Alive (Mended Hearts #1) (17 page)

“No, we have everything. We’ll see you soon,” my mom replies.

I get my car keys off of the side table, and then walk out the front door, to my car.

****

After parking outside the local store, I walk across the lot. I hope I don’t bump into anyone. The last thing I want to talk or hear about is Matt. I’ve not spoken to any of my old friends since that frightful night, and I plan on keeping it that way. The only true friend I had was Chloe, and I pushed her away. I intend on sorting things out with her when I return to campus.

The bell on the door rings as I step inside
, and the familiar smell of hot dogs graces my nostrils. I never thought I would be so happy to smell it. I used to hate the fact that it always stunk of hot dogs in here.

As I go
over to look at the magazines, Mrs Jenkins, the old lady who owns the store, waves at me. “Maisie, dear, how lovely it is to see you. How have you been?”

“I’m doing well
. How are you?” I reply.

“Oh
, you know, the same. I’m not getting any younger, dear. I should be retired, but seeing faces like yours every day makes me want to carry on working. I’ve missed seeing you around. Tell me. How’s college?”

Mrs
Jenkins is nearly eighty years old. She’s run the local store for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, she used to give me free candy, and then when I got older, she gave me a part time job. I really look up to her. She’s had a tough life. Her husband and children died in a car crash, and she’s never moved on. She just carries on running the family store by herself. I used to keep her company, but now, I don’t think she has anyone. I’ll need to spend some time with her while I’m home.

“Oh
, I love college. My classes are fantastic.”

“You’ve got th
at glint back in your eyes, sweetheart. Is there a special somebody who’s put it back there?” This woman is too smart for her own good. She never misses a thing.

With the biggest smile on my face, I tell her, “Yes
, actually, there is. His name is Jesse.”

A smile takes over her face too
. “Oh, that’s wonderful, dear! You deserve someone who obviously makes you happy. Have you got a picture of him that I could see?”

I t
ake out my cell phone and scroll through my pictures until I find one that I took of us the day we first made love. Showing her my phone, I watch her expression.

“He’s a bit alright
, isn’t he?” she says, winking at me. “If only I was fifty years younger.” That causes me to laugh. Hard.

Under the sweet little old lady act, there’s a woman with a lot of fire
still. Mrs Jenkins isn’t immune to a good looking guy. I remember from when I worked with her. If a good looking guy came in, she would flirt with them. I used to look forward to those days; it was entertaining to watch.

The bell on the door rings, signaling someone entering. Putting my cell phone in my pocket, I look up to see who it is. The smile falls from my face the second my eyes land on Matt. I stand stock still, stunned into silence. He looks as clean kept as ever
with his tidy hair and expensive clothes. He hasn’t changed a bit.

What surprises me the most
, though, is that I feel nothing when I look at him. My stomach doesn’t do a little summersault like it used to, and my heart doesn’t skip a beat. Now, he’s just like any other person.

I haven’t seen him since I walked out of his party. He tried to come to my house to see me before I left for college, but thankfully
, my dad wouldn’t let him in.

Now I have Jesse
, the best looking and kindest man I have ever known. Matt doesn’t have anything on Jesse. If I had to compare the two, Matt is mediocre. My skin is crawling just looking at him after all this time.

“Maisie, I didn’t know you were back,” Matt says, breaking the silence.

Swallowing, I say, “It’s Thanksgiving. Of course I came back.” It comes out as more of a croak. I need a drink.

“Of course,” he replies, staring at the floor. “It’s good to see you. You look like you
’re doing well.” Yes, no thanks to you, fuckwit, I think.

“That’s what moving away does. No drama, nobody who knows
you. I started over again,” I tell him honestly. His face falls at that revelation. Turning back to Mrs Jenkins, who’s silently watching the scene play out in front of her, I tell her, “I’m going to head home now, but I’ll come back to see you before I leave. It was nice to see you.”

“You too
, dear. Make sure you do come back to see me. Oh, and ignore him. You have an incredible man now. Matt is your past. Don’t hold on to those of your past. They are there for a reason. Let go and focus on what Jesse can offer you in the future,” she says just loud enough for Matt to hear. She sure is a wise woman.

Ignoring Matt on my way out, I walk to my car.

