Authors: Gini Koch
As White stood Mrs. Maurer up, the sky darkened. Not a lot, but as if there were cloud cover. In Arizona, where I’d grown up, or New Mexico, where I’d lived once I’d met Jeff and the rest of the gang, cloud cover in July and August indicated a potential monsoon. We hadn’t lived in D.C. long enough for my natural weather instincts to alter. I looked up, to see whether we had heat, a passing overcast, or storm clouds overhead.
Only, there were no clouds in the sky at all.
There was what looked like a sort of film, like a tint you’d put on your windows to limit the amount of sunlight coming through. The film went as far as I could see.
My gut, always on duty in danger situations, mentioned that this didn’t look natural. Or good.
“Ah, Richard?” Pointed up.
“What? Oh. Oh dear.”
“What is that?” Mrs. Maurer asked. “It doesn’t look . . . right.”
“To me, either, Squeaky. And I just want to be on record that I have a very bad feeling about this.”
O
F COURSE,
I was correct. I’d have been proud of my ability to never be wrong about horrible crap happening, but I’d have given a lot to be able to say I was merely a Nervous Nellie.
The film or whatever it was got closer, as if it was contracting, and doing so at a very fast rate of speed. I was pretty damned sure that it
was
contracting.
In less than a minute, I felt rather than saw something go through me. Saw it go through everything else. Which was nice, since I hadn’t had anything freaky happen to me for at least thirty seconds and I was feeling the withdrawal symptoms.
The film going through me felt like I’d heard people describe a ghost walking through them—like something cool and clammy had passed through my body. I was good with never feeling this again.
“What just happened?” Mrs. Maurer asked weakly. “That was rather . . . awful.”
“ACE is not . . . alone in the universe, is he?” White asked, voice carefully guarded.
“No. Oh, wow, you think?” There were other superconsciousnesses out there. Some had been put in place in the same way ACE had been—by Alpha Four or another planet with some really bossy, controlling beings in charge who wanted to keep other beings firmly on their own planets. Some were different in their reasons for being. But those other superconsciousnesses were the ones who had held ACE captive, for want of a better word, before Naomi had somehow freed him.
I had no idea what ACE’s release status was—we didn’t talk about it, the few times we’d talked over the past year. But if it worked even remotely like our prisoner releases did, then ACE would have some kind of superconsciousness parole officer.
My hopes that said officer had come by, taken a look, and left were quickly dashed. The fountain started bubbling oddly. We all watched as the water coalesced and formed into the figure of a humanoid. Since it was literally made of water, it was hard to guess if it was supposed to be male or female, but a lack of curves indicated male.
The Water Man turned toward us. “We wish to speak to the leader.” Its voice was bubbly with a weird echo, like a lot of water going down a drain quickly. It wasn’t the worst sound in the world, probably no worse than Mrs. Maurer’s voice. But I wasn’t a fan.
“Awesome. I can call my mom and see if she can arrange a meet and greet, but before we take you to visit the most powerful man in our country, who the hell are you, why the hell are you here, and what do you expect to gain from coming here in this way?”
The Water Man stared at me. At least, I thought he was staring. He was literally made of water, features and all, so it was hard to be sure. It was easy to see through him—it was like looking at a person-sized aquarium with really clean glass—but not to see “him,” so to speak. Wondered if I put my hand into him if it would go through easily, come out wet, or something else. Was so glad my mind had added these thoughts into an already overcrowded mix.
“The leader is here.”
“Yes, yes, the President’s in D.C. But, impressive water show or not, he’s not hanging about waiting for weirdoes from outer space to drop by to shoot the crap or make bizarre demands. He’s actually, you know, running the country.”
“We are here to speak to the leader.”
“Yes, leader, got it. Why you chose to do your big manifestation right here, in front of the four of us only, is beyond me, but whatever makes you happy. Or watery. Or whatever.”
Water Man turned to White. “We came directly to the leader.”
“Richard, do they think you’re still the Supreme Pontifex?”
“I don’t know that they’d know me,” White said slowly. “If that were the case, my thought would be that they would want to see Paul, versus the President, but I could be wrong.”
Mrs. Maurer spoke before I could reply. “Excuse me, but do you feel that the leader is one of us who are right here with you?”
“Yes.” Water Man sounded relieved.
“I see.” She cleared her throat and pointed to Prince. “Is this who you think the leader is?”
“No.” Water Man now sounded like he now thought we were all idiots.
“Good,” Mrs. Maurer said. “I just wanted to be sure.” She put her hand on my lower back and nudged me forward. “Our leader is very modest.”
“Huh?”
Water Man stepped toward me. “You are identified as the leader.”
