Airs & Graces (14 page)
“You rest now, Addy. You go where you want while you here. Most can tell you where go. I come find you, you wake.” She bowed, and I bowed back awkwardly, but points for trying, yeah?
She shut the door softly behind her, and I sank down on the bed. I was grateful there was no click of a lock on the outside of the door. I really did feel like a guest here and not a prisoner. It put my mind at ease; Tab really could learn a couple things from these folks. I bit the inside of my cheek and instantly regretted the thought. I was being an uncharitable bitch. I stood, pulled back the thick quilt on the bed, and lay down. The bed was a bit short for my tall frame, but it didn’t matter; I slept curled on my side so it was perfectly comfortable. I closed my eyes, and I think I was instantly asleep.
***
The dream was an awkward one for me to have. I was in the antique shop, and this girl was chattering away as she dusted, her long hair done up in a braid that fell single file down her spine. She was tall and wiping down the higher shelf of candlesticks with no more help to reach them than standing on her toes. I blinked, my old eyes misting with pride at how she learned things so quickly, and I dashed them away, pulling off my half-moon glasses and pinching the bridge of my nose to disguise the tears as an old man with a headache. The girl turned with a rakish grin and asked one of her myriad questions, and I woke up… sitting straight in the borrowed Temple bed in Tibet, half a world away from Piorre’s old antique shop and thoroughly creeped out by the image of my own body turning to smile at me.
It was dark outside the window save for the silver glow of the moon and stars. I lay back down with my mind racing… What had Piorre done to me? My own eyes misted, then spilled over as I rolled onto my side and hugged my knees, the sobs finally coming so fast and fierce they choked off the scream of rage that had been coming up out of my center. Piorre was dead, someone had murdered him… the closest thing I would ever have to a parental figure that gave a damn. The only person whose disappointment actually counted for something, other than just a mechanism for making me feel like shit. I slammed a fist into the firm mattress again, again, and again, but it only made me feel marginally better, because if what I had just dreamt meant what I think it did, then I was sure that Piorre had given this to me on purpose. He knew I would figure it out and do the right thing.
Right?
I let myself grieve at an accelerated pace because this was a huge piece of the puzzle, at least for me. I had Piorre’s memories, and he knew something, something that seriously pissed in Heaven and Hell’s Cheerios, enough for them to come after him and kill him for it. Now I had it, and I had better get an inside edge on this thing before it killed me too. I thought furiously about it, letting the tears dry on my face.
Tab had said something about this Grace, and said the journal was supposed to lead to ‘unfolding’ it. I chewed my lip and thought about it… yeah he did. Unfolding the Grace would give the location to some kind of keys then. Well shit, Tab was my key to this entire mess right now. I thought about it some more and wished I had some freaking internet access. If I did, I would try to research some of the lore on this crap and see if any of it panned out, but I didn’t, so I had to pick my questions for the Angel carefully and work with what he would give me.
I paused, my train of thought derailed. Tab was an Angel. I knew it, I just knew it and I can’t tell you how I knew, but my guess was it had something to do with this Grace stuff coming online. It felt like a memory, like a piece of information you knew to be true and just took for granted that it was, I just didn’t have the need to question it anymore, and so I went with the instinct. Tab was an Angel, not Fallen. I had seen his wings. So what if they weren’t white like the Archangels had been in the torture memory? Maybe if Tab and I could get along and develop some kind of working relationship that didn’t involve him treating me like a pest rather than a person, I could ask. For now it was irrelevant. I chewed my lip. This was all so fucked up, but it was what it was, and I either had to move forward and deal or go nuts. Guess which one I fancied as I lay in the dark and silence.
I don’t remember doing it, but I fell asleep again. Only this time when I woke, it was to the peal of a large gong or bell that was calling everyone in the place to wakefulness. I groaned, looked out the window, and was greeted by the ass crack of dawn, the light just coming up over the mountain peaks. I dragged myself out of bed and blinked down at the stack of clothes on the table, my heart much lighter at my freshly clean bra and panty set sitting on the top. Hurrah! Comfortable underwear – the day was suddenly looking up.
