Allie's War Season Three (147 page)

Feeling him pull on me for the answer, I blanked my mind, at least of details. When I shrugged, glancing up at him, I felt his pain change, holding a denser strain of jealousy, that time, dark enough that I flinched. He avoided my gaze briefly, then shook his head, clicking.

"Ditrini," he said finally.

I clicked back at him. "Revik. Not now. Seriously. You need to cut it out...or I’m done. We either talk about that, or do this. Not both."

Revik's eyes remained hard as glass, even after I tugged on his arm. He returned my gaze, long enough that I saw him fighting it. That anger continued to coil around his light, however, and I heard it in his voice when he finally spoke, his accent prominent.

"...Are you going to show me?" he said, gesturing with one hand. "You said you would. Before. Please."

Still gauging his face, I put my palm to his chest, pushing on him as I sent an impulse for him to sit. He lowered his weight to the couch, and I felt pain on him even as that anger wove into it, confusing what came off of his light. I continued to watch his expression as I climbed into his lap, sitting astride him. His eyes closed as I settled myself on his legs, and then I was caressing the tattoo on his arm, sliding my fingers down to the first one he'd shown me, of the 'H' symbol and barcode on his inner arm.

When I slid light into my fingers, tugging at his...on his hands, in his chest, his throat, everywhere I could still feel him tensing under that harder anger...he let out a half-frustrated gasp, fighting me with his aleimi.

"Show me," he said. "Please, Allie."

I felt another flush of jealousy on him as he said it, a flash of Ditrini's face from that boat in San Francisco. I didn't answer that, either, but sent a warmer pulse of light, even as I kept my mind carefully blank around anything to do with Ditrini or my time living with the Lao Hu.

But Revik was pulling on me again.

"Show me," he said, his voice more contrite. "Please. You promised."

I moved deeper into his lap, letting my hands slide down his back. That time, I focused on his left side, under the lowest of his ribs, a few inches from his spine.

"It's harder to find on us," I told him, kissing his jaw. "...That's why no one probably found it on you," I added, pulling on him lingeringly with my light, feeling him react even as his head tilted back, resting on the back of the couch. "It's pretty far from the surface of our skin, so you have to really feel it out..."

As I spoke, I found the spot I was referencing with my fingers, and he let out a cry, even as his arms clasped my back. Sliding light through my fingers, I pressed harder at the cluster of nerves there, and the cry turned into a drawn-out groan, from deeper down in his chest. I felt him abruptly on the verge of coming and clenched my light around his, stopping him, even as he let out a lower sound, pulling me hard against him.

"You really are fucking killing me..." he said, closing his eyes. "Between the men who obsess on you and my own damned light..."

He clamped his arms tighter around my back when I continued to explore that nexus of nerves and light. Then his hands were on me, on the same side of my body. His fingers moved deftly over muscle, skin and bone. I felt light in his hands as he read me, looking for what I'd done so he could copy it.

When his fingers found the same spot on me, my back arched involuntarily, and I caught hold of his hand.

"Wait..." I managed. "Wait...please. I won't last if you do that..."

"Ye of little faith," he murmured, kissing my throat.

I felt a more pleased flicker in his light, though.

I gasped out a laugh when he clutched me tighter, but I was already in his light again, fighting to get him to retract, using all of my light to tug on his. When he understood what I was doing, he relaxed into the couch, still caressing my side.

He pulled me down to kiss me, and by the time I got his body to pull back, both of us were sweating and he was groaning again, tugging on my hips to position me over him. When I angled down on him, his arm tightened on my back and shoulder. I found myself gripping his hair, maybe in some misguided attempt to control him.

It felt like months since we'd done this...or maybe I still wasn't used to him at all yet, at least not like this, not with all of his light. Within seconds, I found myself tensing to avoid losing control, even as I pulled on him harder.

"It's different," I managed. "...You feel different. Is it different for you?"

"Yes." His eyes closed. He caught hold of my hips as he changed the angle of his body, arching into me harder. "Yes..."

Pain blanked out my mind, and I pulled away, almost leaving him entirely.

His body went soft under me as I pushed him again to let me control things, but I could feel his pain worsen the more he fought to relax. Within minutes, we were moving together harder, and he groaned again, right before his arm forced me all the way against him.

I realized he wanted to extend and stopped him, tightening my hold on his light.

He cried out in frustration, right before his fingers found that spot on my back, digging into the cluster of nerves even as he flooded so much light into my skin that I let out a yell. I came involuntarily, crying out again, and he groaned, extending into me as I felt another flood of that emotion, whatever I'd felt when we were riding up on the elevator. His eyes glowed brighter as he slowed, just long enough to dig his fingers into my side again.

I came again, even more intensely that time...and for a long moment some part of me went away, losing touch with the room.

When I came back, he was watching me, pain in his expression. I pulled his hand off me before he could do it again, still struggling to breathe.

I was going to have to get better at controlling his light, now that I’d shown him that.

He laughed, sweating as he leaned his face against the back of the couch.

Somewhere in that, he'd pulled me down beside him, pinning me to my back. A memory hit him, of me lying there before, of feeling pain on me as I opened my light. Holding me down with one hand, he grabbed the back of the couch with the other. I felt that other thing in his aleimi again, that shocking openness as the light unclenched in his chest.

