All He Ever Dreamed (4 page)

She must have nodded off, because the next thing she knew, Josh was nudging her arm, her neck felt permanently kinked to the right, and they were parked outside the barbershop.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” she asked, trying to get her head back in an upright position. And she was pretty sure she had a seat belt mark across her face. “I was supposed to keep you company while you drove.”

“Figured if you nodded off, you must need the sleep.”

After taking her seat belt off, Katie scrubbed at her face, trying to shake off the grogginess. She hated napping. Those first few seconds when she wasn’t in her bed and didn’t know what time it was always disoriented her.

“Go eat something and get some sleep.”

“Thanks for the ride,” she said, opening the door to a blast of cold.

“Stay away from Max.”

She might have argued the point with him, but it was too freaking cold to stand around having a pissing match. Instead she flipped him off as he drove away.

She’d just unlocked her door, which was next to the barbershop’s door, and gone up the stairs to her apartment when her cell phone rang. The caller ID said it was Hailey Genest, the town’s librarian. “Hello.”

“Have you eaten yet?”

Katie flopped down in her battered recliner, which might have been as old as her Jeep, and sighed. She knew she had peanut butter and jelly, but she wasn’t sure the last loaf of bread she’d bought hadn’t become a science project already. “Not yet. Josh and I went to the hospital to see Mom and I literally just got home.”

“How’s Rosie?”

“Getting better. They seem pretty confident she’ll come home Monday.”

“Good news. Now, how about you meet me at the diner for supper.”

“It’s really freaking cold out there.” It would take forever to warm up her Jeep.

“I heard you’re moving in with Josh.”

Katie laughed. “Technically, yes.”

“Diner. Fifteen minutes. You know there’s no sense in putting me off.”

“Fine. But make it twenty.”

* * *

Katie waved to Ava, the older woman who worked the two-to-close shift at the diner, and then to Gavin in the pass-through window before sliding into the booth Hailey had chosen. It didn’t escape her notice they were sitting as far from the coffee counter as possible, which meant Hailey was expecting juicy details. She was going to be disappointed.

“I ordered us both hot chocolate,” Hailey told her. “With extra whipped cream.”

Hailey and Katie hadn’t been very close as kids. Hailey was two years older than Mitch so, other than a notorious tumble with him in the back of her dad’s new car, she hadn’t socialized a lot with the Kowalski kids and Katie was almost always with them. As adults, though, they’d become good friends. They even looked a little alike, though Hailey was curvier and her blond hair was lighter.

“Hot chocolate sounds perfect,” Katie said, and she almost got whipped cream on her nose when she leaned down to inhale it the second Ava set it in front of her.

“You girls know what you’re having?”

“Do you have any of Gavin’s macaroni-and-cheese left?” Hailey asked. “I’ve been hearing about it since last night.”

“I think there are three servings left. You want to try it, Katie?”

“I had it for lunch and it lives up to the hype. I should be good, though. Maybe a grilled chicken salad.”

Ava snorted. “Lettuce doesn’t go with hot chocolate. Beef stew.”

“Beef stew sounds even better.”

Once Ava walked away, Hailey focused all her attention on Katie. “Okay, spill.”

“It’s not that big a deal. With the holidays coming and the first guests arriving at the lodge, there’s no doubt my mom’s going to fight taking it easy, so I’m going to stay at the lodge until she’s totally better. A third bout of pneumonia is not a charm.”

“This is your best shot. Just imagine bumping into him in the dark with you wearing nothing but scraps of black lace.”

She’d imagined it all too often, albeit with slightly different details. “I don’t own any scraps of black lace.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Why would I wear lace scraps?”

“To feel sexy under your clothes.”

That concept made no sense to Katie. “I like being comfortable under my clothes.”

“Don’t tell me. White cotton, right?”

“Don’t ask if you don’t want me to tell you. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Of course not.” Hailey rolled her eyes. “Just think, you can be a spinster like me.”

Katie almost choked on a mouthful of hot chocolate. “Spinster? Seriously, does anybody even use that word anymore?”

“Spinsters do.”

“You are not a spinster, Hailey.”