My white tee must have been toast, because it was gone. I slipped the shirt over my head and dealt with the unfamiliar fasteners on it. It was a deep rich midnight and silk and had long sleeves, which I was grateful for. It was a touch tight across my chest, as I had quite a bit more bosom than the other girls I’d seen around here, but it worked.
I finished quickly in the cold crisp air in my room and was pleased that with the long Asian style shirt was a pair of black pants and not a skirt like most of the rest of the girls were wearing. Black Chinese silk Mary-Jane-style shoes with a sensible rubber sole finished off the outfit, and I was presentable, if feeling a bit awkward in the borrowed clothes. I swept up my hair into a high ponytail, forgoing my usual braid and opened the door to my little room to find the hallway all a-bustle with people. Mei-Lei stood at the ready with her usual smile, already reaching for my hand.
I couldn’t help but smile back at her, her good nature positively infectious. God knows I was the last one anyone would dare accuse of being a morning person. We were swept up into the flow of people all heading in the same direction and to what I assumed was their Morning Prayer, or breakfast. Mei-Lei tugged my arm so I would lean down to hear her over the dull roar of just so many people in the small hall way.
“We meditate first, then eat, then they work, I guide you – that is my work today.” She smiled up at me impishly, and I grinned back. She was good. Making me feel like I got her out of having to do her chores or something, rather than like I
was
her daily chore. I would follow the old saying as much as I could while Tab did his thing. You know the one: when in Rome; do what the Romans do. I could already tell I was becoming the local sensation, or at least the new thing. As tall as I was, I easily stood a head above everyone else in the hall, and I could see many pairs of eyes casting furtive glances in my direction, if they weren’t outright staring already. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but if it was the worst thing that happened to me today I was in awesome shape as compared to yesterday.
Still, out of the press of people, all moving purposefully in the same direction, it was her stillness that caught my attention. She stood against the wall, dressed similarly to Mei-Lei and all the other girls in residence. She was younger though, no older than fifteen, but no younger than twelve either. Her hair was braided through with red ribbons up in a coronet on her head, and though the flash of bright color only helped to make her stand out from the crowd, it was her expression that made me swallow hard. Unlike everyone else’s that was curious, or pleasant, hers was downright unfriendly. Her dark gaze smoldered in her face, and I couldn’t stop myself from glancing at the amulet to see if it glowed warning, such was the look she gave me. I tried to politely ignore her and listened as Mei-Lei chattered along in Chinese to the people around us.
After a while of slipping through the traffic jam of people up to the Temple’s antechamber, it became apparent the topic of conversation with Mei-Lei was her new charge. I smiled and nodded politely at those that looked and was rewarded in some cases with a smile back, and in others with a hasty look away. It was a mixed bag: some people were curious, and others seemed afraid of me. I couldn’t say I blamed them. I was afraid to be me right now too. As we managed to get sucked through the bottleneck and flow out into the Temple, I followed Mei-Lei to the back, beside the great doors we had come through the day before. I could see people trickling in through doors in each of the four corners of the vast room, and now that I was paying attention, I could see that unlike a church or any other Temple I had seen before, this one didn’t have any religious icon at the front altar.
Instead it had a large bell, with what looked like a log of the same type of wood as the pillars suspended from thick rope behind it to use as the clapper. The bell was made of heavy bronze and was affixed with a yin and yang symbol. That made sense: after all, hadn’t Tab said this was a Temple of balance? People were taking up places on the mats on the floor, sitting cross-legged, their backs straight in a traditional meditative pose. I followed Mei-Lei and did the same, just trying to blend in, following the proverbial bouncing ball as best I could. When the chanting started, the men’s voices rising into the air, I remained silent, and when the others closed their eyes, I looked forward and did the same. The chanting was loud and strong, and I could feel it vibrating in my chest and along my spine. I was dimly familiar with the concepts behind meditation, and so I set my breathing to slow and deep and did my best to let go of my thoughts, stilling my mind to a pleasant blank.
