Read All the Broken Pieces Online
Authors: Cindi Madsen
Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Social Issues, #Emotions & Feelings
29
Liv slid into class as the bell rang. Last night she could hardly sleep, anticipating seeing Spencer again. Unfortunately, Dad had to go to work early, and Mom was running behind schedule, making her almost late for school, so she had to wait longer.
Each class ticked by at a snail’s pace, and when lunch finally came, she was so antsy she could hardly stand it. Keira tried to talk to her as they walked to the cafeteria, but she couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that she was about to see Spencer for the first time since their almost-kiss.
She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him in his usual spot.
Then Natasha and her friends sat down next to him.
Why won’t that girl leave him alone already?
Since Natasha had sat across from Spencer, in what should be her spot, Liv walked over to the table and sat right next to him.
Natasha frowned, a crease forming between her eyebrows. With a huff, she turned to Spencer. “So as I was saying before we were interrupted, if we go with the Tea Party thing—”
“Tea party?” Liv nudged Spencer. “You’re having a tea party and you forgot to tell me?”
Spencer put his hand on her knee and grinned at her. “I’m not going to invite you if you mock it.”
“We’re talking about the Boston Tea Party,” Natasha said, her tone exasperated.
“Then I’m out,” Liv said. “Calling something a party doesn’t automatically make it fun. I learned that the hard way.”
Spencer squeezed her knee and butterflies shot through her stomach. “I don’t know. I’m starting to think something good came from the last one I went to.”
Natasha was speechless after that. Or maybe she kept talking, but Liv simply didn’t notice.
On their way out of the cafeteria, Spencer grabbed Liv’s hand, intertwining his fingers with hers.
“Exactly how many girls are hung up on you?” she asked as they started down the hall.
He shot her a sidelong glance. “No girls are hung up on me.”
“I can name three right now.”
He twisted to face her and slid his arms around her waist. “I only care about one of them.”
“Who said I was one of them?”
A wicked grin parted his lips. “Who said I was talking about you?”
She smacked him on the arm and he hugged her tighter.
Someone cleared her throat. Out of the corner of her eye, Liv saw Mrs. Tully. “You two don’t want to be late for class.”
I swear. The universe is totally against us.
…
Waiting for Spencer to come out of those red double doors had never been so hard. She hadn’t even bothered with digging her book from her bag. She sat on the bench, drumming her fingers, growing more impatient by the minute.
What seemed like an eternity later, he finally stepped out of the school. By the time he got to the bench, she was already standing. Then she felt stupid. And nervous.
I don’t know what I’m doing. What if our heads bump together, or what if I suck at kissing, or what if he’s changed his mind and—
Spencer held out a folded piece of paper.
“You wrote me a note?” she asked.
“It’s the list. It’s getting long, and we need to start marking things off.” He tapped her hand with the paper. “Take it. See which one you want to do.”
“I’m not feeling the list thing today.”
“I added more stuff, though. We’ll do whatever you want.”
Sighing, she took the paper out of his hands.
What I want is for you to kiss me already.
Throw out a flirty line. Let him do the rest.
Think confidence. Take the initiative.
She looked up at him. She wasn’t that confident. So she unfolded the list and skimmed down it.
1. McDonald’s
2. Catch a lizard
3. Sports:
baseball
,
basketball
,
volleyball
4. Movies: Lord of the Rings trilogy. Matrix trilogy. The three Spiderman movies.
5. Music:
30 Seconds to Mars
,
Radiohead
,
311
,
Green Day
, Shinedown, White Stripes, Weezer,
Cage the Elephant
,
Angels & Airwaves
6. Swim
7. Bike
8. Drive
9. Teach Liv to give a compliment once in a while.
10. Bowling
11. Miniature golf
12. Start a fire
She stared at the last item.
13. Kiss Spencer
She looked up from the list. Spencer stepped forward, wrapped his arms around her, and pressed his mouth to hers.
Her lips automatically moved against his, parting as he pulled her closer and kissed her deeper. She wasn’t sure if it was her first kiss, but it was the first kiss she remembered, and it was definitely worth the wait.
30
With the kissing accomplished, Liv and Spencer decided to check another thing off the list. The plan was to go to Spencer’s house and take out the second
Lord of the Rings
movie
.
