Aligned: Volume 3 (4 page)

“Yes, there were three men.”
 

“Can you describe them to a sketch artist?”
 

“Yes, but they did wear hoods. I could describe body types.”
 

“That will have to do. We will have a sketch artist come by this afternoon.”
 

“What did they want from you?” Officer Burner asks.
 

I frown before clearing my throat. “Revenge. They wanted revenge. And money.”
 

“One last question. Do you know who did this to you?” Officer Nibbs says.
 

I let my lips curl into a smile. “Yes.”
 

Officer Nibbs returns my smile. “Who do you believe did this to you?”
 

“Alfie King. He ended up in jail because I lost his case. Or at least that’s what he thinks. He wanted revenge. His men did this.”
 

“Thank you for your time. I think we have everything we need to start our investigation. If you think of anything else, here is my card,” Officer Burner says, handing me his card before heading out the door. Officer Nibbs follows but stops short of the exit. “Don’t worry. We will get King.” He winks at me before leaving. I smile. I do believe he will get King.

I don’t know who did this to me or why, but the evidence is wrong.
 

“Morning, beautiful,” Ethan says sitting up in his hospital bed. I cringe at the words that remind me of Landon, not Ethan. The morning light is shining in brightly despite the thin blinds trying to keep it out. It’s not a beautiful morning, though. It’s day one without Landon. Day one living with a shattered heart and it’s only been an hour since I said good-bye to Landon. I haven’t let the pain consume me yet, but I know it’s coming. It’s only a matter of time, but I won’t let Ethan know. He can never know.
 

I get up from my chair and fully open the blinds to let in more of the light. I need all the help I can get to keep from losing it today. I need to find hope for a future with Ethan. I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed next to Ethan.
 

“Morning,” I say, trying to smile as brightly as I can, but I’m afraid it comes across as weak.
 

Ethan frowns at my fake smile. His eyes study every inch of my face before he speaks. “You don’t have to always be strong.”
 

“Yes, I do,” I say staring at his dark brown eyes.
 

“No, you don’t,” he says tucking my hair behind my ears. “Come here.” He holds his arms out to me, and I fall into his embrace. He moans when I hit his bruised ribs.
 

“I’m sorry,” I say trying to climb off his body, but his arms hold me in place.
 

“Don’t ... I need you right here. It’s the only way I’ll heal,” Ethan says, his voice strong, reassuring. As I lay on his chest, I hear his heart beating fast and uneven in his chest. I look over his broken body. He is the one trying to be strong when he shouldn’t. He has no reason to be. He was the one tortured for months. He was the one who didn’t know if he would live or die. He was the one who actually suffered from the loss of me. He needs me to be strong right now. Not a broken mess upset that she had to break up with her boyfriend of a couple of weeks. Poor, pitiful me. While Ethan has dealt with real pain, I’ve been crying over spilled milk.
 

Ethan squeezes me tighter. “I can’t believe you’re mine. I can’t believe I ever thought I lost you. How stupid am I to think I could keep breathing if you weren’t still alive somewhere holding out hope that we would be together again? I love you so much, Alexa.”
 

Tears fall then. Slow at first, barely visible as they roll down my cheek onto Ethan’s chest. Then suddenly they flow all at once, like a faucet down my face.
 

“Shh, baby, it’s okay. Everything is okay now. Just let it all out,” Ethan says as he tries his best to rock me like a baby in his lap. The tears keep falling. I don’t even know why the tears are falling.
 

Are they falling for Ethan? For everything he has lost.
 

Are they falling for Landon? For everything he has lost.
 

Or are they falling for me? For everything I have lost. I don’t know, and I’m not sure I care. I just let them fall.
 

They fall until a knock at the door breaks me out of my sadness.
 

“Hi, Ethan, I’m Mark Lewis with physical therapy,” the man in khakis and a red polo says as he enters Ethan’s hospital room.
 

