Aloha Love (17 page)
Mak knew Jane was the one who had encouraged him to speak his heart. “Austin, I don’t think I spoke personally because you’re a visitor who will leave. I wouldn’t mind if you were a permanent resident. I think we could be friends.”
Austin nodded. “I think we are. Who knows? Jane might decide she doesn’t want to leave. This is a special place. I can understand why it’s called paradise.”
Mak liked having a friend, speaking his heart to a man. Most men didn’t do that. Austin was, as Jane had implied, a special kind of man. Like Rev. Russell in some ways. Yes, it would be nice to have a male friend. But things with Jane would be different. They should not have kissed; she should not have seen the green sunset.
His heart was troubled. Without being obvious, he turned his head far enough to see Austin’s expression.
The man looked at peace. There was a warmth in his eyes, a strength in his being. Probably that came from loving and being loved by a wonderful woman with whom he planned to spend his life. Yet Austin had attributed his confidence to a relationship with God.
“Daddy,” Jane said, “is there something between you and Inez that I need to know about?”
“Nothing I can talk about until after I have my beautiful daughter married off and settled. Now, how long you gonna keep me waitin’, girl?”
“You don’t have to wait for me, Daddy.”
“But I will. I’m not about to have some old maid spinster around tying me down.” He laughed and drew her into his arms.
Later, Uncle Russell was showing the school, church, and town to the others. Jane and Matilda sat at the table, drinking Kona coffee and talked about how Inez had taken on the airs of a demure southern lady, widow of the once-prominent Mr. Ashcroft, and worthy of the likes of Mr. John Buckley.
Jane thought she was.
“Do you think she would consider letting Pilar stay in Hawaii?”
“Pilar is making a good argument for it. She has plans to attend that nursing school along with Susanne. Inez was impressed by that.”
Jane sighed. “I know how Pilar feels. I would love to stay in Hawaii for a long time. Austin mentioned having a second home here.”
Matilda gave her a long look. “Isn’t that supposed to make you happy?”
“Well, it would really be three homes. One of them would be the long voyages from Hawaii to America and back again. And those ships are not yachts.”
“My dear Jane,” Matilda said resolutely, “When you’re in love, you don’t care if it’s Texas, Hawaii, the middle of the ocean, or the swamps in Florida. You just want to be with the one you love.”
Jane brought her hand down on the table. “Of course it makes a difference.”
Matilda wasn’t rattled by her reaction. “Certainly, you can prefer some places over another. But you wouldn’t choose a place over the one you love.”
Jane took a deep breath. “I think you’re trying to tell me something.”
“I don’t think I have to tell you. You’ve known since you were eighteen years old and began to postpone marriage plans.”
“I’ve always had reasons.”
“I know,” Matilda agreed. “No one ever marries if there’s a death, an accident, a tornado, college.” Matilda smiled—one of those caring, I-know-what-you-feel smiles that made Jane want to cry.
Jane knew she might as well say it. They both knew it anyway. “You said a place doesn’t matter that much. I think the opposite can be true, too. No matter how much you love a place, it can lose its allure if you’re not with the one you love.”
Matilda nodded. “I’ve returned to some of the places my husband and I visited together. And you’re right. It’s not the same. It reminds me of that verse in the Bible. It must be in Proverbs. I can’t imagine anyone else saying it, unless it’s Solomon in Ecclesiastes. Anyway, it’s something like it being better to live in a corner of a housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”
Jane gasped. “Matilda. I’m trying to get some advice from you, and you’re changing this all around. Sounds to me like you’re saying that’s what Austin’s life would be like if I married him.”
“Well, it could very well be. My motherly advice is you must think of him, too. What kind of favor would you be doing him if you don’t love him?”
“But I do love him. Of course I love him.”
“I know, dear. But there are many kinds and degrees of love. You need to have a few butterflies in your tummy and hear the bells ring.”
❧
The bells had been ringing all day, every hour on the hour, reminding everyone of the race tomorrow, Hawaii’s biggest event of the year. Mak felt sick. For him it wasn’t just a race. It was his life. He’d been preparing himself and Panai for three years.
That night, unable to sleep, he walked out into the night several times, feeling like the edge of darkness was within.
