All of You (62 page)

Gigi, Nina, Stella, and Fi sitting in the living room and poor Nathan standing in the corner, arms crossed over his chest. The man looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

Well, that makes two of us.

He shot Kat an apologetic look and she managed a quick nod and tiny half-smile in return before the sisters pounced.

Gigi rushed over, brows low. “Kat, honey, where were you?” She grabbed Kat’s upper arms and pulled her into a tight hug, effectively smashing Kat’s face against her double Ds. “We were getting so worried,
cara
. You weren’t answering your phone and the roads are slippery and…”

Kat tuned Gigi out, squeezed her eyes shut, and breathed deeply.

Keep it together. Don’t lose your shit. Just…hold everything in…let them fawn and blather for a few minutes and then they’ll leave you in peace. Just hold on…

Gigi released her vice grip on Kat’s upper body and pulled back, eyes full of concern. She tucked a wayward piece of hair behind Kat’s ear and caressed the side of her face, “Oh, Kat, you look so tired. Come sit down. So you can rest. And so we can talk to you for a few minutes.” Gigi grabbed Kat’s hand and tugged her toward the couch.

Just a few more minutes and then you can be alone. Just listen to what they have to say, manage to give them some kind of answer, and then they’ll go away.

Kat allowed Gigi to guide her to the armchair adjacent to the couch, where she sank down and folded her hands tight in her lap. Kat eyed her other three sisters warily, not at all surprised by what she saw:

Stella looking confused and distraught and damn near squirming to get into it.

Nina looking pissed and agitated, nervous energy rolling off of her.

And Fi, looking concerned and a little…guilty?

Kat didn’t have to wonder why for long.

“Kat, I am
so
sorry I didn’t pick up on what was going on sooner,” Fi said, reaching over to grab Kat’s knee and giving it a light squeeze. “I should have known all that crying wasn’t about the flare-up. I should have…I don’t know…
known
something major was going on. Especially the second I realized things had slowed down with Danny.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I am just so sorry I wasn’t there for you, honey.”

Before Kat could respond, Stella asked, “Kat, why didn’t you tell me what was going on? I could have helped you,
cara
. I’m sure I could have done something…helped you in some way…” Stella shook her head and waved off her own words. “Never mind. Doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. Now let’s hear what happened so we can figure out how to fix this.”

“Fix it?” Nina shot Stella a pointed look and scoffed. “Fuck that. I wanna hear what happened so I know how much ass to beat!” She turned back to Kat and leaned in, forearms on her knees. “Just tell me what that fucker did, Kat. And I mean, I need to know
everything
. Because what you tell me is going to determine the damage I do to that
asshole
for hurting you.”

“Nina, stop. She already told us Danny didn’t do anything wrong,” Gigi said.

“Yeah. Right. Because it makes total sense that Kat looks like this…” Nina gestured to Kat. “And that she’s been crying her fucking eyes out – which she
never
does – but Danny did nothing wrong.” She scoffed. “What do you think happened, G? They had a little tiff about Danny forgetting to throw his damn boxers down the chute and that sent Kat over the fucking edge?”

Kat tightened her clasped hands harder and tried to keep her breathing even, despite feeling several different emotions rapidly bubbling up inside.

I can’t do this right now. I can’t listen to this today. I feel like I’m going out of my mind. I need to be alone. I need to get away. I need quiet. I need to be by myself. I cannot handle this for very much longer.

“The more I think about it, the more I’m sure no one is at fault,” Stella declared to the room at large. “Danny is a wonderful man and everyone could see how crazy he was about you, Kat. Hell, he flat-out
told
Nathan how crazy he was about you.” She shot Nathan a glance over her shoulder. “Right, baby? Danny told you he was in love with Kat, right?” When Nathan shot her a disapproving look, Stella scrunched up her face at him and turned back to Kat, a smile tugging at her lips. “Well, he did. And I know how crazy you are about him. So I’m sure whatever is going on with you guys is temporary. I’m sure it was a misunderstanding or just relationship growing pains, right? We all go through that kind of stuff. Because you guys are obviously in love with each other – we could all see that. And, if that’s true, then anything else can be worked out.”

A light sweat broke out above Kat’s lip and her muscles began to vibrate. Her head throbbed, her heart ached, and all she could think about was making it into her bedroom and locking the door behind her.

Must get away.

Cannot process any more.

Need quiet.

Need to be alone.

Cannot think about this right now.

“I can’t do this,” Kat said quietly.

Fi’s brows dropped. “Do what, Kat?”

“I just…” Kat unlocked her hands, braced them on the arms of the chair, and pushed herself up. “I just can’t. I’m sorry. I need to go lie down.”

When Kat went to turn away, Nina grabbed her arm. “Wait, wait, wait…where are you going?”

“I told you. I need to lie down,” Kat said.

Nina reared back. “Right this minute?”

“Yes. Right this minute,” Kat replied evenly.

“Well, let’s talk for a little while first, honey,” Gigi said. “We all want you to feel better and I think you’ll feel better if you talk some stuff out.”

Kat inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “No. I’ll feel better if I can be alone right now. Maybe we can talk later, but right now I can’t do this.”

“Do what? Talk to us?” Stella asked.

“Yes, talk to you. I’ve had a long day. I’m tired. And I’m not in the appropriate mental state to answer any questions or deal with any conjectures. I need to go to bed. Now.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Nathan said, dropping his arms and pushing off the wall. “Like I told you guys at Pops’, this was not a good idea. Let’s give Kat some time and space to deal with everything. If she feels like talking later, she’ll let you know. But crowding her like this isn’t fair or doing anybody any good.”

