All Or Nothing (4 page)

Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, the shower water constantly ran. Shantell lay balled up on the floor near the bathtub. She was overcome by a sickening feeling. She wasn’t sure exactly what happened but she knew it wasn’t right. After awhile, Shantell pulled herself together long enough to take a shower.

In every person’s life there is that event or situation that defines the rest of there life. It either helps or hinders them. For Shantell Bryant, this was it. After this incident, life would be a game of catch up. Her mental growth would be forever stagnated.

Shantell would never again be the same. She would never be that innocent little girl again. Never.

As the years passed, Shantell never broke her silence. She never told a soul, including her mother, what happened in her bedroom on that fateful day. Reggie repaid her for her silence by continuing to sexually assault her at every opportunity he got. He turned his sister into his own personal whore.

Shantell quickly became submissive to her brother’s strong sexual urges. Each time they had sex, it became easier and easier for him to take advantage of her. He forced her to anything and everything he could think of sexually.

Brenda Bryant’s life seemed to unravel simultaneously with her daughter’s. She found out that breaking old drug habits was hard to do. Her crack cocaine habit resurfaced with a vengeance. Brenda went on drug binges, disappearing for days at a time. Soon, her crack habit began to grow out of control.

She began to steal from her employers, who subsequently fired her. They didn’t press charges on her because of all the years of loyal service. Her drug addition took precedence over everything, God included. The Kingdom Hall and the Jehovah’s Witnesses became an afterthought. She had a new religion; it was called addiction and her Higher Power was crack. She prayed to her cocaine god daily. Brenda turned her back on everything that she loved. She was in no position to help herself, never mind Shantell. Her life was slowly spiraling down the drain of life.

By the time Shantell reached her teens, she was a young black girl lost. She began acting out. It started out by skipping classes at school. When she reached high school, she stopped going all together. She would pick fights with her mother over the smallest things, like what Brenda was cooking for dinner.

Drugs had broken the tight bond that they once shared, blinding Brenda to her daughter’s problems. Drugs had deafened Brenda’s ears to Shantell’s pleas for help.

Without the proper guidance of a parent, Shantell was free to roam the projects aimlessly. It didn’t take long for the neighborhood boys to figure her out and have sex with her, and she was labeled “easy.”

Bouncing from house to house seemed to mold Shantell. She seemed to learn from every sexual situation she was in. Her trials and tribulations would evolve her into the cold, heartless bitch she would later become.

After the sexual romps with her brother, whenever she got into one-on–one, intimate situations with the opposite sex, Shantell was afraid to tell the guy no; thoughts of her brother would flash through her mind. She remembered the way he used to hit her and threaten her if she turned away his sexual advances. So to avoid any confrontations, she just said yes. She figured that if she gave them what they wanted, then she could get rid of them that much faster.

Before long, older predators and pedophiles in the projects were drawn to Shantell’s beauty like a vulture to a dead, rotting carcass. They began to take advantage of her, too. Sometimes, it wasn’t always the men who were the guilty party. In this new world the women were just as dangerous.

“Knock, Knock.”

“Who is it?” A female voice shouted.

“It’s me, Shantell,” she replied.

Suddenly the door swung open and Shantell was granted entrance. “Come in,” said a voice from behind the door. “Hurry up.” Immediately Shantell recognized the voice as that of her friend Keisha’s older sister, Brandy. She was partially clothed, which explained why she was hiding behind the door. Once Shantell was safely inside the house, Brandy shut the door behind her. Now Brandy revealed her half-dressed body. She was wearing a pretty white lace panty-and-bra set. It really seemed to enhance her sex appeal, and the color brought out her caramel completion. Where Keisha at?” Shantell asked.

“Keisha ain’t here.” Brandy announced. “She went over to the mall real quick. She said she be right back.”

“Damn, why she ain’t call me and tell me that,” Shantell said. “I coulda stayed home.”

“You can wait for her here.” Brandy assured her. “She’ll be right back. What you got better to do? I thought y’all were going out to the movies?”

Brandy was right; what did she have better to do? There was no way she was going back home. Lately she hated to be inside her house longer than necessary. Shantell just slept there. She began to despise not only her brother, but her mother too. Once she left her house, she stayed gone.

