An Imperfect Circle (12 page)

The sound of his gulp as I walk away is possibly the most satisfying thing I have ever heard.

The bus isn’t too crowded as I make my way back to my house, smiling to myself because I’ve had an amazing day with Becky and she definitely seemed more com
fortable trying on clothes this time. She even picked a few things herself that got thumbs up from me.

I relax into my seat and watch the city fly by the window. I grimace as my skin heats up because I know it’s happening again. I hate that I can actually
feel
his presence. I guess my body recognises his smell or something because we spent so much time together as kids. There’s no other reasonable explanation.

I know he’s seen me too because he’s looking right at me even as he and Matt flash their passes to the driver.

He nudges Matt, who grins, and strides purposefully in my direction. I want to sink into my seat and groan but I’m not going to let them know they get to me.

“
Elise,” Karl grins, swinging his weight down onto the chair so that he’s sat right next to me.

Matt makes do with the seat in front of us, sitting sideways and taking up two seats. I scowl at both of them in response, crossing my arms and looking out the window again, even though I’m not seeing the city any more.

“Still doing the not talking to us thing, eh?” Karl chuckled to himself.

“
She talks to me,” Matt grins and I can feel Karl glare at him even without looking.

“
She
has
to talk to you because of D&T,” he grits.

“
Take it easy, mate,” Matt grins. “I know you called dibs.”

“
You can’t call dibs on a person and I don’t want anything to do with either of you so you can both leave me alone. Right now,” I say calmly, without looking at them.

“
Not true. I’ve had dibs on you since we were six,” Karl insists and I resist the urge to punch the smug grin off his face.

“
I still can’t believe you’re the same girl,” Matt shakes his head in disbelief.

“
Yeah, well I can’t believe you’re the same boy but people change.”

Matt scowls at me and for a second I see that boy. I know for sure he’s still in there and I kind of miss who he used to be. He may have been scared and hurt, but he was so kind and thoughtful. Now he just seems
perpetually angry.

“
Yeah they do,” Karl says seriously. His eyes are on me and he seems oblivious to the pained look on Matt’s face.

I turn my head again and go back to studying the window. I hear Karl sigh and I get the feeling I’m not going to like whatever is coming so I grit my teeth.

“Look, Elise-”

“
Ellie,” I cut him off with a growl.

“
Right, Ellie,” he sighs again. “Look, I get that we have a history but, like you said, people change. I like you and I want to get to know you better.”

“
You don’t know me well enough to like me,” I frown, turning to look at him despite myself.

Looking at him is always a mistake. His eyes seem to hold me captive.

“I know that you don’t put up with bullshit. I know that you’re violent as hell. I know that you love Wagon Wheels. I know that you pretend you don’t give a crap what anyone thinks but you’ll go out of your way for you best friend. I know that everyone pisses me off, you included, but when you do it, I kinda like it.”

“
You like that I piss you off?” I smirk.

He nods and I can tell he thinks he’s winning me over.

“You’re in luck then,” I grin. “I don’t plan on stopping.”

He frowns like he’s not quite sure what to say to that and I watch as his brow sets in determination.

“Know what else I know?” He brings his head closer to mine and lowers his voice to a whisper. “I know that touching you still makes my skin tingle.”

“
Static,” I mumble, caught off guard by the switch in his approach and the way I can smell his cinnamon breath.

“
Static,” he agrees with a wry smile, sitting back up and acting like he didn’t just make me shiver.

I hate him.

“Karl, I’m not the one that made it this way. You made your decision five years ago. You can’t change your mind now.”

“
What the hell-” His protests are cut short as the bus driver is forced to slam the breaks on.

We all jerk forwards and Karl’s arm shoots sideways, just barely preventing my head from smashing into the
metal seat in front of me.

Don’t get me wrong, it still hurts like hell but it would have hurt a lot more if he hadn’t done it. I try not to read to
o much into it as I look to the front of the bus to see what’s happening.

“
What is this clown playing at?” The bus driver yells in irritation.

I cringe inwardly as I realise why the bus has stopped. I’d recognise that chaotic mop of hair a million miles away and while I can’t figure out what it’s doing in Derby, I’m still happy to see it.

“Move,” I squeal at Karl, already climbing over him so I can make my escape.

“
Wait!” He calls out but I’m already gone, demanding that the driver open the door so I can stop Bear from being run over.

“
Bear, what are you doing?” I shout at him as I dash round to the front of the bus to tug him out of the road.

“
Hello, glowbug!” He greets me like he hasn’t just almost killed himself.

I want to be angry at him for almost
becoming road kill but I’m just too happy too see him.

“
Woah, a hug!” Bear grins, cautiously putting one arm around me as I embrace him.

My grin falters and I take a step back. I didn’t even think about it, I just hugged him. I’ve never hugged him before.

“Sorry,” I frown.

“
Don’t have to apologise, sweets. I wasn’t complaining.”

I wince as the
bus driver flips us off as he rumbles past but I’m glad for the distraction. I don’t want to think too much about what just happened. I don’t do hugs. Well, not with anyone who isn’t part powerpuff girl.

“
Some people need to mellow out,” Bear chuckles, shaking his head at the retreating bus.

“
Well you did sort of jump out in front of him, Bear,” I grin. I love that he’s completely unfazed by almost dying but I’m still waiting on an explanation.

