Authors: Rachel Trautmiller
Something bad had happened and Ariana needed to find the courage to discover what, before guilt ate her alive. It already gnawed at the pit of her stomach like a starved goblin. And seeing that picture with a crude drawing across it didn
’
t help.
The class had been on a field trip to the Mountain Creek Nature Center when one of their chaperones had offered to take a picture. Had encouraged an aloof Paige to join in.
She and Ariana had a few classes together. Had even collaborated on a science project, at the beginning of the school year.
They weren
’
t close friends, but Paige was easy to talk to. Prior to that trip, anyway. And Hunter had mentioned something about seeing her emerging from a heavily wooden area of the center. He
’
d passed it off as nothing out of the norm. And Paige had seemed quiet but fine. So, Ariana had continued with the trip. Not given it another thought.
When the other girl had gotten into a fight a few weeks later, Ariana had been out with the stomach flu. By the time she
’
d come back, Paige had been expelled and had subsequently moved.
Now, Ariana knew it was a lie. She was missing like the girl they
’
d found the other night.
Why else would a cop carry around her diary?
Would things be different if Ariana hadn
’
t been so preoccupied with her friends? Stopped to ask if everything was okay?
She backed away from the door and closed it, careful not to make a peep.
Did the kids at school assume some lie about Ariana was true? That her absence was a direct implication of guilt? She didn
’
t know what was going on behind the school, but she wasn
’
t a part of it. Had only gone back there once, when Mr. Tanner had asked her to take out the trash after a messy run with clay and paint during art class.
Keith Cooke had been near the dumpster, a cigarette hanging from his lips. Had asked if Ariana planned to rat him out. She
’
d rolled her eyes, shot some sarcastic remark in his direction—something so ordinary she didn’t even remember it now. Then she’d thrown her trash away and gone back to class without a word. Not had another thought of the guy or his bad habit.
And the next week at school, the whispers had started.
Like Hunter, would Uncle Robbie believe the rumors being spun? Would her mom get so mad she
’
d start staring into space again? Ignoring them all. Would Amanda rescind her warm friendship and replace it with disappointment? Pick up and abandon them? Leaving Ariana to watch the three most important adults in her life fall apart in quiet stillness.
It had happened to Paige.
They were already worried. How long before it turned to fear that she
’
d actually done the things other kids whispered about? All the things the hateful notes suggested.
She stopped at the window. Darkness covered the surrounding buildings, the streetlights illuminating the parking lot and various shrubbery. A flash of something caught her eye near one of the tall oaks. A blip of something red, flitting in the reflection of the vehicle windshields below.
“What are we staring at?”
The sound of Amanda
’
s voice made Ariana jump. A bleat of high-pitched panic rushed through her body like a centipede on drugs. The door was still closed. The dresser no further from the wall than when she
’
d peaked out.
Amanda crossed her arms over her chest. Stared out the window. “You didn
’
t think that would keep us out, did you?”
Crap. Soon her mom and Robbie would be in here, too. Her uncle would continue his questionnaire blast while her mom had that honey-let
’
s-talk-face firmly in place. Nobody ever mentioned that being a teenager was as confusing as quantum physics.
What would Amanda do?
“Nice work with the dresser.”
What? A breath whooshed from Ariana
’
s lungs. The older woman shot her a smirk. Was always doing things like that. Small gestures that made her feel like their lives weren
’
t complete chaos.
“That
’
s what I would say if I were an irresponsible adult. Two hours is a nice hold-out. Shows you
’
re serious. Or you know you
’
re in trouble.” She paused, the seconds spreading out like ink on a white rug. Slow, but settling deep, never to be removed.
She swallowed. Took a short breath. “Yeah.” What was she supposed to say? That she wasn
’
t holding out, but terrified of the outcome?
Amanda
’
s gaze settled on her then, penetrating. No humor. No quips. Resolute probing digging for answers buried deep. “Are you in trouble?”
Ariana tucked her hands in her back pockets. Tried hard not to squirm. “I don
’
t think so.”
When my mom came out of the principal
’
s office I could tell she didn
’
t want to believe whatever they
’
d said, but she did. The truth sat like a shiny, red convertible in a parking lot full of rusty metal, on her face.
Would Amanda take her word over that of another adult? Or even another kid?
“You
’
ve got everyone worried about you.”
“Seemed more like they were mad.” As if they
’
d already heard a portion of the story and chosen to accept it.
The thought twisted her gut.
“Frustrated is a better word. So, what
’
s going on, Ariana?”
“Are you and Uncle Robbie getting back together?” The words popped out before she could stop them, desperation only the kid of divorced parents could embody. Except, she
’
d lost her dad to death, not irreconcilable differences and fights. And she
’
d almost lost her mom the same way.
While her brain knew her mom hadn
’
t forfeited the battle with death, her heart didn
’
t believe she
’
d stick around long enough, mentally.
“Nice stall tactic.” Amanda shook her head. “Not gonna work.”
