Always Yours (6 page)

"What the hell is going on, Cam? Why did we have to leave so fast? I was about to seal the deal with that waitress," Blake called out to me, trying to catch up as we crossed the parking lot.

"Nothing, I just...I need to get out of here," I shot back, not wanting to divulge the truth to him that I was scared shitless. The memories and emotions that Cara brought to the surface were messing with my head. Dancing with her, holding her small frame in my arms, her head resting on my chest, it was too much—I had to get away.

"What do you mean, dude? You just had that Cara chick right where you wanted her. Why did you bail?" he asked as he started jogging behind me to keep up.

Blake's question ran through my head in circles.

Why did I bail?

Maybe I ran out because I had never felt so much for a complete stranger before in my life, maybe it was because I was rock hard for her the moment she wrapped her arms around my neck, or better yet, maybe it was because the moment her head rested on my chest the only person I could think about was Amber and I felt like an absolute asshole because of it.

Fucking Amber!

It had been over four years since we had been together and I still wasn't over her, and if I was being honest, I didn't think I ever would be.

Pulling my keys from my pocket I unlocked my truck and climbed in. With my head and arms resting on the steering wheel, I sat in my truck feeling defeated. "Fuck!"

Why was I still letting Amber control every damn part of my brain? Why couldn't I let her go?

The loud sound of the passenger door slamming shut echoed through the cab and I could feel Blake glaring at me, waiting for an answer but there was no way I was going to tell him about Amber.

"I fucked up, huh?" I mumbled without even looking in his direction.

"Just now figuring that out, are ya?" Asshole Blake was back. "That was cold, Cam. I wouldn't have even done that to a girl and I'm the biggest dick when it comes to females. You should have seen her face when you left."

"Was she pissed?" I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Not at first."

"What do you mean?"

"After she watched you leave, she looked downright distraught, but once you were gone it was like a switch was flicked and she looked pretty furious."

"I'm such as jackass," I grunted. "How am I going to fix this?"

"I don't know, man, but whatever you do, do it from a distance. I wouldn't put it past that girl to clock ya one the next time she sees you." Blake started laughing and all I could do was glare at him as I started my truck.

Driving home I thought of a million ways I could say I was sorry for walking away from her but nothing felt good enough. A simple
'I'm sorry for being such an ass'
would probably work better on Cara than some of the sissy things I was thinking of, but I didn't know her that well and really, I didn't have a clue. I was toying with the idea of just leaving it alone and staying away from her. If I was smart I would. For some reason being around Cara made all of my feelings for Amber come back and I hated it.

As I lay down in my bed that night I finally decided to just let this idea of Cara go. She didn't like me anyway, she made that pretty clear with the attitude she gave me tonight, and even if she did we barely even knew each other. It shouldn't be too hard to push the thoughts of her from my mind—soon she would be long forgotten. Closing my eyes I tried to fall asleep but images of Cara kept intermixing with my thoughts of Amber, like a never-ending slideshow, tormenting me with each new picture.

Fuck, maybe forgetting about Cara was going to be harder than I thought.

Darkness.

Fear.

Pain.

The only thing I could hear was a faint ringing sound. Slowly, I opened my eyes, blinking a few times as I tried to focus on my surroundings. Red, white, and blue lights flashed all around me, and I squinted in response as the brightness of them pierced my vision. The smell of burning tires, gasoline and what I hoped wasn't blood, burned my nose as I inhaled and it made the furiously throbbing pain in my head worse. Reaching up, I carefully touched the pulsing ache and winced from the pain. Pulling my hand away, I cringed—it was covered in blood.

"Miss, you're going to be okay, we're going to get you out. Try not to move," I heard a deep voice call out to me. I couldn't see anyone or anything except the flashing lights.

Trying to recall what happened I closed my eyes just as a horrible pain shot through my abdomen. Clutching my stomach, I cried out in agony as bits and pieces of the past hour flashed in my head.

Graduation...

The party...

Lance was kissing her...

Tears falling...

Shouting...yelling...crying...

He told everyone I got pregnant on purpose so he wouldn't break up with me...

The baby! No, God, please.

A cold wave of fear swept through my bones and my whole body started to tremble.

"I'm pregnant, please hurry!" I cried out, hoping someone could hear me as I tried to wrench my aching body free. It was no use though. My legs were pinned under the crushed dashboard.

