Alexxxa (25 page)

“I don’t know—I don’t know…” She covered her face with her hands. “I know that I don’t want to do this—to be like this—forever. I want kids one day—with you—but not now. Now I want the attention—I still want it.” Her breathing was becoming labored as she sucked in huge breaths, trying to prevent herself from crying. “Maybe you are too good for me.”

I pried her hands away from her face and cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. “Don’t you dare ever say that again. If anything, you’re too good for me. I love you, we’ll figure something out.”

I curled around the back of her, playing the big spoon to her little one and held her tightly against me. I had the worst sinking feeling in my stomach. I was terrified that I was going to lose her. The real question was, how far would I be willing to go to prevent that?

The next morning Alexa acted like she hadn’t had an emotional break down and pretended everything was normal. I was hopeful that maybe she’d reassessed things. Everyone is permitted to fall apart emotionally once in a while. I knew she was stressed out. Things were different for her; she was still adjusting to her new life. It’s a fact that all change, even a positive one, is stressful. I just had to give her more time. I’d show her that my love was enough for her. I’d find a way to make her happy somehow.

The four of us, Alexa, Suzy, Eli and myself were getting ready to have breakfast. Suzy and Alexa were acting almost too pleasant to each other, as if they didn’t want to rock the boat at all. I wasn’t going to interfere though; they had years to perfect their coping systems for each other.

The doorbell chimed while I was making pancakes for everyone. Alexa wasn’t much of a cook and I actually enjoyed it. I found it relaxing, and rewarding. Plus I was hoping I’d get the usual exuberant reaction from Alexa when I gave her what she liked to call a ‘mouthgasm’.

“I’ll get it.” Alexa pulled herself from her stool and headed for the door.

A few minutes later my mother stalked into the kitchen with my ex-girlfriend Natalie beside her. I dropped the skillet and batter splattered everywhere.

“What’s going on?”

My mother skimmed her gaze over Suzy and Eli and then narrowed her eyes at me. “That’s what I’d like to know.”

~Alexa

I immediately recognized the small curvy woman with grey streaked hair when I opened the door. David had shown me pictures of his mother. The tall, lithe brunette beside her—I did not. I was taken by surprise, to say the least. “Ummm… Hi.” What does one say when the mother of the man you love shows up, unannounced on your doorstep, knowing that she hates you? Proper etiquette required me to invite her in. What I really wanted to do was slam the door in her face. “David’s in the kit—“ As soon as I unlatched the door she stormed past me, not even acknowledging me. The tall brunette followed suit, her nose up in the air.

I trailed along behind them, anger and curiosity intermingled. When David saw his mother, he dropped the skillet and spattered pancake batter everywhere. “What’s going on?” he asked, his eyes wide with surprise.

His mother eyed Eli and Aunt Suzy with open hostility. “That’s what I’d like to know.”

“Wha—what do you mean?” David stammered with confusion. “We’re getting ready to have breakfast.”

“I can see that little whore has completely corrupted you. Are you bi-sexual now too, or just a—a swinger?”

Eli spit out his juice and Aunt Suzy’s mouth dropped open. But before anyone, even me, could react, David’s face turned red with anger. “How dare you, mother!” I watched as his fists clenched and unclenched. “You have no right to come into my house, uninvited, and insult not only the woman I love—the woman I’m going to marry, but people you know nothing about.” Eli and Aunt Suzy slid from their chairs and excused themselves from the room—or really slunk out—trying to avoid getting involved in the conflict. I couldn’t really blame them, plus I didn’t want the bullshit to affect Suzy and the baby. I didn’t know how that kind of thing worked but I wouldn’t risk it.

“Come here,” David held out his hand. I walked around the other side of the table to avoid being to close to his mother. I took his hand and he pulled me into his side. “This is my fiancé, mother. Her name is Alexa. If you ever disrespect her again, that will be the last time you see either of us.”

His mom choked back a sob. “Natalie’s a good girl, and she loves you. Why can’t you be with someone like her?”

My gaze swung up to the tall brunette—Natalie? David had mentioned he had an ex by that name. I had to assume that they were one in the same. I had no idea they’d been that serious though, and obviously his mother loved her. It was like a little knife in my gut. I’d never been jealous before. But as I stood there, eyes roaming over David’s ex from head to toe—I suddenly found myself lacking. Why wasn’t David with someone like her?

“My relationships are none of your business, mother.” David’s voice was cold and emotionless; his anger had morphed into something much worse—disgust.

“Of course they are! I’m your mother! Whatever it is, you and Natalie can work on it! You can make it work! Just tell that little gold digging whore that you won’t ever be marrying her.”

