Aftershocks (40 page)

On Friday I received my acceptance to the University of Michigan in the mail which was bittersweet. I didn’t realy feel like I could celebrate. I caled Wyatt to let him know, and we had a private whoo-hoo party, but that was it. In the back of my mind, I hadn’t ever let myself acknowledge the fact that I’d have to leave Connor to go to Michigan, and it was suddenly weighing on me. When I’d been making plans with Wyatt the year before, Connor hadn’t been in my life. When I’d applied, he’d just been a guy I liked. Now he was my boyfriend, who I loved. Could I realy leave him? Would we do long distance?

When I arrived at his house on Friday afternoon, Connor was antsy.

“She’s keeping it,” he said, as he dropped his cel phone next to him on the bed. Alexis had caled to tel him her news. She said she was coming over so they could figure things out.

Connor immediately put his head in his hands, and the overwhelming emotion he was feeling was apparent. His shoulders shook while I sat next to him and puled him against my chest. I knew he’d been wrestling with whether he wanted Alexis to keep the baby but hadn’t weighed in. He’d let her decide what she wanted to do and would accept her decision – whatever it was.

I knew the reality of the situation had sunk in for him, and he understood that before colege even started, he was going to be someone’s father. To say he was terrified was an understatement. Ironicaly, I also noticed two more colege acceptance letters on his desk, Boston Colege and the University of Michigan. He’d gotten in too, I thought, as my heart sank.

“When did it happen?” I asked, not sure if I could ask things like that. “Do you know when she got pregnant?”

Connor laughed a short, non-humorous laugh. “In early November. Ironicaly, it was the last time we had sex. Fucking figures.” He ran a hand through his curls, pushing them back.

Just then the doorbel rang, and Connor raised his head, the dread settling over him. He wiped his eyes, trying to erase the evidence that he’d been crying before Alexis got to his room. I could hear her coming up the stairs.

Suddenly, there was a knock on his bedroom door and Jordan entered. “Your ex-biatch is here,” he said, and Alexis turned on him.

He was smiling widely at her.

Her appaled gaze shifted to me and Connor. “Are you going to let him talk to me that way, Connor?”

Connor just shrugged.

“You’d better be nice to me, Jordan,” Alexis spat. “I’m not going anywhere.” A wide, evil grin spread across her face.

Next to me I felt Connor tense. “Alexis, don’t. Please.”

“Maybe you should have defended me when the uncle of your unborn child caled me a bitch.”

Connor and I sucked in a colective gasp as we heard Alexis’s words out loud.

“What the fuck is she talking about?” Jordan asked, looking between Alexis and Connor.

“Jordan, language,” Connor admonished him, choosing an odd time reprimand him for something as trivial as cursing when you looked at the grand scheme of what had just happened.

“She’s pregnant?!” Jordan said, his eyes wide as what Alexis had revealed sunk in. “Dad’s gonna kil you.”

Connor gritted his teeth and closed his eyes for a few beats. “I know,” he said, opening his eyes to look at his brother. “Don’t say anything, okay. I’l tel him when I’m ready.”

Jordan threw his hands up in the air. “Yeah, right. Like I’d say anything to him about this.”

I could tel Connor was ready to throttle his brother, so I told him I’d give him and Alexis some time talk and left the room with Jordan, folowing him into his room.

“Do you want to talk about this?” I asked, sitting down on the end of his bed. He sat across from me in his desk chair.

“Are they getting back together because of the baby?” he asked, which I thought was a strange question.

I shook my head. “No, they’re not getting back together.”

“But she’s going to have a baby that’s Connor’s, right?”

I nodded, hating that I was having this conversation.

“So, it’l be like when my parents got divorced. I got to see my mom on weekends and holidays. Wil that be the same? Wil the baby live with us?”

It was understandable that he would think that given his situation.

I shook my head. “I don’t know, J. I think the baby wil probably live with Alexis, but Connor wil get to see it a lot.”

“Is he gonna go away to school?” Jordan asked, wondering the same thing as me.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I think it depends on what Alexis does. Connor wil probably want to go where she does.”

The thought sickened me. I knew Alexis had always wanted to go to Boston Colege, and if she did, Connor would probably folow her. They could both commute from home if they did that.

