Almost a Cowboy (29 page)

“What the hell was wrong with him? Why would he do it?”

“Been thinking that myself, believe me.” Utah spun his empty glass around and around in his fingers. “I can’t figure it out.”

“I thought I knew him, but now… Damn.” Gunn’s face pinched with pain.

Utah met his gaze. “I understand.”

A beat of silence passed. “What about these other kids? Tell me their names. Where do they live? Who raised them? Did Pa provide for them?”

The corner of Utah’s mouth tipped up at all the questions. When the story came from him, it was slow. He stumbled over the telling of meeting with Bennett and Aurora. He skimmed over Hays and his obvious fury. Camden and Emma had been much easier to talk about.

As he related information about Jefferson, he found it difficult to convey the connection he’d felt with the man.
Maybe that’s best.
In the past decade he couldn’t help but realize how much he’d missed out on with Gunnison.

But talking about Franklin was damn near impossible. Their moments in the museum office tormented Utah.

When he finished talking, Gunnison poured them both another shot. They downed it and set their glasses on the table in unison. Gunn blew out a low whistle. “Good thing you’ve had Caroline with you to offset the shocks of this trip. It hasn’t been a church picnic for you.”

Utah’s heart leaped into his throat at mention of her. He dumped more whiskey into his glass and drew it to his lips. “I’m not sure I do have her.”

Gunnison shook his head slightly. “When you came to the ranch, it seemed like your relationship had taken up where you’d left off.”

He swallowed the fiery liquid, feeling the first effects of the alcohol really slam him. A buzz took up residence in his brain. He opened his mouth and hoped he was speaking clearly.

“At first I thought we’d rekindled our relationship too. But she’s pulled away. She won’t talk to me, is cold and stiff.”

A grin lit Gunn’s features. “What’d you do to piss her off?”

Utah shook his head. “No idea. She’s hiding something, or she’s battling something. I’m not sure which.”

“Maybe both.”

At his brother’s knowing tone, he said, “Out with it.”

Gunn sipped this shot. “Her ex was an alcoholic and abusive, from what I hear. Caroline has some skeletons in her closet, I’d guess.”

“Damn.” He’d heard rumors too. And her mother had hinted at Caroline’s rocky marriage. Still, Utah didn’t want to believe he’d allowed it to happen. He’d walked away from the love of his life and left her to be abused?

He clenched his fists, chest burning with anger. “Where is this guy?”

“Not sure. He left town with another woman, I think. Why—you gonna kick his ass?”

“If I saw him, I’d put a bullet in him and call him a trespasser.” The dark tone in which he spoke sobered him and Gunn both.

Gunn brought him back from his brutal musings. “Do you think Caroline loves you?”

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation.

“Have you asked her to marry you?”

No wonder she hates the idea of marriage. Hell, even commitment would make her stomach twist.

Understanding more about her past made him realize he couldn’t just ask her to marry him. From what Gunnison said, she’d been in a hellish place. She wouldn’t happily jump into it again. It also explained a lot about the new wall she’d built around herself.

She was really the harder woman he kept telling himself she wasn’t. He’d thought her his old sweet Caroline, but she hadn’t lived in limbo for a decade like him. His life had simply been on hold.

He shook his head. Then talk turned to Clinton and his little wife, Maddy. They had a little girl and a baby boy. Gunnison thought they might have a whole basketball team of kids by the time they were finished because they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

“I’m happy for him,” Utah said. He eyed his brother. “What about you? Someone special in your life?”

Gunnison let his gaze drop. “It’s difficult to find what I’m lookin’ for. Especially in our town.”

Utah tipped the last of his whiskey into his mouth. “Why is that?”

Gunnison stared at him for a long minute, eyes burning with an intensity Utah had never seen before in the man.

“Gunn?”

“I’m gay, brother. What I want is a man in my bed.”

•●•

Gunnison’s revelation hadn’t kept Utah up all night—a man named Jack Daniels did. At least he hadn’t puked—yet.

Cracking his eye, he looked at Caroline in the other bed. She lay rigidly, and he knew she was awake. The early morning light filtered through the cheap window blinds and highlighted the gold tones in her hair.

Too late, he realized returning to the hotel lit up on whiskey wasn’t the way to make amends with her. Especially after learning more about her abusive and alcoholic ex.

“I know you’re awake.” His voice sounded as if he’d gargled nails.

“I know you are too.” She opened her eyes and met his gaze.

He hated that she’d gotten a room with two beds. Was it on purpose, or only what was available?

“Caroline—”

“You’d better get cleaned up and brush your teeth. Though I don’t think that will strip away the smell of whiskey on you. You’re meeting with Alexandria in the park.”

He bolted upright and nearly died from the pain in his skull. A small elf with a pickaxe was inside, hammering at his brain. He clutched his head and groaned.

Caroline flounced out of bed and slammed herself into the bathroom.

Now I’m in for it.
He got out of bed slowly, taking care not to set his feet down too hard. What he needed was coffee. And some water. Maybe another shot. Didn’t they say more alcohol was the cure for a hangover?