Kat shot Nathan a grateful look.

Unfortunately, none of them listened to a damn word he said.

“Uh, we’re not leaving until we get some answers,” Nina snapped.

“It’s not healthy to keep it all inside,
cara
. Talk to us…we just want to help,” Gigi said.

“Yeah, we all love you, Kat. And we just want to make you feel better,” Fi said.

“Nothing can get resolved unless you express your feelings and tell us what happened, Kat,” Stella said.

And then all four of them starting talking at once, over each other, sending Kat straight to the edge.

She gripped the back of the chair for support and gritted out, “Please, stop,” but nobody listened. The four of them continued to talk – to each other, to Kat, to the room at large, and apparently just to hear themselves talk. “I really need you guys to leave,” Kat said a little louder, but, still, nobody heeded her words.

Well, nobody other than Nathan.

He walked over to the Ciaramitaro gaggle and – in his deep, firm voice – said, “
Enough
.”

But they steamrolled right over him, too, continuing to bombard Kat with questions she didn’t know how to answer and probably wouldn’t have answered even if she had known how. They pushed and they prodded, until Kat felt the grasp on her self-control loosen further.

“I said,
enough
,” Nathan repeated, much louder this time, finally managing to attract their attention.

And their ire.

Nina bristled. “You don’t tell us ‘enough’ when it comes to our sister, Nathan!”

“Nathan, I understand he’s your best friend, but we need to get to the bottom of this,” Gigi said.

“You can stop trying to protect him, Nathan,” Fi said. “Because there is no way he didn’t do something to screw this up!”

“Just like I always tell you, Nathan, keeping stuff inside is not healthy!” Stella pointed at Kat. “She needs to learn how to stop stuffing and let people help her!”

“What you’re doing isn’t helping her, Stella,” Nathan shot back. “You’re suffocating her and making this situation ten times harder on her.” He eyed all of them, head shaking. “I’ve been listening to her ask you all very politely – much more politely than I would have, by the way – to give her some space. But, as usual, you guys don’t know when to take a hint. Or how to give someone room to breathe. So, now I’m going to take charge of this situation.” Hands on his hips, Nathan tilted his head toward the door. “Everybody say good-bye, give her a hug if you insist, and then grab your coats because we’re leaving.” When they just stood there, gaping, Nathan quirked a brow. “
Move. Now
.”

After a brief, stunned silence, all four women – including a surprisingly riled up Gigi – jumped up and into his face like a pack of ravenous hyenas. There were fingers pointing, heads bobbing, and Kat thought she might have heard a couple “
Aw, hell, nos
” and “
who the hell do you think you ares
” coming from a few different mouths at a few different times.

The cacophony of their voices, steadily increasing in pitch and volume, spiked Kat’s anxiety, sparked her anger, and gave her that one last push she needed to finally plummet right off the edge.

“
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
” she screamed, suddenly engulfed in a blind rage that wiped every thought process out of her mind. “Goddamn it, just
go
! Leave me the fuck alone! Just…get…
out
!”

Kat picked up the nearest thing to her – a big, jarred Christmas Cookie Yankee candle – and threw it as hard as she could across the room. It struck the opposite wall with a satisfying thud, the glass shattering and the whole mess of it falling to the carpet with a muffled thump.

She looked around at all of them, eyes narrowed, and seethed – the adrenaline coursing through her body probably the only thing keeping her upright. “I
tried
to ask you nicely! I
tried
to be patient! But the four of you will just
not
let up! You
never
let up! And you just don’t get it! For once in our goddamned lives, this is not about what
you
want! And just this one time it’s not about what
you
need!” Kat jammed her finger into her chest. “It’s about what
I
want and what
I
need! And what
I
want and need is for the four of you to get out of my face! Back off! Stop suffocating me! I don’t want to talk about it and I may
never
want to talk about it! It’s none of your business what happened with Danny! If I had wanted you to know or wanted your advice, I would have asked for it! But I didn’t! Because I don’t! And you’re just going to have to find a way to live with that! Now,
leave…me…alone
!”

Kat didn’t wait for a response, because this was not a conversation, so whatever they had to say back really didn’t matter.

And because she was officially
done
.

Kat turned around, stalked to her bedroom – numb, fatigued limbs, be damned – and slammed her bedroom so hard it bounced back without catching. So Kat got the satisfaction of slamming it a second time before kicking the back of it and locking it. She turned the fan she used to sleep on
high
, kicked off her shoes, and crawled into bed. Covers pulled over her head and her face buried in a mound of pillows, Kat finally felt safe enough let go completely.

But the tears never came. And her brain sort of shut down. Because, suddenly, Kat was too mentally and physically exhausted to do anything more than just lie there.

Completely numb.

She squeezed her eyes shut tight and willed herself to sleep.

‡

“D
amn, I’m glad
that guy didn’t want to press charges,” Nathan said as they trudged down the metal apartment complex stairs. He stepped off the bottom step, Danny right behind him, and added, “The last thing I wanted to smell in our car for the next week is fucking Honeybaked Ham.”

Danny forced a smile and nodded as they made their way toward the cruiser. “Gotta say one thing for Stella’s family – they might be loud and scrappy, but at least they don’t get pissy drunk on Christmas and start throwing fifteen pound cured meats at each other.”

Nathan muttered something unintelligible about candles under his breath before saying, “Well, there’s always next year.”

Nathan unlocked the doors and both men slid into their seats. He turned over the ignition, cranked the heat, and then cleared his throat, which made Danny’s left hand ball into a fist against his thigh.