Again (19 page)

Starved for intimacy, Eryn clutched at his corded shoulders, pulling him closer, feeding him the sweetness of her mouth.

“Eryn,” he groaned, heavy with need.

Rolling her towards him, he shifted her hips to shed her of the scant fabric that was the barrier between them.

“I need you, Eryn.
 
Right now.
 
I need you.”

That statement, that small admission from Bryce, slammed into her.
 
He had never admitted to needing anything or anyone.
 
She moved her hips against his, encouraging him, but when his fingers stroked her flesh, when he nudged her thighs open, when they fell into rhythm, she remembered again.

“Please do not turn me away.”
  
As if ice had been thrown on her face, Eryn cringed.
 
Her hands clenched the sheets.
 
She suddenly felt like such a traitor.
 

Pushing the dream away, she surrendered herself to Bryce and took all that he gave, giving what she could.
 
For now, she had Bryce.
 
For now she would not hurt him.

Chapter 18

My dear Jonathan,

I had no knowledge how difficult it would be to let you go.
 
When we parted, I knew not if I would see you again, and told myself it was not of great import.
 
Though you made me feel so alive, showing me the true woman I had locked deep inside, I grudgingly convinced myself we could go no further, being that our lives are so vastly different.
 
I had hoped that our kiss would be a new beginning for me, but in the time that has passed between us, I have discovered it was merely an end.

Since the day you set your sails, I had allowed my mind and body to rule without restraint in my quest to feel the same passion that I felt in your arms.
 
The notion that it would be fruitless without the participation of my heart had never occurred to me.
 
I convinced myself that my heart would eventually follow, but alas, I was indeed mistaken.

Now I pass each day with a stillness I have never known before.
 
Food passes my lips barely noticed.
 
The colors of the roses in the garden seem less brilliant, their aroma less fragrant.
 
The laughter of the children sound less joyful to me.

Oh, Jonathan, I am lost! Although, I suppose it would not be difficult to find me, for the path to the beach is well-worn from the many times I have walked upon it.
 
I find it impossible to stay away from the sea, finding some solace in my memory of our walk along the same path.

Many a sail have appeared upon the horizon when I am there, raising again and again my hopes that you have returned.
 
But when I see the ships that approach our port are not La Helena, I feel painful loneliness and sadness.
 
Often times I will stay and watch until the sun settles beyond the sea, finding a strange comfort in the emptiness the night brings.
 
I can almost hear the sun sigh as its last rays find their way to my heart, a peculiar sorrow that I embrace.
 
I yearn to be the sun that falls slowly behind the water’s edge, for surely it is closer to you than I.

My mother once told me it is best to live in the moment, for we do not have the past or the future.
 
But, Jonathan, if I were given the choice of which moment to live in, I would be hard-pressed to decide.
 
Any moment with you would be heaven.

What I found with you leaves me bittersweet memories, but I have no regrets.
 
If the saints are punishing me for my lack of restraint, I will gladly pay penance until the end.

Chapter 19

“Troy wants to double date again.
 
You up for it?”

“No, not really.”
 
The hard sound of ice against glass gave emphasis to his flat words.

Brandi thought for a moment, leaning against the wet bar as Bryce poured himself a drink.

“Probably just as well.”
 
She stared down at her own drink, swirling the ice cubes in circles.
 
“I think the only reason why he wants to double is because of her.”

Bryce shot her a sidelong look, eyes narrowed in question.

Brandi glanced at him for a moment before looking back down at her glass. “Well, he never really comes out and says it.
 
It’s just in the way he looks at her.”

Bryce’s jaw tightened in response, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed.

She pushed it further. “I think he has a thing for her and Eryn won’t do anything to stop it.”

Bryce turned his back to her, putting some distance between them.

Brandi was relentless. “She hasn’t been around all that much, has she?
 
Where is she now?”

“Out,” he said quietly.

Emptying the rest of her drink, she gently put the glass on the bar.
 
Stepping closer, she trailed her nails down his back, hooking onto his belt. “Well,
I’m
here, Bryce.”
 
She leaned into him seductively, brushing her breasts against his back.

“Get away from me.”
 
His mouth snarled with disgust.
 
He walked across the room and sat down, eyeing her warily.

Brandi stared after him, unbelieving.
 
Moving to stand in front of him, she planted her fists on her bony hips and demanded, “What the hell is wrong with me?
 
What has she got that I don’t?”

His icy stare matched hers.
 
“You’ve got to be kidding,” he laughed.
 
“You really want me to answer that?”

The hall echoed with the sound of the front door slamming shut, cutting off Brandi’s response.
 
She straightened her shoulders and stepped back, throwing Bryce a smug look, mouthing “
Your loss, asshole.”

“There you are, Eryn.” Brandi said as Eryn rounded the corner towards the kitchen. “We were just wondering where you were.”

Eryn looked between the two, sensing something was off.
 
Judging from Brandi’s smile and the way Bryce was staring into his glass, she figured Brandi had gotten under his skin somehow, which was hardly new.
 