“Even better, I’m a spinster librarian.”

Katie shook her head. “I’m pretty sure spinsters have to be virgins.”

“Oh, maybe. That would disqualify me, I guess.”

Ava stopped by with their mac-and-cheese and beef stew, which ended the spinster conversation, even if Katie suspected it was only a temporary reprieve. She hadn’t realized she was hungry until the smell of Gavin’s stew hit her. Not even bothering with salt and pepper because he seasoned everything to perfection, Katie dug in.

“It’s best for me if Josh isn’t seduced by your comfy white cotton, you know,” Hailey said after a few bites.

Katie frowned. Hailey knew Josh was off-limits to her, plus she’d never shown any interest in him, anyway. “What do you mean?”

“Paige married Mitch. Lauren’s not only marrying Ryan, but she’s moving away. I need you to be whatever spinsters who’ve had sex are called with me.”

“You’re forgetting something. Even if Josh temporarily succumbs to my irresistible white cotton, I’ll still be a spinster who’s had sex, because Josh is going to leave the second he can. I’ll just have had sex more recently than you.”

“Maybe when he realizes he’s been a blind idiot all these years, he’ll stay.”

Katie shook her head, some of her appetite for the stew gone. “He won’t. All he’s ever dreamed about is leaving Whitford.”

“Fine. Seduce him, use the hell out of him and then send the oversexed, possibly dehydrated husk of him out into the world.”

“That’s a little harsh,” Katie said, but she laughed anyway. “And if he hasn’t noticed me by now, he’s never going to.”

“But—”

“Let’s change the subject.” Katie was tired of thinking about Josh and sex and white cotton. “Does Max Crawford use the library?”

Hailey blinked, obviously thrown off. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“What kind of stuff does he read?”

That earned Katie a wagging finger and a
tsk
-
tsk
sound. “Sorry, love. I never date-stamp and tell.”

“Dammit. I need to know what he does for a living.”

“I heard he’s a serial killer.”

“You should go on a date with him.”

Hailey stared at her for a few seconds, her eyes wide. “I’m just going to sit here while you replay that last bit of conversation in your head.”

Katie did, and then she laughed. “You know Max isn’t a serial killer. I’m at his house all the time.”

“Alone?”

“No, but—”

“Have you ever been in his basement?”

“No, but—”

Hailey jabbed a finger at her. “See?”

“I’ve never been in your basement, either. Or Lauren’s. Really, that would be weird. ‘Hey there, wanna see my foundation?’”

“Good point.”

“I have to find out what Max does for work before Josh does or I’ll have to wash his stupid truck for a year.” Katie gave her best smile. “I bet if you went on a date with Max, he’d tell you.”

“If it was oral for a year, I might take that bullet for you, but washing vehicles? No.”

“You’re always complaining there are no good single guys in Whitford. Max is hot and he has a really great couch. You could have sex on it and cement your non-spinster status. You know, just in case there’s a time limit on the had-sex thing.”

“I hate sports,” Hailey said, and Katie had to admit that could be a problem. “And he never talks to me when he’s in the library. He’s really…awkward.”

“Really? I don’t think he’s awkward.”

“Well, maybe if I was just one of the guys, wearing white cotton underwear while screaming obscenities at the television because some dude didn’t throw a ball right, he wouldn’t be awkward with me, either.”

“I don’t think he knows what kind of underwear we have on.”

“The point is, I’m not banging Max Crawford in his torture chamber in the basement so you don’t have to wash Josh’s truck.”

“When you put it like that, I guess it does sound a little out of bounds, favor-wise.”

Hailey laughed. “Just a little. Why don’t you go on a date with him? Find out what he does and make Josh jealous at the same time.”

“I’m not allowed to use feminine wiles, as Josh called it.”

“It’s so cute he thinks you even know how to do that.”

Katie managed to look offended. “Hey, I have feminine wiles.”

Hailey downed the last of her hot chocolate and set down her mug with a thump. “Prove it. If you’re wily enough to get Josh Kowalski into those white cotton panties,
I’ll
wash his truck for a year.”

