All-American Girl (22 page)

And then there was Jax. He was about the same age as Ava and almost as important to Samantha. What if Jax got caught up in Lance and her relationship? What if she had to break Jax’s heart? Samantha sighed. She already knew her own heart was going to break, and she just hoped she didn’t hurt anyone else in the process.

The fact that Jax thought everyone needed a mate choked her up, making her rethink her priorities. If Jax thought his dad needed someone to be with, she wasn’t the best candidate. But she hadn’t known how say that to Lance, so she’d focused on Jax instead during dinner and the park. It helped settle her jangling nerves and loosened the tightness gripping her chest every time she looked at Lance.

She was fool, and a fool staring at a blank computer screen to boot. Her creative juices had stopped flowing—actually, they hadn’t flowed since that day Jenny left. With Lance deep in her thoughts, she couldn’t focus, let alone write.

She wanted bang her hollow head against the wall and for the yucky, churning feeling in her gut go away. The only way past this was to talk to Lance. With another sigh, she pushed the laptop off her legs and stretched out across the couch. She needed to figure out how to do something about this mess without making it worse.

“Ouch!” A sharp object stabbed her leg. Jax’s T-Rex sat comfortably on her couch cushion and she smiled. He probably missed it. She picked it up and glanced at the clock; it was a little after eleven. Were they still awake? It wouldn’t hurt to call. If anything, it would give her reason to apologize to Lance.

Lance had been staring out the window so long that his coffee had gone cold. He dumped it into the sink. He wasn’t tired, but was considering dragging himself up to bed for a restless night when the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Lance?”

The throbbing behind his eyes stopped. “Yes, Sam? Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s kind of late. I…I have Jax’s T-Rex.”

Lance breathed a sigh of relief. “I know. Took me forever to get him to go to sleep without it.”

“Oh, well, why didn’t you call? You could’ve come and gotten it.”

“After dinner and the park, I didn’t know if you wanted to see me.”

“Can I come over?”

That snapped his eyes open. There was an innocent tone to her voice, a vulnerability he hadn’t heard before. “You sure?”

“Yes.”

He gave her the address and hung up, baffled. The T-Rex could’ve waited until morning, but she’d been almost breathless on the line. She had something to say. That was fine; he had something to say himself.

He paced the living room until she arrived, and when she knocked, he took a deep breath and walked to the door. Opening it, he inhaled sharply. Her tormented expression didn’t conceal her beauty. Her hair was tied back as usual, and he wanted to tug out the ponytail and feel the silkiness of her locks between his fingers.

He settled for: “Hey.”

Samantha held out the T-Rex like a peace offering. When he reached out and took it, their fingers met. Hers were soft, which put him in mind of what her body felt like molded beneath his. Hot. Seeking. Wanting. He shook the memory from his mind to cease the growing erection between his thighs.

“Do you want to come in?” he asked.

“Yes, thank you.”

She stepped past him, her sweet scent drifting behind. He’d do anything to wipe the sadness from her face.

She spun around once inside the door, closing the distance between them and pressing her lips to his. After the initial shock, he savored, then plunged, ravishing her mouth. One hand gripped the top of her jeans while the other dove into her ponytail, breaking the elastic. Her hair spilled between his fingers. She moaned against his lips.

All his questions evaporated. All thoughts disappeared as he got lost in her. She wanted to give; he wanted to take. Her legs wound around him like a snake, and her body pressed into his. Her hands gripped his shoulders tightly, and when he opened his eyes, he saw the moisture pooling in hers.

Reality came crashing back. He wouldn’t use her. He needed to know what was wrong before going one step further.

“Samantha,” he breathed as he slowed the kiss. She froze in his arms. “I need you to talk to me.”

Her grip loosened and fell away. She took a step back, keeping her attention focused on the floor. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

His expression hardened. “Don’t apologize.”

She ran a shaking hand through her hair.

“Talk to me,” he repeated.

She tilted her head up to look at him. The moisture had spilled over and cascaded down her cheeks. He reached out, wiped away a tear and cupped her face. She closed her eyes and smiled.

