Alyssa's Choice (9 page)

* * * *

For the first time in her life, Jessica didn’t have the answer. It was hard to believe that as strong as she was, she was lost as to what to do. The party had been a huge success, and she came home wanting to tell Alyssa all about it. She had memorized every detail so that she would be able to give her an accurate story. Unfortunately, silence greeted her, and the house was empty, her suitcase gone.

Jessica had walked through the house until she found a pregnancy test on the floor in the bathroom. Her joy turned to fear the next moment, and she had no idea what to do now. It had almost been a whole day that she kept this deep, dark secret. She had called Alyssa repeatedly with no answer, her voice mailbox full. She knew more about Alyssa than anyone else did, knew her secrets, and she was now afraid to tell anyone anything.

She walked down the dirt road to the main house, the pregnancy test inside the bag she was holding. She knew that she was telling a secret that wasn’t anybody’s business. What if Alyssa left and would be returning not pregnant? Should she say anything at all? The worrying was killing her, and she couldn’t imagine her best friend going through something this serious alone. Bella had to know something. Somebody had to know something.

She knocked on the door and waited impatiently for someone to answer. She was scared, her skin was itchy, and she didn’t know what the right thing to do was. “Hey, Jess. What’s up?” Cody opened the door with an easy smile, and Jessica smiled back. She was freaking out. She couldn’t find the words, so instead she opened the bag and showed him the pregnancy test.

“Come in.” His face turned serious, and he moved out of the way, ushering her to the kitchen where Clint, Clay, and Bella were gathered eating sandwiches. They looked up when she walked in, and she realized that the moment for privacy was over.

“I found this in the bathroom. I’m worried sick about Alyssa. I’ve been calling her all day and she isn’t answering. When did she leave? Do you know something?” She stared at Bella, waiting for an answer, ignoring the men that surrounded them. She knew Alyssa had left, but when, how, and for how long? She needed answers. She needed to find her friend and help her. That was her only real thought. She needed to get to Alyssa.

“Oh, my God. Jessica, I swear I didn’t know about that.” Bella pointed to the test. “She left yesterday. She took my car. She said she needed some time and space. I–I didn’t know. Why didn’t she tell me?” The look on her face said it all, and Jessica didn’t push, knowing that Bella might break down and cry at any moment.

“Where? I need to know where she went.” She could drive fast and try to catch up to her, or she could fly.

“I think she went back to California,” Bella whispered. Jessica closed her eyes, knowing that if Alyssa came back things wouldn’t be the same. This secret would fester and grow, but it was her secret to tell. How could she leave without telling her, without asking for help? She would’ve ditched the store opening.

“We don’t say anything. Nobody knows about this test. It’s her secret, and we’re going to keep it. If she doesn’t come back pregnant, nobody is going to say a damn thing. Swear it. Right now, all of you.” Jessica looked at them all. She wouldn’t back down, not until they swore to take this conversation to the grave. She wouldn’t let Alyssa down, even if her friend would never know.

Everyone nodded, and Jessica left the house. She wanted the place to be clean when Alyssa got home. She would throw out the trash and scrub the house. She would keep her mouth shut no matter what, and she would be at Alyssa’s side forever. Jessica walked into the house and started with the bathroom. She was still amazed that Alyssa was able to keep secrets this serious away from her, but it wasn’t too surprising. Especially since she knew where she came from and knew her family.

After a few hours, Jessica grabbed her phone and called Alyssa once more, hoping that the damn thing wouldn’t go to voice mail.

“Hey, this is Alyssa. Leave a message after the beep and I’ll call you back.” Jessica waited for the message to tell her the mailbox was full. Instead, the phone beeped and she started talking.

“Alyssa, it’s Jessica. I’m so worried about you. I came home from the party and you weren’t here. I hope you’re feeling okay. Please call me. I love you.” She hung up the phone and stared at it, hoping that she would call back. Hours passed and still the house was silent. Jessica sat on the couch and stared at her phone. She wouldn’t miss a call.

It was late. In fact, in most places it would be considered early morning. Clint had held Bella as she cried for hours. He looked over at her now as she slept, her eyes swollen, and he felt a jolt of pain in his heart. He couldn’t sleep. He kept thinking about Alyssa and what had happened. He thought about the morning she came home driving Bella’s car. She had looked so sad and lost. He should’ve talked more. He should’ve confronted Justin and Grant and got answers. It just didn’t seem right, a one-night stand turning into a miracle and now Alyssa gone.

Clint got out of bed and went downstairs, needing some space to think about what he could do. He made a promise to keep his mouth shut and not tell anybody anything about Alyssa or the pregnancy test. He wasn’t so sure he could keep that secret anymore, not when he thought about his friends.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Clay’s voice stopped him from pouring his coffee, and he grabbed another mug. “Thanks.” He sat down at the table, and Clint brought over the mugs, sitting down. He didn’t say anything, too lost in thought to get the right words out. “Do you think we should tell Grant and Justin?”