Ethan glares at the man entering. Probably for interrupting my blubbering and crying on his shoulder. But I can’t stay here any longer. Ethan needs his therapy, but I can’t stay. It brings back too many painful memories of lying in a hospital room alone for months. My daily therapy visits from Calvin the only thing bringing me any hope of getting out. I can’t think about Calvin or the pain. I can’t think about any of it. I just need to get out of here.
 

“I have a few errands I need to run. I’ll leave you and Mark to your therapy,” I say, kissing Ethan softly on the cheek. I can’t bring myself to kiss him on the lips again. Despite breaking up with Landon, it still feels like a betrayal to our relationship.
God, I’m a mess!
I care about betraying Landon’s and my relationship, but did I care when I was betraying my relationship with Ethan?
 

“Okay, but take James Proc with you,” Ethan says.
 

“Who is James Proc?” I ask, confused that there might be more people I don’t remember from my past.
 

“He’s one of the new bodyguards Mother and I hired to keep us safe until they catch the guys that did this to us,” Ethan says.
 

I pause staring into space trying to register his words. I never really thought we weren’t safe. I guess I just assumed the police would easily be able to catch them or they would be long gone to Mexico or some other far-off place. I never imagined there was a possibility of them still being here in NYC.
 

“Are we not safe?” I ask looking back at Ethan.
 

“It’s just a precaution. You are completely safe. I would never let anyone hurt you, ever,” Ethan says, his eyes hardening as he says it as if he’s imagining the pain he would inflict on someone if they ever laid a finger on me. Except he has let someone hurt me before.
That’s not fair
, I immediately think as I shake my head. Ethan had no way of knowing that losing King’s trial would cause him to come after us. He did try to save him, whether he was guilty or innocent, and King got a fair trial. It wasn’t Ethan’s fault.
 

“Okay, I’ll take James,” I say, trying my best to smile and feel brave. Although where I’m going, I’d prefer to go alone.
 

***

“Where to, ma’am?” James asks from the front seat of the limo he is driving. He’s nicely dressed in a perfectly fitted suit to his large six-foot-six frame that is all muscle. The only thing that seems out of place is his long blond hair pulled back into a bun on top of his head.
 

“Just call me Alexa and the cemetery please,” I say. I don’t have to say which one. He already knows.
 

“Yes, ma’am. I mean Alexa,” James says. He takes a hard left turning us in the direction of the cemetery. I watch as the tall buildings go by that will eventually turn to countryside as we get closer to the cemetery. I hate the helpless feeling I get when someone is driving me around. I want to have as much control over my life as possible, especially since my life so far has been completely out of my control.
 

“So can I ask why we are going to the cemetery?” James asks.
 

“I just left something there I need to get back,” I say.
 

“What?” James asks.
 

I can’t help it; I giggle just a little at James’s blatant curiosity. James is a little older than I am by probably four to five years, closer to Ethan’s age than mine. I never expected him, though, to want to carry on a conversation with me. I expected him to keep things professional, all business.
 

When I don’t answer, he asks, “You don’t remember me. Do you?”
 

I shake my head. “I didn’t know I was supposed to remember you. Did we have a security team before?”
 

“No. We were friends. I went to high school and college with Ethan. I was Ethan’s best man at your wedding. We used to be good friends, you and I. We would tease Ethan about his perfect hair and goody-two-shoes relationship with his mother,” James says.
 

“Why didn’t you come visit me in the hospital after the accident?” I ask, angry that I had a friend, someone who could have helped me heal, but he wasn’t there for me.
 

“I tried, but Laura wouldn’t let me. She wouldn’t allow you any visitors. One day, I came to the hospital to at least give you flowers, to let you know I was thinking about you. They told me you’d been transferred to a different hospital. I had no idea where.”

“You never tried to look for me?” I ask, practically screaming with anger.
 

