Allegiant (20 page)

I stare at him in disbelief. “What do you
mean no?”

“
We need to talk,” he
says.

I shoot him an irritated look. Since he
isn’t carrying my cell, it must be in one of his pockets. I step
forward, reaching for his left jacket pocket, and he sidesteps me.
I quickly change direction and go for his other side, but his hand
swiftly catches my wrist. I instantly try to pull away, but he
holds on to it firmly. I give him a stern look. “Let me go.”

“
Not until we
talk.”

“
I have nothing to say to
you.”

One side of his mouth twitches. “I doubt
that.”

We stare at each other, and the longer he
looks at me the more his eyes soften. I sigh and relax my arm. “I
need to go back inside and help.”

He tilts his head. “No, you don’t.”

“
Yes, I do.”

He looks above me for a moment, and I can
see his eyes searching the parking lot. “C’mon,” he says as he
starts to pull me in the direction I came from.

“
Could you let go of my
arm?” I ask.

He glances over his shoulder. “What do you
think I am? Stupid?”

I flash a sweet smile. “Do you really want
me to answer that?”

He rolls his eyes and faces forward, towing
me toward the entrance of the community center. I spot my mother
carrying a tote a few feet into the parking lot.

“
Mrs. Donohue!” Dane calls
to her.

She stops and glances around to see who’s
shouting her name. When she sees us approaching, she sets down the
heavy tote and waits for us to join her.

“
Hi,” Dane greets her. “I
need to borrow Emma for the night, if that would be
okay.”

What?! That is so not okay!

My mom crosses her arms and assesses Dane
from head to toe, then looks at me. I mouth the word “no” to her
and barely shake my head, so he won’t see. I immediately know from
her expression what her answer will be, and I set my jaw.

“
Sure,” she says. “Our part
of the cleanup is done.” She bends to pick up the tote
again.

“
Here,” Dane stops her and
holds out my wrist. “I’ll carry that to your car if you hold on to
this for me.”

She gladly wraps her hand around my forearm.
“Can do.”

Dane smiles and easily picks up the tote. My
mom holds her keys in one hand and pushes the remote to unlock the
doors of our Chevy Malibu. The headlights flash midway down a row
of parked cars, and Dane takes off in that direction.

As soon as he’s out of earshot, I turn on
her. “What are you doing? I don’t want to go anywhere with
him!”

She gives me her all-knowing motherly stare.
“Of course you do.”

My face twists. “Why would you think…?”

“
Because it’s obvious. Your
showdown with the fiancée proved that.” She looks me in the eye.
“No girl in her right mind would admit to sleeping with someone in
front of her mother and his fiancée if she wasn’t fighting for
something.”

Oh my God. My face turns crimson. “We
didn’t…we haven’t…”

My mom shakes her head and holds out her
free hand. “Stop. I don’t need an explanation; you’re an adult.
Just as long as you’re being safe.”

I’m mortified.

“
Believe it or not, I was
your age once.” She looks toward her car as Dane starts to make his
way back to us. “You could do a lot worse.”

Sarcasm drips from my tongue. “Maybe you
should go with him.”

She laughs. “If I were twenty years younger,
I would.”

Ew! Can the earth open up and swallow me
now?

As he gets closer, I contemplate which is
the lesser of the two evils: leaving with him or talking with my
mom about sex. I hate to admit it, but leaving with Dane wins. And
is she right? Was the motivation behind my cat fight with Teagan to
stake a claim to him or simply the need to defend myself?

“
You’re all set,” he says,
giving my mom her keys.

She nods and takes them, handing me over.
“Thanks.” She looks at me pointedly. “Remember what I said about
the safety.” She leans forward to whisper in my ear. “You’re still
on the pill, right?”

Oh sweet zombie Jesus! I would be hard
pressed to find another time I’ve been so embarrassed. I close my
eyes. “Yes. Go home, Mom.”

She laughs again. “Have a good night,” she
says as she walks away.

I open my eyes to find Dane holding on to my
arm and staring at me, amused. “What was that about safety?”

I can’t tell him my mother thinks we’re
sleeping together. I lift my chin arrogantly and lie. “She gave me
some mace in case you try anything.”

