Always Come Home (Emerson 1) (16 page)

And he looked very nice in breeches.

*

As Colin had listened to Ava read to Letty, he’d
thought about what it would be like to one day have his own daughter or son.
He vowed to be the kind of father he never had. His children would always feel
loved, safe and wanted. He wasn’t even sure he could bear to send a son off to
Eton, knowing what he did of that institution. And he needed a wife who would
be the kind of mother his children deserved. Not like his mother. Though from
what he’d learned from friends, few ladies in the
ton
took the time to
truly raise their children, leaving most of the work to servants.

In his case, it hadn’t just been the work that had
been delegated, but also the love and encouragement. What little love he’d had
in his life growing up, had been from his siblings and his nannies and nurses.
When he’d left for school, he’d been sad to leave them behind, but not his
parents.

He had to marry wealth for the sake of his sisters.
But he also wanted to marry the right woman for the sake of his children. And,
ideally, he would like a wife he could grow to love. A woman like Ava.

She was rarely far from his thoughts. In the short
time he’d known her, she’d seeped into his soul. He’d had more than a few
fantasies about what it would be like to remove one of her plain brown gowns to
find the bounty beneath. Of course, with as cold as the dower house was, he’d
also have to remove a few shawls, scarves and woolen socks. But he was
confident he could persevere until he had her where he wanted her: naked in his
bed.

Just the thought of it warmed him enough that he
could take off his jacket and waistcoat, which was how he was dressed when he
found her in the sitting room.

“Are you here to check on Father Christmas’s
arrival?” she asked when he entered the room. “I fear he has not yet come.”

“That is just as well, since I might plant a facer
on the man for not doing better by my sisters. I fear the only present they
shall have is the story I wrote for them.”

“They will cherish it.”

“But how I wish I could give them something more.
Though these days I often find myself wishing life could be different in so
many ways.”

She looked at him with her soft brown eyes. “It is
Christmas Eve, after all. I believe everyone can dream a little tonight.”

“Do you dream, Ava? How I wish you would dream of
me.”

He approached her slowly. He’d wanted to kiss her
ever since she’d lent him her gown. No, it was before that. When he’d come
upon her speaking to the portraits at Clayton’s. Actually, as odd as it
sounded, he thought he’d wanted to kiss her before he’d even met her. Because
somehow, some part of him knew there was an Ava in the world. And, oh, how
fortunate he was that he’d finally found her.

She watched him approach and he wasn’t sure if she
would turn and run. But she didn’t. She remained as she was, and for all the
world it looked like she wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her.
Though that was impossible. Surely no one had ever wanted a kiss this much.

He bent toward her and slowly brought his lips to
hers. He knew there could be nothing more between them. But perhaps it was
enough to just have this moment. Mayhap this memory would last a lifetime.

Who was he trying to fool? He wanted more than a kiss.
Then a miracle happened as she put her arms around his neck. He pulled her against
him, deepening the kiss.

Unfortunately, it ended all too soon, courtesy of
someone entering the room. He pulled back from her and the look of
disappointment on her face was almost worth breaking the kiss. Almost. He
could see when she realized they were not alone. A very embarrassed Stemple was
standing in the doorway holding a candle.

“Did you need something Stemple?” asked Colin, whose
voice sounded a good deal deeper than normal.

“I was just checking to ensure the fire was banked,”
said Stemple, who was looking at everything except Colin and Ava.

“The fire is contained,” said Colin. “At least the
one in the grate is,” he added for only Ava to hear.

“Excellent,” said Stemple. “Then perhaps I should go
on about my duties.”

“You can do whatever you’d like, Stemple,” said
Colin. “As long as it is elsewhere.”

“Very good, my lord. Good night.”

Stemple quickly left, closing the door behind him.

Colin turned back to Ava. “Where were we?”

“Unfortunately, I was leaving. Happy Christmas,
Colin.”