“Of course, I did, Alexa. I looked for you every day. I finally found you when I was invited to the charity event in Ethan’s honor. An oversight by Laura, I’m sure, but I realized then that you had no idea who I was. You were too hung up on that guy to notice anyone else anyway.”
 

“I was not hung up on any guy. He was just a client I photographed.”
 

“Yeah, sure.” James sighs quietly. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell Ethan but just stay away from that guy. Ethan deserves someone who loves him like you used to.”
 

“I know he does. I just don’t know how to love someone who I don’t remember.” I look quickly up at James meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror, before glancing back out the window. I’m embarrassed that he saw me with Landon.
 

“You’ll remember. Don’t worry.”
 

“Are there any other friends from my past that I should know about?”
 

“No. You didn’t really have friends. Your maid of honor was one of Ethan’s annoying cousins. The only people you guys hung out with other than me were at Laura’s charity events.”
 

I sigh. I have no one else to talk to about my past. All I have are Ethan and James. And somehow, I think their memories of my past are going to be skewed.
 

James stops the limo in front of Ethan’s gravestone. He guessed where I wanted to go. Although I guess it really isn’t that surprising.
 

“I’ll wait here,” he says.
 

“Thanks,” I say as I begin to climb out of the limo. Before I shut the door, I stop and poke my head back into the limo. “James, I’m sorry I don’t remember you. Thanks for being a good friend to Ethan and me. I’ll try my best to remember you too.”
 

He smiles. “I don’t care if you remember me. I’m too lovable for us not to rekindle our friendship. Just do what you need to do to love Ethan.”
 

I nod as I move back out of the limo and close the door. I walk down to Ethan’s grave and kneel in front of it just as I had done a few days earlier.
 

I don’t know what to do or say, so I just sit in silence and let the warm sun fill me. Letting it do its best to give me hope and love.
 

“Hello, Ethan,” I finally say although I know full well that Ethan’s body doesn’t lie under this stone. I think it’s best to tell this to this Ethan instead of the one lying back in the hospital bed.

“I’m hurting a lot, Ethan. This pain in my chest has gotten worse since you came back instead of better. I’m scared. I’m scared that I will never love you the way I used to. I’m scared that I will never be able to fully let Landon go. I’m scared for our lives.” I place my hand on the headstone. “I have questions. So many questions. How did we fall in love? What was our wedding like? Why did the accident happen? How did you manage to escape? What am I supposed to do now?”
 

I dig my fingers in the soft dirt shifting it around. It takes a while to find them. Maybe I don’t really want to find them. But eventually, I do. I grasp the hard metal and pull them from the ground. My rings are right where I left them two days ago. I dust the dirt off the two rings. I take out the green silk fabric from my pocket and consider wrapping them back in the cloth to stick in my pocket. That’s where they feel right. But I can’t live for myself anymore.
 

I am going to find a way to love Ethan again and give him the life he deserves. So instead, I slip the rings onto my left ring finger. They fit perfectly, but the large engagement diamond looks out of place on my finger. I will get used to it, though. I will love Ethan again. I take the torn green fabric and put it back in the hole the rings were just in. I bury it, along with any memories since the accident. I will forget everything and start my new life with Ethan.
 

As I watch you, my heart bleeds
 

At the sight of you kissing him.
 

You were my love I know that now

But it’s too late, you’re his now.
 

I’ve lost my love.
 

A knock pounds on the door, waking me from my drunken stupor. My head is pounding, my eyes are dry from lack of sleep, and my stomach rumbles ready to spill its contents if I move from the bed. So I don’t move. I let the pounding continue. I know who it is, anyway, and I’m not answering the door. I’m never answering a door again. Not after the pain it caused me after Alex opened the door the last time.
 

The pounding stops.
Thank fucking God.
I begin to drift back to sleep quickly as the alcohol takes its hold on me again. A few seconds later, I hear the door rattling as a card key is inserted into the door. He won’t get too far, though, because the chain is still in place over the door keeping any intruders out.