“By the way,” she said as they drove down Main Street, “the other night I was listening to the radio and heard a song I really liked. Imagine my surprise when the deejay said it was by 311.”
“I told you they were good,” he said. “Which song was it?”
“‘Love Song.’”
He stopped for a red light. “That’s, like, their worst song.” He hooked up his iPod so it would come through his car stereo. “Here’s their self-titled album. It’s one of their best.”
The only good part about the music was watching Spencer bob his head to the beat as he drove. He turned down his street. “See, it’s good.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I hate it.”
“That’s it. You just lost two—no, three cool points.”
“Not my cool points—” She clasped her hands and turned to him. “Please, anything but that.”
Spencer pulled into his driveway. “Don’t worry. Kissing racks up the cool points, so you’ve got a few to spare.”
“Well, in that case…” Liv leaned toward him.
He met her in the middle. He brought his hand to her cheek as he kissed her, and lightly rubbed his thumb along her jaw.
Happy was an understatement.
They got out of the car and headed toward the front door. Spencer inserted the key, then gave the door a funny look. He grabbed Liv’s hand and walked inside. “Katie, you forgot to lock the door. You’ve got to always…” His posture tensed.
Liv peeked around him to see what was going on.
“Hello, son.” Spencer’s dad sat on the couch. Katie was next to him. “I figured you’d have to come home sometime.”
“What are you doing here?” Spencer asked, an icy edge to his voice.
Liv stood there, feeling out of place.
Katie’s eyes widened. “You and Liv are holding hands! Does that mean that you’re going out?”
Ignoring Katie’s question, Spencer tightened his grip on Liv’s hand. “Let’s go.”
Mr. Hale stood. “I just need to talk to you for a minute, son. It’s important, and since you won’t return my calls, I decided to stop by.” He gestured to the couch. “Please sit down.”
Spencer hesitated, then slowly led her to the couch. She sat in the middle, between Spencer and Katie; Mr. Hale grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and placed it across from them.
Mr. Hale glanced at her. “We were never formally introduced. I’m Carl.”
“This is Liv,” Spencer said. “Now, get on with whatever’s so important.”
The anger in Spencer’s voice, the way he looked at his dad, reminded her of how he’d been back when she first met him. It scared her, especially since she’d finally broken through to him.
And the hurt it caused Mr. Hale was evident by the sorrow in his eyes. He pressed his lips together. “Dana and I are getting married. And we want you two to be in the wedding. Katie, you’ll be a junior bridesmaid, and Spencer…what do you say? Will you be my best man?”
“You cheated on Mom, left us for Dana, and you want me to be part of your wedding? No, thanks.” Spencer stood, pulling her with him. He made a beeline for the front door, charged out of the house, and slammed the door shut behind them.
Earlier, everything had been perfect; now, she didn’t know what to do.
Spencer kept his grip on her hand. “Walk with me?”
“Sure.”
After a couple minutes of silence, Spencer glanced at her. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean for you to get dragged into it.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I know,” he said. But the silence that followed told her he wasn’t going to.
A car drove by, and Spencer moved her from his left to his right.
“What’s with the switch-up?” Liv asked.
“I want to be between you and the street. That way if rocks fly up or whatever…”
“You’ll take the hit for me?” She leaned into him. “My hero.”
Tightening the arm he had around her waist, he kissed her forehead.
They’d just turned onto Main Street when her stomach growled. She put a hand over it to try to quiet it, but the sound only got louder.
“Are you hungry?”
Because she’d been distracted at lunch by the fact that Spencer’s hand was on her knee, she hadn’t eaten much. “Yeah.” She glanced down the street. The red roof of a Chinese restaurant caught her eye.
Her gaze locked onto the building, a mixture of anxiety and excitement zinging through her veins.
Yes, there. Go into that one.
She pointed. “We need to go there.”
…
Liv stared at her chopsticks.
Spencer scooted forward and the plastic-y material of the red booth he was sitting on creaked. “I can never work those things. That’s why I stick with a fork.”
That wasn’t it, though. Something tickled her memory. After a moment of staring at the chopsticks, waiting for it to come to her, she set them down on the cherry wood table.
As they sat eating, she’d occasionally get a whiff of something that would send the familiar pricking across her scalp, like there was something she needed to know about the restaurant.
