An Accidental Mom (7 page)

“He could
bleed
to death in a couple hours!” Max shouted. Hands fisted beside him, he said, “Where’s the nearest supply? I’ll drive there myself and get it, bring it back here!”

“Max,” Lily said, laying a hand on his forearm, “I’m O positive. I’ll give Nate whatever he needs.”

He looked at her, blinking as if she’d spoken in a foreign language. “You…you’d do that?”

How could he even ask such a question! “Of course I will.” She faced Prentice. “What’s the procedure? You have to draw some blood, test it—then what?”

The doctor patted her biceps and then headed down the hall. “Right this way,” he said, ushering her into an E.R. cubicle. “I’ll have a nurse get you started.”

Lily was about to follow the surgeon when Max grabbed her hand. “I…I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Have faith, Max—faith that everything is going to be all right,” she said, meaning it. “That’ll be thanks enough for me.”

Max was young when his father died—barely sixteen.

His dad had taught him how to parallel park, safely merge and change lanes on the Baltimore Beltway, but didn’t live to see his son get his driver’s license.

He’d taught Max how to catch a pop-up fly ball, how to keep score during a football game, how to bait a fishing hook. But there’d been countless other lessons he’d learned at his father’s knee, too. To defend himself against the schoolyard bully…without be
coming one himself. To behave like a gentleman, even if the girl he was with hadn’t earned it. To do his level best, no matter how menial or trivial the task.

And the most important lesson of all—to stand up to the responsibilities and obligations that went hand in hand with being a man.

He wanted to teach Nate those lessons, wanted to show his boy, by example, as his father had taught him, the fruits of hard work and determination.

Would he get that chance?

Or would
God,
in His so-called infinite wisdom, decide to take Nate, as He’d taken Max’s father, his brother, and in a roundabout way, Melissa.

Icy fear pricked at his soul, chilled him to the bone. Max shivered unconsciously. The very thought of losing Nate made his heart beat like a parade drum, made his pulse pound like a jackhammer.

He’d gladly gone to work every day, built a house in a safe Chicago suburb, where his kid could attend the best schools the state could offer. To accomplish all that, he’d had to give up his reckless bachelor ways—no more skydiving, no more river rafting. It hadn’t been a sacrifice. Quite the opposite! Max quickly adapted to fatherhood, and happily looked forward to every moment with his sweet-tempered little boy.

They’d developed quite a bond, Max and his boy.

To lose that now, to lose it
ever
…

Hands linked behind his back, Max paced the hallway outside Nate’s E.R. cubicle.
Pull yourself together, Sheridan. You’re useless to him this way.
Knuckling his eyes, he took a deep breath, then
pushed through the curtains. “Hey, bud,” he said, feigning bravery as he kissed his son’s forehead. “How you feelin’?”

Nate’s sleepy eyes fluttered open. “Better,” he rasped, one side of his mouth lifting in a weak grin.

He hated seeing his boy this way—connected to machines and tubes and bags of glucose and medication. If he could lie there in Nate’s place, he’d do it in a minute. Had there ever been a time when he’d been this afraid? If there had, Max couldn’t remember it.

“In no time at all, you’ll be better still.” Thanks in no small part to Lily, he admitted.

The boy’s lower lip trembled slightly. “I’m scared, Dad.”

Max eased his arms under the boy’s upper body, hugged him gingerly. “I know, pal, I know.” He kissed Nate’s temple. “But you’re gonna be okay.”

“Why does it hurt so bad, Dad?”

Slowly, he released Nate back onto the pillow. “I don’t know,” he said. “That’s what Dr. Prentice wants to find out.” He ruffled his son’s hair. “Any minute now, he’ll take you to the operating room, and before you know it—”

“Will you be in there with me?”

“No, that wouldn’t be safe.” He winked. “Germs, y’know.” He took Nate’s hand in his, stroked each small, dimpled finger. “I’ll be right outside, I promise.”

Dr. Prentice burst into the cubicle and announced, “We’ll get that patch put back on your li’l ol’ heart
in no time, kiddo.” He pinched Nate’s big toe, then added, “Can I borrow your dad for a minute?”

When the boy nodded, the doctor waved Max outside. He took several steps away from Nate’s bed before saying, “Your girlfriend is a champ.”

Girlfriend.
The word echoed in Max’s head for a second.

“She’s already given a pint of blood, and insisted on staying in there—” he threw a thumb over his shoulder to indicate the room down the hall “—until we’re sure Nate’s out of the woods.”

