Alive (Mended Hearts #1) (7 page)

Looking up at Chloe
, I see pity shining in her eyes. I hate pity. I’ve seen it from everybody close to me for the last four months. “Stop looking at me like that.” Pity still shines in her eyes.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do
. You won’t listen to me anyway. Just follow your heart, Maisie. I know you don’t want a repeat of what happened with Matt, but Jesse might be different. You won’t know until you give it a shot. So what if he has a reputation with women? He just might not have found the one worth settling down for yet. You might be her. Don’t call it quits when you haven’t even given him a chance to prove himself. You’ll regret it years down the line,” she says, a stern tone underlining her voice. She’s right, though. She’s smart at giving advice. I just wish she would listen to her own advice every once in a while. It would save her and Jake a lot of trouble.

“You’re right. I
do need to give him a chance. Otherwise, I’ll never forgive myself. Not everybody is like Matt. I just need to realize this.” Chloe nods her head at me, not saying anything. She doesn’t have to. She knows she’s knocked some sense into me. “Oh, before I forget, Jesse invited me to watch him play football on Friday. It’s the first of the season, and apparently they’re playing their rivals. I don’t want to go alone, but I want to watch him play. Come with me, please?” I ask, putting my hands in a prayer pose. Chloe just laughs at me.

“Babe, you don’t have to ask. Of course I will come. Next time just say, ‘
Hey, bitch, you’re coming to the game with me on Friday’.” We both crack up laughing, earning a few odd looks from other customers.

“Where have you been recently? You’ve hardly spent any time in the dorm room since Saturday.” I hadn’t really thought about where Chloe was, until now.
I’ve been too wrapped up in myself.

“Oh,
nowhere, really. I’ve just been hanging out with Evan. He’s actually an alright guy, which is odd seeing as he’s friends with your brother, the king of dickheads.” Hmm, I wonder what Jake thinks about this. I doubt he knows. Otherwise, I’m sure Evan would have gone missing by now. Chloe really knows how to piss Jake off. I don’t want to be around when it all blows up in their faces.

“Chloe, do you think it’s wise hanging around with Evan? You know how Jake is going to react whe
n he finds out.”

“Maisie, your brother has had years to sort his act out and ask me out. Has he bothered? No. He sleeps with a different girl every weekend, flaunting them in my face. Have I ever said anything to him about it? No.
Because it’s not my place. If that is how he wants to act, then that’s his problem, but I won’t wait around forever for him. Besides, I’m allowed a little fun in my life as well. I get along well with Evan. I’m not going to chuck away what could be good for me, just to wait for your brother to pull his head out of his ass,” she says, growing frustrated.

“You know Jake’s not very good at commitment. I don’t know where he gets it from
, either, as Mom and Dad are happily married. He does have feelings for you, though, Chloe. Even if it is weird for me to admit my brother and best friend like each other, you both need to pull your heads of your asses. Each of you is as bad as the other. However, I want you to be happy. If Evan makes you happy, then that’s fine with me. Just be warned, Jake won’t take it well. I suggest you tell him if something is going on between the two of you, before he hears through the grapevine. Please?” I ask, trying to get my point across. I will get dragged into this, and I don’t want anything to do with it. Having Chloe explain to Jake what is happening will hopefully calm some of the storm, which is likely to follow.

“Of course.
I’m sorry that you’re going to have to get involved, Maisie. I just want to forget about Jake. He’s done nothing but bring me heartache, which is why I’m telling you to catch Jesse before he lets you go. I don’t want you to have regrets,” she says, all somber. Something is up there. There’s no point asking, though, because I won’t get any answers.

I check
the time and see that I have an hour until my next class. My stomach growls right on cue, reminding me that I haven’t eaten anything today. “Do you want to order some food? I missed breakfast this morning, so now I’m starving,” I explain, my stomach rumbling again.

“Yeah, I could do with something too
,” Chloe agrees.

For the rest of my break, we talk about how our classes are going. We don’t talk about Jesse or Jake again. We’ve
already said all that needs to be said. Now, I just have to find a way to let Jesse in. I hope he’s worth it.

Jesse

My nose still hurts. Damn, that girl has an awesome right hook. Who would have thought there would be such strength behind her tiny frame? Not me, that’s for sure. I now know not to piss her off.