“I’m sorry for my behavior at dinner. I didn’t mean to be rude or disconnected. I was…”

“Thinking about a mate?”

Her smiled wavered, and he dropped his hand.

“How did you know?” she asked.

“You’re easier to read than you think. I knew from the moment Jax asked you.”

“Oh.”

He leaned toward her. “Listen, I get it. You don’t want to think about love, marriage, a litter of kids, and house with a white fence. Jax caught you off guard. You thought maybe I thought what he thought. It scared you.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t want to think past this right now. That’s fine. I can deal with that. But you have to give us a chance. You have to let your guard down. You have to let me in.” He moved closer, took her hand and caressed it. “You have to talk to me. Don’t think about tomorrow. Just worry about today.”

“I’m sorry. I want to be fair to you, me, and Jax. I can’t help but think about tomorrow, or next week. Or next month.”

“Don’t—”

“I’m trying. I
will
try. For us. Because right now, I want to be with you. It’s all I can think about, all I can feel.”

“Then feel, Samantha.” He brushed his fingers across her lips. “Just feel.”

His lips closed over hers. She opened for him, and he took. He grabbed her hips, hoisted her up, and continued to take as he walked toward his room. She moaned and sighed, taking his breath away with each movement. By the time he took the twelve steps to his room, his control had snapped.

She wanted to feel, and he would show her. Once inside the room he turned her around and ravaged her neck with his lips before jerking her T-shirt over her head and biting down on her shoulder. She whimpered and stilled. “But, Jax—”

“Has been in bed for hours,” he rasped. “And he’s a deep sleeper.”

His arms came around her, gripped her waist from behind and held her steady, tracing kisses along her back. He licked. Bit. Cherished the subtle curves. Trailing lower, he reached around and unsnapped the button from its mooring, sliding the jeans off her perfect hips and down her sleek legs. He suppressed a groan when he caught a glimpse of her rear. She wore a thin, black thong.

The erection tightening his pants grew. She stepped out of the jeans and twisted around. Trailing his fingers up her body, he made his way up her front, kissing and nipping at the exposed skin. Her legs trembled.

He took her hands, pulled her down on the carpet, and engulfed himself in her body. In her taste. Her touch. Within seconds she was panting beneath him, clawing at the floor, pulling him into her. He wanted all of her.

“Just feel, Samantha. Feel.” His mouth found the sweet spot between her thighs and he was completely enchanted. He ripped off her thin panties and devoured.

She writhed beneath him, her body twisting as his tongue flicked over her most intimate part. She cried out and tensed around him as he drove her higher, again and again. As his mouth ravished, his hands clasped and massaged the sweat-slicked planes of her body.

Another spasm rocketed through her, making her cry out for him. It was maddening. Unable to take any more, he sheathed himself in latex, flipped her over in one smooth move, and drove into her from behind.

“Oh God!”

He cursed silently and thanked all things holy as her wetness wrapped around him. All he could think, see, and breathe was her.

He held her hips and took long, fast strokes. She moaned his name over and over. He bent and kissed her neck taking in her scent, her taste. Everything.

Heart pounding, his muscles bunched and clenched with each movement. A sudden climax made her body shake, arms finally buckling. With one final thrust, he was lost in rapture. His brain was muddy, his muscles like jelly. Collapsing, he slid to the side and collected her in his arms. His heart flipped over in his chest, laid itself out, and took her in. Forever.

Those three little words were on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed them. He wanted so much to tell her how he felt. What he really wanted. Who he needed.

Instead, he tugged her closer, kissed her softly, and listened to her heartbeat as she faded off to sleep.

“Never too old, never too bad, never too late, never too sick
to start from scratch once again.”
~Bikram Choudhury

W
OW.
T
HAT
W
AS
A
LL
S
AMANTHA
could think when she awoke the next morning. Lance’s arms were tucked tightly around her, his breath tickling the back of her neck. What was it about him that made her feel content and full of life?