He reached the bathroom door and knocked lightly. Even that noise made him cringe. “Baby, open up to me. I’m an idiot, and I’m sorry.”

“You’re an idiot,” she agreed in a muffled voice.

“Listen, I know about your ex. Why didn’t you tell me?”

The door flew open, and he was faced with one furious woman. Her hair had been released from a ponytail and flew around her head in wild disarray, and she had a toothbrush stuffed in her mouth. Foam coated her lips.

She was sexy as hell. His cock gave a hard jerk in his jeans, which he’d slept in. Hell, he’d only managed to take off his boots before falling into bed in a miserable heap.

“I’m not discussing my ex with you or anyone else. If you know what’s good for you, you won’t bring him up again.”

Utah crowded into the bathroom, reaching for her. She wedged herself between the sink and toilet, brushing her teeth with such fervor, she probably wouldn’t have a whole lot of enamel left when she finished.

“Baby, I’m sorry, and I’ll go slow in this. I want you to tell me in your own time.”

She spat and glared at him. “You’re gonna be nothing but bones in a grave if you’re waiting on that. Now shut up, Utah, and get that reek of alcohol off you.”

His balls shrank up at her tone. More contrite than he’d been at ten years old after his mother’s tongue-lashing, he brushed his teeth while Caroline stripped and got into the shower. He couldn’t keep his shaft from shoving his fly when he watched her golden backside disappear behind the curtain.

He hurried through brushing his teeth and got out of his clothes faster than he’d ever thought possible with his head pulsing like a bass drum.

When he twitched the curtain back, she yanked it shut again. Right in his face.

He laughed. He couldn’t help it.

“What the hell are you laughing at, Utah Davies?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m full of I’m sorries today.”

“Don’t think about getting in this shower with me.”

He gripped the vinyl curtain and pulled it back. Before she could spit another warning, he shoved inside the small space with her. She hugged the wall, hair dripping and soapy, eyes wide and angry.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“You can’t flatter your way out of this.”

He trailed a finger down her neck to the tip of her breast. Water and bubbles parted around his finger. He held her gaze, letting her see all the remorse inside him. “I know you’re sensitive about drinking, and I’ll take that into consideration from now on. But this was a different sort of drinking.”

She slapped his hand away and dunked her head in the water.

Planting his hands on her waist, he dipped his head under the spray too. He pressed his lips to hers and tugged her against his body. Arousal burst in his veins, taking over the feeling of lethargy and sickness left by overconsumption.

She tried to pull away, but he poked his tongue into her mouth. Gasping, she gave him full entrance. He swiped her tongue gently, easing her into the kiss. She trembled against him, and he hated himself more for sending her back in time with his alcohol abuse.

When he withdrew from the kiss, they were both panting.

“You’re not forgiven.”

“No? What if I do this?” He slipped his hand down her belly right to the smooth skin of her mound.

“Nope.”

“This?” He eased a finger into her seam and found her swollen button.

Crying out, she sagged in his hold as if she’d been waiting all night for him to touch her this way. He took her mouth again as he swirled his finger around and around her clit. When he drew moans from her, he splayed his fingers and sank his middle one into her tight sheath.

She bucked against him. Passion roared in his head. Crushing her against the wall, he nudged her thighs apart to gain better access. Again and again he sent his finger into her pussy while teasing her nubbin with his thumb.

Shaking and on the verge of release, she opened her mouth under his and gave him everything he could ever need. Juices spilled over his hand. He pushed back the hood covering her clit and found her core. When he rubbed it gently, she burst.

Contractions rocketed up his arm to his shoulder as she came apart around him. Cream soaked his fingers, and his cock throbbed, but he wasn’t going to take his ease. He needed to show her that yes, he’d drunk too damn much, but he was not her ex. He’d give her pleasure and leave it at that.

Her raspy breaths filled the shower. As he slowed his ministrations, he ran his free hand down her spine over and over. She gave a final shudder and collapsed against him.

“I love you, baby.”

She didn’t say it back, but that was okay too. He’d get it from her eventually.

Pulling his finger free of her body, he stared into her tumultuous gaze. “What happened last night between me and Gunn wasn’t about drinking.”

Something slid behind her eyes. She sank her teeth into her lower lip. “No?”

He grabbed the bar of hotel soap and began to lather her body. She let him, standing still and wide-eyed. “It was brothers bonding. We talked a lot, Caroline. I learned a lot of things about my brother.”

“Such as?”

“Well, for one, he’s gay. That one I didn’t expect.”

She didn’t respond.

He met her gaze. “You knew.”

“Not exactly. I hear things. I
am
a journalist, remember. I’m used to listening hard to what people aren’t saying.”

He turned her into the water and rinsed her off and then began to wash her hair. She tipped her head into his hands, his sweet trusting woman again. “You’re obviously damn good at getting information too. You found Alexandria.”

The lines of her back tensed. “It wasn’t the easiest conversation, Utah. Her mother…I…well, I wished you were there.”

He smiled to himself and took his time holding strands of her hair under the water. “I’ll take care of it.”
I’ll take care of all of you.
“Baby, let’s start over.”

•●•