His eyes glowed brighter, right before his fingers dug back into my side. He put more light into his cock, making me lose control again.

His pain hit me harder as I was coming down off that.

I felt purpose behind his light though, and behind his body. I realized what he was doing as he continued trying to coerce more of my light to open. His arm wound around my back, and I honestly wasn't sure if I'd ever felt that much pain on him, except maybe when we woke up from that coma-like sleep. He gripped my hair as I thought it, fighting to get me to open more.

I tried to help him that time, but when I did, he only gave a low cry, shaking his head.

"Let me do it," he begged. "Please...you can't help me with this..."

Relenting, I angled my body towards his instead, losing myself in sensation. His reaction was intense...and immediate...his pain slamming into me until I couldn't breathe. I dug my hands into his back and arm, wrapping a leg around him as he held me down forcibly. That time, he massaged that cluster of nerves again and again, until my light turned to liquid, until I really did lose all sense of where I was.

I felt him lose control completely, somewhere in that, but he still held me tightly as I let myself go into it, until it was no longer pain, but...something else.

When I came back, he was still spasming over me, his eyes shockingly bright with light, his body moving involuntarily. I felt love on him, a flood of heat difficult to feel in its entirety, even as the rest of him turned densely affectionate, his fingers caressing my arms and hands as he kissed my face and neck.

For a long couple of minutes, I could only lay there, trying to wrap my head around what I felt in his light. He kissed me through it, leaving himself open enough that he must have felt me scanning him again. He stroked my face and hair and body, his tongue warm on my skin. He pulled on me for affection, for anything I would give him, until it grew so strong I found myself fighting tears, barely able to breathe. I felt another surge of pain on him during those moments that emotion overwhelmed us both, mixed with that deeper intensity of love.

When that turned into another erection, and his hands tightening on my hips, I let out a choked laugh. I laughed harder when I saw the images accompanying his thoughts.

"Now
you want a shower?" I murmured, fingering hair out of his face.
"Now
you decide I smell like vomit...?"

"Only a little," he said, smiling back.

His light was still so soft I couldn't stop touching him. I wrapped my leg further around his waist as he resettled against me. He propped his jaw on a palm, looking down at me.

"...Both of us smelling better is just a bonus," he said. "Really, I was thinking about sex against the shower wall, if you want the truth."

"I gathered that," I said, caressing his side. "Are you going to tell me what that
was,
first?"

"Which part?" he said.

I laughed, tugging on his hair. "You," I said. "The
you
part. Your eyes are still glowing. Your light is all over the place. You tried to coerce me into group sex down there, and you’ve never tried to coerce me into anything sexual before...even when you were Syrimne." I kissed his mouth, still pulling on him with my light. "You're like...I don't know. A searchlight right now. A really horny, ethically-challenged and emotionally volatile searchlight..."

"You know we're still re-bonding, right?" he said. Avoiding my question, he kissed me again. "...Your eyes are glowing, too, by the way. I can't tell you how much that turns me on..." He slid his fingers into my hair, caressing my face with his. "...Honestly, I'm not even sure why. It's beautiful, but it's more than that." Smiling ruefully, he shook his head. "It makes me possessive, too. More so, I mean. Like I need another reason..."

Diversions aside, I knew what he meant. I had a similar reaction when his eyes glowed. It was even more intense when I watched him use the telekinesis.

I caressed his arm again, looking at the tattoo as I shifted to my side.

"You do feel different," I said again. Letting him know I wasn’t giving him a free pass on the diversion thing, either, I made my voice chiding. “...You’re going to have to tell me pretty soon, you know, husband. Whatever it is.”

He closed his eyes, resting his head against the couch's back cushion. "I will, Allie. I just can’t right now...but I will.” Gasping a little when I started caressing him again, he let his body grow heavier on mine. “As for the rest of it, I think it started before,” he said after a pause. “...even when I was still working for Salinse. I think my connection to the Dreng slowed it down some, but didn't stop it entirely. I remember worrying that I was getting more irrational around you, not less. And I was thinking about sex pretty much all the time..."

"And now?" I said, stroking his chest.

"It's worse," he admitted. "I have to watch it, Allie...I've been fighting a stronger reaction to Jaden than maybe I've been telling you." Pausing, he added, "I don't like him. I'm pretty sure you knew that. But truthfully, it's more than that."

"How much more?" I said cautiously.

He shrugged, his eyes flat.

Watching him for a few seconds more, I let the bewilderment grow audible in my voice. "Revik, I never figured you gave Jaden much thought at all. Everything was so different back then...Jaden feels like forever ago to me now."

"You lived with him for
six years,
Alyson." He raised his head, his accent prominent, his voice holding more than a thread of irritation that time. "I was
there
for all of those years, remember? You get jealous of prostitutes. What if you'd been hanging around while Elise and I were married, watching us get it on every night...?" Feeling me tense, he nodded, as if I'd just made his point. "...And we were only married
four
years, by the way. Most of the last two, I was away...fighting a war." His jaw hardened as he looked up at the ceiling. "Honestly? I can barely stand to be in the same room with the son of a bitch."

I found myself thinking about his words. If he was feeling possessive, that actually explained a few things. I resumed stroking his skin, kneading his muscles with my fingers. After thinking a bit longer, though, I smacked him sharply on the chest.

He looked up, surprised.