When I turned up to practice,
Coach questioned about my nose. When I told him what happened, he nearly pissed himself, laughing and telling me not to underestimate the female strength. I just told him he was right.

I missed practice
, as Coach made me go to get my nose checked out. There was no point in arguing with him, or he would have benched me for Friday’s game, and the team needs me.

Getting checked over by the nurse took
a while. She told me that my nose wasn’t broken, just bruised. I could have told her that. There wasn’t any point in going back to practice, so I decided to go to the gym to let off some steam.

That’s where I am now, t
hree hours later. Exercise is usually my way to release tension, except today, it doesn’t seem to be working. No matter how many weights I lift, or how far I run, all I can think about is my brown eyed beauty. I think about how I’m not good enough for her, how much I want her to be mine, and how to try and break down the wall that she seems to have put up.

For the first time in my life
, when it involves women, I’m confused. Maisie is the exception to everything I know. All I know is that I want her in a way I’ve never wanted any other woman before. I want her for more than just a way to get my kicks. I want her to be in my future, to see where life takes us. It’s a scary thought for me. I’m only nineteen, and I think I may have possibly met my future a few weeks ago.

My cell vibrates in my pocket
, distracting me from my thoughts. Checking the caller ID, I see Brandon’s face on the screen. We haven’t really talked since Saturday night. “Hello,” I answer.

“Where were you at practice today
, man?” Brandon asks. Nosy bastard.

“Coach sent me to see the nurse. Maisie punched me in the nose when I crept up on her.” I laugh.
Brandon full on cackles. Jesus, I think he just burst my ear drum.

“Oh man, that is just too funny. I would have loved to have seen that. How does it feel being given a bit of your own medicine? It’s not fun being punched in the nose
, is it, fucker?” Nothing like getting straight to the point. We need to talk about this sooner or later. He needs to know to stay away from Maisie. If he doesn’t, I’ll just have to punch him again.

“You deserved that,” i
s all I say.

“I know. I’m a dick when I drink. At first
, I didn’t recognize who she was, not until you told me. You know what I’m like when I’ve been drinking. I think I’m fucking invincible, man. It was a shitty thing what I did to you. I’m sorry, bro,” he apologizes.

“I’m not going to fall out with you about this
, Brandon, but I’m warning you to stay away from her. She isn’t like the other girls you sleep around with. Maisie is special, and she deserves someone who won’t fuck her over.” I’m a hypocrite. I can say to other people that she deserves better, except when it comes to me. I know I’m possibly going to fuck her over worse than the other boys in this campus probably could, but I want to try to be what she needs. She is worth fighting my demons for.

“
Yo, Jesse, you there, man?” Brandon says into my ear, reminding me that I’m on the phone.

“Yeah, sorry
. What did you say?”

“I said you must really like this girl.” Is it really that obvious? Brandon’s known me since kinde
rgarten. There’s no point lying to him, either, because he’ll know.

“Yeah
, man. I’m hook, line and sinker. I know I’m not better than you for her, but I just can’t stay away. And trust me, I’ve tried. I took her to the zoo yesterday, Brandon. The fucking zoo! When was the last time I went to the zoo, let alone took a girl there? Hell, I’ve never taken a girl anywhere, except to bed, in my life. You should have seen her. She was so carefree for the first time since I met her. Usually, she has a wall built up, not letting anybody in. For the first time yesterday, I saw the real her shine through. Her wall went down a little bit, and now I want to completely knock it down. Man, I sound like a pussy.” I laugh awkwardly. I never express my feelings. I feel like a teenage girl now.

“Wow...”
is all Brandon says.

“I know
, right?”

“Jesse, don’t let your past ruin your future. You’re not your dad
, and Maisie isn’t your mom. Just because you have the same DNA as that shithead, doesn’t mean you’re like him. Your mom would tell you the same thing. You dote on that woman, so you can love, Jesse. Wow, listen to me giving advice. I should become a counselor.” I snort at that. Brandon, a counselor? What a joke. Though, he does have a point this time. I can’t let my past dictate my future.

“I know. Only problem is
that she just wants to be friends. She says that she’s just got out of a bad relationship, which I’m guessing is why her guard is up around me. She knows my reputation, which doesn’t help either. I’m just going to have to give her time, show her that I’m serious about us, and hope that eventually she feels the same.”