“
Had to save this little guy,” he grins, baring his teeth. No matter what people say about hippy-types, Bear must be doing something right because he has the most perfect set of even white teeth I have ever seen.

I draw my attention away from his pearly whites, noticing for the first time that he has his jumper wrapped around something and bundled under one arm.

“Bear, is that a pigeon?” I cock my head at him.

“
Yup,” he nods, lifting the bundle up so he can look into the little rodent’s eyes. “Poor fellow seems to have broken his wing. He was about to get run over.”

“
I see,” I grin. Not many people would risk their own lives to save a pigeon’s and it’s one of the things I love about Bear. He didn’t even think twice about it.

I still haven’t gotten over the surprise of seeing Bear in Derby so I study him silently as we walk towards my house. He hasn’t said anything but I assume that’s where he’s going.

“You come to see mum?” I ask eventually.

“
And you, glowbug,” he grins. He blushes slightly and I’m not sure why but I let him off because a lot of what he does is sort of unpredictable. Like jumping out in front of busses to save feathery rats.

“
I didn’t know you were coming,” I smile.

“
Sort of spur of the moment. I was walking past the train station and it just felt right.”

I nod because I know Bear goes on his feelings a lot of the time.

“Have you talked to mum already?” I ask.

He nods and wrinkles his nose slightly, digging his spare hand in the pocket of his canvas trousers.

“Bear!” I gasp when he pulls out a mobile phone. “Welcome to the twentieth century!” Until this point, he’s religiously avoided anything that even hints at technology. I have a sneaking suspicion it’s because he doesn’t understand it rather than that he believes mobile phone masts melt your brain.

He grumbles something and hands it over.
“Corinne made me get it. I’m only just figuring out how to use it.”

“
Now you can just text me instead of going all the way into town to talk to me,” I beam happily, making sure my number is saved in his phone.

“
Text?” He frowns.

“
SMS,” I explain. “It’s like a little letter that gets delivered instantly.”

“
They would have called that witchcraft a few years ago,” he grumbles, sweeping his hair out of his face and into a ponytail before tying it with one of the bracelets from his wrist.

“
Anyway, I was thinking I might stay here for a while, catch up with you guys.” He looks at me sideways and I can’t quite gauge his expression.

I’d point out that our house is tiny and already fairly cramped but there’d be no point. Bear would sleep on the kitchen floor and not care. He’d be happy no matter what.

“Awesome,” I beam. “I’ve missed you.”

“
I missed you too, sweets,” he grins, his eyebrow ring tilting to the side as his whole face smiles. “Your mum says things are going good for you. Says you’ve been all smiley. You sounded happy on the phone.”

I nod.
“Things are going better than expected. I’m pretty close to happy, I think.”

“
How will you know when you’re there?”

“
I don’t know,” I shrug. “I guess I’ll just feel it.”

“
Maybe you’re already happy and you just don’t want to believe it,” he suggests.

“
Maybe,” I frown. I’ve not really thought about it like that. I’ve definitely been happier but I’m not sure if I’m truly happy. I don’t think I can be until I’m back to Elise and everything’s perfect again.

“
How are things with that boy? He still hassling you?”

“
Yeah,” I sigh. “I just saw him on the bus actually.”

“
Oh?” Bear prompts with genuine interest. He almost drops the feathery mess as he shifts it from one arm to the other.

I nod.
“Seems like he wants to be friends.”

“
And that’s a problem?”

I sigh.
“I don’t know. I don’t want everything being dragged up. I’ve moved on, he’s moved on. It’d be better if we just stayed away from each other.

“
You may have moved on, glowbug, but you definitely haven’t moved past it.”

I glare at him and he chuckles because he knows me too well. He knows I’m glaring because he’s right. If I’m truly honest with myself, I hate that I lost his friendship and I hate that he rejected me like that and I can’t even hate him for it b
ecause he’d just saved my life.

“
Can’t you just start over with him? Forget what’s happened and see if you can be friends again.”

“
I don’t know,” I sigh. “I kinda wish he would just leave me alone for the next two years.”

“
Just think about it, sweets,” he sighs.

I know that what Bear says comes from a good place and he usually doesn’t give advice unless it’s something he’s thought about for a good long while so I just nod and commit myself to think about it. Just think.

“Home sweet home,” I grin as we approach the front door.

“
Home sweet home,” Bear agrees, opening the door and letting himself in.

The moment we enter the kitchen, mum throws herself into Bear’s arms. I look away and
meet my aunt’s gaze so we can share an eye roll. We both know what’s coming next and neither of us have any interest in watching the two of them swap saliva.

When I was younger, seeing them kiss freaked me out but I got used to it. A lot of people in the earthen community are like that and a kiss between them seems to be more of a symbol of friendship than anything romantic. I never understood it but I figure that’s more a reflection of my dislike for any sort of intimacy than anything else.

“Nice to see you, Cecile,” Bear beams, giving her a proper Bear hug once he’s finished with my mum.

“
Welcome,” Cecile smiles. It’s a tight smile and one I’ve seen a hundred times before. I’m not sure whether or not she actually likes Bear but she’s always polite with him. To be honest, I don’t think she trusts mum’s choices with any sort of male company. Especially when that company becomes a part of my life.

“
You two arrived home at the same time?” Mum prompts, leading us into the kitchen.