An Ideal Husband? (24 page)

Sophie stuffed her hand into her mouth. It was far worse than she had imagined. How could any woman leave her children alone and defenceless in a wood? ‘How did you get back? Did your father find you? How long were you there?’

‘Once I realised no one was coming, I carried Hannah all the way home as my mother had taken the governess’s cart. Someone had to take responsibility.’

There was a wealth of information in the
stark sentences. Sophie could easily imagine the frightened boy left alone with a crying toddler, far from home, expecting help and having none come. Despite his reputation for scandal, Richard always tried to protect those who were weaker than him. It was why that woman Mary’s death had affected him so badly.

She wanted to gather him in her arms and tell him what he’d done that day was a brave and wonderful thing. But she hardened her heart and stayed still. He should never have treated her in the manner he did.

‘How … how could she do such a thing?’ she asked instead.

‘Hannah’s father was my mother’s lover before she married my father. He abandoned her for Australia and she married my father in haste. My father adored the ground my mother walked on. She found him old and fusty. She spent money doing up Hallington like it was water and gave extravagant parties while my father became ever more absorbed in his pig-breeding. Eventually Grayson returned and the affair started again. My sister was born nine months after he returned.’

‘Hannah is your mother’s love child?’ Sophie closed her eyes.

‘My father acknowledged Hannah as his own and then, when she was two … this happened.’

Sophie remembered the tears in Lord Hallington’s eyes when he said that he’d always wanted a daughter. ‘You had better tell me everything so I can understand. If I don’t understand, I don’t see how I can give proper advice.’

She listened carefully as Richard explained about the divorce and his father’s conditions. How his mother had chosen Hannah and her lover had formally adopted her. How he’d learnt not to depend on his father appearing at any function and that he’d had to fight his own battles. Finally Richard spoke about how he always made sure that he was never hurt like that again and how if any of his mistresses wanted to leave, he let them go. He ended things before he became involved. How he never offered twice.

Sophie pressed her lips together and knew he’d broken his rules for her. More than once. Her heart fluttered, but she simply nodded her head and waited for him to finish.

‘I thought I would keep my heart safe, but when you left last night, I learnt that simply denying feelings doesn’t stop them from happening. When you walked out, you took my heart with you. You didn’t mean to.’

‘What do you want from me? Your heart
back?’ Sophie clenched her hands and knew she had made a decision. Every woman Richard had known had abandoned him. She had done exactly the same thing when she didn’t know about his past. But now she did and she knew he was worth fighting for. ‘How can I give your heart back when I didn’t know I had it?’

‘It belongs to you now. It has belonged to you for longer than I dare admit.’ Richard bowed his head and his shoulders slumped. ‘What I wanted from you was for you to listen and you have. I will go now. I wanted you to know that I am here for you if you ever need me. And I have decided that there is no longer any purpose in trying to keep my parents happy.’

Sophie knew she had this one chance to make their marriage into the sort of marriage she wanted, rather than one that others might want for her.

‘I am coming with you. I need you to need me and I think you need me by your side and in your life.’

His eyes opened wide and his mouth dropped open. ‘What?’

‘After you leave here, you are going to see your father and tell him the truth about why you were in Newcastle to begin with and what you wanted to accomplish. Then you are going
to see your mother with your father and get him to give her a promise that he won’t ruin Hannah out of spite. She believes his promises because he is like you. He always tries to keep his promises.’ Sophie’s heart thudded. She had to get this right. ‘And if I am there, it will make life easier for everyone, particularly you. You shouldn’t go into battle without your heart.’

He gave a shadow of his old heart-melting smile. ‘Precisely, but why are you willing to do this?’

Sophie held out her hand. ‘You could do this on your own, Richard, but it is easier if you have someone who will stand shoulder to shoulder with you. Your parents are difficult people. Your father will bluster and thunder. Your mother may fly into hysterics. They both need to see that you are not on your own any more. They both failed you when you were a boy. You never failed them. You don’t have to put things right for them, but if you want to, I will be there at your side.’

‘Sophie!’

‘Your mother in particular needs to see that we stand together. That no one can drive a wedge between us. She needs to see that she is not losing a son, but gaining a daughter. And she is having no part in our marriage or the marriage of her daughter.’

