus, so much it hurts. I want to make you feel." I looked at her pleadingly. "Teach me. Show me."
And she did - helping me slowly undress her, whispering breathless words of direction an encouragement, guiding my mouth to her neck and breasts, and much later, my hand to her sex, holding me tightly against her as she shuddered, muscles tightening in release around my fingers.
She continued to hold my hand against her as she slowly relaxed, and I had no objection, enthralled by the feel of her warmth around my fingers and the slick evidence of her desire. Finally she moved her hand and I withdrew, lowering my body next to hers.
"That was…amazing," I said softly, and kissed her forehead. "Thank you."
She let out a strangled laugh and opened her eyes, looking at me with a slightly dazed expression. "I think it's me that should be thanking you."
"So that's good, right?" I asked hopefully, shamelessly asking for reassurance.
She laughed again, and this time when she opened her eyes, they were filled with gentle humor. "Yes. Very good. Caid…you did just fine." She smiled at me and stroked my cheek. "Just fine."
"Good." It wasn't the fireworks-exploded-and-I-lost-touch-with-reality kind of praise that every lover hopes for, but it was enough. I smiled contentedly, thinking practice makes perfect, and gathered her up in my arms, nuzzling her hair. "Mm. You feel good."
She shifted onto her side and laid her head on my chest with a satisfied sigh. "You feel good, too." She reached back and tugged at a blanket that was lying across the back of the couch, pulling it on top of us and settling in once more, her hand making lazy circles on my stomach under my shirt.
After a few minutes the circles moved upward and she brushed her palm across my breast, then came back to circle my hardening nipple with a fingertip, the scrape of her fingernail across the material of my bra sending tiny shockwaves of sensation straight to my groin. I bit back a groan.
"Why is it," she said in a raspy whisper, "that you have so many clothes on?" She tipped her head back and sucked my earlobe into her mouth. "Hmm?"
I could only shake my head as the material of my bra was pushed up, freeing my breasts, and my nipple gently rolled between her fingers. "Oh…" She gave my other breast the same treatment before my shirt was pushed up and her mouth, moist and hot, replaced her fingers. I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath, arching against her. "Jesus…Robyn…"
She rolled until she was on top of me and pushed my shirt up further, sucking and nipping at my breasts, her hands and mouth seeming everywhere at once. I was lost in a haze of sensation and arousal, and when she stopped and lifted herself off me, I whimpered in dismay.
"Caid." Her voice was rough with emotion and need, and my eyes flew open to find her standing naked above me, holding out a hand.
I took her hand and wordlessly followed her as she turned off the gas to the fire, blew out the candles, and led me up the stairs to her bedroom where she undressed me, reverently kissing each newly revealed piece of my body as though it were a gift.
"Beautiful," she said softly as her eyes roamed my body. She ran her hands up my arms and across my shoulders, pausing a moment to knead the muscles there. "So strong." The hands continued their trek, down over my breasts and ribs to where they came to rest on my hips. She looked into my eyes, pausing as though to make sure she had my attention. As if there was any doubt about that. "You're beautiful, Caid."
She took my hand again and pulled the covers on the bed back, then pushed me down and slowly lowered herself on top of me. The feel of our naked skin touching for the first time pulled a low moan from both of us.
"So good," she whispered as she settled on top of me. "I knew you'd feel so good…"
She took her time, her hands stroking and kneading, and her teeth, lips and tongue igniting fires across my skin. Sensation overwhelmed me, and left no room for nervousness or doubt…I drown in the sweetness of it, coming with a shuddering gasp as her fingers filled me and she swiped her tongue across my clit.
The tremors of my orgasm still echoed in my limbs as she kissed her way up my body, bracing herself on her hands above me. "You're amazing," she whispered, kissing my forehead. "Incredible." She placed a soft kiss on each eyelid. "Perfect." She hovered above my mouth, our breath mingling, and traced my upper lip with her tongue. I groaned and surged up to bring our mouths together, tasting myself on her lips. The wave of heat that rolled through me at the thought made me ache, and I needed, right then, to taste her.