Anchored (12 page)

David’s words stopped Mia in mid-sentence.

“David I—” David interrupted her and she noticed his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.

“You have nothing to feel guilty about. You don’t owe him a thing.”

“I know that. Look, let’s forget I brought it up.” Looking out the window she drummed her fingers on the upholstery and tried to ignore the frustration building in her.

The silence in the car became heavy and Mia was determined she wouldn’t be the one to break it. At the touch of his hand she turned towards him.

“I’m sorry. You don’t need to deal with my anger, forgive me.”

Her eyes widened at his words. “David, there’s so much happening in my head right now, I can’t try and make things right for everyone else as well.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Stop staying that.” Mia wanted to stay annoyed but his smile triggered an answering one on her lips.

“That’s better, now I feel forgiven.”

“I’m not sure what to do. Do you think I should call him?” If only someone would tell her what to do. She recalled saying the same thing in counseling and her counselor’s response hadn’t helped. It was her decision.

She sucked in her lips as she realized she’d asked David to tell her what to do.

Looking away from him, she directed with her hand. “There’s a parking space.”

David parked and turned off the car. His hand played with the car keys in the ignition and she listened to them jingle.

When he looked up his eyes were solemn. “I don’t know if you should phone him. Everything in me says don’t have anything more to do with him, but honestly I think it has to be your decision. Have you spoken to Robert?”

“No. I haven’t told him Dad called and I don’t want to. He’s been so wonderful, but it’s so hard for him because he wants to make everything better for me, and he can’t.” 

Mia hesitated and then launched into her idea. “I’ve been thinking about calling Dad and making a time to see him, but—I don’t want to see him on my own and I was wondering if you’d come with me.”

He squinted at her request. “Me?”

“Yes. I want him to know I remember.”

“I’m not sure how he’s going to react when you tell him. What if he doesn’t say what you want him to?” David stared straight into her eyes.

“I know I can’t have any expectations of what he’ll say or do. Obviously it would be a relief if he acknowledged it, but I’m not expecting anything like that.”

“It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind to talk to him.”

Shrugging, Mia reached down and picked up her handbag from beside her seat. “Let’s go in and order our coffee.”

Their coffees arrived and Mia’s fingers fidgeted with her cup. The sound of the cup clanging on the saucer stopped her hand.

David reached over and touched her fingers, the look in his eyes warmed her skin.

Sitting back, she moved her hands to rest on her lap. “Do you remember at Bible study a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about how the truth sets you free?”

When David nodded she continued. “I went home and continued reading about how God is light and that there’s no darkness in him. I think it went on to say something about if we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness then we lie and don’t live by the truth.”

As David opened his mouth to speak Mia lifted her hand to stop him.

“Keeping this secret locked away in my mind has somehow kept me a prisoner. I don’t want to live in the dark any more!” Her voice became stronger, she sat up straighter and her hands lifted to rest on the table. “I want to be free to say to my father that what he did was wrong and it hurt me, hurt me a lot.”

David leaned forward and seemed too big for his chair. “I’m proud of you.”

Mia soaked up his words and allowed their meaning to water her heart. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and looked at her hands.

“I don’t want to pretend any more that we were a happy family. I don’t want to hurt my father but—”

Her mouth fell open at her words. Her hair swung around her face and Mia absently tucked a loose strand behind her ear.

“At least if I confront him then it’s out in the open and he could seek forgiveness from God.”

“You’re thinking about his salvation? You amaze me. Here I am thinking of teaching him a lesson and you’re— ”

“Don’t say it, I know what you’re thinking and I’m not so great. I don’t want to be responsible for not giving him the opportunity to do something about it, that’s all.”

Mia bent her head and wondered what David would do, whether he’d agree to come with her or not. She didn’t know what she’d do if he said no, but she was trying to trust God.

“Mia, I’m honored you asked me but my reaction to your question makes me wonder if I’m the right person.”

Mia wished she hadn’t asked him. How could she put him on the spot like this?