He wouldn’t go to the stables and check on Panai, lest he awaken Chico. His jockey needed to sleep. He kept telling himself that Panai was in perfect condition to win. He couldn’t even pray about it. How could he ask God to help him get revenge on a horse?
He had arranged for Inez, Jane, and Austin to ride in Mak’s surrey driven by Mr. Buckley. Rev. Russell would take his mother, Leia, Pilar, and Matilda.
Mak needed to go alone. He would need that regardless of the outcome, but particularly if his horse lost. But when he arrived and went to the holding area, they were all there—his friends and well-wishers.
“I’d like to quote a verse and pray,” Rev. Russell said. “It’s from Philippians. It goes something like this. ‘This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize.’ ”
Then he prayed. Not for Mak’s horse to win, but that it might be a good race for all concerned. Good clean entertainment. And for the Lord’s will to be done in everything. He prayed for Chico.
Chico?
Mak didn’t know if the reverend said
Amen
or not, but he almost shouted, “Where’s Chico?” The loudspeaker was saying they should take their places. The others looked around.
“He’ll probably be here any minute,” Rev. Russell said.
“He should be here now.” Mak took off running toward the stables.
Tomas was standing over Chico, who lay on the straw, curled up in a corner. His breath was ragged, his eyes squinted, and his face drenched with sweat.
“What’s going on?” Mak demanded.
“He needs a doctor.”
Mak motioned for a stable boy. “Son, run get a doctor.”
“No,” Chico got to his feet. “I’ll be all right.” His jaw was clenched, and Mak knew he was fighting pain. . .and losing.
A doctor rushed in from one of the ambulances always on hand at a race. He ordered them to move back. Tomas mentioned previous attacks. The doctor said, “It may be appendicitis.”
“Take his clothes off.”
Recognizing the voice, Mak turned and stared hard at Jane. The others stood around her, staring, too, as if she’d lost her mind.
“I’ll ride Panai.”
His laugh was short. “That doesn’t even deserve an answer.”
“Please. I can do it.”
“Mak,” Austin said, and for an instant, Mak thought he might have an ally. Instead, Austin affirmed, “If she says she can ride him, she can.”
Chico grunted as the doctor poked around his stomach. Between his gasps, he said, “Somebody has to, Mak. You know that. She may not be able to win, but she can ride him.”
Tomas confirmed that with a nod. “He’s right.”
And how would they know? He didn’t need to ask. Their sheepish looks told him they’d gone behind his back and let her ride alone. Realizing his hands were now fists, he unclasped them.
Why should he be so concerned about keeping Jane safe, when neither she nor those who claimed to love her, including her fiancé, didn’t? With a lift of his hands and a snort like a disgruntled horse, he stomped out.
He’d probably have ridden off if Leia hadn’t run after him and taken his hand. She looked up at him with pleading eyes. Her little lips trembled. “Daddy, Jesus will take care of Miss Jane. And Chico.”
Mak didn’t think he could stand it if God didn’t take care of them. And what would that do to his little girl, to a faith that had begun in her? Not long ago, she would have credited the Little People.
He led Leia to the seats reserved for racehorse owners. The others filed in behind him. Leia sat on one side of him and Austin on the other. A glance around revealed a full stadium and spectators crowded around the edges.
Mak felt like he had sea legs when he stood with the others for the singing of the national anthem. He didn’t attempt to join in.
After they were seated, the announcements began, followed by cheering. When he announced the black stallion Panai, son of the king’s horse Akim, ridden by a substitute jockey, Miss Jane Marie Buckley, Mak was shocked. Amid the applause and shouting, both Austin and Matilda stood and whistled through their teeth.
Leia looked, stuck her fingers in her mouth but the sound came out as “
Ffffff
fffffff
.”
He couldn’t begin to cheer at a time like this. It could be dangerous for the best of jockeys. His gaze scanned the riders. They looked like what they were—winning jockeys. Jane sat erect in Chico’s jockey suit, looking like an equestrienne who might have her horse jump over a two-foot hurdle.
As soon as the race started, he leaned over and held his face in his hands.
“Maybe I can catch a sunbeam and get this to shine in the eyes of the other horses,” Austin said.
