Amelia's Journey (14 page)

Andrew Farnsworth courted Mary Beth, and Papa had pointed out what a well-made match they would be and he hoped that Amelia would do as well. To her mind the fact that Andrew and Mary Beth actually loved each other made it a good match, not Andrew's family's position. Amelia wanted the same kind of love in her own life, and she would have it with Ben.

After breakfast was finished, Amelia accompanied Grace Ann and Billy up to Billy's room. “This was once our playroom. Mama had all our toys stored away when Amanda and I got older, but I know where she put them.”

Grace Ann knit her brows and surveyed the room. “This was just a playroom? You and Amanda didn't sleep here?”

“Not after we were older. When we were babies, this was the nursery. We had two cribs in here for us and then smaller beds for later. When we started school, we were given our own bedroom, and this became a playroom.”

Amazement filled the girl's face. “It's so big. I share a room with Mary Beth at home, and we keep everything there, including all my toys.”

“And I have to sleep with Gideon and Ben, but I think Ben's going to move out to the bunkhouse so Gideon and I'll have more room.”

Amelia gulped. It never occurred to her that the children would be impressed with a playroom. Then she remembered their grandparents' house no longer had a playroom, and when Billy and Grace Ann came for a visit, they still had to share a room with their siblings. “I'm sure you would rather have them with you instead of sleeping alone at the ranch.”

“Nope, not me. I'm a big boy, and I like having my own room here even if I do miss Ma and Pa.”

“Then let's see what we can find to play with this morning.” She went to the storage closet and pulled out several boxes. One toy box was filled with things to keep the two young ones occupied until their parents arrived.

“Here's a set of building blocks for you, Billy. I bet you could build a house just like your ranch house with those.” She opened a set of wooden blocks that had been sanded smooth and cut into different shapes and sizes.

Billy grabbed them up and headed for a corner. Amelia pulled out two dolls that were lying on top. “Do you still play with dolls, Grace Ann?” At twelve, Amelia had still loved them, but Grace Ann may feel too old for them.

“Sometimes, but I'd rather have books if you have some.”

“I certainly do. Look on those shelves over there and see if you can find anything you like.” All of Amelia's favorites were there, including Bronte, Alcott, and Dickens. Although she kept busy the rest of the morning reading with Grace Ann and exclaiming over the structures Billy built, the hours until the rest of the Haynes family arrived crept by.

When Maeleen stopped in to inform them that it was time to dress for dinner, Amelia clapped her hands. “Let's get these things put away. Those wonderful smells coming from the kitchen have given me a real appetite.”

The children scrambled to get the books, blocks, and other toys put away, and Amelia counted the minutes now until she could again be with Ben.

The horses clip-clopped along much too slowly for Ben, and his patience wore thin. However, if he complained, Gideon or Mary Beth would make some comment about seeing Amelia. It was best to keep quiet rather than start a conversation about his love life. He envied his brother and sister who had the pleasure of staying at the Carlyle home.

Amelia would be good with them and keep the two occupied with things to do. He would thank Mrs. Carlyle for her generosity because it had given his mother and Clara much more time to tend to Grandpapa's needs.

Pa had voiced his concern over Grandpapa's illness and said the visit may take longer than they first expected. Pa's two brothers were with their wives' families today, but all of the Haynes would be together tomorrow. Ben looked forward to seeing his cousins, but he anticipated seeing Amelia today far more.

After only fifteen minutes that may have well have been fifteen hours to Ben, the carriage stopped in front of the Carlyle home. The driver jumped down and opened the door to assist Mary Beth in stepping down. Ben followed Gideon and hurried up the steps and through the door the Carlyle butler held open for them.

Warm air as well as tantalizing aromas of pumpkin spice and roasting turkey filled the room, welcoming them into the house. Billy and Grace Ann ran down the stairs and into Pa's arms. He lifted Billy in one arm and hugged Grace Ann with the other.

Ben's gaze went right to Amelia, who descended the steps much more sedately than his two siblings had. Her parents greeted them, but Ben didn't hear a word. His eyes locked with Amelia's and stayed there until she reached the foyer and greeted Mary Beth. He furrowed his brow and stepped back. She hadn't come to him first.

When she finally spoke to him, her lip trembled. “I must speak with you later…to explain why I didn't write in the last few weeks.”

The lines on her forehead and around her mouth didn't bode well for him. He simply nodded then followed the family into the parlor where they all sat down. Billy and Grace Ann grabbed their mother's attention and went on about what they'd been doing. Ben kept his attention on Amelia.

Whenever she happened to glance his way, heat flushed her cheeks, and she smiled before ducking her head away from him. Scenarios and questions raced through his mind faster than cattle in a stampede. None of them fit what he'd hoped may happen, and acid climbed to his throat.

They finally went in to dinner, but he found himself across and down the table from Amelia, who sat next to her father, too far away for conversation. Had that been her request or her father's? Mr. Carlyle had not been cordial in greeting Ben. His hands now grew moist, and he clasped them together in his lap while Mr. Carlyle asked the blessing.

Mrs. Carlyle sat to his right at the opposite end of the table from her husband and next to his mother, who dined across from Ben. She smiled at him and placed a napkin in her lap. “I'm glad your family could join us today. I know your grandmama and Clara appreciate the time they have together without so much interruption.”