What? What is it about this place that I need to know?
She ran her fingers across the table and eyed the chopsticks again. She glanced at the gold statue in the corner, something so familiar about the cross-legged figure, yet not quite right.
Try to remember…
Her vision went hazy, but before any images caught hold, a sharp pain spiked behind her eyes. She blinked and shook her head. Her heart was beating too fast and the noise of the restaurant echoed in her ears.
The waitress came by and refilled Spencer’s drink.
Liv took a couple more bites of her food, then scooted her plate to the side. One of her chopsticks rolled to the edge of the table, half on, half off.
She stared at it for a moment. Then, without knowing exactly why, she smacked the end. The stick flipped up. Midair, she caught it in her hand.
Spencer’s mouth dropped. “Okay, that was impressive. Especially considering how horrible your coordination is.” He grabbed his chopsticks, set one on the end of the table, and flipped it. Into the empty booth behind him.
Liv laughed. “Smooth.”
The couple seated to their left gave them disapproving looks.
Spencer leaned his forearms on the table. “You got lucky the first time. There’s no way you can do that again.”
She set her other chopstick on the table, smacked the end, flipping it into the air…and caught it.
Of course Spencer had to try again. When he attempted to catch it, he sent the stick flying toward her.
“Ah!” She dodged and it hit to the left of her. “If my lightning-quick reflexes hadn’t kicked in, I’d be missing an eye right now.”
“Sorry. But for the record”—a smile spread across his face—“I think you could make an eye patch look good.”
She laughed again.
The looks from the people at the other table had moved from disapproval to contempt.
“You’re just jealous you can’t do this.” She retrieved the chopstick next to her, flipped it, and caught it.
He gaped at her. “How are you doing that?”
Liv shrugged. “I really don’t know. Sometimes things just come to me.” She grinned at him. “It is nice to find something I’m better at than you.”
“I’m sure you don’t remember, but there’s this rule about not showing up your boyfriend. It hurts his ego.”
Her heart picked up speed as she looked into his brown eyes. “You’re my boyfriend?”
“If you want me to be.”
A lightness entered her chest, happiness washed over her, and she knew she had a goofy grin on her face, but she didn’t even care. For the first time since she’d woken up from her coma, her life felt right. Complete, even. “I think I could handle that.”
31
Spencer rushed over to Liv as she started up the steps to the school. “If it isn’t the champion chopsticker.” He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers with hers.
She grinned, her skin tingling from the contact. “That’s right. I’m the best chopsticker around. Scratch that sport off the list.”
“So it’s a sport now?”
“Hey, if there’s a chance at losing an eye, it’s a sport.”
“That would mean the Three Stooges are a sport.”
She lowered her eyebrows. “Yeah, I don’t know what that is.”
“You never…?” He shook his head. “We’ll have to add that to the list.”
Hand-in-hand, they entered the school. Sabrina and her group stood in their normal spot, just inside the front door. Sabrina muttered something—an expletive if she had to guess—and the entire group turned and stared.
“I’d hate to leave them with any unanswered questions,” Spencer said.
Liv opened her mouth to ask what he meant. He cut her off with a kiss that made her momentarily forget they weren’t alone.
Then his arm slid around her waist and they started down the hall.
She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I have a feeling today is going to be very interesting.”
…
Keira shoved her books in her locker. “I’ve never felt this way about a guy before,” she said with a sigh. “Every time I’m with Samuel, I think it’ll never get better. But then I see him again and it does. I’m in serious like with that boy.”
Thanks to the kiss in the hall that basically announced to everyone she and Spencer were together, Liv knew exactly how Keira felt. Dizzy. Warm. So excited that she practically skipped everywhere she went. It made concentrating in classes almost impossible.
“You’ve got it, too,” Keira said. “It’s written all over your face. Not to mention I saw that kiss this morning. When are you going to hook a sister up with the details?”
“Well, I liked him for a while, but he kept pulling away. But over the last few days…” Thinking of how great everything was now sent a thrill through her stomach. “We finally crossed into more, and I’m really happy.”
Sabrina walked up, her expression far from friendly. “Come on, Keira. I need to talk to you.”
Keira shot Liv an apologetic look and turned to go.
