Authors: Tracy St. John
Chase said, “We will handle the more difficult decisions for you from now on. You will remain in command to ease those with more nervous minds.”
Joseph snapped, “And if I refuse to be your figurehead?”
Robards’ strained smile returned. “You don’t want to do that, Captain. Even better to the Holy Leader’s cause is a martyr who fell while fighting the Kalquorians. You’ll die a hero, but you will die.”
He stepped around the desk. When Robards grabbed the blaster from Joseph’s holster, the captain made no move to stop him. The tactical officer tucked the weapon into his belt. He stepped away, leaving Joseph unarmed.
The captain knew then that he was no more than a coward. Joseph had abdicated all responsibility for the lives in his care because he was afraid to spill the blood of men standing in front of him. He was worse than a killer because he would stand aside and allow his officers to murder innocents.
Even the small good he might have done by taking his own life had been erased. Chase and Robards would see to it that the crew would be led into destruction even as they shouted their captain’s name, trying to avenge him against the Kalquorians. In his weakness, he had given them all the power.
Joseph’s lips felt numb as he spoke. “Well, you’ve made your position clear. I guess we’d all better get back to work on the immediate problem.”
“Please do carry on. I’ll stay here with you while Mr. Robards continues his project. Just to make sure you have my help if needed.” Chase nodded, his expression that of an approving father. It made Joseph nauseous.
Robards nodded, snapping a salute to the two of them. “Captain. Commander.” He turned and left the room.
Chase remained in place, his smile plastered onto his ugly face. After a few moments, Joseph went to his chair and sat down, pointedly ignoring his first officer. He went back to work on his computer, resuming the torturous business of regaining helm and navigation control.
Light tapping on the chief engineer’s office door roused Elisa from the fitful sleep she’d fallen into. She’d drifted off lying with Miragin on the carpeted floor. The Imdiko stretched and then rose to answer the summons. Elisa sat up as the door opened to reveal Zemos standing there.
Miragin beamed at his clan leader. “Hello, my Dramok. You caught us napping.”
Zemos looked past him to smile at Elisa. She found herself smiling back at that handsome face. She blinked past the exhaustion and remembered she shouldn’t do anything to encourage the Dramok.
What was a smile compared to the tempestuous sex she’d had with Miragin, however? Damn it, she could still smell the Imdiko’s musk on herself, a scent that made her insides warm again.
Zemos clapped a hand on Miragin’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’m glad you’re getting some rest while it’s possible. I wondered, my Imdiko, if you would give our Nobek your company while I visit with our lovely Earther friend here?”
Miragin raised an eyebrow. He looked at Zemos questioningly even as he said in an agreeable tone, “If Oret would like my presence, I would be glad to share it.”
“He is having some concerns of a personal nature.” Then Zemos said something in his rough language.
The Imdiko’s eyes widened and then he bit his lips together in an obvious effort to hold back a smirk. Elisa saw he had little success in that endeavor, though he did manage to get control over his amusement after a few seconds. “I see. Yes, I’d be more than happy to offer my support.”
Zemos gave him a pointed look. “If he asks for it.”
“Understood. Have fun, you two.”
Giving Elisa a bright grin, Miragin left the room. As Zemos approached her, Elisa stood and fussed with her wrinkled clothing. No doubt the Dramok knew what she’d done with his clanmate earlier. Even to her not-as-sensitive nose, the room reeked of sex. The slight swelling of Zemos’ formsuited groin confirmed her concerns.
Rather than descending on her with lust, Zemos stopped an arm’s length away and appraised her with worry furrowing his brow. “You must be uncomfortable, as well as hungry.”
Elisa couldn’t help but feel good that he asked after her welfare. “Actually, we found a candy bar in the desk. It was old and not terribly good, but it helped. Miragin insisted I eat the whole thing though I tried to share it with him.”
“Kalquorians can get along without food for quite some time. Miragin will be fine. You, on the other hand, are already underweight.”
Zemos sat down on the edge of the cluttered desk, displacing several items that thudded to the carpeted floor. He paid the fallen items no mind. He indicated Elisa should sit in the chair before him. She did so, her ankles crossed primly and hands folded in her lap.
Elisa didn’t know what to expect from the Kalquorian looming over her. His words took her by surprise. “Tell me about your singing. I know you were disgraced when you were younger and you worked to put your siblings through advanced schooling. Still, I can’t quite comprehend how someone with your voice ended up serving food on a warship.”
She took a few moments to wrap her head around the unexpected subject and another few seconds to compose her answer. “Making a living as a singer on Earth was a very hard thing to do. Only a few managed it, often because they had more luck than real talent. I was nobody from a small town. It seemed ridiculous to spend money on music school. If my path went the way of most singers, I would end up waiting tables to earn a living anyway.”
Zemos folded his arms over his chest. “Were you able to get any formal training at all?”
Elisa nodded. “A little when I was young. A music teacher in school took me under her wing and gave me private lessons.”
“In songwriting too? I would like to hear the rest of the song you sang the other day.”
Elisa laughed self-consciously and ducked her head. She was aware of how hot her face became, telling her she had turned as red as a lobster in her embarrassment. “I can’t believe I chose to sing that one for you. The lyrics are actually quite awful, beyond juvenile.”
Zemos grinned at her. “It can’t be that bad.”
Elisa kept laughing at herself, making his answering smile broaden. “I wrote it when I was twelve years old for a youth minister I had a horrible crush on. Singing of such things could have been taken the wrong way, like I wanted to sin with him. To keep from getting myself into trouble, I turned it into a religious song. I pretended it was about my love for God.”