He wanted to hold her to him and never let her go. Instead,
he said, “Happy Christmas, Ava.”

It was only after she left that he added, “my love.”

It was still dark when Ava’s door opened and Letty
ran in. “Miss Conway! It’s Christmas!”

Ava opened bleary eyes to look at the girl who was
jumping up and down near the bed. She was obviously quite excited, though
given the temperature in the room, perhaps it was also her way of keeping warm.

“Rose told me to stay up here while Colin lights the
fires.” She leaned forward to whisper. “He also said a bad word when he
stubbed his toe after I woke him up, but he thinks I didn’t hear. And Stemple
and Maude are getting things ready in the kitchen!”

“So I am the last one to arise. Aren’t I the lazy
bones?” said Ava, as she reached for her dressing gown and shawl. “Are you
warm enough, sweetheart?” Then she took a good look at the girl. “Your feet
are bare! We must take care of that immediately.”

Ava took Letty back to her room and found woolen
socks for her, while the girl chatted merrily about Christmas. Ava hoped she wouldn’t
be too disappointed by the lack of presents.

When they reached the sitting room, Ava caught her
breath in surprise. There were candles everywhere and a fire burning. Maude
and Stemple had brought in a pot of chocolate, as well as coffee and scones.
Everyone was in their dressing gowns, and there were presents on the table.
But Letty didn’t seem to notice them. She simply went around the room, hugging
everyone – including a surprised Stemple and Maude.

“Will that be everything, my lord?” Stemple asked
Colin.

“No. I would like the two of you to join us.”

“Us, milord?” asked Maude.

“Yes. For one thing, I have gifts for both of
you.”

To Ava’s astonishment, he pulled out a small package
for each.

“But milord, you don’t have any…” Maude stopped
herself. “I mean, you shouldn’t waste your money on us.”

“Actually,” said Colin sheepishly, “I did not purchase
either of your gifts, but I hope you like them.”

Maude opened her package to find a flagon similar to
the one they’d shared on the road. Except this one was made of fine leather
with a sterling silver cap. “My lord, you cannot give this to me.”

“Of course I can. I bought it during my university
days. If you ever find yourself stranded on the road with weary travelers
again – and I do so hope you won’t – you will have another flagon for your
use.”

Stemple opened his package to find a silver pen.
“My lord, I cannot accept this. It must be a family heirloom.” The earl’s
crest was on the cap.

“And as the earl, I can do with it as I wish. I
have long thought that avid readers are but writers waiting for the
opportunity. You have your pen. You will find empty journals in the library.
Explore your inner author. Please take it, Victor. I insist.”

Stemple was deeply touched by the earl’s gift, and
Ava felt tears in her eyes. Colin was truly a thoughtful man.

Rose cleared her throat as if she, too, had been on
the verge of crying. “Our brother James sent a package for Letty and myself,
along with this note for Colin.”

Colin took the sealed letter reverently and placed
it in his pocket. He’d mentioned he’d heard from his brother in America only
infrequently. Ava wondered what news James had sent him.

Letty very carefully opened the large package, which
was for both her and Rose. “It’s beautiful!” she cried as she lifted up two
bolts of fabric.

“He sent a card,” said Rose. She read the enclosed
note: “To my dear sisters. I thought you might like to make gowns with this
material from America. I only wish I could see you in them. Perhaps one day
soon. With love, your brother James.” Rose ran her fingers over the parchment
as Letty spread out the fabric. One bolt was a green muslin, no doubt meant to
complement Letty’s hair. The other was a bolt of white silk, suitable for a
come-out ball.

“How beautiful,” said Ava.

Rose carefully examined the fabric. “Oh, Letty, I
can make you a beautiful gown with this.”

Rose gave her sister two lengths of dark green ribbon,
one for her hair and the other to trim a gown. Letty gave Rose a picture she’d
drawn, though the subject matter wasn’t quite apparent. The two girls gave
Colin a knitted scarf and a handkerchief with his initials embroidered on it.