She glanced down the table to where Amelia bent her head toward Grace Ann. “You will have time to speak with Amelia later today. She has much to tell you.”

Before Ben could respond, Mrs. Carlyle turned and began a conversation with his mother. He placed food on his plate, but he paid no attention to what he ate. It all tasted the same.

Gideon leaned toward Ben. “Amelia sure looks pretty today. Too bad you're not sitting by her.”

Ben said nothing but glared for a moment at his brother. Ben would rather be sitting by her too, but he didn't care to talk about it. He didn't want to talk to anyone but Amelia. Then he realized the selfishness in that desire and turned to talk to Gideon in a more pleasant fashion.

After dinner Pa and Mr. Carlyle went into his study, and Ma followed Mrs. Carlyle to the parlor. Amelia grabbed Ben and Mary Beth's hands. “Let's go into the library.”

Maeleen took over Billy and Grace Ann and led them up the stairs to their rooms. He hoped the young woman would let them play because neither of them would want to take a nap, but at least they wouldn't be underfoot.

Amelia paced the floor by the window looking out over the snow-filled yard. So much Ben wanted to say to her, but he sensed her need to get her words in first. He sat on the sofa near the fireplace and waited. If Mary Beth hadn't been in the room, he would have stopped Amelia's pacing and held her in his arms.

Finally she stopped and sat beside him. Her nearness sent his heart galloping, and the fresh scent of lavender filled his nostrils. It must be her favorite because he remembered it from last time.

Amelia cleared her throat, but her first words still squeaked. “Ben, I have something…oh, dear.” She cleared her throat again. “I must explain why I didn't answer your last two letters.” She nodded toward Mary Beth. “She knows all about this but promised not to say anything until I could speak with you.”

She twisted her hands in her lap, and fear rose like a wave of despair in Ben's chest. He braced himself against what may come next although he wanted to get up and run away from what she would say.

“Ben, Papa is against our relationship. He says we must only be friends.”

Relief replaced despair, and he smiled. He'd expected that much from Mr. Carlyle. “That doesn't surprise me, Amelia. It will take time for him to see how we care about each other.” He paused and peered at her. “You do still care about me, don't you?”

She grabbed his hands. “Oh, yes, Ben, I do care, even more than before.”

He held her hand to his lips. “Then we must be very patient and not anger your father. If we respect his wishes for now, in time he will come to see that we love each other.”

Tears moistened her eyes. “Oh, Ben, I pray that will happen, but Papa can be so stubborn.”

“So can mine, but if God ordains us to be together, then He will work out the details and make it happen. You have to believe that.” He must be strong for her and give her hope when his own faith weakened at the thought of winning Mr. Carlyle's favor.

“I want to believe it. I'll keep praying and being obedient to Papa.”

“That's all you can do, and I'll keep praying too.” No prayer he'd ever sent up before would be as fervent and full of plea as the ones in the next few months and beyond.

Lenora led Elizabeth into the parlor where they could talk without interruption. She searched her brain for the correct way to present her dilemma to her friend. Ben was Elizabeth's son, and certainly she had to be proud of what he had accomplished in life thus far. Lenora didn't want to hurt any feelings or make it sound like Amelia was too good for Benjamin.

Elizabeth placed her hand on Lenora's arm. “I can see something is troubling you. You still crinkle your forehead when you're worried about something.”

Lenora let her breath out in a gasp, not even aware she'd been holding it until this moment. “I never could hide anything from you.” She twisted her hands in her lap. “It's about our children, Amelia and Benjamin.”

“I thought so. Ben claims to be in love with her, but I fear they don't really know each other.”

“Amelia is the same. I get the impression she thinks she can just up and go to Kansas and start living on a ranch without any problems. She can be quite the stubborn one when she sets her mind on something.”

“So can Ben, but he knows life can be hard on the ranch. He's seen us deal with diseases in the herd, harsh winters, and lean years when we have to be careful about spending. He's thinking ahead to a piece of land and a house. But I'm afraid he's not considering the situation from every angle.”

She gave Lenora a sympathetic look that opened the door for her to confide her feelings to her friend. “Oh, Elizabeth, it would grieve me so for Amelia to move away like you did. I missed you so much those first months, and I'd miss her even more. She and Amanda are all we have. After we lost our son in his infancy, I knew those two girls would be all we ever had. Am I being selfish in wanting her to stay here where Isaac and I both believe she belongs?”

“No, Lenora. We want our children to be happy, and that's why Matthew and I agreed to let Mary Beth remain here. Now that she's here, I can see how this life fits her so well. It hurts my heart for her to be away. These past few years we've been more than mother and daughter; we've been friends. However, when I see how happy she is with Andrew Farnsworth, I can't help but be happy for her and let her go.”

A stab of pain twisted itself into Lenora's heart. Elizabeth had four other children left at home and could keep her hands and heart busy with them. No one would be left at home for Isaac and her if Amelia were to leave.

Elizabeth reached over and covered Lenora's hands. “Caring for our adult children may prove to be even more difficult than when they were young. We can't live their lives for them, but we can guide them and help them make the wisest choices.” She paused a moment then continued. “A trip to the ranch would give all three of you a real glimpse into our life. Sometimes the fear of the unknown can influence us to the point of not seeing the truth.”