Aligned: Volume 4 (19 page)

Ethan keeps the gun on me as he opens the nightstand drawer and pulls out a syringe. He fills the syringe and then tosses it to me.
 

It drops to the floor at my feet.
 

“Pick it up.”
 

I bend down and slowly pick up the syringe. I keep my eyes on Alex the whole time. She’s shaking and shivering.
 

“She needs a blanket.”
 

He laughs. “You don’t get to decide what she wants.” He grabs her breasts and squeezes her nipple causing her to writhe and moan as he does. “I decide what she needs.”
 

“Stop. Torture me, not her.”

He twists one more time just to torment me and then stops.
 

“Oh, I plan to do both. Now inject yourself with the syringe.”
 

I look down at the syringe in my hand with confusion.
 

“No.”
 

He points the gun at my head now.
 

“Inject yourself with the syringe.”
 

I take a deep breath. “I can’t do that, Ethan.”
 

He grabs Alex’s hair twisting her head. Hard enough that a tear leaks from her eye. He points the gun at the side of her head. She winces for a second then opens her eyes and looks deep into my eyes. Her eyes are calmer now. Much calmer than I expected.
 

I take a step to her on instinct.

“Don’t move,” he says as he presses the gun hard against her head. I freeze.
 

“Okay, Ethan. Don’t do anything crazy.”
 

“Inject yourself with the fucking syringe!”

I glance down at Alex, who shakes her head gently side to side. I hold the syringe firmly in my hand. A syringe that I’m sure is going to knock me out. It might even kill me.
 

I keep my eyes locked on Alex’s beautiful eyes.
 

“I love you,” I say, and then I plunge the needle of the syringe into my arm.
 

I feel his release building higher and higher. “Come for me,” I hiss.
 

My hand flies through the air and slaps Drew on the face. He snaps his head back to look at me despite the sting I know he feels on his cheek. I’m so angry I can’t think straight. Drew does nothing but ruin everything anytime Landon or I seem happy. I can’t stay here. I need to go after Landon.
 

I turn and storm back to the driver’s side of my Audi. Drew’s faster, though. He runs ahead and puts his body between the door and me.
 

“You’re not going to drive when you’re angry. You’re not going to get yourself and my niece killed.”
 

I huff and try to push past him, but he stands strong. “Then I guess I won’t be leaving this fucking tarmac then.”
 

He holds out his hand. “Keys.”
 

I throw them at his chest, but it doesn’t give me the satisfaction I was hoping for because they bounce off his chest and into his hands. Drew opens the door and gets into the driver’s side of the car while I climb into the passenger seat. I slam the door shut to make sure he knows I’m angry.
 

He begins driving us back to his and Landon’s condo. And even though I have my own house now, I don’t want to be alone. I haven’t slept one night at my house. Instead, I’ve spent every night at the condo. I’m not about to start spending the night on my own tonight. Not when there’s a chance Landon will be back tonight, and I can get to the bottom of this.
 

Tears burst from my body as the feelings of the day overwhelm me. I could blame it on pregnancy hormones, but that’s not the cause. Not really.
 

The car stops at a stoplight, and that’s when Drew decides to look at me. I expect some snide remark about how stupid I am for loving Landon. How wrong I am.
 

Instead, he says, “I’m sorry.” He takes a deep breath. “When I made the decision to fly us back to check on Alex, I wasn’t thinking about you. I wasn’t thinking about what was best for Landon. He was a mess and unable to make a decision. I had to decide.” He turns from me to look back out the window.
 

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think the label will actually drop him. And even if they do, another label will pick him up.”
 

I shake my head. “I’m not upset because of Landon.”
 

He raises his eyebrows.
 

“I’m not.”
 

“You’re mad at me.”
 

“No. I mean yes. Yes, I’m mad at you. All you have fucking done is ruin my life. You ruined my chance at marriage. You ruined my chance at love. You ruined Landon’s career all so he could chase a girl who doesn’t want him.”
 

I burst into tears again. It’s not just about Drew. Yes, I’m angry, but this emotion isn’t all because of him.
 

It’s because of a call I got earlier. A call that told me they had my brother and he was going to be going to jail. A call that told me he was still in a wheelchair, but not because he couldn’t walk, but just because he never went to rehab to build up his strength again. A call that told me he was still using the money I sent him from Landon every month for drugs instead of taking care of himself. A call that told me I was safe, but it makes me hate myself for being happy. It makes me hate everything, and it makes me hate Drew even more.

Drew doesn’t say another word until he parks the car in the garage. He turns the car off and then looks at me hesitantly. His face looks sad and is full of longing.
 

“Why do you want him?”
 

I frown and grab the door handle ready to get out of here. I don’t want to hear him tell me I’m an idiot for wanting Landon. Or that I no longer deserve him because of my actions. He doesn’t need to know why. I know he is who I’m supposed to be with. That’s all that matters.
 

“Wait,” he says and grabs my arms. He takes a deep breath before he continues. “I forgive you.”
 

“What?”
 

“I forgive you. I was mad at you, and I thought I hated you, but I don’t. I was more mad at myself for not believing better of my own brother than I was angry with you. You were just trying to survive. I forgive you.”
 

I feel the tears falling again this time at his sincere words. I didn’t expect them. Not from him.
 

“So when I ask you why, it’s not out of hate. It’s not because I don’t want you to be happy. I do. I need you to be happy. You two just never made sense together. So other than this baby that is coming, what is keeping you holding on to him?”
 

My stomach growls, ruining the moment. We both smile. “Go cook me some food and I’ll tell you.”
 