She shifted the grocery bags in her arms.
 

“I didn’t realize anyone was waiting for me.”
 
She turned and walked to the kitchen with Brandi not far behind.

Putting the bags on the counter, Eryn started pulling things out and putting them away.
 
“So how’s Troy?”

“Oh, he’s fine.”
 
Brandi poked around in the bags.
 
“You forgot chips.”
 
She shrugged and added, “Me and Troy are going out tonight.”

Eryn turned to stare at her.
 
“Then why are you here instead of at home getting ready?”
 
Brandi’s constant presence there was definitely getting on her nerves.

“Troy said he would pick me up here.
 
He wanted me to get you guys to go out with us.”

Eryn grabbed a bag and headed to the refrigerator.
 
“We can’t go.”

“I know,” Brandi said.
 
“I’m glad.
 
I don’t think I could deal with it again.”

Eryn frowned.
 
She turned, bag still in hand.
 
“What do you mean?
 
Deal with what?”

Brandi rolled her eyes.
 
“Oh, please.
 
He’s got a thing for you and you just encourage him!”

“I don’t understand,” Eryn protested.
 
“I haven’t done anything.”

“No, of course not.”
 
Brandi was suddenly tense, her arms crossed over her chest.
 
“You never do anything.
 
That’s the point.
 
You’re just…
you
.”
 
She spat out the last word as if it was a repulsive taste on her tongue.
 
“When was the last time you tried to get a guy
before
they just fell at your feet?”

Eryn was still trying to follow the direction the conversation was heading when Brandi pressed on.

“Don’t you see how hard it is for me to find a really nice guy?
 
I think I have a chance with Troy and you’re messing it up.”

“
I’m
messing it up?”
 
Now she was completely lost.
 
“What exactly do you want me to do?”

Brandi’s fists clenched at her sides.
 
“Leave him alone.
 
Stop taking pictures of him and his fucking dog!”
 
Suddenly she was on the verge of tears.

“But that’s my job, Brandi.
 
It has nothing to do with…”

Brandi cut her off.
 
“It has everything to do with it!”
 
Her voice started to rise, punctuated by a foot stomp.
 
“Just for once I want to have a real relationship with someone who isn’t some loser.
 
Let him go, Eryn.
 
He’s mine!”

Brandi looked different tonight.
 
There were subtle changes Eryn hadn’t noticed before.
 
Usually so nonchalant about things, Brandi was beginning to look resentful and spiteful and at the same time so pitifully insecure.

“Okay,” Eryn said slowly.
 
“He’s yours.
 
I won’t do anything to come between you.”
 
She raised her eyebrows and waited to see if that was what Brandi wanted to hear.

Brandi nodded and sniffled.

Bryce came around the corner and leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets, staring at Eryn.

Oh, God.
 
Not you, too.
 
Eryn could only guess he heard everything and, given the hardness in his eyes, shared the same opinion as Brandi.

Brandi pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and started pushing buttons as she turned and walked past Bryce, leaving the couple to stare at each other.
 

Bryce was accusing her without saying a word.
 
There was no sympathy, no support in his eyes.
 

Frustration squeezed her throat.
 
“Do you really think I had any part of this?”

“I told you I didn’t like him.”

Brandi’s voice filtered in from the next room. “No, it’s just us tonight.
 
They’re busy.
 
No, I
don’t
know what they’re busy with.
 
They’re just busy.
 
Yeah.
 
I’ll meet you outside.”

Brandi appeared behind Bryce, purse in hand.
 
She looked at the two of them still staring at each other.
 
Brandi’s mood had shifted back to happy again.
 
She had gotten what she wanted.
 
She nudged Bryce in the back.

“Hey, lighten up you guys,” she said before turning and walking out.
 
The front door slammed behind her.

Bryce’s stare was unwavering, his eyes smoky beneath dark brows.
 
“So what’s it going to be?”
 
There was a slight edge of anticipation in his voice.

So this was it.
 
She could see in Bryce’s eyes what he expected her to say and she knew what would happen if she didn’t.
 
Of course, he would get his way.

≈

Eryn squinted at the clock on her dresser.
 
Eleven o’clock.
 
She strained through the darkness for the sound that had woken her up.
 
It was the low hum of a motor.
 
Brandi was back, she thought.
 
A car door slammed and the engine cut out.
 
Hushed laughter and voices drifted up to the open window.
 
The creak of another car door announced its opening and closing and then there was silence.
 
When neither car started up again, Eryn groaned inwardly.
 
Looking over to see that Bryce was sleeping, she slid out from under the covers and tiptoed to the window.
 
Brandi’s car was still parked in the driveway where she left it earlier, but now Troy’s truck was parked behind it.
 
In the dim glow of the porch light, Eryn could detect some slight movement in Brandi’s car.
 
The car windows were already steaming up.
 

Eryn curled her lip in disgust.
 
She knew this little display was Brandi’s way of making a point.