Almost Lovers (19 page)

She smiled at me and continued to laugh. I
kept holding my head and shrugged, groggy still and unsure how
everything around me seemed to be falling apart.

"I have no idea," I said, beginning to laugh
a little at myself as well, "And Sebastian and I are over too, so
it's all going ...swimmingly,"

Penelope shook her head but kept her
smile.

"You’re borderline worthless," said
Penelope.

It hurt, hearing her say that. I knew she
couldn't mean it. I had been a valuable asset in the past. I could
still prove valuable in the future.

"Well," I said, trying to think of something
to better explain all the forces working against me, "It's not as
if the court is exactly the same. I mean, since when does the Queen
keep a pet human? Since when does a loyal lap-dog Prince decide he
would rather marry a human than me? And how is it that the Queen is
so wrapped up in her goings on that she doesn't even care? I
mean...the court is upside-down!" I closed my mouth then, realizing
I had probably laid it on too thick. Saying it out loud, it seemed
ridiculous that I had so many problems because of a human.

I swallowed hard as the Master continued to
stare at me, her hand on her chin with that stiff and intimidating
smile on her face. Her eyes squinted down at me and I felt the
staring - the tension. Maybe I hadn't explained how silly the
entire situation had been. It made me sound weak, incompetent. She
might stake me in my own living room just to tie up a loose end. We
had a friendship but it wasn't as if I wasn't expendable. A
liability is a liability. Even I knew that.

"A human pet," mumbled Penelope, "and you
say Sebastian has hinted at marrying her?"

I nodded, swallowing my nerves and trying to
appear calm and collected.

"Yeah, well," my mouth felt too dry to even
swallow let alone talk, "The Queen swears she had no idea but she
didn't exactly come out and condemn the idea,"

"What did she say?" asked Penelope, sitting
next to me and taking my hands in her own lap.

"I..." I tried to remember exactly what she
said but was drawing a blank on the exact words, "...I had been so
furious it's hard to remember but the Queen had basically asked me
not to tell anyone and that she would talk to Sebastian and sort it
all out,"

"No excuses? Nothing like that?" asked
Master.

"No," I said, shaking my head.

My head slowed in my shaking as I recalled
what the conversation had actually been about.

"Well...unless you mean, like, her pointing
out that he was probably just saying things to make me jealous," I
wasn't sure if that was what she was looking for.

Penelope nodded for a moment, looking as
though she were lost in thought, and then patted my hands, smiling
at me.

"I think that settles it," said
Penelope.

I nodded in agreement. I waited for her to
say something else, to say what to do next or what my punishment
would be.

"Settles what?" I asked. Terrified at what
she might say after the mess I had created.

"If the human girl had said anything you
would already be dead, right?" Penelope asked.

I nodded. The Queen would have issued a
death warrant immediately. I would have been staked where I lay, no
trial.

"Then the problem is the human girl," said
Master, "No girl, no problem,"

My eyes lit up. Doubt set in almost
immediately.

"There is no telling if she's told the Queen
yet," I said, slumping.

Master opened the door and I followed her
out into the hallway.

"Do you smell that?" asked Penelope, “It
smells like…”

The scent was leading away from Prussia's
apartment and out of the building. It had been recent, in the past
twenty minutes.

"It’s Prussia…," I said, "...and
Robert,"

I didn't mind the thought of hunting Robert.
He had served his purpose. What I wanted even more than Robert
would be Prussia. I looked at my Master. Her fangs were down. I
knew she wouldn't want to lose the scent. I dropped my fangs and
smiled at Penelope.

"Let's have some fun," said Penelope, an
evil smile spread across her face and the hunt began.

I kept my eyes on Lydia's apartment door the
entire time I spent trying to open my own door. It's amazing to me
that a door can be so hard to open when you're terrified out of
your mind. The door felt locked but I knew I hadn’t locked it.

As soon as I got the door open I ran into my
apartment. I kept a hold on to the door knob as I slid across the
hard floor. Once I went as far as the door would let me. I flipped
around and slammed the door closed as fast as I could and took a
step back, looking at the closed door. Never had I ever been so
glad to be in my apartment.

“Surprise,” he said, “Are you okay?”

I nearly screamed, thinking I had been
alone. I stared at him with wide, shocked eyes.

Robert stood to the side of the front door
staring at me in confusion. He must have come home when I was in
Lydia’s apartment and locked the door while I was out. And then he
must have unlocked it when he heard me trying to open the door.

"Hi," I said, breathless with no clue what
else to say.

"Are you okay?" he repeated, reaching a hand
out to touch my arm gently, concern on his face.

That calmed me. Even if I had just committed
accidental murder, he cared. He cared about me in this moment and
it made my heart skip a beat.

"Of course," I said, trying to smile and
catch my breath.

"Okay," he said, slow and confused, "because
you sound like someone has been chasing you. And I saw your car
outside. I thought you would be here but...somehow, you were here
but you weren't..."

I tried to think fast and all I did was get
a migraine. I had to come up with something. I bent over and rested
a hand on my knees, trying to catch my breath and garner a little
sympathy for some added time to think.

"Did you run up the stairs or something?" he
asked.

I looked up at him from where I was bent
over, head almost between my knees and started to straighten up. My
initial surprise replaced with confidence.

"Yes," I said, "Yes, I thought I would give
running the stairs a try,"

"Well," he said, eyebrows going up, "You
don't need it if that's what you're wondering,"

He looked at me and there was an awkward
pause for a minute. Was he complimenting me? Did that count as a
compliment? I smiled and then he started to laugh lightly and I
joined in. I had forgotten how quick he could be with a line or
two.