Max’s heart thumped with gratitude…and more. “‘Champ’ doesn’t even begin to describe her.” Then he added, “She’ll be okay, won’t she? I mean, she’s barely bigger than a minute herself.”

Dr. Prentice dropped a hand on Max’s shoulder. “Relax. She’s petite but strong as an ox.” He headed toward the O.R. at the opposite end of the hall. “You can go as far as those stainless-steel doors. There’s a nice waiting room right across the way. I’ll send a nurse to update you from time to time, and I’ll be out to talk to you as soon as we’re finished.”

The surgeon had already given Max a detailed explanation of what would happen once those stainless-steel doors closed. If all went well, he’d said, Nate would be in the recovery room in an hour—two, tops.

When he’d learned about the hole in his boy’s heart, Max thought the world would surely end; a four-year-old, enduring major surgery! Though the first operation had been a success, he’d always wondered when the other boot would drop, as his mom
was so fond of saying. Now it had. “It had better go well this time,” he said to himself.

Because if it didn’t…

Max couldn’t finish the thought. Life without Nate was simply unthinkable.

Lily held the velvety petals of a long-stemmed red rose to her cheek and, smiling, closed her eyes to inhale its delicate fragrance. This latest delivery had arrived shortly after breakfast, and now stood among other gifts she’d received in the week since Nate’s operation.

She tucked the flower into the cut-glass vase nestled among shiny brass pots and colorful ceramic containers overflowing with the deep-green leaves of English Ivy, philodendron, and dumb cane blended with assorted mini-palms, and vases of chrysanthemums that filled the window seat in her room. Rooting through empty brown-pleated wrappers in the bottom of the candy box that had come with the roses, she searched for a chocolate-covered cherry. Finding none, Lily settled for a chewy caramel.

Sitting cross-legged on the plush Persian rug blanketing the hardwood floor, she fingered the lovely bracelet glistening on her wrist. A series of
X
s and
O
s, each golden link caught and reflected the sun, flecking the carpet with sparks of amber and shards of bronze.

Every gift arrived by special courier, each messenger bearing a pastel-enveloped card. None of those preprinted verses for Max Sheridan! He preferred the
blank-inside kind, so he could spell out his sentiments in strong, bold pen strokes.

Lily read what had accompanied the bracelet: “Your friendship is more valuable to me than all the gold on earth,” he’d written. The one that came with the last box of candy said, “You are sweeter than any candy a confectioner could dream up.” Asked to choose her favorite, Lily would probably grow dizzy trying to decide!

She called after opening each gift, to thank him, to tell him how unnecessary the gifts were, but always got the answering machine instead of Max. Probably at the hospital, she’d told herself, keeping Nate company. Still, it hadn’t been easy, swallowing her disappointment. She missed him, more than she’d imagined it possible to miss another human being.

She thought of the way he’d held her, there in the hospital waiting room, of the way he had eased her into a gentle kiss. Nothing in the thousands of dreams she’d had over the years could begin to compare with the real thing. For the first time since they’d met, Lily felt at peace, felt as though the Lord had heard and answered her prayers. Because surely that loving, tender kiss was proof that Max felt more than mere friendship toward her.

Lily sighed moonily as something drew her back to the card she’d found among crisp sheets of green tissue in the box of roses: “Red, like the lifesaving blood you shared with Nate.” Her smile vanished like smoke as hot tears welled in her eyes. Why hadn’t she realized it before: The hug, the kiss, every one of these gifts had been inspired by gratitude, and
nothing more!

What a fool she’d been, reading more into his actions and his words than he’d intended. Hands trembling, she stuffed the card back into its pink envelope and tossed it onto the pile with other rainbow-hued cards and thanked God that she hadn’t been able to reach Max directly. Because wouldn’t she look like a silly little twit if she admitted her feelings, and put Max on the spot!

Wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands, she got to her feet and hurried to the barn. She’d encounter no heartbreaking realizations there, no dashed hopes or misguided conceptions. Just the natural appreciation that came when she fed a hungry baby bird or changed a horse’s soiled bandage. Her animals didn’t expect kindness or generosity. Though some had experienced the pain and horror of neglect or abuse, they’d learned the hard way that disappointment was the other side of the coin.

Over time, she’d taught them that the sound of water bubbling into a stainless-steel bucket meant a fresh drink, that the sight of her big red-plastic grain scoop meant a full feed bag. Wouldn’t hurt to take a lesson from
them
for a change, Lily told herself.