“Maisie, wait,” he shouts, running toward me. Fuck. I was so close. Now I’m going to have to talk to him. I have nothing else to say that I haven’t already said.

I feel him stop behind me
, but I don’t turn around. Maybe he will take the hint.

“I just want to apologize, again, for what happened. I’m so sorry. I regret it every single day. I miss you
, Mais,” he says sorrowfully.

“You’re forgiven,” I reply bluntly.

“Well, I don’t forgive myself. I never will. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I lost you.” I can’t bear to hear this anymore. Why does he have to drag up old demons?

I turn to face him, seeing him with his head held downwards in sorrow.

“Look, I have to go, but just forget about it. I have. You will never move on with your life if you keep holding onto the past.”

“I overheard
Mrs Jenkins in there. I take it you have a new boyfriend then?” Matt pipes up, just as I’m about to spin back around.

I knew as soon as
Mrs Jenkins said it, that Matt would hear. Who was I kidding, hoping that he wouldn’t ask? I’m not going to tell him, though. He has no right to ask anymore.

“It’s none of your business if I do or don’t have a boyfriend, Matt,” I reply, my voice filled with finality. Of course
, he’s never listened to me before, so why would he now?

“It is my business
, Maisie,” his voice, which is filled with disgust, matches the look on his face.

“How the fuck is it any of your business
, Matt? You were the one who cheated on me, remember? You chucked us away when you decided to go elsewhere. You lost the right to know anything about what I do that night. This conversation is over. Goodbye, Matt.”

I have to leave right now
, or I will lose my temper. How did I ever find him attractive? People always told me that he was controlling when it came to me, but I never believed them.  I couldn’t. I was blinded by what I thought was love for him. I realize now that it wasn’t really love, though. It was just a silly high school crush. I love Jesse more after two months than I ever loved Matt in the four years we were together.

“You’re just a dirty whore
, Maisie. It didn’t take you long to move on at all. We were together for four years! How can you move on in five months?” His nostrils flare like they always do when he gets angry.

Did he just call me a dirty whore? Oh
, hell no. I’m not having that.

Moving to stand right in front of him, I poke him in the chest and hiss at him, “
Don’t you dare call me a dirty whore! I wasn’t the one who ruined our relationship, Matt. You did when you slept with Megan. So yes, I’ve moved on. I wasted five months of my life living through the motions, and then Jesse came along and helped me get out of the big black hole that I thought I was trapped in. So sue me for finally having a life.
” Shit, I just told him Jesse’s name. Oh, it’s not like he’s going to hunt him down and beat the shit out of him, is it? Might as well just tell him.

“And I apol
ogized for that!” Matt shouts, exasperated. “So his names Jesse? How did you meet?” He’s now as cool as a cucumber. How does he switch moods so quickly?

“Yes
, and if you must know, he’s in my English class.” I put my hands on my hips and sigh.

It doesn’t look like I’m getting home any time soon. Matt obviously has a lot of questions to ask. Well
, if he’s going to be nosey, I’ll give him what he wants. I doubt he will be happy about it, but if he doesn’t want to hear it, then he shouldn’t ask.

“So he majors in English?”

“No, he’s the captain of the football team. You know how I’ve always liked sporty guys,” I tell him, trying to gauge his reaction. He bristles at that. Good. That will teach him.

“Yeah, I do,” he says quietly. “How long have you been together?”

“Nearly two months. Are we nearly done here? I have things to do,” I say.

“Just one more question
, and I want you to be honest with me, okay?” he asks, looking me straight in the eyes. It’s making me nervous. They are the eyes that I used to spend hours staring into, but now I can barely stand to.

I nod my head, waiting for him to spit it out.

“Have you had sex with him?” he finally asks.

Did he really just ask me that? Who goes around asking their ex if they’ve had sex with their new boyfriend? He isn’t going to like my answer
. However, he wanted the truth, so I’m going to give it to him.

“Yes.” I don’t hesitate to answer. I’m not ashamed. My first time with Jesse was the best I’ve ever had. He knew what he was doing. He showed me love the whole way through, catering to my needs, spot on. A smile appears on my face from rethinking back to that night. I’ve engrained it to my memory.