He laughs. “Right.”

He maintains his grip on my arm as he leads
me through the parking lot. “You don’t have to hold on to me, you
know. I have nowhere to run now.”

He ignores me, and when we arrive at his
car, he unlocks the doors of the Camaro. He ushers me into the
passenger seat and then slams the door. I look around the familiar
cab and stop short. Sitting in the center console is a crumpled
tissue blotted with red lipstick, a bottle of nail polish, and a
pair of women’s sunglasses. All Teagan’s, I’m sure. I pick up the
sunglasses and turn them over in my hands. They’re Chanel.
Expensive. As Dane slides into the driver’s seat, I open the arms
of the glasses and push them up my nose. “How do they look?” I
ask.

He turns to me and pauses. “Better on
you.”

Well. That action was supposed to irritate
him, not melt my insides. I take off the glasses and defensively
toss them back in the console. He starts the car, and I reach for
my seatbelt. “Where are we going?”

He pulls the car forward slowly, looking for
traffic, and then turns left out of the space. “To my place.”

My response is instantaneous and adamant.
“No, we’re not!”

His frown is illuminated by the dashboard
lights. “Why? What’s wrong with that?”

What’s wrong with that? The last time I was
there was when we…I feel my ears get hot and push the memory away.
How can I explain? Besides, if Teagan’s things are in his car,
what’s hanging around his townhouse? Lingerie? My tone turns
acerbic. “The last place I want to be is surrounded by evidence of
your fiancée.” I gesture toward the console. “It’s hard enough with
just this crap here.”

He glances between the seats. When he turns
out onto the road, he immediately pulls off on the shoulder. I
stare at him with confusion as he grabs the tissue, nail polish,
and sunglasses in one hand. He rolls down the window and throws
them out.

“
Why did you do that?” I
ask, panicked. I look behind us he pulls away. “Do you know how
much those glasses cost?”

“
You didn’t like them.
They’re gone.”

I stare at him wide-eyed. “You didn’t have
to do that. She’s going to be pissed.”

He lets out a small, sarcastic laugh. “And I
care why?”

I frown at him, baffled. What’s he going to
do when we get to his house? Go through the joint with a trash bag
to make me happy? “I still don’t want to go to your place.”

He glances at me and sighs. “I know. I get
it.”

He turns his attention back to the road, and
I stare out the passenger window. Neither of us utters a word as he
drives. When we’re just outside of town, he slows and makes a
right, following the route to my parent’s house. We reach the end
of that street and make a left, and I’m certain that’s where we’re
headed. My attitude must have caused him to reconsider spending
time with me. As my address gets closer, my mind and my heart
battle one another. Closing my eyes, I picture my emotions in a
boxing ring with my voice as the MC:

“
This match is scheduled
for three rounds! In this corner, hailing from the dark recesses of
Emma’s brain and weighing in with logic and reason, our challenger,
Relief! And, in this corner, hailing from Em’s soul and weighing in
with disappointment and guilt, our returning champion, Sadness! No
punches below the belt, fellas. We want a good, clean fight.” Ding!
Ding! Ding!

I shake my head at my absurd reverie. I
surely need some sort of therapy.

Sighing, I open my eyes, prepared to find us
turning on to my street. Instead, I look out the windshield in
surprise as we pass by. Where is he taking us? My question is
answered when, moments later, he turns into the park entrance near
my house. We follow the drive a short distance to a scenic overlook
of sorts, where there are about five parking spaces for people to
use at the beginning of a trailhead. He selects one, pulls in, and
parks. “Will this work?” he asks.

I nod. Relief has taken out Sadness in round
one and is now challenging Anxiety.

He cuts the engine, but leaves the car on
accessory, so the instrument panel provides some dim light in the
darkness. He takes off his seatbelt then turns to me, his hazel
eyes intense. “I’m so sorry,” he says. “You have to know that.”

I tilt my head reflexively. “I figured.”

He looks down for a moment. When he looks
back at me, he sighs. “I don’t know where to start other than
there.”

I shrug and cross my arms against the knot
in my stomach. “How about with why?” I ask. “Why didn’t you tell
me?”

“
Because I’m an idiot,” he
responds without hesitation.