Ava could see just how touched he was. Colin was,
for once, at a loss for words and his eyes were filled with tears. He had to
clear his throat twice, but was still unable to speak.

So Ava stepped in. “Lady Rosemary, I believe I have
caught you fibbing.”

“How so?” asked Rose.

“You said you were not skilled at needlework, yet anyone
can see that only a dab hand could have produced that handkerchief.”

“Letty helped me,” said Rose, while the girl beamed
happily. “And I did take my time with it. I also believe tasks are easier to
do when there is a purpose to them, rather than just an exercise to pass the
time. Colin, do you truly like it?”

“They are the best gifts I have ever received,” he
said, as he hugged his sisters.

Ava felt like an intruder at the intimate family
gathering, yet she was glad she was there to see this side of Colin. But she
wanted to give them their privacy, so she began to steal away.

“Miss Conway,” said Rose. “You cannot think of
leaving. Letty and I have not forgotten you.” She handed Ava a small package.

With trembling fingers, Ava opened it to reveal
another handkerchief.

“I am afraid we were only able to embroider the ‘A’
in time,” said Rose. “And it is a bit lopsided. But we will have time to fix
it, if you do not mind giving it back to us for repairs.”

Ava shook her head, not sure she had the words to
convey what the gift meant to her. “No. It is perfect as it is.”

“Just like its recipient,” said Colin softly. “Now,
I believe I owe Rose and Letty a story, though it will pale with what I was
just given. Are you sure you want me to tell it?”

“Yes!” said Letty, sipping her chocolate. “Please,
Colin. I want to hear the story.”

“Very well. But you may change your mind at any time
and put us out of our misery.”

“I’m sure we’ll enjoy the misery,” said Rose, as she
curled up in a chair by the fire. “Read us your story, Colin.”

To Ava’s surprise, Colin gathered several sheets of
paper with writing on front and back. He must have spent quite some time on it.

“Once upon a time,” he began.

“I like it already,” said Letty.

“Thank you, sweeting. And it gets even better.
Hopefully. Once upon a time…”

For the next quarter of an hour, Colin read the
story to his sisters, though Ava, Stemple and Maude were also kept spellbound.
It was the tale of a princess named Leticia and her journeys in a fairy land,
complete with a wicked witch named Patton. Letty was enraptured and while
Colin might not think so, he’d certainly given his sisters the very best of
presents.

Finally, the story grew to a close as the happily
ever after was ensured. Letty and Rose both hugged their brother. Ava caught
Colin’s eye over his sister’s shoulder. It warmed her through and through.

“Look how late it is,” said Rose. “We must all
dress if we are to make it to church on time.”

Half an hour later, all of them were walking to the
village. It was a brisk day and Ava was glad she’d worn so many layers. Colin
once again wore his warm boots.

“Are you eyeing my boots, Miss Conway?” asked Colin
as he walked beside her.

“I am just pleased to see you have more practical
footwear, now that we are in the country.”

“Yes, one must be practical in the country and
fashionable in town, though often I am neither. I am sorry I was unable to
give you your present at the house, Ava,” he said softly. “But here it is
now.” He gave her an envelope bound by his seal.

Ava’s mouth was suddenly dry. “You’ve given me a
present, my lord?”

“Not much of one. Just a poem. I thought you’d
prefer to read it while you are alone.”

A poem
. For her. One
he thought she would prefer to read while alone.

“I do not know what to say, my lord.” The paper
seemed to glow in her fingers. Letty glanced back to say something and Ava put
the envelope in her pocket. How was she ever to pay attention in church when
she had a poem in her pocket? “Thank you, my lord.”

“It’s Colin, Ava. And you should not thank me until
you’ve read it. I’m not much of a poet.”

“I’m beginning to think you simply cannot recognize
good writing. Your story was wonderful this morning. Your sisters loved it,
as did we all.”