“No. I don’t know. I keep thinking about Bella. I would want to know if she had left town. I would want to know if she was pregnant. We promised not to say anything. I can’t help but feel like both Grant and Justin need to know what’s going on. Do you think they know?” He had a bad feeling that they might know what was happening. It didn’t make sense, though. He had known them since they were kids. They wouldn’t have used Alyssa, but why would she have been at the house alone wearing the clothes from the night before?

“We need to tell them. I know that we promised to keep our mouths shut, but I don’t care. They deserve to know the truth of what’s happening. I’ll take the blame. I’ll tell them,” Clay said, and Clint knew that he would. He would let Bella blame him totally and completely, but Clint knew he couldn’t let him go down alone, not when he wanted answers from Grant and Justin.

“We go together, the three of us. After Bella leaves for work, we can head into town and have a chat with those two. If Bella gets upset, then at least we can talk to her together and explain our reasons, and maybe she’ll forgive quickly.” Clint felt that it would be best to keep Bella in the dark until they talked to the guys about this, just in case they had been total asses after sleeping with her.

“Okay, in a few hours. I think I might head out and do some chores beforehand since I’m already up.” Clay got up from the table and headed to the mudroom. He put his boots on and grabbed his jacket before heading outside and into the dark of the morning.

Clint sat at the table, thinking about Alyssa and the things he wished he would’ve done. That morning when he rode up to the guesthouse, he saw Alyssa sanding on the patio, looking so depressed. He had asked about Grant and Justin, and now he wished that he would’ve just gone over to the pub and confronted them. If he would’ve done something, then maybe Alyssa wouldn’t have left town, maybe he could’ve prevented her from thinking she was alone, and maybe Bella wouldn’t have been hysterical all night.

He sat there at the table, watching the sunrise shooting bright rays across the kitchen. He sipped his coffee, enjoying the silence that surrounded him. He thought of what he would say once he saw his friends. He wouldn’t overreact. He would listen to what they had to say, and then he would respond. His father always said, respond to a situation, don’t react. He would do just that. He would keep his mouth in check, even though he really wanted to kick their asses. It was important that he kept calm.

Clint got up and walked upstairs. He wanted to hold Bella before she woke up. He didn’t want her to open her beautiful eyes and not be by her side. He felt tired, his legs heavy as he walked into the bedroom. He climbed into bed and closed his eyes, moving closer to Bella until her warm body touched his. This was his heaven, having the woman he loved in his arms. He breathed her in, her soft scent filling his head.

* * * *

Alyssa sat in the sterile waiting room, wondering what the hell she was doing. She was tired, alone, and scared. She looked down at her phone again and saw Jessica’s name flash on the screen. She had kept it off for the most part, not wanting to talk to anyone, but now she didn’t want to be alone. This was her pain to bear. Her mistake, and she would never tie a man down with the responsibility of a child.

She knew deep down that both Justin and Grant would step up to the plate and be great fathers, even care for her. She didn’t want that kind of relationship, though, making someone feel like they had to be with her, had to raise a child. She had seen too many crappy relationships, too many young girls getting pregnant hoping to keep a man. She didn’t want anyone to think that about her, so she would never tell anyone about this secret.

She knew now that she couldn’t stay here, that she would need to drive back to Coltmann County soon. This was no longer her home. She had nothing left here. Her makeshift family was back in Texas. She loved Bella and Jessica, and she wished that she had the guts to confide in them.

Alyssa shut off her phone and sat in the silent waiting room, wondering when they would call her name. She shifted in the hard plastic chair and felt out of place. She realized that she was the oldest woman there. There were so many young girls sitting around her, and she felt so horrible for them, that they were going through this alone. Did they have mothers in their lives? Were they too afraid to tell someone? She was scared that her friends would judge her, would somehow think poorly of her.

One young girl caught her attention. She had to be sixteen years old and her eyes were bloodshot, her nose bright red. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and Alyssa wanted to go to her, hold her, and comfort her in this obviously horrid time in her life. Alyssa bit her lip and held onto the sides of her chair, trying to prevent herself from getting up.

Small, quiet sniffles reached her, and Alyssa moved slowly, going to her. She sat down and wrapped an arm over her shoulder, pulling her small frame into her side. She didn’t know what to say, so instead she let the girl cry on her, let her tears soak through her flimsy shirt. Her heart pounded in her chest, and Alyssa’s vision blurred.

“I’m sorry for crying all over you,” the girl whispered and moved to sit up, trying to get her composure.

“Do you want to talk? I–I know you don’t know me, but maybe talking could help.” Alyssa shrugged. She still wasn’t sure what to say. What does someone say to a girl who’s about to have a life-altering experience? The facts didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if she were pro-choice or pro-life. What mattered was that she was sitting next to a young girl who was scared and alone. Her problems seemed so ridiculous now. She had options, more than she initially realized.

“Mia Jones.” A nurse stood next to the door, and Alyssa was glad she hadn’t called her name. She needed some more time to think, and she wanted to be able to talk to this girl a little longer. The girl next to her jolted, and Alyssa realized that her name was Mia. It was her turn to go back behind the door.