Sabrina took a few steps, then turned back and looked her in the eye. “I know him better than you do. I was there for him when his dad left. I was the one who stuck by his side, even when he started treating me like crap. And in the end, I got ignored, cheated on, and dumped without any explanation. Don’t think he won’t do the same to you.”
Not knowing what to say to that, Liv simply stared.
She’s just jealous. She’d say anything to mess up things between Spencer and me.
“I’m not making it up.” Sabrina nudged Keira. “Tell her. You’re the only one she’ll believe.”
Keira’s face dropped. “He was really drunk at that party, Sabrina. I’m sure he didn’t—”
“That’s supposed to make it okay?” Sabrina shrieked.
“I’m not saying…” Keira bit her lip. “It’s true. He cheated on her at the end-of-the-year party with this skanky girl from Sedona.” She mouthed,
I’m sorry.
“I’m not some mean girl out to get you,” Sabrina said. “Admittedly, I wasn’t thrilled when you moved here and everyone was always talking about you, though I guess that’s not your fault. But I don’t think you’re as nice as you pretend to be, either. I can see through your naive confused girl act.”
Liv almost said it wasn’t an act, but her brain was still tripping over the information about Spencer.
“So I’m not going to tell you not to date Spencer—go ahead, I’m over him.” Her eyes locked onto Liv’s. “I’m just telling you that you might want to be careful.”
…
Liv’s mind spun as she headed to lunch. She kept telling herself it didn’t matter, but Sabrina’s words had gotten to her. Rounding the corner, she almost bumped into Clay.
“Clay, hey.”
“I hear you and Hale are a thing now,” he said.
“Yeah, it just kind of happened. I did have fun with you, and you’re a nice guy, it’s just that—”
“Whatever.” He shook his head and walked away.
This day is getting worse by the minute.
By the time she sat across from Spencer, she felt tired and irritated. She said a feeble hi and dug into her food.
“You’re quiet,” Spencer said.
“I wish today was over already.”
“Well, I’ve got some good news. I don’t have to stay after school, so you won’t have to wait around for me.”
“So you’re done with your…whatever?”
“I don’t have it today, anyway. So, what do you want to do?”
Keeping things from her wasn’t new, but because of Sabrina’s comments, it bothered her more today.
He always pushes me for details, but any time I push him, he shuts down.
It’s supposed to be different now.
Or maybe he’ll never let me in.
“Earth to Liv?”
“What?” She remembered the question. “Oh. I don’t care. We can do whatever.”
“So swimming?”
“Except that.”
“Why?”
“You first.”
Eyebrows knit together, he studied her. “Me first, what?”
“You never tell me why anything.”
Spencer reached across the table and took her hand. “What’s going on?”
“What’s going on with you?” she asked right back.
“This conversation would be a lot easier if I knew what you were talking about.”
“I’m talking about everything. You hold everything in.”
“I don’t hold everything in.”
Liv raised her eyebrows. “Oh yeah? What about your dad? He shows up and tells you he’s getting married, and you storm out of the house. The rest of the night, you didn’t say a word about him, but I know it’s got to be on your mind. He’s getting remarried. That’s big news.”
Spencer pulled his hand away. “There’s nothing to discuss. I’m not going to the wedding. End of story.”
“Not end of story. There’s got to be a reason why.”
“Because going would be like telling him it’s okay that he left us to start a new family. What he did to my mom…” The muscles along his jaw tightened. “He’s a hypocrite. All growing up, he preached about honesty and responsibilities, then he just bailed.”
“I could tell he cares about you, though. Couldn’t you see how hard he was trying? How sad he was when you didn’t want to listen?”
“After what he’s done, he deserves to be sad.”
“At least he’s trying to keep you in his life,” Liv said.
“Marrying Dana isn’t trying. Besides, he’ll just get sick of her and cheat again, so there’s no point in going to their wedding and acting like it’ll work.” Spencer narrowed his eyes at her. “This is really what you’re being so weird about? That my dad and I aren’t getting along?”
“I care about you. It’s not weird to want to talk about these things.”
“What do you want to know? That my dad decided he was in love with someone else, then left to be with her and didn’t bother talking to Katie or me for six months?” He threw up his hands. “What else do you want to know?”