Long ago, she’d adopted a strict mind-set, and never allowed herself to deviate from it: Expect the worst; if it happens, you can say ‘I told you so!’, and if it doesn’t, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Missy trotted beside her from the house to the out-building, russet ears keeping time to every paw-beat. Lily crouched beside her, scritch-scratched the thick
neck fur. “Starting right now,” she said, kissing the bridge of Missy’s nose, “we go back to base zero.”

First, because Max had more than enough on his mind, with Nate and Georgia so soon out of the hospital, without having to worry or feel guilty about whatever harebrained idea she’d gleaned from his actions.

And second, she was tired of hoping and praying for something that, experience had taught her, simply wasn’t going to happen.

S
ince donating blood for Nate’s surgery, Lily hadn’t felt like her usual energetic self. But she’d promised to bake brownies for the church bazaar, and gave the pastor’s wife her word to man the “goodies booth” from noon ’til three.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Lily said stiffly.

“Mom wanted to come and she isn’t ready to go out on her own just yet.” Max put a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table. “She’s plenty ready for baking, though,” he said, smiling.

Of course you wouldn’t set foot in a church without being forced to!
Lily thought. “Where’s Nate?”

“Outside, on the playground.”

His furrowed brow told Lily she hadn’t done a very good job of hiding her feelings. Instinctively, she wanted to ease his discomfort.

“And Georgia?” She glanced around again.

He nodded toward the curtained stage in the church basement, where his mom and her beau sat, holding
hands as they chatted with friends. “Robert offered to bring her, but since Nate wanted to come, too, I didn’t see any point making the man go out of his way.”

“Robert, eh?” She quirked an eyebrow. “Things are pretty cozy between them, I take it.”

Max shrugged. “I expect to hear any day now that the ol’ boy has popped the question.” He punctuated the statement with a ragged sigh.

Frowning, Lily clucked her tongue. “You make it sound like he’s about to be escorted to a prison camp!”

“Well, he’s been footloose and fancy-free for a couple of decades.” Another shrug. “Guess the ‘grass is greener’ adage fits.”

She crossed both arms over her chest. “Oh, really. And why is that?”

“He thinks married life will be better than bachelorhood.” Max chuckled bitterly. “I thought so, too…a lifetime ago. If I had an ounce of decency in me, I’d take him aside, tell him some stories that’d make him think twice.”

Lily lifted her chin a notch. “If I know your mom, she’ll spoil him rotten,” she snapped. Just because Max’s experience with marriage had been miserable didn’t mean every married man would end up miserable. But what did she care about his opinion on husbands and wives and matrimony?

“There’s my dad and Nadine,” she said, pointing. “Think I’ll go over and say hi.”

Max wiggled his eyebrows and said from the cor
ner of his mouth, “Speaking of cozy couples, the pair of them look mighty cozy themselves.”

They did, at that—she had to agree. All right, so maybe they were in love. Last she heard, there was no law against a widower and a widow linking up romantically. Especially when the couple in question had been neighbors for decades…had become close friends after sharing the pain of losing their spouses.

Narrowing her eyes, she glared at him. “
Some
people believe in happy endings. Just because you have no faith doesn’t mean everyone else—”

Brows raised, he held up both hands. “Whoa,” he drawled, laughing uneasily, “easy there, li’l lady. Didn’t mean to rile you.” He looked apprehensive. “Are you angry with me for some reason? You haven’t exactly been your warm, cheery self.”

Shaking her head, Lily looked at the ceiling. She’d promised herself not to behave like a starry-eyed teenybopper if she ever saw Max again…and had intended to avoid him whenever possible. So much for that! But she knew Max didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of her short temper. He had enough to contend with.

Simulating a mischievous grin, Lily said, “It’d take a lot more than the likes of you to rile me. Sorry if I’ve been biting your head off. It’s just been one of those days.” Then she winked and spun on her heel and left him standing alone near the enormous stainless-steel coffee urn.

From here on out, she’d have to be a lot more careful, she decided, heading for her dad’s table. If Max got wind of her true feelings…

“Hey, cutie,” Lamont’s date said as she patted his shoulder. “Look who’s here!” Nadine reached for Lily’s hand. “Haven’t seen you since Cammi’s wedding. My, but you look pretty in that color.”

She’d chosen the ruby-red sheath, hoping it would brighten her mood. It had not. No matter how colorful, clothing couldn’t hide the fact that Max’s interest was rooted in gratitude and friendship, and that’s all it ever would be. She bent to kiss Nadine’s cheek. “How are you?”

