Afterthoughts (13 page)

“
After all, he is very
handsome and caring. He’s been a great friend,” she whispered out
loud, daring herself to say the words knowing that she had to keep
the words out of her head to keep them private. She rubbed the tree
bark again, keeping her mind blank.

After a few moments, she walked back
to the picnic table and sat beside of him. Taking his chin in her
hand she kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Thank you for everything
you’ve done for me,” she smiled sweetly at him.

Jay looked deep inside her eyes. She
felt a knot form in her stomach when she realized he wanted to kiss
her. As she ran her thumb along his cheek, he reached out to touch
her face. She quickly drew in a breath as he leaned toward her and
kissed her lightly. His kiss was soft and sweet, barely touching
her lips, arousing every sensation Paige could possibly have.
Breathless, she immediately responded and kissed him more
passionately, causing Jay to moan softly. Jay felt like he would
explode if he couldn’t have her now. They both stopped immediately
as if a gunshot had gone off.

“
Paige, I’m so sorry. I
didn’t mean to,” he tried to say as he fought to regain his
breath.

“
It’s okay Jay,” she tried
to comfort him. “Really.”

“
No, I shouldn’t have …
you are such a great friend … and you have David …”

“
Stop!” she cut him off.
“If I didn’t want you to kiss me, I would not have let you. It’s
okay. We are still friends aren’t we?” she touched his
hand.

“
Yes, definitely,” he said
in a low, soft voice. He knew he was not handling this well but
decided to give up on trying to regain his dignity.

“
Come on, we need to get
back to work,” he took her hand and walked back to the
car.

“
Wait, please,” she
stopped him. “Jay, it’s really okay. Don’t run away from me. We
both got a little carried away.”

“
I know. I’m sorry. I need
to control myself better. I don’t want to take advantage of you,”
he patted her hand as if she were a child.

“
Me either,” she said.
Things now made perfect sense as to why he had been avoiding
her.

After returning to the station, it
took Paige a while to get her bearings and get back to work. She
studied the files and the pictures of Anthony’s crime scene again.
As she was taking in all of the details of the room, she noticed
one picture. Within the photograph she could see a reflection of
herself in the mirror. She was smiling. How strange? She didn’t
remember smiling. Maybe Jay made some offhand comment that struck
her as funny. He was really good at that sometimes and in the
strangest of situations. She shrugged it off. Maybe she was
fighting back the nausea that had been consuming her from the time
she arrived at the Steckler estate that day. Pacing back and forth
in her office, she decided to take another walk and think about the
case.

The street was noisy as cars zoomed
past. Paige walked along the sidewalk and started toward the Heine
Brother’s coffee shop. She felt the cool breeze sweep across her
face and she could feel her cheeks turn red. A strong cup of coffee
could help clear her head. She opened the door and listened to the
bell ring as she approached the counter.

She ordered her coffee and asked for
vanilla flavoring. She added her usual ton of cream and sugar then
sat down at a small table in the corner. Slowly, she picked up the
paper that was on the table to see the picture of David and the
woman. Studying the woman, she tried to figure out if she knew her.
All she could see was the long, straight, blonde hair. She
immediately felt guilty for wondering about her when she had just
kissed Jay. Not being convinced, she kept trying to tell herself
that Jay’s kiss was one of complete friendship and how he just
really cares for her. She justified it by telling herself that it
was because he is just lonely right now and needed something to
make himself feel better. And so was she. There had been enough
emotion between the two of them in the last few months to justify
any feelings they had at that particular moment.

After glancing around the coffee shop,
she took a deep breath and looked at the picture again. Something
seemed familiar about the blonde hair. But then again, how many
women are there with long, straight, blonde hair? She managed to
laugh. It seemed most successful men had one of those blondes on
his hip. Maybe David was the same way. Did he want one now that he
was becoming a success?

“
May I join you?” she
heard a small voice from above her. She looked up to find Junna
standing there.

“
Sure,” Paige smiled at
her. “I hoped I’d see you again. I have a lot of
questions.”

“
I’m sure you do,” Junna
sat across from her as she looked around to see if anyone was
watching. “You have been doing a great job clearing you mind,
Paige. I think you are ready to hear more.”

“
First, I have to know one
thing,” Paige said flatly. “What are your motives?”

Smiling, Junna replied, “I can’t tell
you all of them all just yet. But I will tell you that I truly just
want to help you. I have to help you, Paige. I couldn’t live with
myself if I didn’t.”

Paige looked at her and
believed that she looked genuinely concerned. “
But why? Why would Junna be concerned with me?”
she thought.

“
Because I care about you,
Paige,” she said. “Be careful what you think.”

Paige realized that she had just been
read. She took a drink of her coffee and rubbed her napkin between
her fingertips, feeling the texture. She had to believe her now.
“Okay, go ahead.”

“
There is a lot I need to
tell you. A lot you will not be able to think about. I’m not sure
you will believe me but I have to tell you. So I’ll start with this
…” Junna took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“
Someone wants to hurt
you. They are using you for what they want. Paige,” she hesitated,
“he is the one that took you. He has not let you go.”

Paige felt as if she were hit by a
dump truck. “You know who he is? Tell me!”

“
I can’t,” Junna looked
down at the table. “I just know he has not given you up. He’s
continually reading you.”

“
How do you know this? Are
you working with him?”

“
No …
no!
” Junna pleaded. “You will just
have to trust me. I need to help you.”

“
You are making it
difficult. How can I trust you when you are telling me you know
about my kidnapping and that he is still reading me but you won’t
tell me who he is?”