“That’s all you can do
, bro. You want to meet up later? Grab a beer or something?” Brandon asks, changing the subject. I think he’s done all the woman talk he can for one day, and I don’t blame him. I think I need to check to see if I still have my balls.

“Not tonight. I promised
Mom I’d put up her new dresser for her. I’ve been putting it off for the last few days, so I really need to do it for her. Tomorrow?”

“Yeah
, tomorrow’s good. Catch you later,” Brandon replies. Ending the call, I get back to doing my weights.

For the next hour, I bench press more weights than I’ve ever managed. I needed to feel like a man again. For a few minutes, I had thought I had grown a vagina.

It’s late when I make it home. Mom’s not in, so I heat up my dinner, eat it, and then head upstairs to get started on her dresser. Putting on my iPod, Imagine Dragons, Demons plays. This song is the theme tune for my life, especially now that Maisie’s walked into it. Eventually, she will see the demons that I can’t get rid of. I just hope that, like the song, she will show me how and not give up on me.

Chapter
6

Maisie

Chloe and I get to the field at five for the football game. It isn’t supposed to start until six, but we’re meeting Jake and Evan here earlier so we can find a seat. When Chloe told me that we were going with them, I asked her if it was a good idea. Apparently, it will be fine. I also asked her if she had spoken to Jake yet. Her answer? No. Tonight is going to go really well; I can feel it. Chloe and Evan better be subtle around each other, so Jake doesn’t catch wind about what is going on behind his back.

Walking over
toward the concession stand where we are meeting the guys, I see the blonde girl who threatened me on Monday. She hasn’t seen me yet. Thank God. I’m not in the mood for another run in with her just yet.

“Maisie,
isn’t that the girl from the coffee shop the other day?” Trust Chloe to mention it.

“Yup, that’s her alright. Try not to draw attention to us. I’m not in the mood for her to threaten me again,” I say, hoping
she will listen to me for once. It’s never been her strong suit.

“Don’t worry
. We’ll be stealth like!” Chloe says, walking on her tip toes, looking like a twat.

“
Chloe, stop it. You’re drawing more attention to us,” I say laughing.

“Alright, alright
,” she replies, walking normally.

We’re almost past Blondie when I hear Jake shout, “Maisie, over here!” Fuck sake
! That will definitely draw attention.

“Uh-oh
,” Chloe says next to me. She knows I’m going to kill Jake now, fucking loud mouth that he is!

When I turn
around, I see Jake and Evan standing with a group of guys. Jake waves us over. I don’t miss the way he checks Chloe out as we make our way toward them. Subtle, Jake. Very subtle. “Don’t shout my name like that again, Jake. It’s embarrassing. If you had just met us where you said you were going to, then you wouldn’t have had to shout like that, fucker,” I say, punching him in the stomach. He doubles over, holding onto his stomach. Serves him right.

“Fuck
, Maisie. Did you have to do that?” he asks, trying to catch his breath. I think I winded him. Good.

“Yes
, I did. Now stand up, you pansy. You look like a tool in front of your friends.” All of his friends are just standing there laughing at him. He’s going to be pissed off at me for making him look like a twat. Oh well. He just drew attention to me, so I think we’re even. I’m surprised Blondie hasn’t walked over to me yet. I risk a glance over my shoulder at her. She’s standing there with two girls, who I’m guessing are her friends, staring at me. Joy.

“I’ll get you for this
, squirt.” Jake says, now standing up. “Come on, then. We need to get seats before they’re all taken up. Plus, we always sit in the same place.” Following Jake, we all head up the bleachers. We end up sitting half way up in the middle of the bleachers. I have to admit; I have a good view.

I’ve been
dreaming about seeing Jesse in his uniform all day. I love guys who have athlete legs; all muscle- yum. Matt had strong legs, and it was my favorite part of his body. I don’t want to think about him, though. I want to think about Jesse. When we talked earlier, he asked me if I wanted to do something tonight. I haven’t seen him this week, except for in class, so I agreed. Since my talk with Chloe the other day, I’ve decided to give him a chance, his reputation and my heart be damned. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Tonight, I’m going to show him that my guard is down and I’m ready to let him in. I’m pretty nervous, to be honest. I just hope I haven’t gotten my hopes up and read the signals wrong. I think he likes me too, but I’ve always been inexperienced when it comes to guys.

