Alice-Miranda at Sea (2 page)

'I
sn't the ship beautiful?' Alice-Miranda exclaimed as the group stood on the dock beside the gleaming white liner. Snatches of jazz drifted on the air, coming from a small musical ensemble on the open deck above.

‘I'll say,' Jacinta agreed. ‘Have you been on her before?'

‘No, this is a first for me too. Mummy and Daddy have been quite a few times but I think they were all “no children” affairs,' Alice-Miranda replied.

‘The place is probably packed to the gills with priceless antiques – I can imagine why your Aunty Gee wouldn't want little monsters running amok,' Millie commented.

‘And her son, Freddy, has plenty of those,' Hugh whispered conspiratorially to Cecelia.

His wife rolled her eyes. Queen Georgiana's seven grandchildren had quite the reputation for their wild behaviour – and hence were never at the top of anyone's invitation list, particularly the Queen's own.

‘How many people are coming to the wedding?' Millie asked.

‘I think at last count there were 285,' said Cecelia. ‘Charlotte and Lawrie were keen just to have family and close friends.'

‘I still can't believe
we
got invited,' said Millie, nodding towards Jacinta.

‘Darling, you and Jacinta
are
like family. Hugh and I have become very fond of you both. And it's lovely for Alice-Miranda to have you here too,' Cecelia smiled.

Along the dock black limousines were lined up nose to tail, like ponies on a carousel. Alice-Miranda waved feverishly at Granny Bert and Daisy, who had just arrived with Mrs Oliver and Mrs Shillingsworth a couple of cars ahead. The whole Highton-Smith-Kennington-Jones household had been invited to the wedding.

Alice-Miranda waved at an elderly lady wearing a ruby-coloured suit. ‘Hello Granny,' she called. The woman was busily directing a chauffeur who was wrestling with a mountain of luggage. Granny Valentina Highton-Smith, on seeing her only grandchild, called back, ‘See you on board, darling,' and blew her a kiss, which Alice-Miranda promptly reached out and caught, and blew straight back again.

‘Look, there's Sir Robert and dear cousin Lady Sarah and their gorgeous girls, Poppy and Annie.' Cecelia waved furiously at a blonde woman wearing a very stylish pink hat and an armful of gold bracelets. A pair of enormous diamonds like two Christmas tree baubles adorned her ears.

‘I haven't seen Poppy and Annie for ages.' Alice-Miranda waved towards the group. ‘Well, not since last Christmas at Granny's.'

‘Another Poppy! So there'll be two Poppys on the ship. That's so confusing,' Jacinta said. ‘We'll have to think what to call them. What's your cousin's surname?'

‘Adams,' Alice-Miranda replied.

‘So we'll have Poppy Adams and Poppy Bauer. We could just call them Poppy A and Poppy B,' Jacinta declared.

‘Oh dear,' Cecelia began. ‘I'm sorry girls, but Lily called a little while ago to say that they aren't going to make it. Granny Bauer is still unwell and needs them to stay on with her for longer.'

Heinrich Bauer ran the farm at Highton Hall. His wife Lily often helped Cecelia, while Jasper and Poppy were two of Alice-Miranda's closest companions.

‘That's bad news,' Alice-Miranda replied. ‘I hope Granny Bauer gets better soon. The wedding just won't be the same without Poppy and Jasper, but at least Millie can take loads of photographs for us to show them when we're home again.'

‘That sounds perfect but come along, girls, we want to get settled as quickly as possible.' Hugh began to guide the children towards the ship. ‘There's plenty of time to see everyone when we're on board.'

A short line of crewmen, splendidly dressed in dazzling white uniforms, stood either side of the gangplank. Not that ‘plank' was the right word at all for the ornate navy-blue bridge and stretch of red carpet that spanned the void between the dock and the ship.

Alice-Miranda insisted on greeting every single one of the crew individually.

‘Hello, my name is Alice-Miranda Highton-Smith-Kennington-Jones.' She held out her tiny hand. ‘And I'm very pleased to meet you. This is my mummy, Cecelia, and my daddy, Hugh, and these are my two friends Millie and Jacinta.'

The first sailor gave a small nod and reluctantly took her hand in his.

‘Um, nice to meet you, miss. Sir, ma'am,' he looked at Mr Kennington-Jones for approval. Hugh smiled broadly and shook his head in the direction of his effusive daughter.