“Why not? Seems to work for you. Just pick up and leave when the road gets a little hard. Place everything on hold.”
Shock rippled across Amanda
’
s face.
It pierced right through Ariana
’
s heart. Sent a prick of tears to her eyes. Reminded her of all the mean things her mom had said to the other woman and never apologized for. “I
’
m sorry.” The words squeezed past the growing lump in her throat. “I-I shouldn
’
t have said that.”
Amanda turned and braced herself on the windowsill and leaned against it. “You
’
re mad. I get it. No need to be sorry, kid.” Her eyes flicked to her from the floor. “For the record, it wasn’t a stall tactic, but it was a bad snap assessment.” A hand played with the chain around her neck—the one with the identical pendant Ariana wore and a ring. “It
’
s sort of been a rough road the last few years, huh?”
Ariana let out a breath. Leaned next to the older woman, her back against the wall. She
’
d forgotten how easy Amanda made things, sometimes. “We missed you.
I
missed you. That
’
s what I should have said.”
One of the other woman
’
s eyebrows raised higher than the other on her forehead. She crossed her arms. “You sure you
’
re only thirteen? I haven
’
t heard adults apologize that well.”
A giggle escaped, even though she tried hard to stop it. Didn
’
t like how young the noise made her sound. Both Hunter and Kate used to tease her about it. And now they teased her about other things. Kate did, anyway. Words aimed at the top chair in a popularity contest, in which, she was at the bottom. “My mom didn
’
t mean all those things she said.” Even to her own ears, the words were hollow. Ariana could only hope it was true. And that her mom hadn’t done all the things she’d always preached were wrong, on purpose.
Amanda patted Ariana
’
s back and then squeezed her in a side hug. “Don
’
t worry about it. She
’
s been angry, too. And everybody deals with stuff differently. Sometimes with maturity and other times with half a brain, myself included. Talking to each other is always a good thing.”
Maybe Amanda wouldn
’
t panic. She hadn
’
t stalked her door like her mom and uncle.
“You gonna tell me what
’
s going on at school?”
Ariana sobered. Fear still needled at her gut. Things were only starting to get better. She didn’t want to mess with it. “You and Uncle Robbie should go to Vegas and get married like Mr. Jordan and Miss McKenna did.”
“They
’
re already married.”
What? Ariana’s heart hammered in her chest.
Her mom scooted between the door and dresser. When she reached the end, she moved the piece of furniture further to the side. “Now, explain this picture, young lady.” She held the glossy evidence in question, oblivious to the shock highlighting Amanda
’
s face.
Or the thundercloud moving across her uncle
’
s as he stood in the doorway, phone in hand.
___
AMANDA HADN
’
T HEARD right. It was the only answer that made sense. Lilly had said something else and her brain had chosen to hear the most random sentence on earth. For them.
Given their history, random probably wasn
’
t the best word. Her gaze shot to Robinson as he maneuvered between the wall and dresser. Avoided direct eye contact with her.
Her heart started pounding. In the kind of way that left her hoping and curious and wishing the man in the room would say something. Clarify Lilly
’
s words. Or discredit them.
“Detective Davis has been blowing up your phone.” Judging from the shuttered expression on his face—as if he
’
d sucked every ounce of emotion inside himself—Amanda didn
’
t have hearing issues. He padded closer and handed over the phone. Angry eyes flicked to his sister.
Oh, boy. Robinson reactor meltdown, imminent. Danger zone, one near-estranged sister.
Ariana hugged herself. “Mom, what do you mean they
’
re married?”
Yeah, Amanda would like to know, too, meltdown or not. And then they’d deal with Ariana.
Lilly
’
s extended hand dropped to her side. Her dark brows crinkled together on her forehead. And then panic bloomed on her face. “I said that out loud?” As if she could take the last five minutes back, her free hand went to her mouth.
“Yeah.” Robinson gave a terse nod. “You did. But, hey, you did a better job than I was doing of it.” He didn
’
t wait for a response, but exited the room.
Holy crap. All the blood in Amanda
’
s body whooshed inside her head. She was dreaming. That was it. She
’
d fallen asleep at her desk or on the couch. In her car.
Lilly opened her mouth, then shut it. What was the other woman supposed to say? That this current event wasn
’
t her fault? She hadn
’
t hidden the information. Robinson had, but they wouldn
’
t be here at all if not for Lilly
’
s outbursts. Amanda’s subsequent departure.
Maybe they would have taken the honeymoon. Had some time for the two of them before reality crashed back in with solid punches.
She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. None of it mattered. Done and over. Except for the married part. That was far from over.
Beside her, Ariana picked at one of her cuticles, her eyes cast toward the floor. Sure, this wasn
’
t what she saw when she envisioned the future, but this was her family. And she
’
d been taught to fight for it. Not duck and dodge. No matter how hard the circumstances.
She
’
d meant her vows. Felt the significance of her
‘
I do
’
all the way to her soul. It hadn
’
t stopped her from distancing herself when she
’
d thought it was best. What did that say about her?