“My sisters are young, polite and easy to please.”

“And I am not so young, not always polite and quite
discerning. You have a real talent for writing. Have you ever thought of
pursuing it as a career? While I realize men of your class do not have
professions, it would be one way to earn money for your family without…” She
hesitated, not knowing how to complete the sentence tactfully.

“Without having to sell myself in matrimony? I wish
it were that easy. It would have to be an extremely good story because the
family is very much in debt. And who would think of paying me for it? I do
not believe Rose and Letty have much blunt, though I could probably shake it
out of them if need be.”

“There are publishers who would likely be interested
in a book by an earl.”

“Even if that were true, a book takes time to
write. And time is one thing I do not have.”

“What about writing for one of the broadsheets?”

“Like a common reporter?” Colin wrinkled his nose so
much Ava had to laugh.

“More like an editorialist. You could write essays
on the world according to the Earl of Ridgeway.”

“And who would read this tripe?”

“Many people. I would.”

“I suggest reading the poem first. You might
discover I have less talent than you think.”

Ava touched the envelope in her pocket once again,
barely able to keep from reading it there and then.

*

They weren’t late for church, but they were among the
last to arrive. Colin escorted all of them up the aisle, including Stemple and
Maude. At first, people stared at Stemple’s scars. But then the villagers
turned their attention to Colin.

He should have expected it. It had been several
months since he’d been home. He returned greetings, trying not to notice the
calculating looks in the mamas’ eyes. He hadn’t thought he would still be
sought after as a husband now that he and his family had retrenched to the
dower house. But apparently even an impoverished earl had some appeal.

They finally reached the pew reserved for the family
of the Earl of Ridgeway, only to find it occupied by strangers. And they
seemed just as surprised to see him as he was to find them there.

“I do not believe we have met,” said Colin, bowing.

“Edmund Babcock,” said a balding man of middle age.
He spoke with a distinct American accent. “And you are?”

“The Earl of Ridgeway. But I see the vicar is
waiting for us to be situated before he begins the service.”

Mr. Babcock looked slightly uncomfortable. “We
thought since we were leasing the house, the pew came with it. We’re certainly
paying enough.”

“Yes, well, I’ll see about boxing up the pew and
having it delivered later today,” Colin said smoothly. He looked back to see
that the ever efficient Stemple had found space for all of them in a pew toward
the back of the church. “Until later, Mr. Babcock. Happy Christmas to you and
your family.” He nodded to what appeared to be Babcock’s wife, son and two
daughters. He could not be sure, but he thought the younger daughter winked at
him.

Americans.

Colin escorted his family back down the aisle and
into the pew, located as far from the small fireplace at the front of the
church as possible. He took off his scarf and wrapped it around a protesting
Letty. And thought again of how he was failing his family.

He remembered the vicar as a pompous, long-winded
man who liked to hear himself talk. And nothing from his sermon contradicted
that. He did take the time to acknowledge Colin’s presence, so that the few
parishioners who hadn’t already stared at him could now get the chance. Those
who already had took a second look.

Colin had nothing against a Christmas service –
other than he was incredibly tired from spending much of the night finishing
his story and rewriting Ava’s poem. He waited anxiously for her reaction. He
hadn’t been too flirtatious, but it was impossible to think of the woman in any
other way than romantical. He had bared a considerable amount of his soul and
if she didn’t like it, well, the thought was more disturbing than it should be.

He also thought about the letter from James. He
hadn’t wanted to open it in front of the girls in case it was bad news, so he’d
read it quickly as he dressed for church. The letter had been short, as if
written in a hurry. James had apologized for not sending him a present, but he
knew Colin would rather have him spend the money on the girls – which was
true. He said there was a legal matter which had come up about a small parcel
of land he’d purchased and that he might need the family solicitor to look into
it. He promised that another letter would be coming soon.