The exchange was repeated again and again until Alice-Miranda had shaken hands with all of the assembled staff, whose grins widened as she moved from one to the other. She proceeded to skip up the gangplank where she was greeted by the admiral, a stocky, grey-bearded septuagenarian named Teddy Harding.

‘Good morning, miss.' He knelt down to greet Alice-Miranda, who promptly introduced herself in the usual way. Admiral Harding looked up to see Cecelia and Hugh arriving behind her. He motioned to the two crewmen either side to assist him back to his feet.

‘Admiral Harding.' Cecelia greeted the old man with a kiss on each cheek. ‘It's wonderful to see you again.'

‘You're looking as lovely as ever, Cecelia, my dear.' Admiral Harding held Cecelia's hands and took a step backwards.

‘And you're the same charming old fox I remember.' Hugh raised an eyebrow as the two men shook hands vigorously.

‘Well, I see your little daughter is every bit as gorgeous as her mother.' Admiral Harding winked at Alice-Miranda who winked right back. ‘And who do we have here?' he asked, spying Jacinta and Millie over Alice-Miranda's shoulder.

‘May I introduce you to my good friends from school, Jacinta Headlington-Bear and Millicent Jane McLoughlin-McTavish-McNoughton-McGill – but she likes to be called Millie.' Alice-Miranda motioned for them to come forward.

Admiral Harding shook the girls' hands and said that he was very pleased to meet them. ‘In fact, didn't I just meet your parents a little while ago, Miss Millicent?' he asked, looking perplexed.

From behind the girls, Cecelia raised her finger to her lips and gently shook her head. She had been hoping to keep the arrival of Millie's and Jacinta's parents a surprise until the girls boarded.

‘No, I must be mistaken. Probably another couple on board with the very same name. Imagine that,' Admiral Harding chuckled.

Millie and Jacinta exchanged glances, wondering what on earth he was talking about.

A tall man in a crisp uniform slid into position beside the admiral, who glowered at his late arrival.

‘May I introduce you to our Principal Medical Officer, Dr Nicholas Lush.' Admiral Harding nodded at the man. ‘Pity he's yet to find a watch that keeps good time.'

Dr Lush gulped and his bald head turned the colour of ripe raspberries. ‘Hello, I'm so very pleased to meet you,' he gushed at Cecelia and Hugh.

‘What a delicious name you have, Dr Lush.' Alice-Miranda stretched forward to shake his hand. He hesitated a moment, then reached out and took her hand in his. ‘It's very nice to meet you, sir.'

‘Mmm, yes,' Nicholas mumbled.

‘But I hope we don't see you again,' Jacinta said.

Dr Lush looked at Jacinta as though he was inspecting a nasty fungal infection.

‘Jacinta – rude!' Millie whispered behind her left hand, before promptly elbowing her friend in the ribs with her right arm.

‘I didn't mean it like that. I'm sure you're a perfectly nice person, Dr Lush, it's just that if we see you it means we're sick and I don't plan on being sick for one second,' Jacinta finished. The group looked at her and laughed.

Dr Lush sneered. He rather hoped he didn't see the little brats again either. He hadn't counted on there being any children on board. In his experience, particularly with Her Majesty's own grandchildren, they only created problems and a lot more work.

Admiral Harding signalled to three young stewards standing to his left.

‘Well, these lads will show you to your quarters. We're departing at 2 pm. I hope you'll join us on deck for a good old-fashioned send-off.'

M
eanwhile, out on the dock, guests were scattering this way and that as the flag-flying motorcade pulled up beside the gangplank. Aunty Gee had delayed their arrival by several minutes as she stopped to talk with the handsome, dark-eyed policeman at the security checkpoint. He rather reminded her of her late husband, Leopold.

In an operation requiring military precision, Queen Georgiana and her household were to be on board the ship and ensconced in their suites within the next twenty minutes. However, the royal standard was not yet flying and protocol demanded that the Queen didn't board the ship until the flag was in place.

‘Dalton, whatever is the delay?' Aunty Gee enquired of her personal bodyguard.

Dalton pushed his earpiece harder into his ear. ‘I'm not entirely sure, ma'am, but I think someone has . . . um . . . misplaced the flag,' he replied sheepishly.