She rolled her eyes at herself. Why had she let Zemos and his clan hear her childish efforts? “I don’t know whether to laugh or be mortified that I let you hear any of that,” she groaned.
“The passions of youth know nothing of adult humiliation,” Zemos said, chuckling with her. “How long were you able to continue with lessons?”
“Not for long. When I was fifteen, the music teacher who’d been so kind scraped together enough money to send me to music camp. She really believed in me.”
“It’s always good when someone like that comes along. How was the experience?”
“It started off well.” Elisa swallowed the painful lump that rose in her throat. “I met another singer there. A boy a year older than me named Audie.”
Zemos must have picked up on the hurt that came with the memories. His tone was careful when he prodded her. “He must have been the one you were caught kissing. What happened with your young man? How did that situation come about?”
“It shouldn’t have, in all honesty. Boys and girls were kept separate for the most part. The only time we got to be in the same room was for choir practice. We were at a dangerous age, when hormones tended to make us less cautious.”
She halted again. Elisa wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell anyone of that time. Music camp had started off with a dream coming true, only to see everything she’d ever hoped for fall away. She didn’t want to face the memories.
Zemos smiled with understanding. “As old as I am, I remember those years myself. It’s hard to think past the libido when it continually makes itself known, even in the most public of circumstances.”
Elisa nodded. “I was so innocent. Audie stood behind me when we sang. I thought about how nice it would feel if his hand brushed my shoulder or hair. I thought about taking walks with him while holding his hand. I thought about him kissing me. Nothing more. I thought it was the height of romance.”
“How much of that did you get to enjoy?”
“One day he passed me a note as he went to his spot in the choir. I felt this tiny folded square of paper pressed into my hand. Such things were frowned upon, so he must have really wanted to talk to me to have made the effort. The paper was damp, as if his hand had been sweating while he held it.”
“What did it say?”
Elisa ducked her head, feeling again the sweetness of youthful infatuation. “He said he thought I was pretty and that I had the voice of an angel. He said he was in love. After that, we passed notes to each other every day. Then one day he asked me to sneak out of my dorm after lights out to meet him in the choir room.”
Zemos smiled softly, as if perhaps remembering his own childhood loves. “And you did?”
“Absolutely. It really was innocent. We held hands and talked for hours. About singing, about where we lived, our families, school ... everything we could think of. When we said goodnight and started back to our dorms, he kissed me on the cheek. It was as wonderful as I’d thought it would be.”
Elisa fell silent again, thinking about Audie Montgomery with his curling blond hair, long-lashed blue eyes, and shy smile. He’d been pretty for a boy, with delicate cheekbones and an innocence that hinted nothing of encroaching manhood. They’d been such children in every way at the beginning of that fateful summer.
Zemos’ deep voice brought her back to the present. “I think I can see the fresh, guileless girl you were then, the one who thought love was all about holding hands and soft pecks on the cheek.”
Elisa looked up at the Dramok, jarred for an instant after remembering Audie. Here instead of a young boy was an older man, with gray dusting his black hair, wide shoulders of maturity, and hard-won experience in the fine lines of his face. Yet in Zemos’ purple alien eyes was the same warm dawning of discovery that she’d seen in Audie’s gaze so long ago.
The only thing left to tell was how it had ended. Elisa rushed through the rest of the story. “We met again three more times. By the time we were caught by the camp counselors, we’d moved on to really kissing, right on the lips. But that’s all we ever did.”
“Exactly how much trouble did you get into?”
The lump of hurt was back in her throat. Her voice barely a whisper as it fought past that knot, Elisa said, “I was sent home in disgrace. They publicly whipped me in the town square, and I was sentenced to six months of community service. I don’t know what happened to Audie. I never heard from him after that.”
Zemos let several seconds pass before asking his next question. “And your music?”
Elisa sighed. “I wasn’t allowed to sing in school or church after that. I received no more lessons. My music teacher didn’t speak to me ever again, though I would see her in the halls at school. Sometimes she’d look at me, and she seemed so sad. Back then I believed I’d disappointed her, but now I think she felt sorry for me.”
They sat in silence for a little while, wrapped in their thoughts. When Zemos held his arms out to Elisa, she didn’t hesitate. She stood and moved into his embrace, allowing him to pick her up and cuddle her on his lap. She dove into the warmth of his body, pillowing her cheek on his shoulder. He rocked back and forth.
Elisa felt that sense of security once more as she had with Miragin. Though she knew better, it seemed as if the shelter of Zemos’ body would keep her safe through anything. No one could touch her as long as he was there to keep life’s storms at bay.
Little by little, the spell of gloom passed. After a few minutes, Elisa looked up to gaze into Zemos’ face.
“Tell me about your music,” she invited.
He quirked a smile. “I play an instrument called a
nilnam
. It has twenty strings you pluck and strum over a round, hollow drum.”
“Are you good?”
“Having played for over a hundred years, I’ve achieved some small mastery,” Zemos said, his grin getting larger.
Elisa laughed. “One would hope! I didn’t know if you were serious about it or it was simply for your own pleasure.”
“I was invited to join several orchestral groups, but the life of a musician was too sedate for me. I play small concerts on board my ship with other musical members of my crew.” He brushed a lock of hair from Elisa’s forehead. “I would like to play some day and hear you sing with my accompaniment.”
Elisa thought about it, singing for others with Zemos at her side. She knew for that to happen, she would have to remain with his clan. She would have to join his clan.
Zemos’ voice was soft. “Is it so terrible to contemplate? Staying with us?”
She looked up at him, taking in the details of his face, which somehow managed to be wild at times and civilized at others. She felt keenly that she was in the arms of a man who could break her or keep her from being broken.