Suddenly it hit me that no matter what, Alexis would always be in Connor’s life. Regardless of what happened with us, she would be there for at least the next eighteen years, if not longer. Poor Connor.

My mind flitted back to the conversation we’d been having just before she’d come over. She’d gotten pregnant the last time they’d had sex. That was certainly ironic.

“Holy shit!” I said, sitting up straighter, as I counted in my head.

Jordan laughed. “See, I’m not the only one who curses.”

I leapt up from the bed and tore out of Jordan’s room. My hand twisted the knob on Connor’s door forcefuly as I pushed it wide open.

“Excuse me,” Alexis said. “We’re kind of in the middle of an important discussion here.”

Connor looked relieved to see me. He had a painful look on his face. When he registered the look on my face, his changed to one of confusion. My eyes narrowed on Alexis.

“You fucking bitch,” I spat, as I stalked over to her. My open-faced hand connected with her cheek before I could stop myself.

“Abby!” Connor admonished, as he stared at me in awe from his immobile spot on his bed.

“Tel me what you told me before she got here,” I demanded, turning to face him.

Connor looked at me in confusion, as Alexis started to seethe, her non-casted hand held against her face. He couldn’t remember the question I’d asked him.

“Tel me when this baby was conceived,” I said. “What did you tel me?”

“I said it was the time we had sex.”

I shook my head. “No, when?”

“Like the first week of November.”

My eyes narrowed as I looked at Alexis. I could see the fear on her face and knew my assumption was right. “Connor, Alexis was only five weeks pregnant when she told you. There’s no way it’s yours.”

Connor shook his head. “You said you were eight weeks pregnant.” He looked at Alexis in confusion.

“Yeah, wel she told Faith she was five weeks pregnant the day after the accident,” I said, not waiting for Alexis to respond.

“She lied to you,” Jordan said from behind me. I hadn’t realized he’d folowed me to Connor’s room.

Connor was glaring at Alexis. “Is this true?” he asked, and for the first time in a week, his face showed signs of hope, but it was also mixed with fury.

Alexis burst into tears, and with that we al had our answer. She immediately started blubbering about Connor being such an amazing guy and how she wanted him to be that father of her child. She went on and on until Jordan, with his great ability to be blunt, interrupted her.

“Who’s the father?” he asked, and al eyes went to Alexis. Connor, I noticed, was in a relieved daze, but I knew he was as curious as I was.

“Cameron,” she whispered, and neither of us was surprised.

“Cameron Baker,” Jordan said. “That guy’s a douchebag.”

“Jordan, Abby,” Connor said calmly. “I need you to leave. Please give me a minute alone with Alexis.”

I quickly ushered Jordan out of the room upon seeing Connor’s face. I was pretty sure that if he could have gotten out of bed and Alexis hadn’t been pregnant, he would have punched her. From outside in the hal, where we listened to Connor scream at Alexis, it was clear just how pissed he was. After five ful minutes of Connor’s rage raining down on her, his voice louder than I’d ever heard, Alexis burst out of his room with tears streaming down her face.

I slowly made my way back into his room. He was shaking, his face was red and his hands were clenched into fists, but he started to visibly relax when I sat next to him. “It’s not mine. Holy shit, it’s not mine.” His head fel back against his headboard in relief.

“I can’t believe she lied to you.”

Connor shook his head. “I’m fucking pissed at her for doing this to me, but shit, quite honestly, I’m so fucking relieved it’s not mine. I can’t decide how I want to feel. It’s Cameron’s. Jesus. She’s been sleeping with Cameron since before Thanksgiving.”

“Cheating whore,” I said, just because I could.

“Wel, I sort of stopped sleeping with her, so I guess she got lonely.”

I gave him a confused look. “Why did you stop sleeping with her?”

He smiled at me. “Mostly because someone else kissed me and told me to take some time to think about what I wanted. I had a hard time forgetting the girl who gave me that kiss, especialy once I realized how I felt about her.” He leaned over to kiss me, and I could feel the relief he felt in his lips.

“I guess Alexis could sense I was puling away, and she started sleeping with Cameron. I knew we’d always used protection. I knew we couldn’t have been that careless.”

