Almost Never: A Novel (37 page)

When the meaningful Mass was over, the newlyweds were showered with a surfeit of dry rice. In the atrium: dual purity, purity in the sense that not even now wedded did they exchange even the tiniest of kisses, not anywhere. Renata didn’t want to; he did, for he felt happy and spontaneous. However—no! Understood! Understand, once and for all, the absolute freedom of privacy. Far from all the decorum, from the filthy familiar …

Not long now.

The honeymoon.

The escape.

The release.

May it be a long kiss without any applause.

In the face of Renata’s refusal, Demetrio—not a chance!—passed his right hand over his typical impeccably groomed groom’s hair, that is, all the hair combed back.

Patience—a toast!, more patience.

T
he food posed no problem. No reason it should when all was said and done. In the end people flowed naturally to the feast that would be offered, as announced, in the courtyard. One bridesmaid and one groomsman were in charge of letting everyone in: a steamy responsibility requiring supine tolerance—why them? Could be they were the first to have responded, yes, with a (timid) raising of an arm in response to the question—who? let’s see, two index fingers, as we must consider the fact that Renata’s sisters, their husbands, Doña Luisa, and Demetrio’s mother and second mother deserved a respite; the chores passed to others, in their entirety, after the main event (such a thorny achievement); the crucial part over, and the chairs, oh, we must say that the most important chairs and tables were for, yes—huh? we’ve already named them, and, well, the rest of the guests—how can we put it?: may the melee begin; those who arrived first and got a seat, and the rest left standing. Or rather: who told the last ones to arrive so late? In the end there were about fifty people without seats for the banquet. How unfortunate, such dining distress! once and for all let’s say it; the distress of watching and watching and waiting for one, two, maybe more speeches, the groom, one of the groomsmen, some of the mothers. But there was none of that, damn it. Just a large measure of noise (a continuous stream of trivialities) throughout the peaceable meal: the rustle of cutlery and dishes: sustained. And, taking advantage of the lapse while the chewing lasted, let’s mention that the marrying chaplain was not invited, perhaps the fact that he charged a fee for the Mass justified the slight. A hefty sum that actually did cause sorrow.

Apart from that we must say in all honesty that a lamb and a pig had been slaughtered the previous day. Even the blood of both was used to make the broth for the soup, that is (ahem), with the incomparable additions of onion and cilantro and
guapillas
and oregano. Numerous soup bowls, and so, soup spoons sui generis and pounds of the aforementioned garnishes. Dessert:
dulce de leche
candies, which were ordered a few days before. Here we will be more specific: they were
dulce de leche
cones (a bit messy … and there were even some left over), and it could be said that they were the most popular traditional sweets in Sacramento.

If we could look through a lens that would magnify this whole radius of people, we would train our sights with mordant delight on the changing expressions of the newlyweds, for the most part frowning, then a bit happier, also hesitant, all quite a sight. It seemed like the groom wanted to leave already and the bride, on the sly, told him to wait—how to attenuate such words, few and sharp? So he brought himself up short, quickly recovering his rigid equanimity. Worth mentioning that those waiting on the tables were an ad hoc combination of kin in the first and second degree, because the closer ones didn’t: not the sisters, their husbands, the two widows, nor the aunt, who’d been awarded the role of second mother; of course: those already mentioned: unscathed the whole banquet through. Monarchs for a few hours. And as far as the others went: their duty was to quickly find things: glasses, plates, cutlery, those necessities that run out one at a time.

