An Accidental Mom (11 page)

Did he
want
to?

He ate another chunk of cake. Yeah, he did.

Those kisses on the porch echoed in his memory again. She was like no woman he’d ever met. Honest and straightforward, hardworking, with—how had Lamont put it again?—a heart as big as her head.

With a heart like that, she could put up with any nonsense he and Nate might dish out. But what about
her?
What could he and Nate offer Lily?

That’s what he needed to ask. It was only fair, after all, to force her to peek over the legendary “fence,” see that the grass might not be as green as it seemed, especially considering she’d been looking over there since junior high.

Did he love Lily?

Yeah, big time.

Was he
in love
with her?

Definitely. No doubt about it.

Enough to spend the rest of his life with her?

The question echoed in his mind, a moment, another…

Enough to spend the rest of my life with her?

That welcome-home kitchen scene he’d conjured earlier flashed in his head—beautiful, loving Lily at the stove, singing a tune under her breath, telling him “I’ve made your favorite.”

Suddenly, the fantasy grew. Two more kids in the kitchen with Nate, laughing, running in circles around a high chair, where a baby squealed with delight, banging a big wooden spoon on the tray. In this version, Lily’s stomach was swollen with child…
his
child. She wanted to name this one after his dad, if it was a boy. It’s only fair, she was saying, since he’d let her name the last one Rose, for her mom.

It didn’t have to be an illusion. It could be every bit as real as the cake crumbs on the plate in his hands.

Did he want that?

Max stood. Like his son, he’d take the plate to the kitchen, to spare Lily having to come fetch it. He saw her the minute he stepped into the family-crowded, brightly lit room, bent at the waist to wipe cake crumbs from Nate’s mouth. She took the boy’s face in both hands and rubbed her nose against his, then kissed his forehead. And the kid responded by wrapping his arms around her waist.

Yeah, he wanted that. Wanted
her,
more than anything.

Lessons his dad had taught him rang in Max’s head. A man can’t take his happiness at the expense of others. Do what’s right, even if it hurts.
Earn
what you want.

That last bit of advice reverberated. Max nodded, realizing
that
had been the missing puzzle piece. Lily had loved him for what seemed like forever, but what had he done to earn it?

Nothing.

All the more reason to love her, because she’d
handed over her heart, and would hand over her life if he asked her to, without so much as a hint of “what’s in it for me?”

Well, there ought to be something in it for her.
Had
to be something for her.

He’d make a point of spending more time with her, let her get to know the
real
Max Sheridan—not the one she’d been looking at all these years over that legendary “fence.”

Scary concept, he thought, because what if Lily discovered he wasn’t anything like the Max she’d fantasized about since girlhood?

It was a risk he had to take, for her sake.

And if things worked out as he hoped they would, it was how he’d earn her love.

L
ily loved spending time with Max and Nate. They’d been together a lot lately. Twice, sometimes three times a week, they’d drop by to watch her feed the animals. Nate warmed to the monkeys, and they to him, so she allowed him to feed them fruit and vegetables. She found herself drawn to Georgia’s Diner, too, and not for the food!

Now, she sat at the counter while Max whistled off-key, flipping burgers as Andy watched over him like a mother hen. Did he like helping out in the diner as his mom recuperated? Or would he rather be back in Chicago, rubbing elbows with rich, powerful clients at the accounting firm?

It wasn’t the first time the questions had come to mind, but things always seemed to prevent her asking them. Things like…did the Windy City remind him of his marriage to Melissa, her suicide?

Lily might have asked him now, if the phone hadn’t rung.

His peaceful expression turned stony and stern when he recognized the caller’s voice. His tense tone told her the conversation wasn’t going well; the abrupt way he hung up meant the news hadn’t been good.

He slapped a hand to the back of his neck and kept his back to her for a moment. She heard his heavy sigh, saw his shoulders sag. “Max,” she said quietly, “what’s wrong?”

He turned slightly, but not enough so that she could see his face. “Nothing.” Then he added, “Everything.”

When he faced her, it seemed he’d aged ten years, right before her eyes. She wanted to comfort him, to ease his mind. But a hug didn’t seem the medicine he needed right now.

She patted the stool beside her. “C’mere, tell Lily all about it.”

For a second there, it looked like he might decline. But soon he was beside her, both elbows leaning on the red-speckled Formica counter. “I’ve been gone too long,” he said, his voice a gruff whisper. “It’s time to go back.”

Lily’s heart ached, just thinking of him being so far away. But hearing that would only add to his stress, so she laid a hand on his forearm.

“I took a leave of absence when Mom broke her leg. Extended it when she had the operation.” He heaved a deep breath. “Truth is, I’ve stayed far longer than she needed me to. She’s been up and around for weeks, now.”

“Well, maybe she could handle the cash register, but that’s about it.”

Feeble excuse to keep him here? Lily asked herself. Probably, but if feeble was all she had, she’d use it.

“The other partners are demanding a decision. Soon.”