“Listen. I’m—I’ll be here for you. I’ll wait right here,” Alyssa stammered. She didn’t know what to say. She felt sick to her stomach, and she wished that the right words would come to her at this moment. She wanted to be able to say the right thing.

“Thanks,” she whispered as she stood up and went to the nurse. The door closed, and it echoed through the room even though it really wasn’t that loud. Alyssa leaned down, putting her head in her hands. She sat frozen, unable to move. She made a promise, and she would wait for this girl. She would be a shoulder, and she would be her friend.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It felt like hours. “Alyssa Fredricks.” She jerked her head up and looked at the door. It was her turn. She was breathing hard, her heart beat frantically in her chest, and she wasn’t sure what to do. She couldn’t leave the waiting room. She had made a promise, and she wasn’t sure if this was what she should do either. She needed more time to think, and she needed to talk to her friends. She couldn’t go through something like this alone.

* * * *

Clint walked toward the pub, flanked on either side by his brothers, Clay and Cody. He had been waiting for this moment all day. He wanted to confront Grant and Justin. He wanted answers, and he wasn’t leaving without them. He pulled the front door open and moved in, letting it slam behind them. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but soon enough he saw Justin behind the bar, cleaning, and Grant sitting on one of the barstools, staring at them.

He walked to the bar, flexing his muscles, telling himself to listen to their reasons, to not overreact. He kept thinking about Alyssa all alone in California. Before he could think, he pulled his arm back and punched Grant. He fell off the barstool and immediately jumped up, looking ready to fight. Justin jumped over the bar, and Clint prepared himself for a battle.

“What the fuck!” Justin was yelling, reaching over the bar to grab a towel for Grant’s nose. Blood gushed, but Clint felt no remorse. He wanted to cause them pain. “Jesus, Grant, are you okay?” Justin applied pressure, helping Grant to sit down and lean his head forward, letting the blood soak the towel. “You owe us an explanation. What the fuck?” Grant still hadn’t spoken. He just shot him the evil eye, and Clint felt a little better. He could talk now.

“I’m waiting, Clint. What the hell has gotten into you?” Justin was breathing heavily, and Clint knew that he needed to start talking. He just didn’t know where to begin. The words were all trapped in his throat.

“Alyssa. She’s pregnant! I want to know what you two were thinking. How dare you use her for a one-night fuck! If I thought you would do that, I wouldn’t have let this develop. I would have taken her home. She isn’t just some new girl. She’s Bella’s family. Our family. How could you?” He was shaking, yelling at them both, his friends. He wished the words would’ve come out with more tact, but he was too upset.

“What?” Grant dropped the rag to the floor, and both he and Justin stared at him, openmouthed.

“I thought you both cared about her.” He shook his head. He knew that they didn’t know she was pregnant. This was a secret, a secret that nobody knew, and he had been the one to shoot his mouth off.

“We do care about her, very much. That night we thought it was the beginning of our relationship. She left, she walked out the door, and we tried to give her space, hoping that she would come back to us,” Justin said. He sat down next to Grant, looking ill.

“Pregnant, you’re sure. I–I mean, she told you this?” Grant whispered, and Clint knew that he was in shock. He would be, too.

“Yeah, we’re sure. Jessica found a pregnancy test at the house. She came over and talked to Bella,” Clay said, moving over to lean against the bar. Both Justin and Grant stood up and moved. They walked quickly toward the door, and he knew they were going to try to find Alyssa. They had no idea that she had left town. This was turning into a bigger issue than he was prepared for. He thought he was going to kick both their asses and then head home.

“She’s gone.” That stopped them from walking through the door. “She left town, borrowed Bella’s car and went back to California. I’m sorry.” The looks on their faces said it all. They were devastated, and he knew that they really did care about her. Nobody talked for a little while, and Clint could feel the tension in the room grow rapidly.

“She left? She’s pregnant and she just left town. Left us.” Grant looked shocked. He moved past them and walked up the stairs, never looking back.

“Shit.” Justin shook his head. “Do you think she’s coming back?” he asked, watching Grant retreat farther up to their place.

“Yeah. I’m not sure when though or how long she’ll be gone. I was so pissed at you both and I thought that maybe you guys kicked her out or something. I thought it was a one-night stand, and I wanted to kick some sense into you. I’m sorry, Justin. I know now that you care about her.” Clint felt like hell. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should’ve kept his mouth shut.

“Do you think she left to, you know? I can’t even say the word. I’m never going to meet my baby, am I?” The pain on Justin’s face said it all, and he wanted to rewind time and listen to what Jessica had said. He didn’t know when she was coming back, and he felt completely at a loss of what to do or say.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Justin. Please tell Grant I said that. I shouldn’t have punched him. I should’ve let you both talk and explain.” Clint headed for the door. He couldn’t think straight. He wanted to get home and talk to Bella. He needed to tell her how much he had completely messed up today. It was his fault, not Cody’s or Clay’s.