Finally, and thanks to God, the party was coming to an end and the worst part began: the swath of precious embraces, the most annoying being the personal comments, for those offering congratulations felt they had the right to also offer advice to the man and the woman, both inexperienced in affective matters, which nobody ever knows anything about; tolerate, with a half smile, the outpourings, in themselves full of (almost spiraling) exaggerations expressed in poorly constructed sentences. Let’s add, as a final touch, that the few who remained in the courtyard—by that time the banquet was already waning—were the uncles who, in the company of the aunts, were waiting to see what … It was said, after jousting with several ideas, that the next day the nuptial cortege would leave for Piedras Negras. It was obvious that the blue truck, driven by Demetrio, would lead the way, with the still-virgin bride by Demetrio’s side. Behind would follow seven trucks: sentimental and important relatives, including Doña Luisa, who, naturally, would be the one to shed the most tears due to the departure, ah, of her last daughter. Surely the other relatives would shed a tear or two, but it was yet to be seen how many. Picture it: pickups, driving along, lasting aggravation all the way to Piedras Negras. An excessively long way with paved bits in 1949, especially near towns, but the most difficult stretches were miles of dirt road, not graded as they should be. Or rather: clouds of dust, let’s imagine them (an arousing oddity), which made the convoy quite conspicuous. Anyway, it must be said that they all agreed to leave Doña Luisa’s house very early the next morning so as to arrive in Piedras Negras before the sun went down. Correct, highly correct—yes? and now for the worst: Renata and Demetrio would not sleep together: the eventual breaking of the bond (now for the last and vague almost-never). A quick good-bye. This last-minute disappointing delay. A few hours. Time’s most lonely ones. In fact, the moment came to watch the scene when the newlyweds had to separate without wanting to: they did so slowly: an unlocking of hands, oh. And tomorrow the solution: tomorrow, yes!

S
uitcases in the bed of the blue pickup: only Renata’s and Demetrio’s, because the relatives would return to Sacramento as soon as they said good-bye to the green-eyed gal at the hotel in Piedras Negras. Clearly each truck would carry its own extra can of gasoline (as usual), and the simple task of filling eight such cylinders took time. More than two hours, to be precise. Let’s also add that there was a skinny man whose hair stood on end by the name of Manuel Soto Pizarro, who sold fuel informally and had a tank on the outskirts of Sacramento, one that was almost always full of the precious liquid because he almost always had very few sales, but when this ensemble journey came about: oh, my: what a windfall, for he got sold out. And this, then, is what followed: the caravan moving with proper slowness toward the border. A caravan led by Demetrio’s truck: impetuous modernity. A caravan seen off by a crowd of people of all ages, a true swarm staged in the main plaza, among which Doña Zulema and Doña Telma were seen, showing up momentarily and bidding an effusive good-bye. Squashed bodies: theirs, who at the last minute declined to make the trip … So futile, as well as an unforgettable hassle, for sure. Was that whole melodramatic course of events even worth it—no! too much lavish groaning. Better to think of Demetrio being happy with that rural lass, who was, among other things, skilled at culinary concoctions, and on to other issues, an omission that was also fortunate, no (grim, grown-up) guesswork there. Immediately crass would be the seven hours there and seven hours back, at the very least. The worst would be traveling (back) at night, onerous and, of course, sheer exhaustion would evoke bad thoughts. Hmm, just to think about those considerate relatives making the sacrifice for no reason—well! What Doña Telma did instead was say good-bye to Doña Zulema with a heartfelt hug. Both knew they might never see each other again. Returning alone to Parras: the mother, by train, yes, now for the imminent tedium, also the uncertainty of her intuition that whatever would befall her would not be so horrible. The good part is that Doña Telma would soon see if everything there was in order; she would have to pray the whole way for it to be so. In fact, when she left Sacramento she knew that a new chapter in her life had begun. Something reductive and red. The seed of a precursory idea, yet to see how it would germinate …

S
eesawing, constant shiftings, wishes cut short, a sudden braking and a sudden brutal acceleration. Thus the pace. Let’s call them “capitular jumps,” which made the trip one of constant renewal (so to speak) from one surprise to the next.

Renata, feeling like a very tender wife, wanted to cling to Demetrio’s arm. We could say that he drove with one hand, the skillful devil, believe it or not. He freed himself from her grip only to change gears:
One moment,
many
one moment
s, and she allowed him the moment.

There were lapses in their conversation, which, if they could be drawn, would be shaped like protuberances, something that rose oblong, and oblong descended, the peak being two or three vigorous sentences, then a waning, for the emotions seemed to have a high degree of ephemeral intensity and … the silence lasted … and new waves, new protuberances and … Out of everything they talked about during the trip, we will highlight the following:

“Listen, my love,” Demetrio began, “I need to tell you something.”

