Aligned: Volume 4 (8 page)

“Have you eaten anything?” I ask when I notice she somehow looks smaller instead of bigger despite being pregnant.
 

She shakes her head. I lead her into the kitchen and help her sit at one of the two barstools looking into her small kitchen.
 

I don’t bother to ask her what she wants; I just open her fridge and search for something healthy. She doesn’t have much food, though. Just eggs and milk and bread. I sigh as I take the eggs out and begin to make her scrambled eggs and toast.
 

“You have to start taking better care of yourself,” I say not looking at her as I scramble the eggs in a skillet.
 

“I’m trying,” she says weakly.
 

“You have to try harder. When is your next doctor’s appointment?”
 

“Not for a few weeks.”
 

“I’m going to hire you a chef and maid to help take care of things around here.”
 

She doesn’t object. She doesn’t say anything. I’m going to have to start checking on her more or she’s going to lose the baby, and as much as that would make my life easier, it’s not what I want. She wouldn’t ever forgive herself if she lost the baby.
 

When I finish making her breakfast, I place it in front of her and then I take a seat next to her.
 

She lifts the fork on autopilot and begins to eat but doesn’t look at me.
 

“What are you thinking about?”
 

“That I’m going to make a terrible mother.”
 

I grab her and force her to look at me. “You are going to make an amazing mother. You are not like your mother.”
Just like I’m not like my father
, I think.
 

She shakes her head, and I understand. I understand that is too hard to believe. I understand because I feel the same way. I’m afraid I’ll end up just like my father. And no child should be raised that way.
 

“I’m afraid you aren’t the father, and then I’ll have no one.”
 

I take a deep breath when I realize her fears are the opposite of mine. She fears I’m not the father. I fear I am. “No matter what, I’m going to be in this baby’s life. I’m not going to abandon you. I’ll help financially. I’ll help in every way you need.”
 

She tries to turn her lips up in a smile, but her lips don’t fully curl up. She still looks sad and worried.
 

“I’ll go get it,” she says getting up from the table despite only eating a couple of bites of her breakfast. I have to make her eat more when she gets back.
 

She comes back from her bedroom quickly with an envelope in her hand. I stand as she comes near me, and she hands me the envelope without looking at it. Instead, she stares at her feet as she wraps her arms around her stomach.
 

I turn the envelope over and am surprised to see it is still sealed. If it had been sent to me, I’m not sure I would have had enough strength to wait until she got here to open it.
 

“You ready?” I ask.
 

“Open it.”
 

I keep my eyes on her as I slip my finger under the fold of the envelope and slice it open. I watch as she closes her eyes in fear as her arms wrap tighter around herself.
 

I pull the piece of paper out of the envelope with surprisingly steady hands. Probably because I already know what it will say. I already know that no matter what it says, it won’t change how I feel about Caroline or Alex or this baby. It won’t change my actions. It will just change my future.
 

I skim the paper with my name at the top and with several numbers that don’t mean anything to me. I skim until I get to the bottom with the results. I skim until I see the number 99.998% probability.
 

I close my eyes and tip my head back just for a second. When I open my eyes again, Caroline is staring at me. She takes my actions as relief. And it is relief. Relief that I finally know the answer. That I don’t need to guess about my future anymore.
 

“I’m going to be a father,” I say handing her the paper and smiling at her the best I can, even though inside, my heart is breaking for Alex.
 

I look at him with lust in my eyes. I don’t know why I want him. He’s not Landon. He’s not what I want. Except he is.
 

I take the piece of paper out his hands and stare down at it for myself. My eyes widen when I see the number 99.998% chance that Landon is the father. I’m not sure I believe it even still. I never thought it was really true. I just hoped because I know, despite what he thinks about his past, he will make the best father.
 

Better than any other man I have ever met.
 

A happy tear falls down my face as Landon pulls me into a hug. He’s going to be in my life forever whether he marries that skank or me. He’s mine forever.
 

When he finally pulls away from me, he is still smiling to my surprise.
 

“What are we going to do now?” I ask.
 

He sucks in a breath. “We are going to take care of you and our baby.” He reaches out and touches my stomach. It feels amazing to have his hand touching me there, but it’s not what I want an answer to.
 

“What about Alexa?”
 

A frown forms on his face at the mention of her. “I’m going to tell her the truth and then see what she wants to do.”

I frown. I don’t like it. It’s not enough. She could forgive him for this. After all, they weren’t together when it happened.
 

“I see,” is all I say.
 

“Don’t,” he says lifting my chin to look up at him. “Don’t feel like I don’t care about you. Like I don’t love you in your own way. I do. I just love her too. I’m just trying to do right by both of you.”
 

“What if that isn’t possible?”

He looks down at my stomach. “Then I’ll do right by our baby.”
 

I smile.
 

“I have to go, though. I have a meeting with my choreographer this afternoon. I’m going to call Drew, though. He can make sure you have whatever you need. You should probably start looking for a new place soon. He can help you do that. And I’ll make sure he arranges to have a chef and maid to help take care of you when one of us can’t be here.”
 

“You aren’t going to look for a house with me?”

He freezes as he looks at me. “No.”
 

I nod in understanding because it’s a hard line for him. He walks back to me and gives me a soft kiss on the cheek. “I’ll call you soon. Call me if anything happens with the baby, and I’ll send Drew over soon.”
 

I nod again as he walks to the door. He pauses as he opens it and looks back at me. “It’s all going to be okay.”
 