She eased out of his arms and sat on the edge of the bed to look at him. The morning sun peeked in through the curtains, washing over the chiseled features of his face. She felt that familiar—and now painful—twinge in her chest.

He could have all of her in the blink of an eye if he wanted. She sighed and rose, careful not to wake him.

She didn’t want to leave his side, but she didn’t want Jax to catch them either. Pulling on her pants and top she slipped from the room, embarrassed and nervous. As quietly as possible, she padded to the front door. She’d call him later and explain her feelings about Jax finding them together. They hadn’t had the chance to work out that detail.

She was almost out the door when Jax’s raspy voice startled her.

“Samantha?”

She froze and slowly turned. Jax was standing a few feet away, hair rumpled, sleep still evident in his eyes.

“Yes?”

“What are you doing here?”

A knot in the back of her throat almost choked her. “I brought back your T-Rex.”

His eyes lit up. “You did?” He bounced toward her and tangled his arms around her. “Thanks!”

Samantha drew in a shallow breath. “You’re welcome.”

“You wanna stay for breakfast?” he asked.

“Um—”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Jax,” Lance’s deep voice rumbled from the hallway.

Samantha glanced up and saw him standing in the doorway, hair messy and clad in nothing but jeans. His eyes darted to her hand on the door handle, then back to her face.

She let her hand fall away from the door. “I’d love to, Jax.”

“Great!” He turned to Lance. “Can we have pan-e-cakes?”

“Didn’t you have those yesterday?”

“Yes, but I like them.”

“Okay, fair enough. Go wash up.”

“Yeah!” Jax ran up the stairs.

Lance chuckled, then turned his attention to Samantha. “Going somewhere?”

She shifted her weight anxiously. “Um…no. It’s just—”

“Calm down.” He closed the distance between them and took her hand. “You look like a hunted rabbit. It’s okay. Relax.” His lips brushed across hers.

“I’m sorry. We didn’t talk about this, so I wasn’t sure how you wanted to handle it. I didn’t want Jax to get the wrong idea.”

“Don’t worry about Jax. He likes you. And he’s young, so he doesn’t understand the rest. You being here at night, with me, was like a sleepover. I would like for you to do it more often.”

For an instant, her heart jumped at the idea. Then she sighed. “One day at a time, Lance.”

He kissed her softly. “One day at a time,” he repeated. “But remember, you can’t hide from me. Don’t run from me.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” He tugged her toward the kitchen. “Let me show off my mad chef skills.”

“Ha, I can’t wait to see that.”

“Oh, be prepared to be surprised. Candice isn’t the only one in the family who can cook.”

She nuzzled her face against his arm. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Samantha made her way home after breakfast, feeling better. She was ashamed for trying to leave. She should’ve trusted her feelings more, and trusted Lance. He wouldn’t have put her in an awkward position like that. She made a mental note to remember in the future.

Her phone rang as she walked in the door. She dropped her purse, laid the picture Jax had drawn her after breakfast on the table, and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Deadline’s ticking, Samantha. What have you got for me?”

Samantha groaned inwardly—it was Matt, her agent. “I’m working on it.”

“You mean you’re not finished?”

“No.”

“What have you been doing this past week?”

Her temper spiked. “Did you forget why I came to Vermont?”

“No, I’m sorry. It’s just the publisher has been calling me every day making sure you were going to meet your deadline. At least I haven’t been calling you every day.”

She took a few deep breaths. “I’m sorry, too. It’s been crazy up here. I’m working on it. I promise.”

“Good to hear. You’ve got a week and a half. I’ll check back in a few days. I know it’s stressful, but I’m urging you to do your best. Finish it.”

“I will,” she replied quietly.

She clicked the phone off and sank into the chair, falling from cloud nine with a deafening crash. She wanted to finish her book, but just needed to figure out how.

Creativity had come easily right after Jenny left. Samantha didn’t know why, but it just came. Now it was gone again. Maybe a phone call to her best friend would conjure up some inspiration.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jenny, it’s Samantha.”

“Oh my gosh! Samantha, I’ve been thinking about you. I realize I only left a couple of days ago, but I can’t stop thinking about how you’re doing. How’s your grandmother? How’s Lance? How’s everything?”

