Alyssa's Choice (10 page)

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Alyssa’s heart was pounding as the young girl, Mia, walked back into the waiting room. She stood up slowly and opened her arms wide. To her amazement, Mia walked directly to her. She didn’t speak. She just held her as she cried, letting her get it all out. She rubbed her hand in circles, hoping that she was being comforting.

“Do you want me to take you somewhere? Do you have a ride?” she asked, wanting to leave the clinic, wanting to be away from this place.

“Yeah. I’d like that. Thanks.” They walked out of the clinic arm in arm, and Alyssa took a deep breath when they got outside. It wasn’t as good as the warm Texas air, but it was better than the air inside the building. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“No, not yet. My roommate is home, and I should technically be in class so, no.” The girl looked so young she had assumed she was sixteen, but now she wasn’t so sure. It sounded like she was in college and lived away from her parents. Alyssa didn’t want to ask any questions, though. It wasn’t any of her business. She just wanted to be able to support Mia in her time of need.

“Okay. Do you want to get some coffee?” She wasn’t sure where they should go, but she did want to be helpful for as long as could be before taking her home.

“Sounds good. Thanks.” Alyssa walked toward the car. She opened the passenger-side door, and Mia climbed in, buckling up. Alyssa walked around the car and slid in. Starting the engine, she pulled out of the parking lot and headed down the street. She stopped at the first coffee shop she could find, craving her usual, an iced caramel latte.

They ordered their drinks and found a table near the back of the shop. Alyssa sipped on her drink. She stayed quiet, not wanting to be the first one to talk.

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know your name. I’m Mia.” She stuck her hand out, and Alyssa took it, giving her a gentle handshake.

“I’m Alyssa. It’s nice to meet you, even under these circumstances. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do for you?” she asked.

“I’m just glad that you were there. I honestly didn’t have a way home today. I didn’t want to tell anyone. I went to a party, and I had too much to drink. I was stupid. I’m just glad that this is over.” She talked quietly, and Alyssa felt bad for her. She didn’t feel like she had any options.

“You’re in college? I recently graduated and moved to Texas with my best friends. I came here to see some people I knew. I’ll be heading back soon. I don’t really like being here. I miss being at home.” She wanted to share some information to change the subject, but she didn’t want to share her whole life story.

“I look younger than I am.” She smiled. “I’m twenty-two. I know it’s hard to believe. Most people think I’m around sixteen. I hate looking like a little girl, but at least I should age well, right?” She laughed a little, but Alyssa didn’t believe it was real. She seemed forced.

“I thought you were a teenager,” she admitted.

“Why were you there, at the clinic. Are you pregnant?” she asked, and Alyssa froze in place. She hadn’t been thinking about herself. Ever since meeting Mia, she had been thinking about her. The look on her face must’ve clued Mia in that she didn’t want to talk about it, because she changed the subject. “Texas, I’ve always wanted to go there. Are there a lot of cute cowboys?”

“Yeah. There are tons of sexy guys.” She smiled, thinking about Grant and Justin. “I really want to go home soon. I miss it there. The air is cleaner, and the environment has a peaceful effect on me.” She really wanted to get in the car and drive there now. There wasn’t anything keeping her here anymore.

“Maybe I’ll be able to go there someday. My family is all on the East Coast, and I’m starting to hate being here. I really want to run away, but as my momma always says, you can’t run away from your problems because wherever you go, your problems are there, too.” Alyssa nodded in agreement. Her mom must be a smart lady.

“That’s true. It’s never a good idea to run away from your problems,” Alyssa commented and realized that was exactly what she had been doing. She ran away from her childhood, she ran away from her friends, and she ran away from Grant and Justin. She had screwed up so many times, and now the only thing she wanted to do was go home and hope that everyone could forgive her.

Mia and Alyssa talked for a while, waiting for time to pass so that her roommate wouldn’t wonder why she was home early. Finally, after two coffees, Mia was ready to head home. She looked tired and a bit pale. Alyssa worried that maybe she had overdone it, especially after her ordeal. She held her arm and walked her to the car, wanting to get her home so that she could rest.

They drove in relative silence, Mia only telling her where to turn. They pulled up to an apartment complex close to the university. Alyssa was familiar with the area. “This is fine. Thanks again for your help today. I’m glad that I wasn’t alone.” She moved the car close to the curb, and Mia climbed out, giving her a small smile. She shut the door and walked slowly toward the building. Alyssa waited until she was out of sight before she pulled the car away from the building and back on the road.

It was getting dark out so Alyssa drove around looking for a motel. She wanted to get some sleep before starting her drive back home. It had taken a while, but she finally realized what she wanted. She wanted to talk to her friends, and she needed to sit down and talk to Grant and Justin.

Grant sat in the small living room. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to feel. Alyssa had left. She left, and she was pregnant with their baby. Tears streamed down his face, and he felt the loss in his heart. Did she leave because she didn’t want them to be together? Did she not want to be a mother? Why didn’t she tell them?

He had always dreamed about being a father. His dream had been so close, within his grasp, and now it was gone. They could’ve been a family, raised a child together. He had given her space, and Justin had agreed. They backed off completely, hoping that she would come back to them. He was starting to love her, and he knew that Justin felt the same way.

Grant wanted to jump in his truck and find her, but he knew that too much time had gone by. It was probably too late. He wanted to hit something, he wanted to yell and scream, but he couldn’t find the strength to get up.

“Grant.” He opened his eyes and wiped his face. He didn’t want Justin to see him fall apart. He was supposed to be the strong one. “She’s coming back. As soon as she gets to town, we’ll talk to her. We’ll get to the bottom of this, and I’m sure that everything is going to be fine,” Justin said, and he wanted to believe him, but he had his doubts. Did Justin really think that everything would be okay? Did he really believe that their woman would be coming back pregnant?