“By whom? And is that person in their right mind? Or do you now just think that I’m the leader because Squeaky here pushed me forward?” Maybe this thing expected us to pick a leader and I’d just been volunteered. Stranger things had happened—like my entire career with Centaurion Division.
Water Man stared at me. I was starting to be able to see facial features. Meaning I was pretty sure its eyes were narrowed. “Willful stupidity will not help your case.”
“It’s never hurt it before.”
“You will not speak to us in this way. We
will
speak to the leader.”
“Excuse the hell out of me? I don’t know who or what you and the rest of your collective are, or where the hell you came from, but you’re not exactly being clear with what you want, and who you want to speak to, not to mention why you’re here.”
Water Man raised his hand up. Had a feeling it was to slam said hand right down on my head. Had to figure this wouldn’t be good. Decided not to find out. Slammed through the Water Man. Felt like a lot of water—like all the water in the fountain, and then some, was all concentrated into this one figure. Again, I wasn’t a fan. On the plus side, I wasn’t wet when I got out the other side. Damp, but not wet.
The Water Man reformed and came at me. “Violence is not the answer.”
So saying, it swung at and hit me. Felt as bad as I’d expected it to, but I shoved through the fist and it wasn’t quite like a giant wave crashing on me. Close, but more like having a Gatorade bucket dumped over me as opposed to a tsunami. Had the feeling the Water Man hadn’t been trying all that hard.
“So why are you using it, then?” Spun around and got into a crouch. Fighting in the Armani Fatigues wasn’t all that easy, but I’d worry about that later. Right now, I had a water thing to try to take down.
The Water Man imitated my stance. We lunged at each other. Again, going through him felt odd but I wasn’t hurt or wet, just a bit damper than before.
We both landed, spun, and did this a couple more times. I was about to ask if this was some bizarre meet and greet or mating ritual from the Water Man’s part of the cosmos, but before I could, and before either Water Man or I did anything else, Jamie was there, standing in between us, her hands palms out toward my assailant.
“Get away from my mommy, you mean thing!”
T
HE WATER MAN EXPLODED,
as if he’d been a water balloon.
Picked Jamie up and gave her a big hug. Didn’t ask how she’d gotten here—she’d proven at four months that she was able to time warp herself anywhere.
She’d been kept from time warping by ACE when she was a baby, and by the Poofs and Peregrines during Operation Infiltration, always for her own safety. Clearly, either she’d overcome their abilities, or ACE, the Poofs, and Peregrines approved of Jamie’s coming to me right now.
As all of the Peregrines and what really looked like all of the Poofs appeared, figured I’d bet on the latter. “Jamie-Kat, thank you, but why are you here?”
“That bad thing is here to take Fairy Godfather ACE away from us.” She sounded angry and distressed.
“Are you sure it’s bad?” Just because it had attacked me, that didn’t necessarily mean it was evil. Could just mean we hadn’t hit it off properly. Certainly wouldn’t be the first time.
She looked uncertain and twitched. “Kitty, ACE must clarify for Jamie.” It was unsettling hearing the halting, just slightly uncertain way Jamie spoke when ACE had control of their shared consciousness. It had been weird when it had been via Gower, but he was a grown man. With Jamie it was almost frightening. “The being Jamie dissipated is not gone.”
True enough. As ACE spoke Mrs. Maurer pointed to the fountain. The water sloshed back into the fountain, coalesced again, and started to re-form.
“Lucky us. What is it and why is it here?”
“It is the one sent to check on ACE. And it wishes to speak to ACE’s leader.”
“Why is it yapping with us, then?” Perhaps Mrs. Maurer was wrong. Of course, the Water Man had said I was the leader, but perhaps it had been reacting to her assumption.
“ACE’s leader is Kitty,” ACE confirmed helpfully.
“Oh.” Shot a glance at Mrs. Maurer. She had a “told you so” expression going. White didn’t look surprised, but that might have been because he was busy texting at hyperspeed. “Fantastic. So, what do I need to tell your parole officer in order to get him, her, it, or they to go away and leave us alone?”
The Water Man was fully formed and sloshed over to us. “We are here to observe and report.”
“Super. And attack.”
“You attacked us first.”
“Best defense is a good offence.”
“We do not understand you.”
“So very few ever do, Sloshy. So few ever do.”
“We are not named Sloshy.” The Water Man didn’t sound amused. Whatever.
“You are until you share your real name with us. Why are you made of water?”
“You are made of water.”
“No. We’re mostly water, but we’re all fond of things like skin and bones and fur and hair and such. If you’re trying to imitate us, you’re doing a terrible job.”
“No, we are trying to emulate the most prevalent thing on this planet.”
“Water isn’t sentient,” Mrs. Maurer said.
“Everything has sentience,” the Water Man replied.
