An Imperfect Circle (4 page)

It wasn’t long after that mum’s boyfriend
’s visits started and I remember being glad that I’d kissed Karl first because I knew what a real kiss was meant to feel like.

Karl and I
used to pretend we were super heroes because when we touched sometimes, our skin would tingle. Now that I’m older, I know it was just static shock, but it was a happy time filled with the innocence that let us pretend.

I shake my head and force myself back to the present;
I’m making myself too miserable and living in the past. None of that tomorrow. I make my way to the cellar to lose myself in a piece of wood. I’ve been feeling it out for a few days and I think I’ve almost understood the tortured figure trapped behind the bark. I’m ready to release it.

The next day, I’ve recharged my batteries and I’m feeling positive. So, I saw Karl. Whatever. We knew each other years ago, I thought we had something special but he rejected everything that I was. All the impurity and imperfection.

Now, I’m
moving forwards. He doesn’t know who I am and, as long as Ian doesn’t blow my cover, he doesn’t need to. I doubt he would care anyway. I bet he doesn’t even remember me. If he does, it will just be that last, awkward meeting.

I’ve decided that meeting Becky Blossom was mean
t to be. I haven’t looked forwards to going to school for as long as I can remember. There’s something about that girl and her energy. She makes me feel sort of hopeful that I can get Elise back quicker than I’d planned.

I find my form room fairly quickly thanks to Blossom’s explanation of the school organisation. She’s already sat at her spot alone in the corner with her nose in a book.

“Morning, Blossom. What you reading?” I grin, slouching down into the chair next to her.

“
Catcher in the Rye,” she frowns. “I have to read it for English next year but I just
can’t
get into it. He’s so
miserable
and he whines about
everything
. I just don’t get his problem!” She humphs. “And also, why do you keep calling me Blossom?”

I grin and slide her a drawing I made at the breakfast table. It’s a doodle of her as a powerpuff girl.

“Oh my gosh!” She exclaims loudly, drawing the attention of the people in the classroom who weren’t already staring at me. “Is this me?”

“
Blossom,” I nod. “You’re just like her.”

“
I love it!” She squeals, grabbing me in another of her Chemical X cuddles.

She’s so happy
, she doesn’t even notice the awkward way in which I return it.

We don’t have maths
until later in the day but we share a free period before lunch and we make plans to meet up. We sit together and get no work done as she fills me in on the school hierarchy. Every school has one.

“
The year twelves and thirteens hang out together quite a bit. The popular gang is fairly tightknit. The guys are alright but the girls are kind of mean. You met Stacy and Annie. They’re good examples. You have to know about hair, and makeup, and clothes, and- well I guess you do,” she gestures to my appearance and I smirk.

“
Blossom, I only do goth make-up. My clothes are all from charity shops, and my hair is a wig.”

Her eyes widen in shock.
“That’s not your real hair?” She looks at my dreadlocks, with thick red ribbons woven through today, and gently pokes at one.

“
Nope,” I shake my head, smiling inwardly because she didn’t blink when I told her where my clothes are from.

“
Can I see your real hair?” She asks hopefully.

“
Maybe one day,” I grin. I really hope that she can. My red hair is part of Elise, I’ve always felt that way. I started colouring it years ago with natural hair dies but that took too much time and effort and I wasn’t convinced it was doing my hair any good so I bought a wig with the profits from the first piece of furniture I sold.

“
Awesome sauce,” Becky grins. “Anyway, where was I… Oh yeah. The popular boys are all the Carters and their friends. I mean, you saw them last night, they’re amazing.”

I roll my eyes in response because I know at least one of them is a dung beetle.

“You don’t see it?” She gapes at me open-mouthed.

I shake my head vehemently.

“Give it time, you will,” she nods knowingly.

She’s so wrong.

“Where are we having lunch?” I change the subject, looking out the window into the courtyard. It’s raining and Becky said she usually ate outside. I’m all for nature but I also like dry clothes and I don’t want my face to run.