Tears started falling down my face in streams as another sharp pain wrenched though my core. I cried out in agony as the most excruciating sensation I had ever felt took over my body, paralyzing me.
No, please, don't take her from me!

Shooting out of bed, drenched in sweat, I ran straight to the bathroom and expelled the contents of my stomach into the toilet, over and over again until nothing was left. Sinking down to the cold tile floor, I wrapped my arms around my midsection and began to cry. The nightmares of my past were few and far between lately, but when they did haunt me, they were real. Every emotion, every ounce of pain, every tear, was fresh in my mind and I knew there was no way I was going back to sleep anytime soon.

Pushing my drained and now cold body off the floor, I went into the kitchen to get some water—I needed to get this horrible taste out of my mouth. Glancing at the clock I noticed it was 7am.
Ugh, it is way too early to be awake.
Late nights at the bar had turned me into a bit of a night owl and usually I didn't rise until at least nine or ten.

Last night had been an extremely late night. Between Shay becoming a crying mess—thanks to Kyle—shortly after the doors of the bar were locked, and being left alone and utterly humiliated on the dance floor, I didn't get to crawl into the comforts of my bed until nearly 4am.

I couldn't believe Cam had just left me there.

What a dick!

I felt like such a moron for actually thinking that maybe he was a good guy. But he wasn't, he did exactly what every man has done to me since I was eight years old—he left, and he never once looked back. Luckily, this time, I found out early, before anything actually happened between us. He was now just another jerk I could warn the other waitresses about—not that he would be returning to Maggie's any time soon, I hoped.

Wallowing in my self-pity, I decided to try and go back to sleep since I needed to be at the bar early. I had a lot to get done before we opened for business at 4pm. First, I needed to formally fire Tammy, once that was taken care of I would need to get a jump on posting an ad for a new manager—two things I really didn't want to do. Maybe, I could get Shay to finally accept the position. Then I wouldn't have to go through the whole process again.

Rolling my eyes at myself, I turned on my side and pushed all the thoughts away. I could worry about all of this shit later. Right now, I needed to sleep.

"I warned you over a month ago about this and now you've missed three shifts in the past two weeks. It's unacceptable and I won't tolerate it any longer," I sternly told Tammy. Even though inside, I was a bundle of nerves. She sat across from me in the office, looking completely dumbfounded and I almost felt bad for having to do this to someone as clueless as her. "I need someone I can rely on in this position and unfortunately, it just isn't working out. I'm sorry, Tammy, but I'm going to have to let you go."

"What?" she screeched. "You're kidding me, right? I've made this place so much money the past six months and this is how I'm repaid!" The high-pitched tone of her voice was making my ears hurt.

"Excuse me? First of all, our sales have not increased or decreased since you've been here, Tammy, I can show you the numbers if you'd like. Second, I'm not kidding. Your attendance record speaks for itself," I explained.

"This is wrongful termination, you know. You can't fire me!" she retorted back.

"Well, I just did. Here is your final paycheck. Please, clean out your locker and leave the property immediately," I said, handing her the check.

"Screw you, Cara, and good luck replacing me!" she yelled. Standing up, she snatched the envelope from my hand. She narrowed her eyes at me before quickly exiting the office. I heard her slam the locker door before she stomped out of the bar shouting obscenities and cursing my name.

"Well, that was fun," I noted as I looked over at Royce. I could tell he was amused. "Don't you dare laugh at me," I warned, knowing that was exactly what he was going to do. That situation couldn't have been more awkward and I'm sure it showed all over my face.

"Care-bear, firing people is the hardest part of this job, and you did fine, considering who you were dealing with. You stood your ground and remained professional. Just one thing; next time, try not to let your face give it away that you're a nervous nillie." He laughed. I playfully chucked my pen at his head while giving him a dirty look. "Now get to work on hiring a new manager. You need the time away from this place, even if it is just one or two nights a week. I don't need you turning this old bar into your life like I did."

"Where was that thinking when you decided to take mom on a two months’ vacation? I can't believe you are leaving the bar in my hands for that long." I shook my head at him. Traveling abroad overseas was one of my mother's lifelong dreams and Royce was making it come true.

"You'll be fine, plus, we will be back for two weeks in the middle of it. So if you mess up with the next person you hire, we can deal with it then." He laughed again as he stood up and walked out the door.