“Ah, metaphysics. Not my specialty and college gets farther and farther away every year, don’t you find? Let’s just agree that there’s sentience and then there’s sentience.”
“Yes, all things have sentience.”
“Speaking of being willfully dense. Let’s put this another way. Humans are the dominant life forms on this planet. And you know it, or you wouldn’t have formed to look sort of like one of us. So stop playing whatever game it is you think you’re playing or, better yet, go home.”
The Water Man stepped closer. “Stay away from my mommy or I’ll do it again,” Jamie said, in her own voice. “Only more.”
“I have a little girl and I’m not afraid to use her.” Had a thought. Something had indeed been trying to herd us to Dulce. “Jamie, did Fairy Godfather ACE want us all at the Science Center because it would be safer?”
“I think so, Mommy.”
“Right. Oh well, good effort, I suppose. At least there were only the few of us around to witness the arrival of Sloshy, here.” Few if I didn’t count the Poofs and Peregrines, that was.
“We are
not
named Sloshy.” Water Man sounded offended by this nickname. Good to know my track record in this regard remained unsullied. Wondered if they knew Lilith Fair, or what was left of her, from Operation Invasion and decided that of course they did, and they were probably on her side. “We are a supreme consciousness from what you call the Eagle Nebula.”
“Blah, blah, blah, Sloshy. And I’m the Head Diplomat for American Centaurion, but you don’t hear me bragging about that to everyone I meet.”
“We are here to ensure that the one you named ACE is not acting against our laws.”
“And what if he is? ACE belongs Earth and Earth belongs to ACE. You and the rest of the interfering busybodies out there don’t factor into that equation.”
“So we have been told. However, the fact remains that our laws supersede yours.”
“It so figures. Might likes to triumph over right all over the universe, I see.”
Didn’t ask who’d told them about our relationship with ACE, mostly because I could guess and that guess was Naomi. Didn’t want to bring Naomi up, especially not around Jamie. She, like the rest of us, still missed her A-C godmother terribly and asked when she was coming back all the time.
Had to figure this was bad for all of us in a lot of ways. One of those ways wasn’t obvious to most, but the likelihood was that this superconsciousness doing an unplanned home inspection would make Earth stand out on the greater Universal Plain. And that meant it was now more likely that the Black Hole People who were hunting Algar would notice Earth.
I wasn’t sure of a lot of things, but I was certain that Earth couldn’t afford to lose either ACE or Algar, let alone both of them. And I was equally certain that in any intergalactic and inter-universal fight that seemed likely to be looming, Earth was in the Biggest Loser role, aka the Battleground. Always the way.
“So, just what laws of yours has ACE supposedly broken?”
“Interference.”
Interesting. Algar was on the run because he
hadn’t
interfered—he’d allowed Free Will to such an extent that an entire solar system and all its billions of inhabitants had been destroyed, the effects of which had hit both the Alpha Centauri and Earth systems. It was, in reality, ultimately why our A-Cs were here on Earth.
But apparently the Superconsciousnesses Collective didn’t want their kind to interfere. This was a confirmation of what ACE had felt and Algar had told me. But it was indeed bad for us and for ACE because ACE had interfered a lot. It was why we were all still alive, and by all I meant every living thing on the planet.
“So, you don’t feel that the protection of all life on this planet was a correct thing to do?”
The Water Man shrugged. Not the worst sight in the world, but unsettling. Sloshy was really an apt name for him. “That is not what ACE was created for.”
“You didn’t create him. The people who did create him did so to make him a living alarm system—to watch and to harm. He chose to change what his purpose was to something better. Why is that wrong to you so-called supercreatures?”
“We are too powerful to interfere.”
“Ah, the old ‘you’ll call us God’ argument. Here’s the thing—ACE has told those of us who know what he is that he’s not God. We believe him. End of problem. Have a great trip home. Don’t miss swinging by the Alpha Centauri system and telling them what to do, either. I’m sure they’ll love meeting you as much as I have.”
“We are not leaving at this time. We have agreed to observe ACE and how ACE interacts with all of you. If we deem that ACE is remaining within our laws, we will allow ACE to remain. If we find otherwise, we will remove ACE from Earth. Forever.”
Handed Jamie to Mrs. Maurer, then stepped up to the Water Man and got right in his face. “You’ll take ACE from us and against his will over my dead body, Sloshy.”
“That can be arranged.”
“Yeah? Then you’ll be interfering. I guarantee I have someone out there who will be more than capable of pointing that out to your damned Supreme Council or whatever you call yourselves. You want to play hardball? I’m more than game and have only this to say—bring it.”
Water Man stared at me for a few long seconds. Then he nodded his head. The water sloshed. It remained unsettling.
“Your challenge is accepted.”
Whoops.