“
I can’t!” Junna began to
cry. “I just have to tell you how to stop him from controlling you.
I have to show you how to remember. I’m not as strong as he is.
He’d kill me if he even knew I spoke to you.”

“
So you do know who he
is!” Paige’s voice was getting louder.

“
Stop it, Paige. He’ll
know! I don’t even know where he is!” At the sound of the urgency
in her voice, Paige calmed down. Junna was truly
terrified.

“
I’m sorry. Junna, I’ll be
quiet and listen.” Paige reached out and touched her hand. She was
truly concerned.

After dabbing under her eyes with a
napkin, Junna continued. “Do you ever feel like someone is telling
you to calm down and that things will be fine?”

Paige nodded as she remembered
thinking she was going crazy in the shower.

“
Don’t listen to him,
Paige. When you feel like you are being told to do something that
is against your nature to do, fight back. Don’t let him know you
are fighting back. Just clear your mind. Ignore the suggestions. He
is a far better reader than I am. He can not only tap into the
collective conscious, he can control it by adding
suggestions.

When he is reading your thoughts, he
can suggest a thought back to you. He can make you think it is your
decision to do or say anything.

You have to learn the difference. He
can’t control how you feel, only suggest what to think. If you need
to think and reason through something, say it out loud. Your
thoughts then become part of your surroundings and not the
collective conscious. That is what separates the two. He has to be
beside you to overhear you to understand.” Junna smiled a little.
“Yes, I’m telling you to talk to yourself. Just make sure you are
alone when you do.”

Paige sat in silence for a moment.
“How do I know you aren’t doing the same?”

“
That is for you to
believe. I won’t try to make you. I’m not like him.”

Junna stood up to walk away. “I’m here
for you, Paige. I want to help you. Your memories will come back to
you if you block him long enough. He is keeping you from
remembering.”

“
How is he keeping me from
remembering?”

Junna paused and leaned toward her.
“When you start thinking about some things, you start to feel sick
to your stomach don’t you?”

“
Yes.” Paige remembered
all of the nausea.

“
He puts the thought in
your head that you feel sick. That then makes you sick.”

“
How do you know all of
this? How will I find you if I have more questions?”

“
I can’t tell you
everything yet. It’s too big of a risk. I can only give you the
tools you need to fight him. You have to Paige, before it’s too
late,” she started to walk away.

“
Wait, Junna … how will I
find you?” Paige pleaded, not satisfied with the answer.

“
I will find you.” With
that said, she walked out the door.

Paige sighed deeply while she watched
Junna disappear from sight.

As she looked around the coffee shop
again, she spotted Ian out of the corner of her eye. He was sitting
at a small table in the darkest area of the shop, watching her.
When he caught her glance, he looked down and pretended to read the
book he had in front of him. “What are you up to, little man?”
Paige whispered as she stood and walked out of the shop, glancing
back at him as she let the door shut behind her.

Chapter 22

“
Junna! You little bitch!”
he screamed. “I’ll have your head for this!” He paced around the
dark room, knowing he could rant out loud without thinking the
words. “So, you’ve been reading me! All this time, you are a reader
too! I can see Paige thinking about you. You just think you’ve
ruined everything for me.”

“
I’ll get her back. She’s
not strong. She’s learning to block me but she can’t keep that up
for long. No one can,” he smiled. He’d just have to work harder.
After all, he loved a challenge. He knew Paige had doubts about
Junna. He would just have to change strategies. This is not
anything he couldn’t handle. No one is as strong as he. He paced
the floor talking to himself on what to do next. He meditated on
Paige and tried to find her thoughts. He could feel her but
couldn’t understand.

He ranted about Junna. How did she
figure it out? How long had she read him?

He angrily kicked the chair across the
room and it shattered into several pieces. He walked over to it and
picked up the rope. He admired the blood stains that were matted
throughout its length. “I think it’s time to add yours,” he smiled
maliciously and walked out of the door.

Chapter 23

Junna ran home to pack her things,
knowing that she had to go somewhere else, anywhere else and she
knew she couldn’t think ahead about it. He knew where she lived and
it wasn’t safe anymore.

Paige knew too much now. She hurried
around her house, grabbing everything she could stuff in one
suitcase and tried to zip the bag shut. After fighting the zipper
for a few moments, she gave up, held it together and ran for the
door. Fear stopped her cold when she saw the door was open. Had she
left it open when she ran in? She looked around the living room
until she was satisfied that no one came in after her and walked to
the door. Cautiously, she peered outside.

The shrubs looked undisturbed, there
were birds in the yard, and her neighbors were going about their
business with their yard work. Still not convinced that everything
was fine, she slowly walked to her car, looking in all directions
along the way.

Thinking it must be safe; she ran for
the car and threw her bag in the front passenger seat. After
starting her car and squealing down the street, she started to
relax a little. Slowly, she started to catch her breath.

Knowing she was better not to think of
where she was going, she drove on and on. If she drove long enough,
she could find someplace safe and not think about where that was.
She turned on the radio so that she could just listen and clear her
mind. When her favorite song came on, she sang at the top of her
lungs. Trying to do anything she could to not think about where she
was going. After taking several exits onto different expressways,
she finally pulled off onto a side road. She tried not to pay
attention to where the road went and just drove on and
on.

Static from the radio station had
Junna scanning for another one. When she looked up from the radio,
she could see something from her back seat in her rearview mirror.
Terror overtook her as she saw his eyes leering at her. Those cold
gray eyes that were all too familiar.