An Elm Creek Quilts Sampler (107 page)

The church was full, as it usually was on Thanksgiving, mostly with older couples Mother’s age, some accompanied by grandchildren. Grace listened to the preacher’s words of forgiveness and gratitude and reflected ruefully on how well they applied to her that day, as if the preacher knew about her impending reunion with Gabriel and had written the sermon especially for her. In the spirit of the day, she promised herself that she would be civil to him.

Afterward, as Grace and her mother drove to Helen’s home, Grace said, “Did Helen tell you Gabriel will be joining us?”

“Yes, she did, although I think she wishes he wasn’t,” Mother said. “She wouldn’t have allowed it, except that I told her if you didn’t object, neither should we. That’s very Christian of you, Grace, to allow him to come. Forgiveness is never easy, and he’s done much to be forgiven for.”

Grace was silent. “I don’t know if I’ve forgiven him,” she finally admitted. “Justine grew up without a father, and nothing he does now can change that. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for that.”

Mother patted her on the arm. “You’re willing to try. That’s a step in the right direction.”

Her voice was reassuring and kind, so Grace didn’t have the heart to tell her she had only reluctantly allowed Justine to invite Gabriel, and then only because she didn’t want to ruin Joshua’s holiday. That, and because she couldn’t bear to let Justine think she was keeping him away out of jealousy.

When they reached Helen’s home, the driveway was already full of cars and others were parked along the street in front of the house. When they opened the front door, they were greeted by hugs from aunts and uncles and cousins, as well as the delicious aromas of roasting turkey, dressing, and other tempting dishes. Grace and her mother brought their contributions to the meal into the kitchen. Before she could slip away to search for Justine, Helen tossed her an apron and put her to work. Sometime later Justine entered, carrying Joshua on her hip. “Tell Grandma ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’” she coached as she held him out for Grace to take. Joshua obediently obliged as best he could, and Grace laughed and hugged him.

“You’re my good boy,” she said, kissing him on the top of the head. She set him down, and as he toddled off to the living room in search of his cousins, her eyes met Justine’s. “Is he here?”

“He’s in the other room. Last I saw him, he was talking to Uncle Steve. I think I’ll join them.”

Justine left, and Grace was about to resume mashing the potatoes when Helen took the masher from her and said, “You might as well get it over with.” She gave Grace a knowing look and tilted her head in the direction Justine had taken.

Grace nodded and untied her apron. Helen was right; it would be better to face Gabriel for the first time now rather than across the supper table. She went into the crowded family room, stopping to chat or exchange hugs as she worked her way across the room. She spotted her mother and Justine in the crowd, but Gabriel was not with either of them.

In the living room, Gabriel was seated on the sofa beside Grace’s sister Mary, with Joshua on his lap. His back was to her, so only Mary saw Grace enter. “Um, I just remembered,” she said, rising. “I told Helen I’d help set the table.”

Gabriel must have seen Mary’s gaze wander, for he turned and spotted her. “Grace. Hi.” He set Joshua down in Mary’s place and stood. He smiled, hesitantly, and extended his hand.

She had to force herself to shake it. “Hello, Gabriel.” Her voice sounded calm and even, which astonished her. Somehow, after so much time, she had expected not to recognize him. He was thinner, and the mustache was gone, and there was a slump to his shoulders that she had not seen before, but except for the gray in his hair, little else about him had changed.

He flashed a nervous smile. “You’re looking well.”

“Thank you.” Only then did she realize that one by one, the other family members had slipped out of the room, except for Joshua, who sat quietly playing with an Oscar the Grouch doll. Grace picked up her grandson and sat down on the sofa, placing him in her lap. “I see you’ve met Joshua.”

Gabriel took that as his cue to sit beside her. “Yes, we’re getting to be good friends. Aren’t we, Josh?” In reply, Joshua grinned up at his grandfather.

What a shame you missed his first two years
, Grace thought. What a shame he had missed most of Justine’s life. Justine had been just as beautiful a child. “So, are you back in town for good, or just passing through?”

“My passing through days are over, Grace,” he said quietly, as if she had rebuked him. “I’m working as an adjunct professor at the city college.”

“That’s right. Justine said you were teaching again.”

“Just nights. During the days I work as a drug and alcohol abuse counselor.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Really.”

“You’re thinking, ‘Physician, heal thyself.’ I’ve been sober for ten years.”

It angered her that he assumed he still knew her well enough to guess her thoughts. It flustered her that he had guessed correctly. “I’m happy for you.”

“It wasn’t easy, but I made it.” He reached out and stroked Joshua’s head. “Not soon enough, I’m afraid. I missed out on so much.”

More than you’ll ever know
, Grace wanted to snap at him, but she was too angry to speak.

“I wish that I could make it up to you.” He rested his elbows on his knees, unable to meet her eyes. “I can’t say I know what you went through, but I can imagine. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Grace. For Justine. I wish things had been different. I can’t change them now, but I would if I could. I’m sorry.”

She watched him, speechless. Ever since he had come back into Justine’s life, Grace had hungered for his apology, but now that she had it, she felt empty.

Gabriel looked up, his eyes pleading. “I don’t expect you to forgive me, and I don’t expect to pick up where we left off—”

Grace laughed, once, loud and sharp. She hadn’t meant to, but it escaped before she could restrain it. Pain flickered in his eyes, and he turned away again. “I’m sorry,” Grace said. “But what you said was … unexpected.”

“All I meant was, I’d like to be a part of your life again. We have a history. We have a child and a grandchild. If you’re willing, I’d like us to be friends.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible,” Grace said, just as Helen called everyone in for supper. She picked up Joshua and carried him into the dining room without sparing Gabriel another glance.