With everything that had happened over the last day I tried to use this time to cultivate calm, focusing on my breathing, my heartbeat and the relaxation of tense muscles. I don’t know how long I sat there; I don’t even remember the chanting coming to a stop, but it was a gentle touch on my shoulder that brought me back from wherever I’d gone inside my own head. I opened my eyes to look into the smiling eyes of Mei-Lei.
“You have meditated before,” she said in her heavily accented English. “That is good.”
I looked around us and realized I was one of only a very few people in the Temple’s great room and that most of the others were getting up, or even a very few were staring curiously at me. Except one, the girl from the hall was up near the bell, her forehead creased by a frown. I attempted to smile at her, figuring it couldn’t hurt, but her brows just drew down further. I stood up and felt a little bit creaky from sitting it one position for so long, still not exactly sure how long I had been there. Mei-Lei, happy and go-lucky as ever, linked her arm through mine, and we stepped out the great doors to blink in the sun, letting our eyes adjust.
The courtyard down the Temple steps was all a-bustle with activity. Boys came up some steps to the left carrying buckets of water, two at a time, with yokes across their shoulders. Women carried large baskets brimming with vegetables on their backs and all disappeared down some other steps, presumably toward the kitchen. A corner of the courtyard had a neat grid of uniformly dressed people, men and women alike going through slow, graceful and deliberate movements that captivated my attention. I stood and watched for a long time, and it was Mei-Lei’s giggle that brought me out of my fascination.
“Come!” she said, “You try!” She wrapped both of her thin arms around my one and tugged, and her enthusiasm was such that I didn’t want to disappoint her. The calm that had settled over me with the morning’s meditation was still with me, and so I strolled down the sun-drenched steps with Mei-Lei, all the way to the bottom and to the right corner of the courtyard. Beneath the shade of the imposing outer wall, the people flowed from one pose to the next, arms and legs cutting through the air with liquid grace. I watched, standing still for a couple moments, Mei-Lei already moving gently beside me. I started, self-conscious at first, but quickly falling into the rhythm of the movements, easily, like slipping into a familiar shirt, worn and butter-soft with age.
As if my body remembered the movements that my conscious mind had simply forgotten… Was this the Grace taking over? I didn’t know, and I didn’t care either. It was tranquil, and the movements felt good and pure, and for the first time in days, I felt light and free, and I didn’t want that feeling to end just yet. So, I just let my mind go that pleasant blank again. I let the horror slip off my shoulders and the terror seep away, and for the rest of the morning, I let myself forget that Heaven and Hell wanted to tear me apart for something I didn’t have the ability to give them even if I’d wanted to. And at this point, I didn’t feel like giving them shit… either one of them.
We all flowed as one, gently streaming from one movement to the next until we came to the final one. I raised my arms out and above my head, bringing my legs together to stand straight as my arms swept in and down, my hands pressing flat on empty air.
Everyone broke into serene smiles, turning to one another and bowing with murmured thanks. Mei-Lei cocked her head. “You do that very good, Addy. Master Yin proud,” she said pointing back at the Temple. I turned to look, and sure enough, there was Master Yin, stooped and clad in golden robes. Tab acted as the old man’s tall, dark, and brooding shadow. The grin on Master Yin’s face was unmistakable even at this distance, and Tab…well, his features were pretty much unreadable as always. I raised my arm and waved at the both of them, Master Yin waved back, but Tab, he just crossed his arms over his chest and said something to the older man, who looked up at him and responded.
I sighed, so I was still just a problem to be dealt with, not a person. Somehow the thought crossed my mind that Tab wasn’t as bad as all of that, but from where I was standing, it was hard for me to believe. Again Master Yin’s words struck a chord in me, about how Tab had been through a lot for the human race with little thanks. Again I felt a pang of guilt about how I had treated him. I looked back at Mei-Lei to tell her I was going to go talk to the men but caught sight of the younger girl again. She was watching me from the deeper shadow of the wall, her gaze again decidedly unfriendly.
I’d had enough. I’d at least done something to earn the attitude from Tab, but I hadn’t done shit to little miss. In fact, up to this point, I had tried valiantly to be on my best behavior. I pointed at her and asked Mei-Lei, “Does she speak English?” Mei-Lei followed my finger and grew very still.
