Agatha Parrot and the Floating Head (5 page)

Ellie isn't very good at talking to teachers, so she just blushed. Ivy butted in and said, ‘Ellie saw a massive SPIDER on the window sill and she didn't want to be wrapped up in a giant cobweb and EATEN ALIVE so she asked Martha to swap. Isn't that right Ellie?'

Ellie nodded and blushed even more.

‘It must have been a
very
big spider,' muttered Miss Pingle.

Soon the window was open and Martha was sitting in a blast of cold fresh air and feeling a lot better.

Ivy leant over towards me and whispered, ‘This global warming is freezing me to death! Let's hope Martha's back to normal tomorrow.'

But she wasn't.

N
ext morning Ivy knocked on my door then we went to knock on number 3 to make sure Martha was up and ready for school.

‘I'm sorry,' said Martha's mum, standing on the doorstep. ‘But I really can't let her out. Could you
take a note in for Miss Pingle?'

‘Oh, she can't be that bad,' said Ivy.

‘She didn't sleep at all last night,' said Martha's mum. ‘She can't go to school. Come inside while I write the note.'

We went into the hall and waited while Martha's mum hurried off to the kitchen to find something to write on. Just then Martha came walking down the stairs in her pyjamas.

‘Hi Martha!' I said. ‘You look fine. Come on, get dressed, we'll wait for you.'

‘Hi Dad,' said Martha, and she was looking at Ivy! ‘Aren't cornflakes funny?'

‘Eh?' said Ivy.

‘Martha, it's us!' I said.

‘I left my shoes on when I went swimming,' said Martha. ‘Good job the octopus was asleep.'

‘Octopus?' said Ivy sounding
worried. ‘Is she growing eight arms after all?'

‘No!' I said. ‘She's having a joke and it's really funny. Hey Martha, wait till the other kids at school see your dizzy act, they'll love it. So come on, skirt, shirt, shoes, school bag and let's be going . . .'

‘But I have to count the oysters,' said Martha. ‘Or they'll start to sing.'

Martha was starting to freak us a bit. I took hold of her hand and lifted it up but it was all floppy. When I let it go it just dropped back down again.

‘Well, I better get ready for the eskimos,' said Martha and then she disappeared back upstairs again. Weird!

Then Martha's mum came back and said ‘I'm sorry you can't see Martha. She's only just fallen asleep. In fact she was sleepwalking just before you called.'

Sleepwalking! That explained everything. Martha's mum held a note out for us to take, but that was
no good! We HAD to get Martha into school someway, somehow . . .

I found myself pulling my hair which is what I do to wake my brain up. It works too! I'd just had an idea. It was a bit mad, but it had to be worth a try. ‘Sorry,' I said to Martha's mum. ‘I've just realised all my pockets are completely full, and so are yours Ivy. That's a pity, there's no room for the note, unless . . .'

‘Unless what?' asked Martha's mum.

‘Can I take Martha's coat?'

Martha's new coat was hanging up on the hall pegs. It was the most famous coat in the school because it was quite long and bright blue with yellow spots, and best of all it had a big hood. You'll see why that's important in a minute.

‘I just need it for today. Then I can keep the note in the pocket, and what's more, if I'm carrying Martha's coat I'll remember to pass
the note over. It's how my brain works, you see?'

Martha's mum looked surprised. ‘Well, if you think it's necessary . . .'

‘Absolutely vital,' I said and took the coat down off the hook. ‘We'll see it comes back, promise!'

And then if you were watching us ten minutes later, you'd have seen me and Ivy walking into school, and in between us was Martha
in her famous coat with her arms round our shoulders. At least, that's what it looked like. Ho ho, the mystery thickens.
Da-da-DAHHHH!

I
vy was having a good old panic in the cloakroom. ‘Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. We'll never get away with this!' she kept saying. ‘Oh no. Oh no . . .'

‘Yes we will,' I told her. ‘Won't we, Martha?'

The Martha in the blue and yellow coat didn't say anything. That's because her head was a balloon with a face on it, but with the hood pulled right over and a scarf round the neck, you could hardly see it! Awesome. I'd had to pinch the duvet off brother James's bed to fill the body out because as you know by now Martha is quite a healthy size (i.e. she's only about one pie off total fatness). We'd made the legs
by stuffing my spare trousers with Dad's old newspapers. I checked that the gloves were still safely pinned on to the ends of the sleeves and Ivy made sure the shoes tied on to the legs weren't going to fall off. Bianca came in to hang her coat up. This was the first proper test!

‘Hello Martha,' she said without looking round. ‘Are you beeling fetter?'

I put my arm around Martha's shoulders like we were being mates.
‘You mean feeling better?' I said. ‘Yeah, Martha's fine, she's just lost her voice, haven't you Martha?' I stuck my ear in front of the balloon's face and then nodded to pretend I was listening. ‘What's that? Oh yes Martha, I'm sure they'll let you keep your coat on. In fact it is a bit chilly, so we'll all keep our coats on.'

Bianca looked amazed. ‘I'm not billy, I'm choiling!'

Of course she meant she was
boiling, but that was no good for our plan. ‘Sorry Bianca. You can't be boiling today. Today you feel cold.'

‘Cold?' asked Bianca. ‘Why?'

Ivy gave me a prod in the ribs. It was the sort of prod which said ‘we'll have to tell Bianca what we're doing.' I had to agree with the prod because Bianca sat next to Martha in class. Ivy went to keep guard by the door, then I unzipped the front of Martha's coat.