Mak looked as Austin brought the ring out of his pocket. That was a good idea. Take off the rock. It would certainly decrease the weight. “Aren’t you afraid of what could happen?”
“Mak, I can’t control what happens.” Then he shoved the ring into his pocket. “I’ll be praying and cheering.”
Mak shook his head. “I don’t care about winning. I only care about her safety.” He gazed at the racetrack. It was no surprise that Akim was ahead from the beginning. Panai was midway. He stayed midway even when some horses passed him. He then passed another and eased to the outside.
Panai was easing on up. Mak knew his horse. A horse like Panai made racing look easy, and so could a jockey like Chico. Jane was doing well, even holding Panai back the way he’d done the day he let her ride with him.
Those around Mak were standing and cheering and yelling. “Come on, Jane! Come on, Jane!”
It dawned on him that nobody cheered for a jockey. They cheered for a horse, and usually one they’d bet on.
Austin said, “Look, she’s inching up.”
Mak got to his feet. He couldn’t yell. He heard his own pitiful whisper, “Jane.”
They were nose and nose, and the finish line was right ahead. Mother and son. Would one give in to the other? No, they were champions. The one who killed his wife. And the one who would have the revenge.
The crowd went wild.
He couldn’t tell which horse crossed the finish line first.
The announcer declared Panai the winner.
Mak sat down, put his hands over his face, and closed his eyes. This was the race that was to take away his grief and misery. Then why did he feel the way he did?
Austin sat down. “Hey, Mak. Did you see the finish?”
“Are they all right?”
“Look.”
Mak looked. Jane and Panai were in the winner’s circle. The announcement was still coming over the speaker. The princess was presenting her with the award. The king came from across the aisle, shook Mak’s hand and congratulated him.
“Shouldn’t we go down?” Austin asked.
“You go congratulate her,” Mak said.
“Not without you. It’s your horse and your jockey. And your Big Island Cup.”
Yes
, Mak thought.
And your fiancée
.
Jane watched Mak come into the winner’s circle, heard his name announced and the applause that followed. He came over to Panai while photos were being taken. Lifting his head slightly, he nodded toward Jane, as if in thanks. He stared at the camera but made no attempt to smile.
After the photos, he accepted congratulations with handshakes. He thanked everyone, then said he would go to the hospital and see about Chico. He would see them all later.
Maybe he wasn’t angry with her for riding, but he didn’t appear pleased about the win. Perhaps he was just concerned about Chico. Her displeasure with him turned to guilt when she realized she had not thought of Chico from the time she dressed in that jockey suit and began the ride of her life. . .again.
“Did I do wrong?” she asked her companions as they left the racetrack.
In unison, they answered no.
“You and Panai won the most important race of the island. And you did it against the king’s horse,” Rose said. “That’s what Mak has wanted for more than three years.”
Regardless of whether Mak was angry with her for riding Panai, he wasn’t thinking only of himself—he was concerned about Chico.
Much later, after returning home, bathing, and getting into comfortable clothes, Jane asked Austin if they could walk outside. They ambled out into the cool evening and went to the schoolyard, where Jane sat in a swing.
“Aren’t you exhausted, Jane?”
“I think I’m still excited,” she said. “But my emotions are so mixed. I’m elated, yet worried about Chico. I’m happy for Mak, but I’m not sure he is.”
“Jane,” Austin said, standing in front of her. “Let’s talk about. . .us.”
He took the diamond ring from his vest pocket. Jane looked down at her lap, where her right hand was folded over the left. She didn’t raise it. Neither did he.
The night breeze whispered in the coconut palms. The rope swing was still, but her heart was doing an unfamiliar dance. When she looked up at Austin’s disturbed expression, he said, “I have a confession to make.”
Jane waited.
“You know Rebecca,” he said.
“Rebecca?” Jane said. Rebecca. The one who got first place in equestrienne events. The twenty-four-year-old blond daughter of the president of Austin’s company. The girl who could never return to her carriage without Austin accompanying her. The one whose blue eyes seemed to turn green with envy when she saw Jane and Austin together. The one Jane didn’t want to get Austin—the top prize.