David took a swallow of his coffee then rubbed his chin. “I don’t know if having a man there may be too confrontational for your father and his reaction may become defensive. If you go with a woman then maybe he’ll be more responsive to the truth.”

Nodding, Mia replied, “Okay.” It wasn’t the answer she wanted but understood how difficult it was for him.

“Lets pray now.” David’s voice was steady and strong and Mia looked around at all the people in the cafe and wondered how they’d pray together in such a situation.

David explained that they didn’t need to close their eyes and no one would even realize what they were doing.

Mia hadn’t prayed with anyone except Uncle Robert and the thought of doing so with David was a bit daunting.

Relief filled her when he said, “How about I pray and you nod if you agree with what I’m saying?”

Mia nodded and they both laughed.

“Lord, Mia and I would like your wisdom. Can you show her the best way to go about talking to her father. Go before her and make the way smooth—thank you, Jesus. Amen.”

Chapter 1
8

The hours spent in church were Klara’s hardest. Sitting among so many people pretending things were all right exhausted her. As soon as the church service finished, Klara weaved her way through the people talking in the foyer towards Mia.

“Hello, Klara, how are you?” Mia asked as she turned towards her.

“I’m good. Can you come for lunch, Mia? Polly hasn’t seen you for ages and has been nagging me to ask you over. You know what thirteen year olds are like.”

“I’d like that, what can I bring?” Mia enquired.

“Just yourself. We’ll just dig into the fridge and see what we can find. Do you want to come with me now? I can drop you back here later to pick up your car.”

“No thanks. I’ll take my car. That way you can relax all afternoon without having to go out again.”