2. The number of people I want to find love with. A husband and child.
 

He’s here. I can’t believe Landon is actually here. I don’t know how or why. I thought he was in jail, but he said they released him. He said he was innocent, and right now, I choose to believe him. I need him.
 

I don’t know how he knew to come after me, but he did, and I know I just fell harder for him. But I wish he had stayed away because now, he’s going to die. Just like I am.
 

His eyes stay locked on mine. Beautiful golden brown eyes that should have so much life left in them are now filled with fear. The same fear that reflects in my own eyes. He holds the syringe loosely in his hand.

I shake my head. If he injects himself with the syringe, he’ll be as good as dead. I can’t let him.
 

And then I watch in terror as Landon pushes the syringe into his arm. I scream and thrash against my restraints trying to break free. I can’t move, though. I can’t save Landon. I no longer feel the pain, though, when I move against the restraints. All I feel is fear at what Landon just did.
 

I watch as Landon collapses to the floor from the drugs now pulsing through his system. Drugs that paralyze and poison the body. Just keep breathing. Keep breathing. I can’t watch him die.
 

I look back at Ethan who still has the gun pressed against my head. He’s smiling as he watches Landon collapse to the floor. His eyes turn to me.
 

I try to speak to tell him he needs to go to Landon. To make sure he’s still breathing. The duct tape covering my mouth prevents me, though, and my words just come out like pained groans.
 

I try pleading with my eyes. I try begging. I try moving my head back and forth between Ethan and Landon. I try anything to get him to check on Landon.
 

He strokes my cheek. “Don’t worry, baby. He’s not dead. Not yet. The drugs just knocked him out.”
 

Ethan puts the gun on the nightstand and then walks over to where Landon lies on the ground. He kicks him hard in the side, and I watch as Landon’s body jerks from the force of his kick. But Landon doesn’t wake. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t fight back. The drugs have taken full effect.
 

I watch without being able to do a thing as Ethan walks out of the room and then comes back minutes later with more rope and duct tape.
 

Ethan lifts Landon’s body and drops him in a chair. Landon’s head flops side to side when he lands in the chair. Ethan stands in front of his body to keep him from sliding down.
 

“You know if it wasn’t for this motherfucker, things might have turned out differently. You might both get to live.”
 

I groan.
 

“You want to know why? Why things would have turned out differently?”
 

I groan again. I don’t give a shit about hearing Ethan’s side of the story. He’s a fucking monster that deserves to die, but I don’t get to tell him that. Instead, I watch as he begins to tie Landon’s arms to the chair. Wrapping the rope so tightly around his arms, he makes sure there will be no hope for escape.
 

“I guess it’s not Landon’s fault. There have been so many times. Instances that could have caused your life to end sooner. I would have killed you the next morning after the rape. That was my plan, but when you saw me and didn’t remember, I knew I could have you again. I knew I didn’t have to kill you.”
 

He begins tying Landon’s other arm with the efficiency of someone who has done this countless times. I look around the room at the pictures of all the women I could never save.
 

“But then you had to do something stupid. You started remembering. You had to investigate. You found out, and I had to kill you, but it was too late for me to do it myself. We were getting married. I had to hire someone.”
 

He moves to Landon’s legs as he keeps speaking as if he is trying to justify each of his actions.
 

“I had to hire Alfie King’s men to kill you. I promised him I’d help him escape from jail if he did. I have cops, and I have dirt on all of them. They would do whatever I say, but King’s men fucked up. They didn’t kill you like they were supposed to. So I made sure King is going to spend the rest of his life in jail.”
 

He moves to his second leg. “I took some time on my own. To figure out what I wanted. Mother called me daily. She begged me to give up my obsession with killing and raping. She begged me to give up you.”
 

He stands and unrolls the duct tape and rips some off before placing it over Landon’s mouth.
 

“I couldn’t, though. I couldn’t give any of it up. I had to come back. I thought you could be my redemption. I thought you could save me from the monster inside me. We could live our lives like normal people. All I had to do was destroy the evidence that you had hidden. But I couldn’t find it. So I had to kill you.”
 

I watch him walk to me, his eyes lusting over my bleeding cuts all over my body. “Except I couldn’t. Even then, I still thought you could save me. I thought if I just found a way to make you love me again. If we could have a child, then we could start over together. Find a way to move past our pasts.”
 

He walks back to Landon. “But then this motherfucker came into your life and stole you from me. You were mine! He had no right.”
 

I watch as he punches Landon in the jaw, and again, Landon doesn’t awaken. It makes me fear that maybe he isn’t really breathing. That he might already be dead. I study his body, though, and watch his chest rise and fall just slightly. He’s still breathing.

“And then, to top it all off, you started remembering again.”

He runs his hand through his hair. “I thought you could save me. I thought you could destroy the demons that lurked underneath my skin. You can’t, though. You’re just like the rest of them. I should have killed you that first morning.”
 

He walks to the door and pauses there. “Maybe you can still save me. If you can last long enough. If you can make all the demons go away, then maybe you will be my last. The last one I kill.” He smiles. “Or maybe not.” I watch as his eyes drift to Landon indicating he will be the last one he kills. “Don’t worry. It will take me a long time to get rid of my demons. I promised Mother you would be the last. The last one and so you shall. So I will have to savor every second of it and draw it out as long as you can last.”
 

He glances over at Landon. “I’ll be back. When he wakes up and can enjoy the fun.”
 

Daughter, I’m not proud of who I was.
 

I’ve been a monster more days than one.
 

I don’t deserve your love.
 

I hear Ethan talking. I hear Alex groaning, but I can’t move. I’m frozen. I can’t even open my eyes to see what’s happening.