Natalie, who had been silent up until that point stepped forward. “Look, David, I’m not really sure what went wrong between us but now I think I might have a guess.” She glanced back at David’s mother and she gave her a tight-lipped encouraging smile. “I obviously didn’t please you in the bedroom, but I didn’t know you liked to take control like you do. Knowing that—I—I—can let you. I’d like it, actually.” I gnawed on the inside of my cheek to stay quiet. Natalie had no idea what she was talking about. Sure, David took control of me sometimes, but he enjoyed me dominating him just as much. It really depended on the situation and how we were both feeling. David wasn’t harboring any secret Dom tendencies that I’d allowed him to explore, and he wasn’t looking for a sub. Sounded to me like Natalie had read one too many fiction books on the BDSM community and thought she knew a thing or two.

“And how would you know that I like to take control?” David asked through gritted teeth. His fingers were digging into my shoulder. Apparently he didn’t feel the need to correct her on her wrong assumptions either. It was probably better that way. I wasn’t really interested in airing out more details of our sex life.

“I—I saw the videos.” She wrung her hands together. “Please, David, give me another chance.”

“Look, Natalie, I really don’t know what my mother told you.” He shot a scathing glare at her. “But there’s no chance for you and me. I broke things off with you because something was missing. I found everything I want in Alexa.”

“I didn’t raise you to be a sexual deviant!” his mother screeched. David’s fingers dug into my skin more. I knew his was trying to tell me through body language that he wanted to handle everything between him and his mother—and Natalie, but if that woman insulted me one more time I was going to lose my shit.

“Leave, now. I don’t want to talk to you again until you’re willing to apologize to Alexa, and mean it.”

“No!” she cried out, “You can’t mean to choose her over your own mother! She’s done something to you—she’s—“

“All she’s done is show me what real love is about. Real unconditional love.” David let go of me and turned his back on her, essentially dismissing her.

Natalie reached out her hand as if to touch David from across the room, and then let it fall to her side. She glared down at me. “When he gets tired of you, when he wants more than just sex, he’ll come back to me.”

“Get out of my house—both of you!” I yelled. “Didn’t you hear him? He doesn’t want you here!” David remained impassive with his back to them, which silently screamed louder than I had that they needed to leave. Finally getting the message the two of them slunk from the house.

~David

As soon as my mother and Natalie were gone I turned to face Alexa, but she wasn’t there. Or what I should say, is that she was there physically, but obviously not present mentally. She was standing perfectly still, her tiny arms hugged around her, and her face blank of all emotion. Seeing her like that kind of scared me.

“Alexa—“ I started.

“David,” she mumbled, swiveling around to launch herself into my arms. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking that you need to forget that ever happened, push it out of your mind because I love you and that’s all that matters.”

“You never told me. What happened with Natalie? She’s beautiful—why did you end things with her?”

Fuck.
Her question let me know exactly where her mind was. Despite what I’d just said, and despite my best efforts to keep it from happening…my mother and Natalie had gotten under her skin. “I broke it off with her because of what I said—something was missing with her. I didn’t feel the way I do with you with her.”

“Is it the sex, David? Because if it’s just the sex then she’s right. One day you’re going to wake up and wonder what the hell you’re doing with me.”

I pulled her away from my chest and forced her to meet my gaze. Her dark blue eyes were a deep pool of angst. “I love our sex life. And yes, being compatible sexually is very important. You stretched me sexually, helped me to discover what I really enjoy. But if we could never have sex again—I’d still love you until my dying breath. You don’t seem to understand that I love you for everything you are, and your body, the sex—it’s just one part of you.”

Seeming to be pacified, at least temporarily, Alexa let go of me and sat at the table. “Wow. Emotionally intense situations really make me hungry. I hope we don’t have more soon because I’m going to end up a fatty at this rate.” She stabbed a stack of pancakes, plopped them down on her plate and covered them with maple syrup. “Do you think we should get Eli and Suzy or let them find their way back down here on their own?”

“Let them figure it out.” I turned off the stove and went to Alexa. “You’re coming with me.” I bent and picked her up off the stool, cradling her to my chest.

“What about breakfast?” she squealed.

“We’ll have breakfast later. Right now I’m hungry for something else.” Okay, so being that Alexa was worried that I only wanted her for sex, me immediately wanting to fuck around with her probably wasn’t the best idea, but I wanted to feel close to her. And being a guy I couldn’t imagine a way to feel closer to someone than being inside them. Guy logic was pretty straight forward like that most of the time.