He didn’t want to burst his bubble, so he just nodded, the words stuck in his throat. “I can see it in your eyes. You don’t believe me.” Justin shook his head, and Grant didn’t deny it. He didn’t believe him, he didn’t see the silver lining in things, and he didn’t have faith that Alyssa would come back and be with them. Could he forgive her? Could they move forward and be together? He wasn’t so sure anymore. They were still at the beginning stages of their relationship, and now it just seemed that things were over before they really even began.

“Don’t do this, Grant. Don’t pull away. We’ll talk to her when she gets back in town. We’ll figure all of this out. You have to trust me.” He did trust Justin, more than any other person in the world, but he wasn’t sure that Justin would get the happily ever after he expected.

“Do you really think that Alyssa will come back to us pregnant? Do you really think that the three of us will be together?” He hadn’t meant to say anything. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Justin’s feelings. He just wanted to be alone. He needed some time to think and calm down before he exploded.

“Yes, I do. I want you to have some faith that Alyssa isn’t leaving us. I really think that she was only scared and ran back to California but that after she does some thinking she will come back and we will be together. Why is that so hard to believe? What are you afraid of?” Justin got his in his face, and Grant couldn’t keep his temper under control for another minute. He jumped up and pushed him, wanting him to just walk away.

“You’re an idiot. She left. It’s not too hard to figure out that she doesn’t want to be with us. Why are you pushing this? She’s pregnant, and instead of coming to talk to us, she ran. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that it’s over.” He started pacing around the room, feeling trapped. He wanted to leave. He needed fresh air. It was hard to breathe.

“I’m pushing because she is the first woman
ever
that you have been interested in. It’s usually just sex, but you took things slow and you wanted to pursue something real. I’m not letting you throw it away, not until after we’ve talked to her. Not until we have the answers we need.” Justin was pleading with him. He knew his tactics, especially after growing up together and depending on each other for years.

Grant didn’t want to talk, so instead he left, walking quickly down the stairs. He practically ran through the pub, pulling the front door open and stepping outside on the street. He walked down the sidewalk with no destination in mind. He just needed some space.

He stared at the ground, his mind consumed with thoughts of Alyssa and all the possibilities. He wondered if they ever would be together, if he could forgive her for running away, for abandoning him the way his parents had. That was different though. They hadn’t wanted to die. They hadn’t wanted to leave their sons behind.

His parents had been great people. They had rescued him from an abusive childhood and brought him here, to Coltmann County. They were all so kind and patient even when he didn’t deserve it. He had been a messed up kid. They had different last names by choice, Hollis for their dad Thomas, and Justin took Truman for their dad Timothy. God, he missed them. If only he could talk to his dads and get some advice.

He didn’t know how to handle this situation or even how to talk to Justin and explain his feelings. He only wanted to take care of Alyssa and to be a good dad to his baby. Why did things have to be so hard? He knew that he could be a good dad, and he prayed that Alyssa would give him that chance.

What if she was pregnant with a little boy? He wondered if he would be artistic or athletic. Would he look like Justin or more like him? Maybe it was a girl. Would she have Alyssa’s beautiful smile and innocent doe eyes? The pain in his chest grew, and he felt lost and helpless. There wasn’t anything he could do. There was no way to get in contact with her.

He walked for hours, until the sky was dark. He didn’t stop until he was standing in front of the guesthouse where she had lived. The lights were on, and he wondered if Jessica was inside. Was she waiting for Alyssa? Did she know where she was? He walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

“Hey, are you okay? No offense, but you look like hell.” She was never shy with her words. He knew that already. She was a no-nonsense kind of woman, and he respected that about her.

“Where is she?” Those seemed to be the only words he could get out. His throat was dry. He felt too raw now to elaborate.

“I don’t know. I’ve tried calling her so many times.” She shook her head, looking genuinely sad. He understood her pain. He felt it himself.

“Is it true?” The look on her face said it all. What Clint said was true. Jessica had found a pregnancy test, and it belonged to Alyssa, his Alyssa. He turned to leave. He wasn’t sure why he had come to this house in the first place. Maybe a small part of him had wanted to find her here.

“Wait. Grant, I’m sorry. I know this must be hard on you, but I really need you to not say anything to Alyssa when she comes back.” He could hear the strain in her voice, but it did nothing for his temper.

“Not say anything? She left town. She left Justin and I to run back to California. She’s pregnant with my child, and you don’t want me to say anything. Are you crazy?” He stared at her, not understanding how she could possibly ask him to not confront Alyssa. It made no sense.

“It’s her secret to tell, Grant. I’m as worried as you are. She’s my best friend, and I have no idea if she’s okay or not. I carry my phone everywhere, hoping and praying that she’ll call me.” Grant rubbed his face hard. He could feel a headache starting.

“I know you love her. I love her, too.” He stopped and stared at her. He loved her. “It’s not just her I’m worried about.” He didn’t want to say the words or ask the question, but he had to know. “Would she have an abortion?” There, he had finally said it aloud. He realized in that moment that he wouldn’t be able to forgive her or move forward if she had.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. He watched as tears filled her eyes.

“Justin and I are going to talk to her when she gets back into town. I won’t keep my mouth shut, and I won’t give her anymore space. I tried to be respectful and wait for her to come to us, but I’m done,” he told her as he walked down the step. He knew it sounded like a threat, and maybe it was.

“I understand.” He heard her words before closing the door. He wondered if she really did understand. He walked back toward town, even though he would rather not see Justin at this moment. He knew one thing was for sure. They needed a plan. He took a deep breath and knew exactly what he was going to do. Alyssa wouldn’t know what hit her. She would never get space again.