“
Erm, well… the sixth formers mostly eat in the common room but-”

“
But what?” I frown. She seems uncomfortable.

“
I think only the cool kids hang out there. Yesterday I just found an empty classroom.”

I mentally kick myself for making the poor girl eat on her own in an empty room. That was not good of me. I need to be a better friend.

“You know what, Blossom?” I prompt. “You’re pretty cool. Come show me the common room.”

She seems hesitant so I make a bold move and hold her hand with a reassuring squeeze. This seems to encourage her and she leads the way.

The common room is a big, open space area with tonnes of sofas, a sound system, and a silent study area.

Naturally
, nobody is studying and the sound system is on a fraction too loud. The cliques are obvious; the popular kids dominate the room, taking control of the music. The sporty kids to the left and the moderately intelligent but appropriately fashionable kids sit on the right. In the far corner, closest to the study room there’s a cluster of overeager nerdy kids who obviously haven’t let go of their dreams to become part of the it-crowd.

“
We could go sit in the cafeteria?” Becky offers as we hover by the door.

“
Come on, Blossom. Where’s the powerpuff girl gone? We can eat here.” This girl should have tonnes of friends. I need to help her out and she needs to come out of her shell a bit. Her clothing’s not bad today, she actually matches. She’s wearing shades of green and it makes her hair look amazing. She’s vibrant, beautiful, and – as I found out in maths class – a total genius. I can’t figure out why anyone wouldn’t like her.

“
Oh my god,” a tall brunette girl who’s sat with Stacy sneers. “It smells disgusting in here!” Her eyes are firmly locked in our direction and I know what’s coming so I stiffen my shoulders and brush into the room, clutching Becky’s hand and ignoring what is obviously the queen bee.

“
Really disgusting,” she continues. “I can’t figure out if it’s coming from the ginger or the zombie. Don’t you two ever shower?”

She’s met with tumultuous laughter and I turn around to confront her but Becky tugs me towards the far corner.

“Sit your fine ass down, Shelly,” Ian demands, beckoning for Shelly to sit on his lap.

She, of course, swoons and places her pert behind on his crotch. I meet his eyes and I know he did that for me. Although I doubt he minds too much. I flip him off because I don’t need a knight in shining armour. I need for him to keep his mouth shut and not tell his brother who I am.

His eyes laugh back at me and he directs his attention to the girl in his lap, placing his hands on her hips. I can see Stacy shooting daggers at Shelly but she seems oblivious.

“
I’m too nervous to eat,” Becky whines. Shoving her lunchbox away from her and slumping her head over her arms.

“
Becky,” I sigh affectionately. “Who cares what they think? We have as much right to be in here as they do.” I smile at her as I pull out my stash of Wagon Wheels, offering her one.

“
Is that your lunch?” She wrinkles her nose.

I nod.
“I told you, I don’t really eat lunch. I eat Wagon Wheels.”

“
How is it that you are not the same shape a Wagon Wheel?”

“
I am in shape. Round is a shape,” I wink. In all honestly, woodwork is a lot harder than it looks. I don’t really exercise much but I don’t have to pay that much attention to what I eat. I have toned arms, legs, and a strong core. I don’t give it much thought.

She giggles and relaxes
a little, opening up her box of chicken salad and digging in. I can tell she’s still a little uneasy but at least she’s eating.

Two
school uniform clad figures enter and they stand out like sore thumbs. It’s the Carter twins and they don’t seem to care that they’re in a room designated for sixthformers. They’ve obviously been in here before. They’re followed by Karl and Matt and my mood sours at his presence even though I knew I couldn’t avoid him for the next two years.

“
E,” Karl draws his brother’s attention. “Twins want a favour.”

Rick and Danny’s attentions are on Annie and her ridiculously short skirt but they swing their eyes round to Ian when he looks over at them.

“Well?” Ian prompts.