“How about what you do after school, or why you’re not friends with anyone anymore. Or why people tell me I should be careful around you.”
“This is exactly why I tried to keep my distance.” He shook his head. “I’ve got to take care of some things before class,” he said, standing up. Then he walked away, leaving her sitting there alone, wishing she would’ve kept her stupid mouth shut.
…
Keira caught up to her after math class. The math class she and Spencer had spent ignoring each other.
“What I said about Spencer kissing that girl, that was true, but Sabrina was trying to make him jealous with this other guy first. She always leaves that part out of the story.” Keira leaned closer. “The party was at this huge house—some kid’s parents were gone or whatever—and people from Sedona and Jerome came, too. Spencer and Sabrina were both drunk, and she thought he was ignoring her, so she started flirting with this other guy. Instead of getting his attention the way she thought it would, he went up to this girl from Sedona and kissed her. So Sabrina walked over and told him, and I quote, ‘You’re being just like your jackass father.’”
The harshness of those words made her jaw drop. “No way. That’s low, even for Sabrina.”
“Yeah, so they got into this huge fight. I was the designated driver that night, and Sabrina demanded that I take her home. It ended up being a good thing because the cops came soon after.”
“And that’s when that kid got hurt and Spencer got arrested?”
“That’s the story. Most kids were either gone or too drunk to remember exactly how it all ended.”
“Sounds like quite a party,” Liv said.
“It was crazy.” Keira shook her head. “Things got out of control that night. Anyway, I wanted to tell you the full story, because I didn’t want what Sabrina said to mess up things with you and Spencer.”
As well-placed as Keira’s intentions were, it didn’t keep them from being too late.
…
Everything Liv did took greater effort than usual. Walking down the hall; putting her books in her locker; keeping herself from bursting into tears.
I can’t believe I let Sabrina get to me.
So much for not being a follower.
Steadying herself on her locker door, she tried to figure out what she needed to take home. She’d have to wait for Mom’s cooking class to let out so she could call and get a ride.
Unless I go tell Spencer I’m sorry and he forgives me.
And that’s what she wanted to do, but at the same time, the fact that he kept so many secrets from her still bugged her.
Do I want to be the girl who lets everything go, who never gets any answers?
How about being the girl who actually
has
a boyfriend?
Tears were threatening again and she blinked them back. Just when she’d thought she was going to get to be a happy, normal girl with a perfect boyfriend, everything got all screwed up again.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed back her emotions, slammed her locker door, and turned around.
A couple yards down the hall, people rushing around him, stood Spencer, his gaze on her.
Time to decide what kind of girl I’m going to be. Can I let go of his past, not even knowing what it is? And how important is the past anyway?
She thought about the realistic dreams and the hazy memories she kept having: Elizabeth; fighting with friends; the drunk cheerleader; the gum. Had she done any of those things?
I don’t even know about my own past, and here I am, demanding he tell me all about his.
Right now, all she knew was that the distance between her and Spencer caused her physical pain. Her chest hurt so badly she could hardly breathe.
His eyes didn’t leave hers as he walked toward her.
With every step, her heart squeezed tighter and tighter until it felt like it had stopped beating altogether.
And then he was standing in front of her. “Not doing this would be easier if you weren’t my only friend.”
Oh my gosh. He’s breaking up with me.
A giant lump formed in her throat.
“Or if you weren’t so fun to be around.” He ran his hand down her arm. “Or if you weren’t so damn cute.”
Liv took a deep breath, trying and failing to keep her voice steady. “You think I’m cute?”
“Damn cute.” A fleeting smile crossed his lips, then his expression returned to serious. “You’re the one person whose opinion I care about. When I’m with you, the past disappears, and I’m a better person.”
She closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around his waist.
His arms encircled her and his lips brushed her temple as he spoke. “I knew I was a goner after we went lizard hunting.”
She looked up at him. “Then why’d you fight it so long?”
He turned his head away. “I don’t deserve to be happy. I’ve done some awful things, Liv.”
“When I came here, I didn’t know who I was. I had a hard time just being in public.” She put her hand on the side of his face. “Meeting you is the best thing that ever happened to me. Nothing you—or anyone else for that matter—say will change what I think about you.”
He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the exit. “I guess there’s only one way to prove your theory.”