Chapter Four

Josh was exhausted. He’d spent more than a few nights praying for snow, but now he’d had enough. Because he’d wasted so much time on the damn Christmas decorations, he was behind on everything else. But trimming the tree while Rosie micromanaged from the couch sounded even worse than dealing with a foot of wet, heavy snow instead of getting the barn ready.

Part of their plan to spruce up the lodge included redoing the floor out there, because they allowed guests to park their snowmobiles in the barn. It kept them snow-free and it made people feel more secure than just pulling them into the yard. But, thanks to the renovations, there was building debris all over the damn place and he had to clean it up, so Mother Nature had kicked him in the balls by dropping double the white stuff they’d expected.

The plow made quick work of the driveway and cut a wide path to the barn, but thanks to the raised landscaping his mother had chosen to line the walkways many years ago, the sidewalks leading to the doors had to be done by snowblower.

He’d just fired it up when he saw Andy Miller’s truck coming up the drive, and he could have cried in relief. He needed the help.

“Would’ve been here earlier,” Andy said when he’d parked alongside Josh’s truck, “but I had to stop and help a lady get her car out of the ditch.”

“I didn’t know you were coming. You do know it’s Sunday, right?”

“Got nothing better to do. I called Rose this morning, but she forbade me from visiting because of the snow. Rather be here than sit on my ass in front of the TV all day.”

“I can use the help.” That was the understatement of the year. Not only was he dog tired, but his leg wasn’t too happy about the cold. “When I called her last night, she was still waiting for the doctor to do his late rounds. Is she still scheduled to get out tomorrow?”

Andy nodded, pulling on his gloves. “That’s the plan. She sounded good, but we’re going to have to duct tape her down to keep her from overdoing it.”

“Katie should be here any time with her stuff. She can do the duct taping.”

“Yeah.” Andy pointed to the snowblower. “Even just standing here I can see you’re favoring that leg. Why don’t you go do some desk work for a while and I’ll take care of this.”

“You sure you don’t mind? I need to make a phone call and it might be smart to rest it for a few minutes before I start on that barn.”

Andy waved him off and Josh went through the back door into the kitchen. He stepped out of his boots and threw his coat on the back of the chair since he’d be putting it back on. Then he pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through his contacts to Sean’s number.

His brother, who was the middle of the five kids, answered on the third ring. “Hey, Josh, what’s up?”

“You busy?”

“I can spare a few minutes. How’s Rose?”

“Good enough so the doctors are releasing her back into the wild tomorrow.”

“Two bouts of pneumonia and winter hasn’t even really started yet,” Sean said. “Maybe we should talk about hiring some help. A teenager or something.”

“Katie’s moving in for a while.”

“Really?” Sean asked, but again with the
reeeeaaaally
.

“Why does everybody say it like that?”

Sean either had a funny cough or choked off a laugh. “No reason. What about the barbershop?”

Josh explained how she was cutting back to part-time hours temporarily and then filled him in a little more on Rosie’s doctor reports, before moving on to the real reason he’d called. “Are you and Emma coming for the Christmas Eve party or what?”

There were a few seconds of silence. “We’re still talking about it, actually. But are you sure it’s a good idea? I mean, Rosie shouldn’t be worrying about feeding everybody and—”

“She’s not. Katie and I are handling everything.”

Sean laughed and Josh thought about hanging up on him. “So we’ll be having chips, dip and a deli platter?”

“You’re funny.”

“So I called Mitch the other night and he said, based on the number of reservations coming in, the lodge should have a good season.”

“We haven’t had this many bookings in years,” Josh admitted. “And the trails aren’t even open yet. They always jump up once the guys in southern New England realize we’re riding up here and they’re not.”

“At this rate, it won’t be long before we have to all get together and discuss what we want to do.”

“I know.”

And it wouldn’t be an easy discussion. They all owned the lodge together, so they’d all decide whether they were selling it or keeping it together. But the one thing they were all agreed on was the fact Josh had been left holding the bag and it was time he got to go have a life.