"Hey, I know you just got in and everything,
but," Robert pointed toward the door, "I was wondering if you
wanted to take a walk and talk, like old times,"

I couldn't be sure because I hadn't caught
mine yet but it looked as though he was holding his breath. Had it
been the car? Had that been what had pushed him over the top? I
hadn't really seen him jealous…ever. Just the whole cooking thing
which had been a little strange but still nice. I fidgeted with my
hair and realized I probably looked a little unkempt after fighting
in the kitchen and dragging a body down the hall and all.

"Really?" I asked, "At this time of
night?"

As much as I wanted to be away from our
apartment and away from Lydia's apartment, a resounding piece of
advice was ringing through my ears about not going out walking late
in the evening and it was pretty late.

"Are you worried?" Robert asked,
surprised.

"I just," I tried to find the words without
bringing up Sebastian but after a moment I realized it wasn't going
to happen, "I met Sebastian on the jogging trails," I blurted out,
"He…saved me from some random guy attacking me," I said
sheepishly.

His face was unchanged for a moment and then
he smiled, "Don't worry," said Robert, "I won't let anything happen
to you,"

I smiled at him. Robert opened the door and
looked to me to see if I would be joining him. I peered out into
the hallway and the desire to be away from Lydia's apartment
overwhelmed my uneasiness about being out at night. After all, it's
not as if I would be alone. I smiled and took Robert by the arm,
shoring up my confidence, and we left.

I enjoyed the quiet of the night and I felt
my uneasy nerves abide as we walked. We walked in silence at first,
until we got to the trails.

"Am I too late?" he blurted out.

We stopped walking on the path almost before
we had begun. He had surprised me. I had hoped that he wanted to
talk about us, about the possibility of us getting back together
but I never dreamed he would just come out and say it. I thought it
would be something gradual.

"Too late?" I repeated back to him, unsure
what to say to that.

"You say you're just friends with that guy-"
said Robert.

"Sebastian," I offered.

"Right, Sebastian," said Robert, annoyed,
"You say you're just friends with him but you're always out
together and now he's buying you a car and-"

"That's for my job," I said, interrupting to
make sure he didn't get the wrong idea.

Robert looked at me as if I was slow.

"The job he got you," said Robert.

I hadn't really looked at it like that
before. Sebastian had done a lot for me, even saving my life and at
one point helping me make Lydia furious which backfired somewhat. I
wrung my hands, realizing what Robert must have thought.

"You spend so much time with Lydia and I
just wanted-" I started to say that I had wanted him to know what
it felt like. I'm so glad Robert interrupted me.

"Lydia?" asked Robert, pausing a moment and
then letting out a laugh, "You know I would always choose you over
anyone else, especially Lydia,"

He gave me that casual sideways grin as if I
had been acting silly. He always made me feel like I had been
acting silly when he looked at me that way. And that's exactly how
I felt now except the nagging fact that he hadn’t seemed at all
upset when we
broke up
and he just went right off with
Lydia.

"You and Lydia didn't sleep together, then?"
I asked, fussing with my nails absentmindedly instead of wringing
my hands. I concentrated hard on his answer, hopeful that he would
say no.

"Is that what this has all been about?" he
asked, stepping back a few steps and grabbing my shoulders gently
to hold me in front of him, giving me a deep and concerned look,
"If Lydia is the problem..."

He trailed off and his eyebrows were up,
expecting me to say something I assumed.

"I think she's definitely the center of
most
of our problems-," I said.

"Done," said Robert, matter of fact,
beginning to walk down the path once more and pausing long enough
for me to catch up and walk beside him.

"Done?" I asked, confused at how the
conversation had sort of breezed over the entire Lydia
situation.

"Lydia is done," said Robert, "She's gone,
finished, forever. Just you and me," he put an arm around my
shoulders and we walked squished together. He looked down at me
with those soft eyes and pretty eyelashes fanning around them. He
smiled at me and I knew he was going to kiss me then.

"Just you and me," I murmured back as our
lips touched.

It had worked. All I could think as his lips
pressed hard against my mouth was that it had worked. Sebastian had
worked. And I had a pang of regret for what this would mean for
Sebastian and me. What would this mean for my job? I felt selfish
as I tried to think of ways I could simply avoid Sebastian but keep
my job and the most amazing car I had ever driven in my life.

Robert pulled his lips away from mine with a
smile across his face. I smiled back at him, naturally, but my mind
had nothing but worries. I knew Robert and I could have a fantastic
life together. But every time I thought about us now, my mind was
pulled to images of Sebastian with that beautiful smile of his.

I hated myself for it. Kissing Robert, being
in the arms of Robert, but the guilt and the shame of thinking of
another man. I tried not to let it show in my eyes. I tried to hold
on to this moment that I had wanted for so long. Lydia was finally
out of our lives. It was just us.

"How about we get out of here," said Robert,
nodding his head down the path, "curl up on the sofa and find
something boring to watch?"

"Sounds...perfect," I said, remembering all
the times Robert and I had curled up on that sofa and watched rerun
after rerun.

And like any guilt, that memory of Sebastian
and me on the sofa came back to me, that light and gentle kiss
haunting me like a perfect nightmare. I tried to keep my smile. And
to my relief Robert didn’t seem to notice. He just smiled back.