“Whoa. Take a breath.”

“Oh, sorry. It’s just…I’ve been worried about you.”

“Worried?”

“Yeah, well—you’d made so much progress when I left, and I was curious how you were holding up.”

Samantha blew out a loud breath. “Well, a lot has happened in the last few days.”

“Tell me everything.”

Samantha folded her legs beneath her and spilled her guts.

“You love him, don’t you?” Jenny asked.

Samantha smiled. “Yes.”

“Why haven’t you told him?”

“Because I’m not ready for that. I’m certain he’s not ready for that. I mean, he’s got a kid. A life here in Vermont. I’ll be going back to New York soon. I told him I’d give him a chance, and I am, but I can’t take it farther than that. I highly doubt he expected
this.
” She waved her hand absently in the air.

“Well, I hate to be frank, but
this
is exactly what happens when two consenting adults have a relationship. One of you is bound to fall.”

“That’s the problem. He hasn’t.”

“How do you know? I mean, maybe he was thinking the chance would turn into something like this. Isn’t that what chances do?”

Samantha rolled her eyes. Jenny was right as always. “True. But he hasn’t said he loves me. I need him to say it. I don’t want to be first in case I’m wrong.”

“If he did, would you stay?”

“That’s just it. I don’t know. I didn’t expect this. I didn’t want this. And I don’t want another failed relationship. I couldn’t handle it. Dealing with Ryan was hard enough.” Samantha curled into a ball. “I’m
still
dealing with it. He’s called a few more times. My attorney has, too.”

“What does he want?”

“Well, since the divorce is final, I’m guessing he’s decided he wants more money. He won’t get it. I haven’t returned his calls or the ones from my attorney. I’ll deal with that mess later. If ever.” Samantha shook her head to clear away the painful memories. “Right now, I figure I’ll enjoy the time I have here now, because I have to come home soon.”

“And forget about Lance? That doesn’t sound like a good plan.”

She sighed. “I never said I was smart. After all, I can’t give Lance what he needs—even if he asked for it. I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him but now that I have, I’ll have to deal with it when I leave.”

“Will you be able to?”

She curled herself tighter. “I’ll have to. There’s no other way around it. You know what they say about lying in the bed you made…or something like that.”

Jenny laughed. “Yeah, something like that. I just wish you’d give yourself more credit. I think you could have something good with Lance. You’ve just gotta—”

“No.” Samantha drew her bottom lip into her mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I knew going into this
relationship
with Lance, I wouldn’t be able to take it that extra step if needed. I guess I set myself up for failure.”

“Hey, don’t say that. I know you, Samantha. You’ll figure everything out in time.”

Time.
That was something Samantha didn’t have. In one and a half weeks her book would have to be done, Gram would be home, and she would be on her way back to New York. Then reality would set in. Until then, Samantha would rather live in her fairy tale.

“Yes, I will. Don’t worry about me, Jenny. Anyway, I called for another reason, too. After you left, I got inspired and started writing. It was only for that one day, though. When Lance and I…”

“Got together?”

“Yeah…everything stopped.”

“Why?”

“That’s why I was calling you. I was hoping you could help me figure it out.”

A brief silence hummed on the line. “Honey, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what your book is about. I’m not a writer, so I don’t know how that process works. I wish I could help you.”

“That’s okay. I was just hoping…well, I don’t know what I was looking for when I called you. But I do feel better. Thanks for talking with me.”

“How is Gram?”

“She’ll be fine.” Samantha told her the wonderful news. “It’s me I’m worried about.”

“Need me to come up again?”

Having a friend like Jenny was better than eating ice cream sundaes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She was always ready, willing, and able to help.

“No,” Samantha replied. “I’ve got to work this out for myself.”

“Good luck. I’ll be thinking about you. Call if you need anything.”

“I will. Thanks, Jenny. I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything. That’s what friends are for.”

Samantha fought the tear that threatened to fall down her cheek. She really owed Jenny more than she would ever know.