“Of course you have, and by the smile and the dazed look in your eyes, I’m guessing you’re imagining it right now. Well, it was nice to see you again, Maisie. Have fun back at college with your new boyfriend.” With that, he walks off to his car, which is parked on the other side of the parking lot.

Had I known that would piss him off, I would have told him about ten minutes ago. Oh well. I’m not going to dwell on it. There is nothing more that needs to be said between us. I can finally get on with my life, without Matt subconsciously entering my mind
and trying to destroy it. Old demons are put to rest now.

With a smile on my face, I hop into my car, turn on the radio, and head back home.

Chapter
14

Matt

When I headed to the store, the last person I thought I would bump into is Maisie. I haven’t spoken to her since the night I made the biggest mistake of my life. That night still haunts my nightmares.

The night of my party, Maisie and I had an argument. Over what I can’t remember now, all I know
is that it had something to do with Chloe. I hated that bitch. She always got in the way of my relationship with Maisie. The only reason I put up with her was because she was Maisie’s best friend. I tried to subtly keep Maisie away from her. She was bad news, constantly sleeping with guys, partying all the time, and she was generally just a loud mouthed bitch.

Anyway, after the football match, that we won, I went back to
my house and started drinking before everyone was due to come round. By the time people started arriving, I was completely shit-faced.

When Megan tried it on with me, I stupidly said yes when she asked if I wanted to sleep with her. She’s always had a crush on me for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been interested in her
, though, as I’ve always only had eyes for Maisie. No way would I usually choose Megan over her, but I was intoxicated. You know what men are like when they’ve got a load of alcohol in their system. They fuck anything and everything. I’m no exception. However, usually I had Maisie with for when I need to let loose. She wasn’t there at the time, and to be honest, after our fight earlier, I doubted that she would turn up. So I went for it. I risked everything for a lay that wasn’t even very good.

When I saw Maisie st
anding in my bedroom, watching the whole thing play out in front of her, my heart literally dropped into my stomach. I sobered up instantly. It was too late, though, because she had witnessed my betrayal. I knew that was the end of us straight away, but I had to at least try to salvage our relationship.

Maisie was it for me
. She was who I saw spending the rest of my life with. All of that disappeared the minute I saw her face. She looked so heartbroken. I see that face every night in my dreams, except it’s not a dream. It’s a fucking nightmare, and it plays on repeat every night, taunting me with what I fucking lost all because of one stupid fucking decision.

Maisie told me never to contact her again. I couldn’t do that
, though. I had to see her, to try to sort our relationship out. If she never forgave me, then I would have to live with that for the rest of my life.

I went to her house every
day for the next three months, to no avail. Her dad wouldn’t let me past the front door. I’m surprised he didn’t kill me for what I did, actually, though he wasn’t too pleasant whenever I saw him. I wasn’t giving up on her, though. No way.

I heard she had left for college when I started at the local one that we were both
supposed to attend together. Someone from out graduating class told me. I was so pissed off at myself.

Anyway, I didn’t hear any news on her for months, until about a month ago. Some girl called Tiffany added me on Facebook. I’d never heard of her before, but she looked pretty hot if her profile picture was anything to go by
, so I clicked accept. A message came through straight away, asking if I knew a Maisie Peterson. My heart dropped, wondering if something bad had happened to her. When I replied yes, Tiffany asked how I knew her.

She told me that Maisie was dating someone
named Jesse Cohen, that Maisie stole him from her. When I didn’t reply, she said she wanted my help. She wanted me to help her get Jesse back. I didn’t know who this girl was. She could have been bullshitting, for all I knew. Plus, the Maisie I knew wasn’t like that. She must have had the wrong person. I told her I would let her know.

W
hen Maisie let slip her boyfriend’s name, I knew that Tiffany was telling the truth.

She had finally moved on, forgetting
all about me. Maisie isn’t supposed to be with anyone but me. She is it for me, and I won’t let anybody else have what I can’t.

Back in my car, I watch Maisie pull out of the parking lot. I’m fuming.

Opening up Facebook on my phone, I send Tiffany a message, telling her “It’s on.”

If I can’t have her, then no one else can either
, especially not this Jesse guy. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get her back where she belongs, which is with me.