All That Matters (27 page)

“I won’t lie,
darlin
’. I don’t know what kind of daddy I’ll turn out to be, but I’ll do my damndest to be good to the two of you. If that’s not enough, tell me right now and I’ll go.”

His foolish, aching heart told him to cherish that moment and let the future take care of itself. He was scared of what lay ahead, scared of making the same mistakes his
daddy’d
made, but standing here with Faith in his arms, he knew building a family with this
lovin
’ woman was more important than his fears.

The music ended, but the two stayed on the dance floor, oblivious to the sly glances of other couples waiting for the next song to begin. Nothing short of a Texas tornado could’ve torn their attention away from each other.

Then, Mickey Gilley’s slow, sensual voice flowed over the swaying crowd like hot fudge syrup on cold ice cream, reminding them of all the things that really mattered.

Faith had chosen this particular ballad for a reason. As she moved into his embrace, she whispered, “You’re all that matters to me, Buddy Lee.”

He moved into his glide and slide, holding her close, unable to find words to express the enormous surge of love engulfing him. Tears of gratitude and love dampened his cheeks and he wasn’t even ashamed. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head, inhaled her summer fragrance and sent a silent prayer to the Powers That Be for giving him this precious moment. This gift of love from Faith was everything he’d ever wanted. All he’d ever need.

The crowd parted and left the dance floor to watch the couple move together as if they were one in body and soul. Eyes closed, they swayed, spun and slow-danced until the song ended and the crowd erupted in loud cheers, applause, and a few risqué suggestions.

Buddy Lee was afraid he was blushing more than Faith, and
her
face was rosy-red.

“I guess now it’s no secret how I feel about you.” Faith grinned impishly. “Shall we tell everyone the party’s over, and go home?”

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard tonight.” Buddy Lee swept her off the dance floor before the crowd got too enthusiastic.
 
In his heart, he tried to sweep away the doubts of their future together, too.

Beryl Morgan appeared from across the room, face flushed and eyes shining. Lionel held her arm protectively, a totally uncharacteristic grin on his face.

“You look happy, Mama,” Faith observed, eyebrow raised in question.

“Thank you, dear,” Beryl said. “By the way, your father and I have something to tell you.” She smiled at Lionel, but didn’t give him an opportunity to explain. “The investigation at the bank has already been concluded, so your father’s able to take some time away. We’re going on an extended vacation next month—a few weeks in Europe to see the places I’ve always dreamed of visiting. I’ve already spoken to the doctor, who says the trip will be good for me and assures me you’ll be fine, too, with Buddy Lee looking after you. Isn’t that right, Lionel?”

Lionel nodded. “Whatever makes you happy, Beryl.”

Faith looked at her daddy’s silly grin and wondered what miracle had taken place in such a short time. She wasn’t about to upset their plans by objecting, but she sincerely hoped her parents knew what they were doing. After all these years, it was strange to see them acting like they actually cared for each other. That would take some getting used to.

Buddy Lee stepped forward. “Don’t worry about Faith. I’ll take good care of her.” He cleared his throat nervously, looking everywhere but at the older couple. “And by the way, thank you both for the party. It was a real surprise.” He didn’t know what else to say, not being good at thank-
you’s
and never having had a birthday party before.

Lionel extended his hand, and Buddy hesitated only a second before taking it.

Faith’s eyes grew misty watching the two men in her life shake hands.

Beryl kissed her son-in-law’s cheek. “You can call me Mama Morgan, if you like.”

Lionel harrumphed, as usual. “Well, don’t be calling me Daddy, you hear?”

“As long as you don’t call me Boyd’s boy...sir.”

T
he night of his twenty-fifth birthday would always be a night to remember for Buddy Lee Walker. In more ways than one.
 
His emotions ping-ponged from the lowest point in his life when, after examining every possible option for solving his financial dilemma, he realized he would never achieve his dreams, to the ultimate high of the surprise celebration in his honor.

The mind-boggling realization that Faith had actually gone to the trouble of planning such an event just for him almost brought him to his knees. It sure as hell made his eyes watery and his insides go haywire.

Knowing she did so simply because she wanted to filled him with a heavy sense of guilt. How could he accept her love when that old alligator called
Jealousy
still snapped at his heels? He loved her more than life itself, but what if he turned out to be the same kind of no-account parent as his old man? What if he could never forget that Royce Webb was the baby’s real daddy?
 
There were no guarantees.

“Buddy Lee, are you coming to bed?” Faith called, her soft invitation breaking into his deep concentration.

Aw, shoot. How was he supposed to answer
that
?

He’d been reluctant to go to bed after they returned home from the party, knowing his emotions were pretty well warming up to high heat, so he’d worked hard at keeping her involved in conversation. True, it had been trivial chit-chat about the party, the folks who’d come to say “Hey,” and of course, the peculiar way her parents had acted, but he’d managed to buy a little more time in order to snag his wandering good sense back to where it belonged. Not an easy task when his traitorous body had serious ideas of its own.

Earlier that night, he’d made a secret vow to stay away from Faith until he could deal with the fears still haunting him. She deserved total commitment, and he wasn’t sure he could stick around after the baby’s arrival, although he loved her so much he ached with an intensity that scared the
livin
’ daylights out of him.

“Buddy Lee?” She stood in the hallway, silhouette outlined by the faint glow of the street light. “Is something wrong?”

Damn straight,
he wanted to shout.
I have these gut-deep, uncontrollable feelings for you, and I don’t want to share them with your baby.

That made him a first-class jerk, didn’t it? He’d already sampled the sweet love she offered. And hadn’t he promised to take care of her and her child? Add liar to his list of short-comings. He never should have agreed to this wild scheme. Was something wrong? You damn
betcha
. The alligators were all over the place and catching up to him fast.