Klara clapped her hands together and gave a satisfied smile. “I’ll see you at home then, about one o’clock.”

~~~

When Mia arrived at Klara’s the front door was open and she called out hello.

Polly sprung from nowhere and grabbed Mia’s arm, pulling her into the house. “Hey, Mia, it’s so good to see you. I wondered when Mum would get around to having you over.”

Mia found it easy to embrace the girl and enjoyed Polly’s big smile.

“Mum, Mia’s here. What’s for lunch?” Polly squatted down to look through the glass window of the oven, “Something smells worth eating.”

“Hello, Mia. Wait and see Polly, can you set the table?” Klara rinsed her hands and wiped them dry on a towel.

“Sure thing. Come on, Mum, what’s that smell? What do you reckon, Mia? I think it smells like Mum’s pineapple macaroni cheese. Yum I hope so, I love it. It is, isn’t it?” Polly badgered.

Klara laughed and grabbed her daughter in a quick hug. “Your nose hasn’t let you down.” Klara gave Polly a gentle push. “Now—the table young lady.”

Mia enjoyed herself immensely, and the friendly banter between mother and daughter kept a smile on her face. Polly asked one question after another of Mia. Who cut her hair? How often did she go to the beach? Could she go with her sometime? Were there naughty children at the preschool? The list went on.

The time flew and Mia found herself laughing a lot. After lunch, Mia and Klara tidied up the dishes as Polly disappeared to make a phone call. 

“Thanks for inviting me, I’ve had a lovely time.” Mia folded the dish towel and smiled.

“Lets go and relax on the patio. Do you want a drink of anything before we go outside?”

“No thanks, I’m fine. That was a delicious lunch. You must show me how to make it one day so I can surprise Uncle Robert with it.”

“I’ll write out the recipe for you.” Klara relaxed down into one of the chairs and placed her hands loosely in her lap. Tilting her head to one side she looked at the sky.

“I still haven’t got used to Margaret not being here. I miss her. What about you? How are you coping?” 

With a faraway look on her face Mia replied. “For a while I couldn’t believe it was real and I expected Mum to walk into the room, but of course she didn’t.”

Sighing, Mia lifted a hand and placed it on her neck as if embracing or supporting the weight of her head.

“I feel like there’s so much I want to say to her and I have questions that only she could answer.”

Klara reached out and patted Mia’s knee. “I’m sorry, Mia, really I am. If it’s any consolation your mother and I had many conversations about you and Margaret wanted to talk to you about a lot of things.”

“I tried to get Mum to make a time to talk—but it didn’t happen and now it’s too late.” Sadness seeped into her heart.

“I know Margaret wanted to tell you about her life and how some of the decisions she made affected you.”

“Yes they did. If what you’re saying is true then Mum didn’t try very hard to make those conversations happen.” Mia’s eyes flashed with emotion.

“She did try, but things you don’t understand stopped her. Margaret wanted you to understand her and see her as a person who wasn’t perfect. As someone who made choices and mistakes yet was brave enough to admit them and ask for forgiveness. She wanted to ask you to forgive her.”

Tears spilled out of Mia’s eyes and she looked down. Suddenly she wanted to be anywhere but here. Why was she having this conversation anyway? Her mother was dead and there was nothing she could do about it.

“I think it’s pointless talking about this as Mum isn’t here to tell me what she’d been thinking, and it only hurts to speculate.” Her hands busily removed the moisture off her face.

“Mia, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I loved Margaret and I believe she’d want you to know some of the things that were on her heart. It would be easier for me not to say anything, but then what sort of friend would I be? Can I tell you about a conversation we had the day before she got hit by the car?”

Nodding, Mia leaned forward as if bracing herself for further pain.

She’d been feeling stronger the last few days but right now her limbs were feeling like jelly. What did her mother want forgiveness for? Could she cope with the answer to this question? Part of Mia wanted to bury all her mother’s thoughts with her and not go there. Yet the part of her that had been seeking truth slowly opened up to the possibility that maybe God would make a way for her to hear her mother’s heart through her best friend.

Klara tilted her head, and her eyes seemed to mesmerize Mia.

“I want to share your mother’s story with you.”

“I’m not saying I don’t want you to, but could I have some time to pray about it? I’d like some time to process what you’ve said and, I don’t know, maybe prepare myself. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” Klara said kindly. “How about I give you a call next week and we can make a time to meet?”

“Towards the end of the week would be better for me, maybe Thursday,” Mia suggested.

“Okay, Thursday it is.” Minutes ticked by before Klara broke the silence. “Robert mentioned you’re house sitting.”

“Yes, I moved into a house on Werrina Parade. An amazing house with outstanding views of the ocean.” 

“How do you find living on your own? I know you moved away for a while when you were studying, but didn’t you stay in a student flat?”

Mia pictured her mother and Klara talking together about their families and longed to be part of such a conversation.

“Yes, I lived in student accommodation which was quite fun at the time, but I’m enjoying being on my own. Actually, I’m not completely on my own, I have Bruno living with me.” 

“Who’s Bruno?” A frown wrinkled Klara’s forehead and concern etched her face.

Laughing, Mia told Klara about Bruno and how David had suggested he become her houseguest for a while. She went on to tell her about the fun they had together and how she found herself walking a lot more because Bruno needed exercise. She also mentioned that often David would come over and the three of them would go for a walk together.

“Klara, I think I’ll get going. I left Bruno at home on his own, and talking about him makes me feel like going for a walk.”

Standing, Klara lead the way to the door and called out to Polly that Mia was leaving.

Polly poked her head out her bedroom door and yelled out goodbye, the phone still attached to her ear.

“I really must do something about that phone. It’s a good thing we have call waiting connected and she has to get off if she hears another call coming in.”

As Mia reached for the door, Klara laid a hand on her arm. “Mia, is it okay if I give you a hug?”

Mia felt a knot in her throat and nodded.

With Klara’s arms around her Mia felt herself let out a deep breath and allowed the hug to feed her soul. She was in need of human contact and her eyes once again smarted with tears, hinting at the emotions that were being held firmly in place. 

Chapter
19

Bruno was in and out of the water. Sand flew around him and clung to his hair, and he barked and bounced at the waves as they raced towards him. The breeze caressed Mia’s skin with its fingers and brushed her hair across her face. Her mind seemed to be flitting from one thing to another.