What Shantell didn’t know was that she was being set up. Her friend Keisha had traded her sister a pair of new sneak ers, for time alone with Shantell. Brandy was bisexual and strongly attracted to Shantell. She had been begging her younger sister for a crack at her friend. Finally Keisha had relented, only after Brandy had given her some money to buy the latest Jordan’s.

“Come upstairs to my room,” Brandy called out. “It’s cool. I’m up here watching videos on BET.”

The ploy seemed to work. Shantell followed Brandy up the stairs to her bedroom. As she did, she couldn’t help but notice that Brandy’s ass cheeks hung outside her panties. There wasn’t enough material to cover her completely.

Brandy began to sway her hips, knowing Shantell was watching. She hoped that would entice her. Unfortunately for Brandy, Shantell didn’t show any emotion either way.

As soon as they entered the room, Brandy turned around and stepped to her business. She grabbed Shantell and pulled her close. She looked her dead in the eyes and began to French kiss her. Once Shantell didn’t protest, Brandy knew she had her. She turned into an octopus; to Shantell, her hands seemed to be everywhere. They groped Shantell’s private parts and breasts, while at the same time undressing her.

Soon they stood in the middle of the room, completely naked. By this time, Shantell had begun to reciprocate Brandy’s sexual advances. They continued to kiss. A strange feeling was overcoming her, and she liked it.

Shantell liked the sweet aroma of a woman. She liked the soft touch of a woman’s hands and her body. She liked what was going on right now. A man had never made her feel this good.

Brandy was loving life right now. The fact that Shantell had responded to her sexual advances, turned her on even more. To her, there was nothing like wanting somebody and them wanting you back. As Shantell’s reactions increased, it intensified Brandy’s passion. She pulled Shantell to the floor so she could really get down to business.

Once on the floor, Brandy buried her face inside Shantell’s pussy. She licked, sucked, and fingered Shantell’s clit. Shantell began to lift her ass off the floor to meet Brandy’s hungry mouth. Shantell was in a sexual trance. This wasn’t the first time she had gotten her pussy eaten, but it was by far the best. She found out first hand that nobody could please a woman like another woman could.

Shantell began to go into sexual convulsions. Her lips quivered as she climaxed time after time. Brandy was unrelenting; she kept right on doing her thing. She was trying to make this something Shantell would never forget. She was trying to turn her out.

What Brandy really did that day was add to the confusion already going on in Shantell’s life. She had Shantell questioning her own sexuality. Was she gay, straight or bisexual? What Shantell really was, was confused.

Brandy had succeeded in seducing Shantell. She uttered the magical words, “I love you.” No one outside of Shantell’s mother had ever told Shantell that. Shantell believed Brandy because she wanted to be loved. Better yet, Shantell needed to be loved, regardless of whatever form love came in. To her, love was love.

Shantell was at Brandy’s beck and call. After awhile, the newness of the relationship began to wear off. Brandy did what every other sexual partner, in the past had done to Shantell. She passed her off to someone else.

“Lonnie, get over here quick!” Brandy whispered into the phone. “I got something for you. Nigga, you gone like this.”

“It’s about time, you hadn’t hooked a nigga up in a minute,” he exclaimed. “Gimme fifteen minutes. I’ll be right there.”

Lonnie was a world-class hustler from Piedmont Court. He and Brandy had twisted a lot of chicks out together on many occasions. Or, whenever one of them was tired of a sex partner, they passed them off to the other.

Before Brandy knew it, Lonnie was knocking at her back door. As he stepped inside the house Brandy put a finger to her lips in order to silence him. She could tell that Lonnie was overexcited, maybe a bit over anxious. He knew this had to be good. Brandy wouldn’t call him for nothing.

“Yo, what’s up with this be quiet shit?” he asked. “I ain’t got time for all this. I gotta be somewhere. Let me do me, so I can go.”

“Would you calm down for minute and let me tell you the deal,” she insisted. “Now listen, all you gotta do is…”

Brandy instructed Lonnie on how to go about everything. This was a delicate situation; if it was handled wrong, then it could mean a rape charge for somebody. Once Brandy put him down with the situation, Lonnie knew he had to use some finesse. After awhile, Lonnie began to have second thoughts about things. He sent Brandy in his place to make sure everything was a go.