She flicked a quick, flirty glance at Lamont. “Never better.” Then, blue eyes on Lily, Nadine tucked a blond curl behind her ear. “And how’re
you,
darlin’?”

“Great.” But she wasn’t. Night after night of never-come-true dreams involving Max had made her weary…and brokenhearted. Lily knew exactly what the problem was: she hadn’t taken her own good advice and put the matter at the foot of the Cross. Not really, anyway. Starting now, she’d try harder to do just that.

Lily stood behind her dad and patted his shoulders. “So, what’re you two up to?” she asked, popping a kiss to the top of his gray-haired head.

He turned to face her. “Up to our Adam’s apples in artery-cloggin’ food,” Lamont joked, pointing at his plate. “Do yourself a favor and grab a slice of Nadine’s coconut pie, ’cause it’s goin’ fast.”

“So much has been going on, I haven’t had a chance to ask, how was Abilene?”

Lamont told her about the hearty young bulls he’d bought there, using his hands and animated expres
sions to highlight the story. He’d always been a handsome man—tall, broad-shouldered and barrel-chested, with brawny arms and manly hands that belied the thick fringe of dark lashes surrounding his big gray eyes. When he looked at Nadine, those eyes sparkled and he smiled like he meant it. He’d known her since her now-deceased husband had bought the land beside River Valley Ranch, and over the years, they’d become friends. It was obvious something else had come from that friendship, and that “something else” made Lamont look much younger than his fifty-five years.

Ten years younger and happier than she’d seen him in decades.
If that’s what love can do,
she thought,
maybe Cammi’s right.
Maybe she should give up this Max Sheridan dream and find a guy who could return her feelings.

“Oh, by the way,” Nadine was saying, “Elmer says hi.”

Lily grinned, remembering that a few months ago, she’d nursed the woman’s orphaned calf back to health. “I’ve really enjoyed having him follow me around the ranch, but I hope I didn’t ruin him for you like a puppy. He must be huge by now.”

“Already twice the size he was when you sent him home. You were wonderful with him, darlin’. I thought sure I’d have to put him down before he mourned himself to death. You’re a lifesaver!”

“Lifesaver? I thought her nickname was Snow White,” Max chimed in.

When had
he
walked up? And how long had he been standing there?

“Actually, ‘lifesaver’
is
more accurate.”

Lily tried to ignore the heat in her cheeks, hoped he wouldn’t tell them—

“Did she tell you she saved Nate’s life?”

Groaning inwardly, Lily held her breath.

Lamont and Nadine exchanged puzzled glances. “I’d heard your boy had a heart problem….” Lamont said to Max.

“But how did Lily save him?” Nadine finished.

“I didn’t save him,” she insisted. “Dr. Prentice did.”

Max harrumphed. “After Nate was out of danger, the doc told me in plain English that if it hadn’t been for you, stepping in when you did, he—”

Lily waved his comment away. “Nurses and doctors donate blood all the time. They’d have found someone else.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. But none of them was wearing a pretty blue bridesmaid gown—”

“Maid of honor,” Nadine corrected with a playful wink.

“None of them was wearing a maid of honor gown, or those pointy-toed, high-heeled matching shoes.”

She didn’t know what her outfit had to do with anything, but she knew this: Max had an enormous capacity for love and he had proved it that night when he came into the E.R. cubicle to hold her hand while Nate was being prepped for the O.R. He had noticed how cold her hands were and had hunted down a nurse to get a blanket. Such a big heart!

So why couldn’t he find room in it for God?

“It was no big deal,” she said. “I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

“Uh-huh.” He turned to Lamont and Nadine. “The patch they’d put on Nate’s heart had worked its way loose, see, and he was bleeding internally. Hemorrhaging is more like it. I’m not a match, and the hospital had some kind of emergency that made them run out of his blood type.” He looked at Lily, a sweet, lopsided grin on his face. “She volunteered to give him as much as he needed, right then and there.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Lamont said. “My girl has a heart as big as her head.” He sandwiched her hand between his own. “No wonder you’ve been lookin’ a mite pasty-faced these past couple of days. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Because you’d have made a big fuss,
she thought. “Really, it was no big deal.”

“Well, it was a big deal for us,” Georgia said.

Lily had barely had time to adjust to Georgia’s presence when her boyfriend added, “You’re the Sheridan family hero, girl!”

“Dr. Prentice says you saved my life,” Nate put in.

Why hadn’t she noticed that they’d joined the group?