“What? Dearest. Tell me,” said his beloved.

“When we move to Parras, we’ll have our own room in my mother’s house.”

“We are going to live with your mother?”

“For a little while. I figure about two months.”

“What about our privacy?”

“Our room is very private, and my mother is very discreet, more than you can ever imagine. In addition, I am making so much money at the pool hall that we will soon have an enormous house on the outskirts of Parras. I can even promise you that.”

“I will go wherever you take me. But I want privacy. A lot of privacy.”

“Really?”

“Yes, yes. Don’t forget that.”

Demetrio turned and planted a solid kiss on her cheek. Explosive surprise. She wiped off the bit of saliva left by the furtive smear: her fingers were trembling.

“Don’t do that again. Wait till we get to the hotel in Piedras Negras.”

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Penitence. Repressive feints. Desire on the verge. Insidious respect, still. How much longer till … ? Pain below. Pain above. Pain—where?

“You can’t wait, can you?”

“To tell the truth, no … I want, I want …”

“Me too, but you must understand …”

G
lorious, exuberant, incredible arrival. The trucks were parked along the width of the country hotel, strategically placed. An event that was—inimitable? The cream-colored building in question was two stories high, though fairly imposing. An outstretched building. Modernity in the countryside, for Piedras Negras was still about two miles away. That is, the circulating air mussed the hair. Well—why did Demetrio choose this place? Had he been here before? According to what the newlyweds discussed on the way, they were going somewhere far away from any city thicket. Supposedly they would find something somewhat like paradise, and they found it and very evident it was … Demetrio’s lucky star, et cetera … Now let’s watch the crucial scene: the big guy got out of the truck, tucked in his shirt, and went in to request a room for himself and his wife. This action was watched by the accompanying kin, who were no longer sitting and waiting but rather had placed their feet on the ground (heads like pennants), including Doña Luisa, who began to cry a little.

Renata was the only one who remained seated. She didn’t want to get out. Instead, she cracked her knuckles, so anxious was she for her husband to get a room. Meanwhile she thought:
Will it hurt when he sticks it in, or the opposite?
A few minutes later she thought:
This very day I will lose my virginity.
And a little later:
My mother never told me anything about the sexual act. Everything will be new for me.
Finally, about fifteen minutes later, Demetrio sauntered out and made a gesture with his hands—what did he want? Yes, they should unload the suitcases, there was a room, a beautiful one overlooking the road and the tilled fields beyond. And Renata got out and offered to help. She raised her hand to say good-bye to her gawking kin, who nevertheless didn’t leave, who watched as she entered the building behind Demetrio, who was carrying everything. Outside, the remnants of stoicism. So many gentlemen, so many ladies, all with long faces. Some with more tears than others. A frenetic gathering. It’s just that Renata was on the verge of losing … that’s already been said—and what would it be like? What kind of wild dumping inside—a lot? Not to even think about the cruelest of the cruel. Perhaps first there would be a more sentimental wave good-bye. In fact, the cry spread; cries in the open air; many, of many. A few of those outside were just smoking and staring. Others, farther away, were smoothing out the shapeless dirt. Otherwise: motel, depravity, the dusk that colors and discolors, here and there … Then: if you like, imagine the naked heat: minutes, attrition, more and more. Though first Renata had something to do. Imagine the nature of the wait. Then it happened. After they’d settled into the room, Renata said to Demetrio:
Wait a minute.
She walked over to the window and opened the curtains wide. In front of her was the array of trucks and the relatives posted next to them. It was getting late. Renata lifted her hand and began to move it from side to side; those below, watching, mimicked her. A total, grandiose good-bye. You should have seen the people crying as they moved their arms. More and more movement over here and over there, until the trucks started to depart. A reluctant row—perhaps?—: slow going, and once everybody had left, Renata kept waving good-bye: indefatigable oscillation of her arm that Demetrio observed from a chair. When supposedly nobody was left to say good-bye to, this deduced from the distance of the motors, the anxious wife closed the curtain and now finally …