Helen’s dining room wasn’t large, but somehow all forty-two members of the family, four generations from Mother, the eldest, to Joshua, the youngest child, crowded into the room. Justine came to Grace and took Joshua, giving her a questioning look that Grace pretended not to see. “Mother’s going to say the blessing,” Helen called out over the din of voices, which immediately quieted. The family members joined hands and bowed their heads as Mother began to speak.

Even in her anger, Grace enjoyed the meal. Helen was easily the best cook among them, and the others’ contributions were nearly as delicious. Gabriel spoke to Grace only once, to compliment her on the rolls. Grace thanked him but did nothing to prolong the conversation.

When the meal was nearly over, Mother suggested, as she did every year, that everyone at the table tell the others what they were especially thankful for that year. “I’ll begin,” she said. “I’m thankful that once again we’ve all gathered together to celebrate this special day. It does my heart good to have my whole family around me.” Then, with a quick glance at Grace, she added, “I’m also especially thankful that we all continue to enjoy good health, especially Grace.”

There were murmurs of assent, and Grace felt her face growing hot. Mother knew she wished to keep her illness secret from all but family. Had she forgotten Gabriel was there?

The others expressed similar sentiments, and she herself said something about the blessings of Justine and Joshua, but she was distracted, waiting with faint dread for what Gabriel would say. He didn’t disappoint. “I’m grateful to be alive,” he said, and received affirming nods in response. “I’m also deeply thankful that Grace and Justine have given me the opportunity to earn their forgiveness.”

Grace couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

After dessert, Gabriel caught her alone in the family room. “I meant what I said,” he said without preamble, in a quiet voice so no one would overhear. “Please give me a chance to earn your forgiveness. Don’t put this off. We don’t have a lot of time.”

She felt as if an electric shock had shot through her, freezing her to the marrow. She stared at him. “What did you say?”

He looked back at her, and this time she knew what he was thinking.

“You know, don’t you?”

He hesitated, then nodded.

Grace felt all the blood rush to her head. “I have to …” She struggled to stand, and brushed off Gabriel’s hands when he tried to assist. He knew. Justine had told him, Justine or someone else. “I have to go.”

“Grace …”

Blinded by tears, she stumbled into the hallway and fumbled in the closet for her coat and purse. She threw the coat over her shoulders and raced to her car, blocking out the alarmed voices calling after her, calling out her name. He knew. He knew, and she could not bear for him to know.

Adam was enjoying his Thanksgiving break so much that not even the stack of geometry tests that needed grading could dampen his spirits. On Thursday his family had gathered at his mom’s house for their annual feast, and he had spent the day eating, playing football in the backyard with his cousins and brothers, and watching games on television. Whenever she had been able to catch him alone, Nana had pestered him about Megan, and he teased her by refusing to answer her questions. He didn’t tell her about their email exchanges, which he had come to expect and anticipate every day, or the night they had dined out together, or their upcoming meeting on Saturday, when he, Megan, and Robby planned to have lunch and see a movie. Nana was so annoyed at him that she forbade him to have any of her apple pie, which she knew was his favorite, but at the end of the day she relented and sent him home with the two pieces that somehow had been left over.

The next day, Adam graded half of the tests and began writing his final exams, went to the gym, and worked around the house a bit, relaxing, but watching the clock in anticipation of the next day. He was tempted to call Megan, but not wanting to interrupt her holiday, he settled for sending her an email message telling her he was looking forward to seeing her and Robby. When he checked his email that evening, she had not yet responded. He was disappointed but told himself she was probably at her parents’, where she didn’t have access to a computer.

On Saturday, they met at noon in a restaurant in Monroe. Megan had offered to meet him halfway, as they had before, but Adam wanted to spare her the drive. Robby seemed delighted to see Adam again, but when Adam asked him about school, Robby withdrew. Quickly Adam dropped the subject and asked him about video games instead. His familiarity with some of the games, though only slight, pleased Robby greatly. “Mom doesn’t like video games,” Robby told him sorrowfully, and Megan laughed.

After the movie, Megan suggested they go to an orchard on the out-skirts of town for apple cider and cinnamon doughnuts. As they finished eating, Megan asked Robby to pick them a few apples to take home. When Robby ran off, Megan turned to Adam and said, “He seems to like you.”

“I like him.”

“Are you still interested in the arrangement we discussed earlier?”

Adam smiled at her sudden formality. “Of course.”

“It wouldn’t be a burden?”

“Not at all. In fact, it would give me an excuse to have some fun every once in a while.”

Megan smiled then, and Adam realized he had been waiting all day for her to smile at him alone. “Okay, then. We’ll see if Robby’s willing.”

When Robby returned with a basket full of apples, Adam asked him if he liked football. Robby winced and said, “Watching, not playing.”

“How come?”

Robby glanced at Megan before answering. “The other kids in my class are bigger than me, and I get crunched a lot. I like kicking, though. I’m good at that. And I don’t get tackled so much.”

“Really? How good are you?”

Proudly Robby recited his statistics, which were remarkably good for a kid his age. “I’d like to see that,” Adam said. “Would you show me? Maybe we could get together next weekend and practice.”

Robby looked pleased. “That would be fun.” He looked up at Megan. “Can we, Mom?”

“I have some things to do, but why don’t the two of you go?” She glanced at Adam. “If that’s all right with you?”

They arranged that next Saturday afternoon Adam would pick up Robby at Megan’s place and they would kick the football around at the local middle school for a few hours. Then, to Adam’s disappointment, Megan said it was time to go.

She paid for the apples, and as they walked to the parking lot, Megan allowed Robby to run ahead to the car. “Thank you,” she said, offering Adam her hand to shake. “I appreciate this.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Adam said, and meant it.

Megan rewarded him with another smile, and as she got into her car, she called out, “I’ll see you online.”