I smirk. “You said it, not me.”

He gives me a tiny smile, but it quickly
fades. “When we met…” he pauses, trying to gather his thoughts. “I
wasn’t looking for anyone else. Or anything else. Teagan was on my
mind constantly.”

My face automatically twists at the mention
of her name.

“
Not like that,” he says,
noticing my reaction. “I was having second thoughts. The longer she
was away, the more I started to realize that I had asked her to
marry me for the wrong reasons.”

I shift my weight in the seat to get more
comfortable. “So why did you propose?”

“
Because it was expected of
me.”

I shoot him a confused look. “Shouldn’t you
at least be in love with the person?”

“
I was once,” he says and
leans his head against the headrest.

“
And?”

He turns to me. “I’m not anymore.”

Why does my heart skip a beat when he says
this? I reprimand myself. Dane and I are done.

“
Teagan and I were
that
couple,” he says,
explaining. “You know, the couple in high school brought together
by friends more so than any true feelings.” He looks up and stares
out the moon roof of the car. “I’ve been with her since we were
sixteen. It made sense for us to date back then. We were both
popular; our parents knew each other.” He looks at me again. “And
she wasn’t too hard to look at.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, I can see where her
looks make up for what she’s lacking in personality.”

He laughs. “She wasn’t always this
nasty.”

I undo my seatbelt and turn my body to face
him, curling my knees up on the seat. “So what went wrong?”

“
She’s always been spoiled,
but it soared to new levels when we went to college. I think it
went to her head.”

“
Why didn’t you break up
with her if you didn’t like her new attitude?”

He sighs. “It was a gradual thing. It’s not
like one day she woke up a complete bitch.”

I laugh.

He smiles and shakes his head. “Then, after
we graduated, her father offered me a job. My dream job, actually.
I mean, how many grads do you know get to start their career
immediately after college? Not many. Plus, it was my chance to
avoid working for my dad at Bay Woods.”

“
Hey! It wasn’t that
bad.”

“
No,” he concedes and looks
me in the eye. “Not with you there.”

My pulse picks up again. Does he do that on
purpose? “So,” I clear my throat, “you felt you had to propose
because her dad gave you a job?”

He frowns and considers my question. “I
guess that was part of it,” he admits. “Teagan was getting anxious
and bringing up marriage all the time. I understood why she was
doing it; we’d been together for seven years. But, I kept putting
her off. Then she was selected to be on the conservation team and
was headed to God-knows-where. At the time I thought that was my
sign, you know, do it now because who knows what will happen. So I
did.”

“
I bet she was ecstatic,” I
say.

He rolls his eyes. “Please. The wedding talk
has been non-stop. Even while she was gone her mother kept hounding
me. She made me book the honeymoon a year ago because ‘that’s the
groom’s responsibility,’” he mimics Teagan’s mother’s voice.

I feel like I’ve been sucker punched. “So
when’s the big day?” Why does this bother me? It shouldn’t bother
me!

“
Never,” he says adamantly
and leans forward. “When she left, I finally had some space to
breathe, some time to myself. Time to figure out what I wanted
without her in my face all the time.” He pauses. “I know what I
want. And I don’t want her.”

My mouth falls open in surprise. “Shouldn’t
someone inform the bride?”

He snickers. “She knows. She thinks I’ll
change my mind.” He lets out a frustrated sigh and runs his hand
through his hair. “She hasn’t told anyone that we’re not together.
She won’t stop throwing herself in my face, won’t stop coming over.
Won’t take off the ring.”

Wow. And I thought my relationship with
James was messed up. Still, even with all he’s told me, he hasn’t
answered my original question. “And you didn’t tell me about her
because…?”

“
Because I didn’t want you
to think I was some jerk who runs around proposing to women and
then plays around while they’re out of town.” He pins me with a
pained expression. “I wanted to end things with her months ago, but
I felt I owed it to Teagan to do it in person, not over Skype. When
she came home I told her the engagement was off. As you can
imagine, it didn’t go over well,” he grimaces. “She’s been putting
up a fight ever since; she let herself into my place and came
across the bill for the things I sent you. If I had known she had
mailed that article to you I…”