“Listen, Faith, maybe we’d better get something straight between us.”

“Just as soon as you come to bed.” Her teasing smile and soft laugh made her interpretation of his words pretty obvious.
 
She wore the same flimsy blue thing again, the one that had shot his blood pressure off the charts in Mexico. He’d seen ads in magazines of those fancy underwear models, but they didn’t hold a candle to Faith. Not even a flicker.

“I’m serious,
darlin
’.” He tried to keep a straight face, but Jeez
Looeeze
! he sure enough wanted to howl at the moon.

“So am I, and don’t ever forget it.” She came to him then, looped her arms around his neck and leaned in until every one of her soft curves melted into his angled, hard body.

God, how he wanted her. It’d be so easy just to carry her back to bed and love the night away. He remembered the other times they’d made love and the wonder of discovery, the sweetness of surrender. Just thinking about giving up those blissful times nearly yanked his heart right out of his chest.

He groaned as he reached up to tug her hands away. God forgive him, he couldn’t keep on this way. “I’m sorry,
darlin
’, but this is never gonna work.” At her look of utter confusion, he hurried to add, “I can’t let you think I’m something I’m not. I thought I could take your baby as mine, but I’m afraid of what’ll happen if I can’t. That kid deserves a daddy he can look up to. One who can teach him important stuff kids need to know.”
 
He still held her hands, but moved a step back to put space between his eager body and her inviting one. “What if I can’t be that kind of daddy? What if he’s called
Walker’s boy
and grows up despising the name? I don’t want that for your baby.”

He was only human, and right now he was dying inside. Walking away from the love of his life was the hardest thing he’d ever done. Maybe in time, she’d forgive him. Even if she didn’t, he wished her happiness with someone else.
Like hell.
He closed his eyes and cursed the burning behind his eyelids that threatened to expose him as a weepy-dipstick.

With every fiber of his being, he fought for strength to do the right thing. Leave Faith and her child. Give up the right to her love, to build a future with her and have an honest-to-God family. He’d leave her his name for the baby’s sake and hope it wasn’t a mistake. She already owned his heart.

“What are you saying? That you’re breaking your promise?”
 
Panic stressed her voice to a thinly-veiled sob. “You can’t leave now. We have everything all worked out.”

She looked so bewildered, so vulnerable, he almost changed his mind. He cradled her face between his hands, and the tears on her cheeks slid between his fingers like warm, wet silk.

“Aw, Faith.” Something painful tugged at his heart so hard he could barely breathe.

She lifted her face and stretched up on her tiptoes. “I love you, Buddy Lee. Please, don’t be afraid for the baby. If I believe you’ll make the best daddy ever, won’t you stay?”

The kiss was there for the taking, but somebody was ramming a stake through his heart. He couldn’t—wouldn’t—put a child in jeopardy.
Boyd’s boy
still lurked somewhere deep inside him, and those memories just wouldn’t go away.

“You don’t understand,
darlin
’. I love you too much to make your life miserable.”

“That’s just not true and you know it, Buddy Lee Walker.”

The tears glistening in her emerald eyes joined sparks of gold fire. Her fingers teased open the buttons on his shirt one by one. He watched her temperament slowly morph from sweet to sassy. From dejected to determined. She was one hell of a woman, but his mind was made up. If he kissed her now, he’d never leave.

“Believe me, this is better for you and your baby. You’ll thank me some day. And people will still think the baby’s mine.
 
I’ll never say different. But he’ll grow up a Morgan, and better for it.”

“You’re so very wrong, Buddy Lee. You aren’t even giving this child a chance. You’ve judged and condemned without a fair trial. What gives you the right to decide what’s best for me?”

“I can think of a number of times in the past....” He moved to capture her hands but they were already sliding inside his shirt, sending a message he had no trouble understanding.
Ahhh
, sweet girl.

“That was then. This is now.” The sparks in her eyes flashed a no-nonsense warning as she got right in his face, put her soft lips next to his, and dared him to kiss her.

“
Dammit
, Faith,” he growled,” you’re not playing fair.”
 
Having always been a sucker for a dare, he took charge of her mouth, kissed her hot and deep. Thoroughly. Definitely soul-shaking.
Mmmm
. He just might keep his mouth right where it was, rolling over hers, until life as he knew it came to a screeching halt. He tasted and teased, sipped and nipped, his tongue mating frantically with hers until kissing wasn’t enough anymore, and he hauled her tight against his undeniable need.

She threw herself into the kiss with so much enthusiasm he barely managed to stay balanced and keep them from landing on the floor. So much for good intentions. He wasn’t going anywhere —not now, not ever.

Pulling away from the kiss with downright painful reluctance as he gulped air to steady his runaway pulse, he knew he’d just been stripped of every bit of reasoning he possessed. He wouldn’t have been surprised to find his brain in a jar for scientific study.

“
Whooeee
,
darlin
’, you’ve got a
helluva
convincing argument.” He started reviewing his previous decision with the two pitifully inadequate cylinders left in his think tank.

Faith favored him with that sweet smile again. The one that messed with his mind and encouraged the goofy notions of
forever
running rampant through his over-heated nervous system.

“This argument needs to be settled,” she declared, “and obviously, you don’t know how stubborn I can be when I decide I want something, or in this case, someone.”

Oh, he was mighty aware of how stubborn she could be. Had discovered that little secret several years ago. Also understood why she nurtured that stubbornness. Protection for her heart. A disguise to hide her need to be loved. A cry for attention from parents with a bunch of mixed-up priorities who’d turned a blind eye to their only child’s emotional needs in favor of social
hoop-tee-do
.