She studied the lines of his strong, masculine profile, and it pained her to see the worry lines beside his mouth, beside his eyes. What had put them there? Dread at the thought of going back…or the thought of staying in Amarillo forever? Lily swallowed hard, terrified of the answer. “How soon?”

He folded his hands on the counter. “They want an answer by the end of the week.”

“Saturday? That’s awfully fast.”

“I wish.” He blew a silent whistle. “End of the
business
week.” He looked into her eyes. “Tomorrow,” he said, and stared straight ahead.

He may as well have said “The End.” These few months had been the happiest of her life because Max had been a part of them.

Lily wished she knew what he needed to hear, what he needed her to do right now. Telling him to stay for her sake was out of the question, because this was a guy who’d forced down who knows how many slices of Dutch apple pie rather than hurt his mother’s feelings. It would be just like him to quit the firm if she told him the truth—that it would break her heart if he went back to Chicago.

She wouldn’t ask that of him. No, if he decided to make Amarillo his home again, it would have to be because
Max
wanted it—not to spare someone’s feel
ings, not to please someone else, but for reasons of his very own.

“Do you…do you have any idea what you’ll decide?”

“It’s good money. No,
great
money. Nate could go to any college in the world. And the house…it’s huge, with a big back yard and a swing set, and a place where he can ride his bike…”

Like her own father, Max was prepared to sacrifice, to suffer for his child. She admired that. Respected it. But she was living proof that no amount of money can buy happiness; she would much rather have seen her dad happy and at peace, than have had all the luxuries his money provided. And she told Max so.

“Nate’s a great kid. He’ll be happy if you’re happy,” she said.

Max nodded. “Part of me knows that, of course. And part of me feels he should never have to want for anything.”

Customers’ forks clinked against their plates as their quiet banter echoed through the diner. The dishwasher clanged pots and pans against the deep stainless-steel sink while Andy’s spatula scraped against the grill. It had never been clearer: Life goes on, no matter what.
Oh, Lord,
she prayed,
use me now to bring Max back to You.

“You’ll make the right decision,” she said, patting his arm.

He swung to face her. “You’re that sure of me, are you?”

Lily read the smile in his eyes. Instinct made her comb through the hair behind his temple, then slide
her fingertips across his manly jaw. “Yes, I’m that sure of you.”

If he could read her heart, he’d know how far from the truth her answer had been. How could he even consider making a life-altering decision like this without consulting the Almighty!

“Have faith, Max,” she blurted. “It’ll take you much farther than worry.”

His expression turned hard again. “Faith. Don’t make me laugh. Name me one reason I should believe in
that.
”

“It pulled you through after Melissa’s suicide. Got you through Nate’s illness and your mom’s surgery.”

“Faith had nothing to do with it,” he insisted. Jabbing a thumb into his chest, Max added, “
I
got me through. God had nothing to do with it…as usual.”

The way he tacked on the qualifier reminded Lily he’d once believed—strongly enough to ask God’s help, to hope for miracles. “God can’t control human beings. I’m sure He wishes He could, but He gave us free will. The best He can hope is we’ll make the choices He’d make for us…if He
were
in control of us.”

“Oh, don’t give me that Bible-thumping, Sunday-go-to-meeting nonsense. I’d have better luck playing with an eight ball than I’d have with prayer.”

Obviously, this was neither the time nor the place to try to change his mind about God. But something had better change it, because as much as she loved him, Lily couldn’t envision herself spending decades defending her faith! “You have so much to be grateful for!” Lily said, sliding off the stool. “I’d say
‘count your blessings’ if it didn’t sound so trite.” She grabbed her purse.
I’d say you’re acting like a spoiled, immature boy, too
—if she didn’t think it would add fuel to his fire.

He looked miserable. But then, why wouldn’t he? Max had convinced himself he was on his own, that there was no one he could turn to at times like these. Stubborn as he was, determined as he seemed to be to hold tight to his “If God exists, He doesn’t care” mind-set, she loved him. Lily stood behind him, gave him a little hug and kissed the back of his neck. Lips beside his ear, she whispered, “Count your blessings, Max. You might be surprised how much God has given you.”

Lily didn’t give him a chance to argue the point. She was turning out of the parking lot when she wondered if he’d take her advice.

And if he did, would
she
be one of his blessings?

“I’ve got good news.”

Lily sat on a hay bale and patted the space beside her. “It must be great news, sister dear, the way you’re huffing and puffing.”

Cammi sat beside her, biting her bottom lip. “I’ve just been to see Dr. Anderson,” she said, and covered her mouth with both hands, trembling with excitement as she waited for Lily to say…

“Dr. Anderson…isn’t he an obstetrician?”

Cammi hid behind her hands, peeked between two fingers.

“A baby?” Lily hugged her. “You and Reid are going to have a baby?”

“Isn’t it wonderful?”

After Max’s news a few hours earlier, it was more than wonderful. “I’ll say.” Lily held Cammi at arm’s length. “When’s the big day?”

“Fourth of July.”

“Wow. Talk about a patriotic couple.”

“Reid doesn’t even know yet. You’re so good with ideas, I thought I’d see what you’d come up with—some way I could surprise him.”