“Oh
, I forgot to ask,” Jake says, nudging my arm. “How’d you know Jesse?”

“Oh, he’s in my English class
,” I say nonchalantly.

“Well
, just be careful, okay? He has a worse reputation than me. I don’t want you getting hurt, or I’ll have to kick his ass, even if he is a friend.” The less I tell him, the better. I don’t need Jake getting involved in my business and having words with Jesse. It’s nice that he cares about me, but it can be a little overwhelming sometimes.

“We’re just friends
, Jake.” I tell him rather abruptly, hoping he will drop the conversation. I hope we’ll be more than friends one day; however, I don’t say that out loud.

“
Hey, dickwad, leave her alone. Who Maisie gets involved with is none of your business. She isn’t going to turn into a whore like you, so you have nothing to worry about,” Chloe interrupts. This is the first time she has said anything to Jake since we met up half an hour ago. That’s unusual for her. Guess that’s why she had to get her dig in when she could.

“
Fuck off, Chloe. I’m just looking out for Maisie, and you’re just jealous because you have no one to look out for you,” Jake quips back. Oh here we go again...

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous to have a brother like you?” Chloe looks at Jake with disgust in her eyes.

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m not your brother then, or otherwise, it’d be incest,” he answers back, a smug smile on his face. Oh no. I shake my head ‘no’ at Chloe. I don’t need Jake finding out about her and Evan like this. I don’t want to be involved. Chloe gives me the tiniest nod of her head, letting me know that she won’t. Nobody else would have noticed her nod, except we’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember. We can talk without anybody knowing.

A creepy smile takes over Chloe
’s face. “If you say so, sweetie,” she finishes, and then turns around and carries on her conversation with Evan, who looks completely confused. I don’t blame him. I doubt he realizes he’s planted himself in the middle of their cross fire. I just raise my eyebrows at Jake.

“What?”
he asks confused.

“When will you two be able to have a conversation without arguing?” I don’t hear his reply as the music welcoming the teams starts up. A team wearing gold and black comes out, which I’m guessing is the Titans
’ rivals, the Dirtbags. Next, our team comes out wearing a navy blue, orange and white uniform. Jesse is the last to run onto the field. The crowd goes crazy when they see him. Wow. He really must be a superstar here. I didn’t realize. Why would I, though? I don’t usually watch football.

I’m able to check Jesse out from up here without him noticing, so
I take full advantage of it. He looks sexy in his uniform, way off the hotness chart. And his legs? Oh my. Best. Legs. I. Have. Ever. Seen. They are so muscled and tanned. I just want to run my tongue up his legs. They look that good. His top is quite tight, like his usual attire, showing off his beautiful tattooed biceps. It’s no wonder the women love him. I’m sitting here discretely drooling, when I’m sure all of the female population here, young and old, are doing exactly the same thing. Getting a look at his face, my eyes meet with his dark orbs, which are staring right back at me. A smirk lifts one side of his mouth up.
Shit, I’ve been caught.
Trying to act nonchalant, I smile back at him, shrugging my shoulders. I look more confident than I feel. If he was standing in front of me, I’m sure he’d see that my face is beetroot red right now. Jesse winks, and then turns to get in position. What position he plays, I’m not sure. “Jake, what position does Jesse play?”

“
He’s the quarterback,” he replies, eyes on the game.

“Is he any good?” I ask, watching the ref blow the whistle.

“Hell yeah. He’s the best CSUF has had for the last ten years. Jesse will go down in history. He’s already got scouts turning up to his games, wanting to sign him on when he leaves.” Wow. I’m speechless. Jesse never told me he was that good before. He’s got an amazing future ahead of him.

I watch the rest of the game, cheering when everybody else cheers. That way
, I don’t look like a fool. I’ve sat with my hands covering my eyes for most of the game since the second minute. I’ve decided I don’t like to see Jesse being tackled in case he gets hurt.

By the end of the first
half, the score is seven-nil to us. Of course, Jesse’s legendary status is accurate. He scored on the twenty-ninth minute. When he scored, I think I lost a little bit of my hearing. I thought the crowd went crazy when he ran onto the field, but that was nothing compared to how they acted when he scored. I’m blown away by how much these people love him, and also how much he loves them. When he scored, he really paid attention to his fans, joining them in the celebration.

I need a drink
after all that cheering. “Jake, how long do we have to wait until the second half begins?”