He stepped towards her. ‘What … what are you saying about our marriage, Sophie?’

Sophie drew in her breath. This time he had to believe her. But even if he didn’t, she’d go on telling him until he believed.

‘I’m saying that I love you, Richard, and, even if your scheme doesn’t work and your parents behave badly, I will stand by you and make sure that Hannah’s match happens. She is my sister now. She doesn’t need to have her life ruined by selfish people who should just grow up. Just as you don’t deserve it, either.’ She stood up and held out her arms. ‘I learnt something today. Life is better when someone believes in you and I believe in you, Richard.’

‘You mean to stay married to me?’ He caught her hand in his.

‘Until my dying breath.’ Sophie bowed her head. She wanted to get the words right and explain. ‘I was angry and hurt last night because I didn’t understand what you were doing. You wrongly kept me in ignorance and, rather than asking, I leapt to conclusions. I don’t need protection from anyone, Richard, as long as I have you by my side. I don’t care what other people say about us as long as we please ourselves.’

‘Always.’ He folded her in his arms and put
his head against hers. ‘You’ll always have me. I believe in you, Sophie.’

‘I know that now.’ She gave a little hiccupping laugh. ‘I never thought you’d come out to Corbridge or face Henri down. Some people might think it isn’t much, but I know you. I know what you have been through and what you believed might happen, but you still came and you were willing to fight for me. You fought for me when I tried to hide behind my experience with Sebastian. You showed me that it didn’t define me. I defined me.’

He squeezed her hand. ‘I do love you, Sophie. I simply was afraid to say the words before. Until you came into my life, I didn’t know what happiness could be.’

‘And I was too afraid to see the signs of your love. They were there but, until I started trusting me, I didn’t think I was worthy of your love.’

‘I forced you into our marriage. I rushed you before you were ready.’ He put his hands on either side of her face. ‘I seduced you, ruthlessly and cynically seduced you because I had to be certain of you. Do you forgive me?’

‘Why, Richard? Why did you do it?’ Sophie whispered.

‘Because I needed you in my life, every part of my life. You complete my life and make me
whole.’ There was a new humble note in Richard’s voice. ‘I wanted to make sure you could become the person you were meant to be and the only way to do that was to have you by my side. Or at least that was what I told myself. It wasn’t until you walked out that I knew I married you because I needed you in my life and for no other reason. You are necessary to me, Sophie, as necessary as breathing. Hopefully, some day, I will be necessary to you as well.’

‘You are already necessary.’ Sophie looked into his eyes. ‘Robert and Henri’s return was a fig leaf for my pride because I thought you would not ask me to marry you again. I remembered what you said on the night we met. I knew I loved you when you brought me the painting materials and then insisted I use them.’

‘You were very late to fall. I know I started to love you when you refused my invitation to waltz on the first night. Any other woman and I would have walked away, but with you, I knew I couldn’t. I wanted to be part of your life.’ He gave a crooked smile. ‘I took advantage of you in the carriage. I had promised I wouldn’t, but the temptation was far too great. I had to know you would be in my life and I played on your need to be seen to be good.’

Sophie gave a throaty laugh. She had been
so intent on assuming things that she had failed to consider the obvious. Richard married her because he wanted to. Not because society demanded it, but because he desired it. ‘I was easy to seduce. Love will do that to a woman.’

He smoothed her hair back from her forehead. His eyes looked deeply into hers. Sophie wondered that she had missed the deep love which shone out. Now that she knew where to look, the love was clear to see. ‘If I had asked you to marry me without seduction, would you have done?’

‘Ask me. Ask me now and I will give you the answer I would have given then.’

‘Will you marry me, Sophie? Will you spend the rest of your life with me?’

‘Always.’ Sophie lifted her mouth to his. ‘I will always marry you. I will always stay at your side. Not because society demands, but because you are the keeper of my heart and I want to be there.’

All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.

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First published in Great Britain 2013
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of Harlequin (UK) Limited.
Harlequin (UK) Limited, Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road,
Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR

© Michelle Styles 2013

eISBN: 978-1-472-00373-7