“I’m flattered to be the first to know,” Lily said. She furrowed her brow. “Hmmm…well, you could always wait for the annual pyrotechnics display out at Lake Meredith, tell him during the finale that there’s a little firecracker on the way.”

“Oh, Lily. Now you’re just being silly. Really. Help me come up with something spectacular, something he’ll never forget.”

She pretended to be insulted. “If he doesn’t think a fireworks display is spectacular, maybe I’m wrong,” she teased. “Maybe Reid isn’t so patriotic, after all.”

“I was thinking dinner by candlelight, in the living room, in front of the fireplace. Soft music. A special meal. His favorite dessert.” She clapped her hands. “What do you think?”

Cammi positively
glowed
with happy radiance, so much so that it warmed Lily’s heart, too. For the moment, she forgot about the possibility that Max might move back to Chicago, that she might never see him again.

“What do I think? I think you wasted your time
coming over here to get my ideas. Sounds like you cooked up the perfect evening all by yourself.”

Cammi nodded. “Then, it’s settled. I’ll go to the grocery store on my way back to the Rockin’ C.”

“Guess the
C
can stand for ‘cradle’ now, eh?”

Cammi giggled.

“What
does
that
C
stand for, anyway?”

“Reid inherited the ranch from his adoptive parents, Billy and Martina. He told me once that Billy named the place after an old army buddy, Calvin. He was a rock and roll musician before he joined up. See, Cal loaned him the money for the down payment.”

“Rockin’ C. Now I
see,
” Lily said, laughing.

Cammi frowned suddenly.

“What? A pain? You okay?”

“’Course I am. Are
you
okay? You look like you just lost your best friend.”

“Man. Talk about hitting the old nail on the head.”

“Uh-oh. This is Max-related, isn’t it.”

Lily nodded.

Cammi got to her feet and held out her hand. “Let’s go up to the house and talk about it over a cup of tea.”

Over teacups and chocolate chip cookies, Lily filled Cammi in on the state of her relationship with Max. “…and now he isn’t sure if he should go or stay.”

“I remember how awful it was for me when Reid left town to re-up with the rodeo. I feel for ya, kid, honest I do.”

“I’ve always wondered—if you hadn’t followed him, do you think you’d be together today?”

“Nope. He’s more stubborn than those bulls he
used to ride. He probably would have sentenced us both to life apart rather than admit how he felt.”

Lily sighed. “What is it about men? What’s so hard about those three little words?”

Cammi grinned. “Have
you
said ‘I love you’?”

She flicked a cookie crumb onto the floor. “Well, no. I haven’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because…because what if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he says—” Lily assumed the deepest voice she could muster “—‘Sorry, Lil ol’ girl, I think you’re a great kid and all that, but…’” She rolled her eyes. “I’d just about die!”

“Have you ever considered that maybe he feels the same way?”

Lily stared into Cammi’s bright eyes. “No. Guess I haven’t. But how frustrating is
that?
I mean, how are two people supposed to get together if they’re both scared stiff of admitting their feelings!”

“They get together,” Cammi said, “because one of them thinks it’s worth risking rejection in the hope he or she will hear those three magic words echoed right back at them.”

Lily took a sip of tea, then grinned. “I can’t wait ’til I’m as old and wise as you.”

“Neither can I,” Cammi teased. She got up and grabbed her purse from where she’d hung it on the chair back. “Well, I’m off to the store.” She checked items off an imaginary list, written on her palm. “One romantic evening, one joyful husband, one spectacular celebration…”

Walking beside her to the back door, Lily added, “Can’t wait ’til I’m as happy as you are, either.”

Cammi hugged her tight. “Aw, Lil…that day will come. I know it will. Where’s your faith?”

Lily waved as her sister headed toward her car. Ironic, she thought, that Cammi would pose that particular question. Especially considering the lecture she’d laid on Max a few hours earlier.

“‘Judge not lest ye be judged,’” she quoted, because Cammi was right. If she believed things would work out between her and Max, they would.

Right?

Common sense prevailed: They’d work out if God saw it as part of His plan.

Let it be part of Your plan!
Lily prayed.

“Hardly seems fair,” Georgia said when Max broke the news to her that day. “I mean, you’re not taking more than your share of the profits, right?”

Max shook his head. “No, but the partners have had to divide my clients among them. They want full percentages if things are going to stay this way.”

“What did you tell them?”

“The truth,” he said.

“Which is?”

“I don’t know.”

His mother sighed. “Seems a shame for you to go back to that rat race. You’ve seemed so calm and rested here.” She glanced over at her grandson, who was filling a paint-by-numbers canvas with primary colors as Robert looked on. “And Nate took to Amarillo like a born Texan!”

“I know, I know.”

She waved Robert over. “Well, here’s something that might make your decision a little easier.” Once her fiancé joined her in the booth, Georgia said, “We’ve decided to retire after we get married.”

That surprised Max, and he said so.

“There’s a big wide wonderful world out there,” his future stepfather said, “and we’ve both worked so hard, we’ve only seen a small slice of it. And we want to see it, together.”