She’d never been comfortable with compliments, whether about her work, her face and figure, or her so-called good deeds. Lily wanted to bolt from the church basement, go straight home and hide in the barn, where she could do what needed doing and not have to deal with this awkwardness. In their own way, her animals appreciated what she did, too. The dif
ference was, they accepted her nurturing quietly and without question—and didn’t embarrass her with a lot of unnecessary thank-yous afterward.

“I’m glad you like the bracelet,” Nate said, touching his small forefinger to a golden
X.
“I helped Dad pick it out.”

Pride beamed from his big brown eyes, making Lily want to hug him.

So she did.

“I love the bracelet. Haven’t taken it off since it was delivered last week.” She held him at arm’s length to say, “But how did you help your dad pick it out? You were so sick in the hospital!”

“There was a picture of it,” the boy said, “in a magazine one of the nurses brought me. I showed it to Dad, and he said, ‘
X
s for kisses and
O
s for hugs. Perfect for Lily.’”

Lily met Max’s eyes. Kisses and hugs. Did he mean…?

He nodded in response, telling her with those big brown eyes of his that Nate might have pointed it out, but
he
wanted her to wear it. Unconsciously, she wrapped her hand around the bracelet, stomach fluttering, her heart clenching. Dare she hope he felt some of what she felt?

Stop it!
she scolded herself.
Remember your promise.

She stood quickly. “Well, I’d really better be going. I haven’t fed the animals yet, and I’m sure they’re kicking up a fuss.”

“The animals? Oh, Lily! Could I come over and
watch you feed them? I won’t make any noise or touch anything, I promise. I’ll be like a statue.”

To prove it, Nathan stood, stone-still, and stared straight ahead, reminding Lily of the stiff-backed soldiers in the
Nutcracker
ballet. She’d like nothing more, and would have said so, but didn’t want to risk a misunderstanding like the one she and Max had had the night she found Missy.

The boy faced his father, folded his hands as if in prayer, and in a soft, sweet voice said, “Can I, Dad? Please? If you’ll take me, you can give me a chore, any chore, and I promise to do it without complaining.”

“C’mon, Max,” Georgia said, “take him to Lily’s. He’d have a ball!”

“Yes,” Nadine agreed, rumpling his hair, “let the kid go, Max.”

Max continued to gaze into Lily’s eyes, one corner of his mouth twitching slightly. Lily didn’t know if he intended to lash out at the lot of them, as he had that night on the phone, or say yes. She was about to say something along the lines of
This isn’t a good time, but maybe another day,
when Max’s mouth broadened in a rascally grin.

“Do you have time for gawkers and interlopers?”

Lily looked from his dark eyes to his son’s, and sighed. “No, I don’t,” she began, matching his grin, “but I have time for you and Nate.” She had a lifetime, in fact.

Nate jumped up and down, clapping his hands and yelling “Yippee!” as Georgia and Nadine made the “shush” sign with fingers to their lips.

“I’d say let’s all go in my car,” Max said. “But how would you get yours home?”

She had opened her mouth to say
Let’s meet at the barn,
when Nadine pulled Nate into a grandmotherly hug. “I rode over here with your dad,” she told Lily. “Have to go back to River Valley to get my car, anyway, so I can drive your car.”

She winked at Lily. Winked! What if Max thought it was a sign that they’d succeeded in pulling off a well-planned plot to get her and Max together?

She chanced a glance at him. If he suspected anything of the kind, it didn’t show on his face. He stood, feet shoulder width apart and hands in his pockets, waiting for her to make a decision: drive home in her car, or ride over with him and Nate.

Lily dug her car keys out of her purse, handed them to Nadine. “Thanks, Nadine,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t regret her choice.

“Only too happy to help out.” Another playful wink at Lily before turning back to Lamont. “Well, handsome, you ready to hit the road, or do you want me to fetch you another slab of pie?”

Blushing, Lily’s dad grinned and patted his stomach. “Couldn’t eat another bite.”

“Follow me, then,” she said, crooking her finger and wiggling her eyebrows.

Grinning like a schoolboy, he got to his feet. “I’m right behind you.” Eyes on his prize, he added offhandedly, “See you at home, Lil.”

It was so
good,
seeing him this happy! After Rose died, he’d sacrificed his whole life for his daughters;
if this woman could make him happy, Lily was all for it.

It seemed odd that romance was blooming all around her—Georgia had Robert, newlyweds Cammi and Reid had only recently returned from their honeymoon, even her father had found his match with the widow who lived next door. She didn’t begrudge any of them their joy. Quite the opposite! It was just…why couldn’t
she
have a slice of that kind of happiness?