‘Well, tell them to hurry up and find it. I've had two glasses of water on the way from the airport and whilst
I
have an impeccable constitution, it would seem that my aged bladder does not,' the Queen ordered.

Aunty Gee scanned the quayside and soon her eyes fell upon just what she was looking for.

‘Dalton, Mrs Marmalade, why don't you hop out and see about this silly hold-up?' she commanded. With both her bodyguard and lady-in-waiting out of the car, Aunty Gee waited a moment before alighting the vehicle on the far side. Fortunately her entire entourage seemed to be gazing at the empty flagpole, as if by mere power of mutual thought they could zip the flag into place. With some urgency, Aunty Gee fled to the public convenience located opposite the ship and was out again before anyone had time to miss her.

On her return to the vehicle she spotted a fair-haired lad staring up at the
Octavia
.

‘Are you joining us?' Aunty Gee asked the boy and motioned towards the case he was hiding behind his left leg.

Neville moved his head ever so slightly and wondered why the woman speaking to him seemed vaguely familiar. He had been up and down the quayside five times now and still hadn't been able to work out which ship was heading where. His mission was made doubly difficult by several large containers lining the dock obscuring some of the ships' names.

‘A-a-america?' he squeaked in an octave befitting a chorister.

‘What was that, dear? A miracle?' Aunty Gee repeated, staring at the boy and wondering at the cause of his unusually high voice. ‘Yes, it will be a miracle if we ever board this ship today. Well, you'd better get a move on. They'll want you on there before they'll let me up. And where are your parents?'

Neville gulped. If he said that he was travelling on his own, surely she'd call security. He was thinking about running when he looked across and saw her. A miracle indeed.

He pointed to the bottom of the gangplank where a woman wearing a huge black hat and oversized sunglasses was teetering towards the ship.

‘Is that your mother?' Aunty Gee asked.

Neville managed a small nod.

‘Well, hurry up and join her then.' Aunty Gee turned and called to the woman, ‘Dear! Excuse me, dear, you've left your son behind.'

The woman did not turn around at all. ‘Run along there, lad. Obviously your mother has a hearing problem,' Aunty Gee tutted as she dived back into her own car and waited.

Neville Nordstrom was on his way up the gangplank before he had time to think. He reached the woman with the umbrella-sized hat and stood rigid behind her, like a stalk on a mushroom. No one seemed to notice him at all.

Well aware that Her Majesty was waiting to board, Admiral Harding was keeping his greetings to a bare minimum. A swift shake of the hand or nod of the head was all the time he could afford. When Ambrosia Headlington-Bear reached the head of the queue she pulled the earphones from her ears in anticipation of a lengthy welcome speech. She'd been looking forward to this moment. It wasn't every day one boarded the
Octavia
as a guest of the Queen.

At the same moment, First Officer Whitley Prendergast appeared and whispered to a much-relieved Admiral Harding that they had located the missing flag, which was now on its way to the flagpole. He didn't mention that it had been found hidden in one of the stewards' lockers. How it got there was a mystery indeed.

Ambrosia tapped her Prada heels, removed her sunglasses and stared at the admiral.

‘Yes, welcome. Mr and Mrs Headlington-Bear, I presume?' Admiral Harding greeted her. He made a point of researching his passengers well and prided himself on knowing many on sight. ‘I'm sorry to rush you along there, ma'am, but we have to keep moving. Don't want to be late now.'

‘Yes, but he's . . .' Ambrosia began.

‘Yes, it's lovely to have you on board,' Admiral Harding steamrolled as the young purser beside him checked off the list of names. ‘Hurry along, please ma'am. We're running a wee bit late.'

Several guests were now pushing up behind. The admiral checked his watch. It was 1.45 pm. How they would have Queen Georgiana installed in her suite by 2 pm was anyone's guess, but if the lines of perspiration trailing down the side of his face were any indication, Admiral Harding would do it, or at the very least, die trying.

In one swift move, Neville's hand flew out from behind Ambrosia, holding aloft his passport and ticket for anyone who cared to see.

But nobody noticed and Neville found himself swept along in the woman's wake. His heart hammered inside his chest as he reached into his jacket pocket for his inhaler.

As they passed by what looked to be a dining room, Neville felt rather glad he hadn't bothered to upgrade his ticket. Discount economy passage to the USA looked much better than he had imagined.