“Fifteen minutes. Why
? Where you off to?” he asks, looking at me for the first time since the game started. He’s a huge football fan. He’s just not the best at playing it.

“I’m thirsty
, so I’m going to get a drink. Do you want anything while I’m there?” I ask, being the generous sister that I am.

“I’ll just have
a water, please.”

“
Chloe, I’m going get a drink. Do you want one?” I shout just to be heard over the noise. She’s sitting between Evan and Jake; not a smart choice, but hey. I’m not going to tell her what to do.

“
No, I’m alright, thanks. Evan got me one before the game.” Jake’s head swivels at her revelation. Oh shit. I’m out of here before it all kicks off.

Walking down the bleachers, I see parents
who have bought their children to the game. Whether they are supporting someone playing today or have just come for fun, it’s great to see. Everyone seems to be smiling. I never knew that the atmosphere at a football game could be so welcoming and happy.

Passing the
restrooms, I decide I’d best go. We have another forty-five minutes before I can go again. The restrooms are surprisingly empty, considering it’s half time. At least I can pee in peace now.

As I’m z
ipping my skinny jeans up, the door to the restrooms open. “I definitely saw her come in here, Tiff.” Huh? Saw who? I hope they aren’t talking about me because I’m the only one in here.

“Check the cubicles.” Wait a second. That voice... Oh shit. That’
s Blondie. Didn’t they call her Tiff? Tiffany, I’m guessing, is her full name. She looks like a Tiffany.

I hear shoe
s crunching against the linoleum, stopping outside of my cubicle. The door rattles on its hinges. “Someone’s in this one. I’m betting it’s her. Want me to have a look?” What. The. Fuck. For all she knows, I could be on the toilet, and she’s willing to look?

“No
, Emily. She’ll have to come out eventually. We’ll just wait,” Tiffany commands. She’s the ringleader, I’m guessing by the tone of her voice. Not wanting to look scared of them, I exit the cubicle, meeting three sets of angry glares. I make my way past them to wash my hands. They just turn and stare at me through the mirror.

Taking the lead, I ask, “I take it you’ve come back to warn me to stay away from Jesse again
, except you’ve brought your posse with you this time.” Drying my hands on the paper towels, I turn around to face them, waiting for my answer.

“I’ve been thinking
, Maisie. The thing is, what I don’t think you realize, is that guys like Jesse don’t belong with girls like you. He belongs with a girl like me, someone of the same social status. And unfortunately for you, you don’t have a social status... Yet,” she replies, her glare not once leaving her face.

“And your point is?” I ask, totally confused
as to where she’s going with this train of thought.

“My point is that if you don’t stay away from Jesse, you will have a social status, but it won’t be a good one. I’ll make you out to be a whore. And do you know what the best thing about my plan is?”
She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “It’s that nobody will believe you when you try to defend yourself, because they don’t know you. People know me. I’m high up in the food chain compared to you. All the guys will talk to you just for a piece of ass, not because they like you. And the girls... well, they will look at you like the piece of trash that you are.” Wow, she’s thought about this really hard. I know I should just tell her to do her worst, but nobody wants to be perceived as the local whore. Plus, what can I do to stop her? Like she said, I’m nobody compared to her. Maybe it’s best if I just give up before anything even starts with Jesse.

“Fine.
I’ll stay away from Jesse. But if he ever comes back to you for sex, it doesn’t mean he wants you. A bit of advice- don’t degrade yourself like that.” With that, I make for the exit.

“He loves me. He just doesn’t realize it yet
,” Tiffany says confidently. I just shake my head at her stupidity and make my way outside.

The concession stand is desolate now. What’s the time? Shit, the game started five minutes ago, I realize
as I check the time on my phone. I don’t want a drink now. I don’t even want to watch the rest of the game. I just want my bed. I don’t expect to move from there for the next two days. Why does the world have girls like Tiffany in it? What good do they do except try to make people’s lives miserable? She’s right, though; I’m not good enough for him. Jesse’s proved that tonight. He has his future mapped out ahead of him. Me? I’m just going to be a boring English teacher. He should be with a model or someone equally in the same league as him, not sitting at home with a girlfriend who marks essays for a living. That’s all I can offer him. I don’t know why I even thought about letting him in. He deserves so much better than what I can give him.