I smile as he leaves. It is all going to be okay. It’s going to be better than okay. I just need to make sure Alex is out of his life. I rub my stomach as I think about it. I’m such a bitch for ruining another woman’s life, but I have to. I will do whatever to protect this baby inside me. I will not let the same fate come to this baby as what happened to me. I will be strong. I will be a mother.
 

***

“We need to stop for lunch,” Drew says.
 

“But we have three more houses to look at.”
 

He frowns as his eyes glares at me. “Lunch.”
 

I sigh. “Fine, but I’m really excited to look at the next house. It might be the one.”
 

“You said that about the last six. I don’t know what you are looking for, Caroline, but any of them seem fine to me.”
 

Drew parks his Mercedes in front of one of my favorite restaurants, despite the fact that I never go here. It has pasta and carbs and fat and everything an actress despises. I don’t know if I will be able to turn it down today, though. I’m starving, and the baby is hungry.
 

I watch as Drew walks around to my side of the car; he opens my door and holds out his hand to help me climb out of the car in my teal dress and heels. I feel better after getting dressed properly. I’ll feel even better after a good meal.
 

“Thank you,” I say as I climb out. Drew smiles at me.
 

“You’re welcome.” His eyes dart to my dress taking in my still tight body despite the pregnancy. Although I doubt that will last much longer. His hand finds the small of my back as we walk to the restaurant.
 

“If I remember correctly, this was one of your favorites.”
 

“Yes.”
 

We take a seat at a small table opposite each other. The waiter comes over and asks us what we want to drink.
 

“White wine,” I say on autopilot before I remember I can’t.
 

Drew frowns at me, scolding me like the father figure he always was. He was always trying to keep Landon and me out of trouble. Except we didn’t want to be kept out of trouble. Maybe we should have, though, and we wouldn’t be in this situation. We wouldn’t have so much baggage that we will never escape from.
 

“Water,” I say quickly.
 

“Water,” Drew says.
 

“Can we also go ahead and order our meals? I’m starving,” I say as Drew beams at me, happy to hear that I will be eating something.
 

“Of course,” the waiter says.
 

“I’ll have the lasagna with a side salad dressing on the side. Can we also start with an appetizer of breadsticks and the Caprese salad.”
 

The waiter writes everything down.
 

“Oh and a side of the fettuccine alfredo.”
 

The waiter’s eyes grow large as he turns to Drew.
 

“I’ll just take a salad,” he says handing the waiter our menus.
 

Drew just sits staring at me a huge smile on his face.
 

“What?”
 

“Nothing. Just happy to see you eating. You’re far too skinny.”
 

“I am not. Don’t let my agent hear you say that. She won’t let me out with you again. I’m already three pounds heavier than I was.”
 

His smile just gets brighter. “You’re beautiful.”
 

I don’t know why, but his words make me blush. His words never have before. I take a sip of the water the waiter brought us to cool my flushed cheeks.
 

“So what did you think about the last house we looked at?” I ask.
 

“It was nice.”
 

“Just nice? It was grand and beautiful.”
 

He nods. “It was. It also wasn’t the house for you.”
 

“What do you mean?”
 

He shrugs. “I don’t know. It just didn’t feel like the right house for you.”
 

“Why not?”
 

“I expect you to find something that is completely unique and beautiful like you. That one didn’t have enough ...”
 

“Enough what?”

“Enough strength in its beauty. It was just beautiful and fragile.”
 

I stare at him wide-eyed. He’s wrong if he thinks I’m anything but fragile.
 

The conversation ends, though, when our appetizers are brought out and I dig into the food. Loving the taste and how it feels as it slides down my throat.
 

“You know I’m going to be there, right?” Drew says suddenly out of nowhere.
 

I swallow my bite trying to understand what he’s saying.
 

“I’ll be there for you and the baby. No matter what happens between you and Landon.”
 

The gesture is sweet. I know he means it, but I don’t need Drew. I need Landon. And frankly, I’m still mad at Drew for ruining my best chance at happiness with Landon.
 

“I know, Drew, but I don’t want you to. It’s not your responsibility. It’s Landon’s. The test proved that.”
 

He nods and then opens his mouth to say more but thinks better of it.
 

I return to eating. The test said it was Landon’s. The test proved it, despite my reservations. There is no arguing with 99.998% accuracy. It’s fact, not a theory. Landon’s the father. It’s Landon’s.
 

53. The number of days my mother had left to live when she got the cancer diagnosis.
 

I fire the gun, making me jump the first time the slick handgun backfires in my hand. I look at the paper with an outline of a man hanging opposite me. I hit the target right in the middle. Right in the heart.
 

I fire over and over, getting more precise with each shot. Each backfire seeming less and less extreme. Each shot making me feel more and more confident as I hit the target’s heart over and over. Never missing.
 

I smile after I stop. I won’t miss. When the time comes, I won’t miss.
 

My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I answer it.
 

“Hello.”
 

“I can meet you in ten minutes at the coffee shop on Fifth Street.”
 

“See you then,” I say hanging up the phone. I hate being secretive, but it’s the only way. Nick agreed to meet me. He agreed not to speak of this to Ethan or Laura. I told him I was in trouble and needed him to come. I told him I thought somebody else might be after me, but I didn’t want Ethan to worry. So he agreed to meet me and to keep it a secret. That’s why we didn’t agree on when or where until now.
 

I put the gun in my purse. I won’t need it today, but soon. I know my time is running out, and I will have to use it soon to save my life. But I have to figure out how to save James first.