He wasn’t sure how everybody felt about it. Of course it wasn’t easy to let go of the home you grew up in, but they all had homes of their own now. Sean, though, would probably be the most okay with selling. Even as a kid, he’d hated having strangers in his house and he’d never learned to be comfortable living in a snowmobile lodge. That was one of the reasons Josh suspected, when Sean had gotten out of the army, he’d gone to New Hampshire to visit Aunt Mary and Uncle Leo instead of coming home—he was afraid he’d get sucked into helping out at the Northern Star. It had worked out well for Sean, since that’s where he’d met and fallen in love with Emma. But it didn’t work out as well for Josh, who’d hoped to hand the lodge over to him for a while.

The primary concern for all of them, of course, was Rosie. No matter what they did with the lodge, they’d make sure she was taken care of. But Josh knew if they sold it and the new owners chose not to keep her on, it might break her heart.

Their other option was to hire a manager to run the place once the income could justify the expense. Even though Rosie essentially ran the place, she couldn’t do it alone. And they certainly wouldn’t leave her alone at the lodge to deal with guests who were primarily male.

“My lumber delivery’s here,” Sean said, breaking into Josh’s thoughts. “Kiss Rosie for me and I’ll let you know about the Christmas Eve party.”

“Don’t wait too long. Katie and I need to plan the menu.”

Sean was still laughing when the call disconnected, and Josh flipped off his phone just on principle before sliding it back into his pocket.

He was going to enjoy rubbing everybody’s face in it when he and Katie threw a party even Martha Whatshername would envy.

* * *

Katie parked her Jeep beside Andy’s truck and took a deep breath. Cohabitation time.

It was no big deal, she told herself for the umpteenth time. The fact they’d be sleeping under the same roof for a while didn’t change anything. They’d been friends for decades, so it wasn’t as if things would be awkward or uncomfortable. They’d go on just as they always had.

She was still sitting there when Andy knocked on her window and made her jump.

“You okay?”

She opened her door, making him back up a bit. “I’m fine. Lost in thought, I guess.”

“You need some help carrying stuff?”

“No thanks.” She grabbed the duffel bag off the passenger seat and climbed out. “I travel light.”

“It’s good that you’re able to stay for a while. Your mom’s a stubborn woman, but having you here will help keep her in check.”

“I guess you’d know as well as anybody how stubborn she can be.” Damn, she hadn’t meant to say that.

“Guess so.”

Well, since she’d brought it up, she might as well ask the question. “Andy, was he really sorry? My dad, I mean?”

His expression sobered, and she was almost sorry she’d asked. He was a handsome man, an older version of his son, Drew, but he looked older when he wasn’t smiling. “Honey, I don’t have words to describe how sorry he was. I know it’s not easy finding out somebody you love made a mistake like that, especially after he’s gone and you can’t talk to him about it, but believe me, he loved your mother.”

She shifted the duffel to her other hand and they walked toward the house together. “For what it’s worth, I don’t blame you like Mom did. Dad was responsible for what he did, not you.”

“That’s worth a lot, but if I could go back and not say hello to that woman, I would. Just asking them back to the motel disrespected your mother—and you—and that I’m sorry for.”

“So you guys are really friendly now.”

“I enjoy Rose’s company. I think she feels the same.”

She suspected that was all she was going to get out of Andy on the situation. He wasn’t a man of many words. “Good. You can watch
Criminal
Minds
with her while Josh and I try to figure out how to throw a party.”

That made him laugh. “Good luck with that. I’m gonna go finish snowblowing around the house.”

Katie went in the back door and kicked her boots off next to Josh’s. She was surprised to his coat thrown over a chair, because it was one of her mother’s pet peeves. But she wasn’t home, so Katie peeled off her sweatshirt and tossed it over another chair.

Duffel in hand, she went into the living room and found Josh sprawled on the couch, eyes closed. He was very sexy when he sprawled.

She wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not, but it wasn’t as if she needed him to show her around. Before she headed for the stairs, though, she looked around, taking in the Christmas decorations. Josh had done a good job. So good, in fact, she’d never have guessed Rosie hadn’t done it personally.