“Poor Cameron,” I said, a sudden stab of empathy for him. “I’ve always thought he was a bit of an ass, but I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.”

“He might be an ass, but he’s also going to be a father,” Connor said, and I could tel how good it felt for him to say that. Hel, it felt great to
hear
him say it.

“Connor, I’m so glad it’s not you. Al I could think was that you’re only eighteen. You have your whole life ahead of you.”

“It’s not mine,” he said again, grinning widely.

“I know,” I said, laughing at him. I was so relieved, I was giddy.

He reached up to hug me. “I love you, baby,” he said, as he buried his face in my neck. I held him close, as he kissed the holow under my ear and a line to my mouth before pressing his lips against mine.

I very gently kissed the cut above his eye before I moved down so I could tuck under his arm and put my head on his chest. I listened to his heart beating strong in his chest.

“What was that for?” he asked.

I smiled. “My kisses have healing power. I’m hoping you’l get better faster if I do that each day.”

He laughed and kissed me once on the lips and once on my forehead before settling back against his pilows. “You know, I would be perfectly happy just to do this for the rest of my life.”

“Me too. This is just fine with me, especialy since I’m not sure I want to have sex anytime soon if that’s okay with you.”

“Hey, no argument here,” he said, laughing lightly. “I’m stil a little freaked out. I don’t want that to be us.”

I laughed. “I completely agree.”

I surveyed my new room in my new apartment, a feeling of apprehension coming over me. This was it. I’d made it. I was officialy a student at the University of Michigan.

So why did I feel so empty al of a sudden?

“Going through Connor withdrawal?” Wyatt asked, appearing the doorway to my room.

I turned around to smile at him. “Maybe,” I said, sheepishly. I hated to admit that I missed Connor already, but I did. We’d spent so much time together lately that I wasn’t sure what do without him right next to me at al times. This would take some getting used to.

“Where do you want this?” Connor asked, suddenly appearing behind Wyatt with a box in his hands.

“Ah, he’s back. Al’s right with the world.” Wyatt sighed a deep, exaggerated sigh.

I stuck my tongue out at his smart-ass comment. “You can put it in the corner, baby,” I said to Connor.

Wyatt just shook his head, grinning as he went back to his room, no doubt to straighten the picture of him and Jeremy at the Eifel Tower that he put on his desk the second he’d unpacked it. He was as bad as I was, so he had little room to talk. He was right though, after four weeks of basicaly living with Connor while we backpacked around Europe with Wyatt and Jeremy, I was suffering from withdrawal. I was so used to curling up against him each night that I wasn’t sure I could go to sleep without him.

I suddenly regretted his decision to get the ful colege experience and wished he would have just moved in with me and Wyatt. At least he wouldn’t be far away. Our apartment was just two miles from his dorm on campus.

Connor’s arms wrapped around me from behind, his lips meeting the curve of my neck, making me shiver. I leaned back against his chest, never tired of being close to him.

“What do you think?” I asked, gazing around the room wondering if I liked the layout of the furniture.

“I think I want to see how comfortable this bed is,” he said, his hands moving down my stomach, slowly, teasingly.

I turned around in his arms and gazed up at him. “You do realize my parents wil be back in half an hour to take us to dinner. Do you realy want to risk my father walking in on us?”

Connor laughed. “I wasn’t talking about that. I need a nap. I’m the one who lifted al the heavy stuff today while you carried pilows.”

“That’s because you’re a strong, strapping, incredibly hot and muscular guy. Heavy lifting is what you were designed for.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I’m also the guy who broke his leg, spent two months in a cast and three months in physical therapy.”

My face fel. I didn’t even think about that. “Does your leg hurt?”

There had been several days in Europe that Connor had been wincing by the time we got back to the hostel. Too much use of his leg that was stil healing was coming back to bite him. I wished he would have told me he was in pain. I would have lifted the heavy stuff for him.

He smiled. “No, I’m just messing with you. I’m good.”

He broke free from me and leapt onto my new bed, not bothering to take his shoes off. He grabbed one of my pilows and scrunched it up under his head, making adorable little noises as he got comfortable. I roled my eyes before lying down next to him.