Inside the bedroom, Shantell lay on the bed covered by only a white sheet. Brandy walked in and immediately joined her. After a few passionate kisses, Brandy popped the question.

“Shantell, you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” Shantell replied.

“Well, listen…I got this friend sitting’ in the living room. I need you to do me a favor. I need you to take care of him for me. Alright?”

If Shantell ever thought that Brandy loved her or even cared for her, she now knew it wasn’t true. Brandy had sold her out just like everyone else, just when she was at a vulnerable point in her life.

“Wait right here. I’m going to send him in.”

The instant Lonnie laid eyes on Shantell, he got excited. The girl was pretty, young, and in shape. That was a deadly combination in his eyes. He stripped off his clothes and proceeded to have sex with Shantell.

During the course of their sexual encounter, Shantell was so wet, that Lonnie’s condom had slipped off without him even knowing. He was horrified to make that discovery after he ejaculated inside Shantell. It was too late; there was nothing he could do about it.

After Brandy had passed Shantell off to Lonnie, she began to have second thoughts about her. Shantell became soured on the idea of having a relationship with Brandy. Soon, they went their separate ways.

As Shantell struggled with her sexuality, her brother had problems of his own. The black cloud that surrounded Piedmont Courts had engulfed Reggie too. He had fallen in with an older crowd; a group of stick-up kids to be specific. They had been using Reggie as a fall guy. They had him commit the crimes they wouldn’t dare do.

Since Reggie looked up to them, he had no problem putting a gun in his hand and robbing people. He had robbed almost every Circle K gas station in the city twice. Pictures of Reggie began to appear on the nightly news and on some city billboards. His days as a free man were numbered. It was another crime that ultimately would become Reggie’s undoing.

Returning home from a failed robbery attempt, Reggie decided to rob the taxicab driver who had driven him home. The robbery turned into a homicide when the cab driver resisted. Reggie blew the African man’s brains out.

This senseless killing had appalled an entire city. Law enforcement authorities had put a lot of heat on the street. Eventually one of their snitches gave up Reggie’s name. Previously, he had been overheard bragging about the crime in the projects.

Late at night, the S.W.A.T. team raided the Bryant home and found the murder weapon. Neither Shantell nor her mother was home at the time. The case was open and shut.

Reggie Bryant was tried and convicted. He was sentenced to life imprisonment.

There was one person in the world who didn’t feel sorry for Reggie. That was his sister, Shantell. She thought that her brother had gotten what he deserved. She called it karma. She was glad he was gone; maybe now she could get her life on track.

In the months that followed her brother’s arrest, Shantell discovered she was pregnant. The fact that she was going to be teenage mom didn’t even worry her. She always wanted to have something or someone to love unconditionally; now she would have that in the form of a child.

Of all the young lives that were forever altered by circumstances beyond their control in Piedmont Courts, none would change more drastically than Shantell Bryant’s.

You’re a big girl now

The warm spring sunlight felt good against Shantell’s skin. It was a picture perfect day in Charlotte, North Carolina. The nice weather wasn’t what brought her outside on this day. The reason she was out at mid-day was opportunity. She desperately needed the opportunity to make some quick money. Even more so, Shantell needed the opportunity to provide for her infant daughter.

It was no secret in Piedmont Courts that Shantell was damaged goods. She had been around the block more than a few times. So any questions of paternity were bound to invoke anger from any suspecting male. They all claimed, “It ain’t mine.” Another favorite was, “What you telling me for?” Shantell contacted guy after guy, but no one would man up. Some guys even went so far as to threaten to do bodily harm to her. Nobody wanted their reputation tarnished by having a baby by a hoe or a freak.

The entire ordeal was enough to break Shantell’s spirits, yet she refused to fold. If no one would own up to being her child’s father, then she wouldn’t make them. She wouldn’t take a bunch of dude’s downtown to the white man just to figure out the paternity. She wasn’t about to bring three or four possible baby daddies on a talk show, either, only to hear” You are not the father!” No, Shantell would spare herself any further embarrassment. From here on out, this was between her, Jordan and God.