The tree dominated the corner of the room—tall, full and glistening with garland and ornaments—and it looked magnificent, even without the light strings plugged in. Because they liked to keep the decorations up the entire month of December, Josh and her mom had bought the artificial tree a few years back when a guest’s allergies forced him to cut short his family’s stay at the lodge.

Sarah Kowalski had loved Christmas trains, and one ran around the base of the tree. It was a cheap plastic set so guests’ kids could play with it, but some of Sarah’s treasured trains were on display around the room. Her favorite—a music box with a tiny train driving around and around a small town—was on the mantel of the fireplace, next to a photo of Frank and Sarah. There were electric candles in each window, of course, and candy cane garland wrapped all the way up the stair bannister.

“I don’t know how Rosie does it,” Josh said, and Katie jumped. She’d almost forgotten he was in the room. “It seems like the weekend after Thanksgiving, I go out for a few hours and—
bam
!—it’s Christmas when I get home. I’ve been working on this since Thursday and I just finished last night.”

“It looks amazing. And I told you to call if you needed help.”

“I had it under control.”

It was too bad, she thought, looking around the room. It would have been fun to decorate together. Passing the garland around and around the tree. Watching Josh stretch to hang the balls high on the tree. Yeah, she might have enjoyed that.

“I guess I’ll take my bag up,” she said when it became obvious he didn’t have too much else to say.

He grunted, but whether it was in response to her or because he was reaching for the television remote, she couldn’t tell. She went up the stairs and down the hall to Liz’s room. Josh’s room was right across from it, but his door was closed. It was tempting to peek in, because she hadn’t looked inside for years, but she forced herself to leave it alone.

It was dumb, anyway. As she’d told others, if Josh was ever going to see her as more than somebody to argue referee calls with, he would have done it by now. She was thirty-three and it was time to start seriously thinking about her future. None of the guys she’d dated had been able to take Josh’s place as the most important guy in her life, and a few had even tried to make her choose. They’d lost, of course.

Now, sitting on the edge of Liz’s bed, she wondered if Josh’s leaving Whitford wouldn’t be the best thing for everybody. It would certainly make him happy, but maybe it would also free her to find a guy who
did
want to settle down with her and make babies.

Just thinking about it made her heart hurt, though, so she shoved those thoughts aside and went to the room next door to strip her mom’s bed. She was here to help with the lodge so her mom wouldn’t relapse, and that’s what she’d do. That was
all
she’d do.

* * *

As eager as Rose was to be home, the journey really—as Earle would have said—beat the snot out of her. By the time Josh, who insisted on holding her elbow whenever she was in motion, took her coat and practically pushed her onto the couch, she never wanted to move again.

The lodge looked beautiful though, she thought, taking in the holiday atmosphere. “Did you two decorate this together?”

“Josh did it,” Katie told her. “I told him to call me if he needed help, but of course he didn’t.”

That wasn’t part of the plan. She’d known when she’d asked if he’d gotten the tree up yet that he’d make sure it was done before she was released, but Rose had imagined him calling Katie to help him. They’d deck the halls, maybe watch a movie. Cuddle on the couch. That was her plan.

Clearly she’d underestimated Josh’s stubborn streak when it came to not asking for help.

“I was thinking,” she said. “I’d like for everybody to dress for Christmas Eve.”

“Yeah, me too.” Josh snorted. “Running around naked with lit candles and hot gravy can be a bitch.”

She pinned him with a look, but he only grinned at her. “I want everybody to dress up. Really make it a party.”

Both kids groaned, but Katie got her objection out first. “You want our family party to be formal? Seriously?”

“I’m not talking tuxedos and pearls, or even ties. Just everybody looking nice so we can take pictures.”

“Specify
nice
,” Josh said.

“A shirt with buttons would be nice.”

He grimaced. “With jeans?”

She considered that for a few seconds. Josh’s wardrobe wasn’t exactly well-rounded. As far as pants went, he owned sweats, jeans and a funeral suit. “As long as they’re nice ones. No holes or raggedy hems.”

The sound of a truck coming up the drive made her smile. It was Andy’s. “If I can talk him into staying, you two can still go to Max’s for
Monday
Night
Football
.”