One twin nudges the other with his shoulder and pushes him forwards, designating him speaker.

“We forgot to pick up the envelope with the deposit for the yearbook,” he explains begrudgingly. “Can we borrow some money? You’ll have it back as soon as we get home.”

“
You mean this envelope?” Ian smirks, producing a white envelope from his pocket.

The twins nod eagerly, taking a step forward to retrieve the envelope. Ian snatches it away, out of their reach.

“It’ll cost you,” Ian smirks.

The twins both groan.

“Come on, E,” one of them pleads. “We barely had chance to eat breakfast.”

“
Not my problem, Danny. Do your chores faster next time,” Ian shrugs.

The twins drop their shoulders dejectedly and glance at each other. They seem to reach a silent agreement and both retrieve their lunch boxes from their bags, reluctantly handing them over to Ian.

Ian just winks and hands Danny the envelope. They sigh and make a quick exit out of the room. I gesture to Becky that I’ll be right back as the twins make their way round the corner.

“
Chip and Dale, wait up!” I call out, realising my mistake as soon as I’ve made it. That was my nickname for them when I was younger.

Fortunately
, they don’t even seem to notice as they both turn around to face me.

“
Well, well, welly. If it isn’t Ellie,” one of them grins. I’m fairly sure it’s Danny. He was always more vocal than Rick. He also thought he was funny.

“
Here,” I ignore him and hand over a couple of Wagon Wheels.

He just raises an eyebrow at me and then snatches them out of my hand as if he’s worried I’m only joking. I turn around and head back to the
common room.

“
Hey, Ellie!” They shout at my back.

I turn my head and pause momentarily to listen.

“Thanks!”

I nod and make my way back in
, glaring at Ian, Karl, and Matt as I pass and see them splitting the twins’ lunches. What sort of brothers steal food from each other? Ian meets my eyes and I can tell he knows what I’ve done.

Told you, observant that one.

“Selfish toad balls,” I grumble as I pass them.

“
Got something to say to us, demongirl?” Matt snaps.

“
Leave it, Matt,” Ian warns disinterestedly but he’s too late, Matt’s already on his feet.

“
Yeah, I got something to say.” I turn to meet him face-to-face, shoe-to-shoe. Or rather boot-to-trainer. Of course, Karl is at his side. But he’s just as bad.

“
You were all righteous yesterday, teaching that kid not to be a bully, but the three of you just bullied your own family and made them go without a meal. You’re pathetic.” I practically spit my words at them and they’re loaded with contempt.

“
Who the fuck do you think you are to judge us?” Matt snarls, caging me in between him and the table behind me. “You’ve been here one day. You know fuck all. Go back to your graveyard and stay out of our business.” The gaggle of girls in the Carter fan club giggle in amusement.

“
I’m not judging you, moron. I don’t buy the macho crap so don’t try and intimidate me. I call it how I see it and you’re just-”

“
Enough,” Ian booms, standing so that Shelly slides off his lap. The room falls silent and even the radio seems to lower a few notches in deference to the dominance in his tone.

I level him with a stony glare but I’m terrified he’s about to reveal me. He takes a few long strides towards me and pulls Matt back.

“You know a lot about us, huh, Ellie?” Ian smirks and I clench my jaw with repressed anger. “Know how we do things and it’s your call whether it’s right or wrong.”

“
You took their food.”

“
Do they look like they’re starving? Do they look like they’ll suffer from missing a meal?” He demands.

I keep silent because he knows they don’t.

“I took their food to teach them a lesson. They forget things all the time and they need to learn.”

Still seems pretty brutal to me. Starving someone is a pretty despicable thing to do.

“If you knew the twins, you’d know what they’ll be doing right now. They’ve probably doubled that money already, swindling some poor year sevens out of their lunch money by placing bets. They’re resourceful. They’ll find food if they need it. Don’t pretend like you know any of us, because you don’t. Not any more.” He adds the last three words on a whisper and then winks at me before reclaiming his seat.