After the Storm (37 page)

“Get to the airport so we can get the fuck out of here,” Sam said, putting his hand on Donovan’s shoulder. “The jet is fueled and ready to go. Nathan, Joe and Skylar will ride with you and Ethan. We’ll be on your six. Get her on the plane and let’s get the fuck home.”

CHAPTER 42

THEY
were in the air an hour later, and Donovan sat holding Eve, cradling her in his arms. He talked to her in soothing tones, telling her of his love for her, that she was safe now. That they were going home. That Travis and Cammie were all right.

The minute they’d arrived at the airfield, Travis had been distraught over Eve’s condition. Relieved that she was alive, but then immediately devastated when he learned of what she’d been subjected to.

Donovan instructed Nathan to put Travis in the cockpit with him as a distraction. Perhaps Eve needed the familiarity of family. But Travis was a hot mess and Donovan worried that it would only make things worse for Eve. Not that she seemed remotely aware of her surroundings. But he wanted—needed—this time with her alone without having to comfort Travis as well. Nathan would take care of him.

Joe entered the lounging area of the jet while the rest of the team stayed in the rows between the cockpit and the area that had the couch and the two armchairs. He took a seat opposite Donovan and glanced up at his older brother, sympathy and understanding brimming in his eyes.

“Look, I know I can’t say I know how you feel,” Joe began. “I haven’t been in love. I’m the only unattached brother, so I won’t insult you by saying shit like I understand what you’re going through. But I’ve seen it with every single one of you. I’ve been there when the worst has happened. She’ll get through this, man. She’s strong. She’s a fighter.”

“But she thinks I betrayed her,” Donovan said painfully. “What reason does she have to snap out of it, to even respond to the man she believes in her heart and soul betrayed her, used her and lied to her? Look at her, man. She’s gone. She’s not here. She’s checked out and I don’t know if it’s the meds they forced on her or if she’s just checked out because her reality doesn’t bear living.”

“Remember how Shea was when we found her,” Joe said gently. “Remember how out of it she was. How worried Nathan was that he’d lost her. That he’d never get her back. All Shea needed was time and his love. Our love. The support of her family. Our family. Eve needs that too. She’ll get there, Van. She just needs you to surround her with your love. She needs to know you love her and that you’d never betray her. She’ll pull out of this. Maren has already been called in and is waiting. She’ll see what’s to be done and if she needs more than Maren can provide. Whatever it is, we’ll get it for her. With you and our family behind her, and with Cammie and Travis with her and Walt being out of the picture, she’ll pull through this. She just needs time. Just like Shea needed time. But she’ll get there. I believe that to my soul. I wouldn’t just say shit to pacify you.”

“I can’t bear the thought of her thinking—knowing—that I did this to her,” Donovan said hoarsely. “I’ll never love another woman the way I love Eve. She’s it for me, man. The one. I knew it from the first day I met her. And I should have been clearer. I should have laid it out to her, but I thought we had time. I was arrogant and convinced that I’d take Walt out, that it would be easy. That my plan to draw him out was going to be a piece of cake. I was so wrapped up in what I wanted that I didn’t consider any other possibility but it going the way I wanted. And Eve paid for that. I should have been up front with her from the start. I was trying to shield her, and in doing so I made her believe that I threw her under the bus. All that shit about my weakness for women and children and especially children. Jesus, even I can see how bad that looks, how bad it sounds. I can understand why Eve thought what she thought because my entire family had recited those damning words for the world to hear. How must Eve have felt every time someone tagged on the
especially children
, as though she were some afterthought. Not as important as those kids when she’s the heart and soul of it all.”

“Stop torturing yourself,” Joe said. “It’s not doing you or her any good. Save it, man. Wrap her up in your love and support. Bring her home to Cammie and Travis. She’ll pull through this. We won’t entertain any other option. And you damn well know the Kellys are a stubborn, tenacious, overbearing lot and once we set our minds to something, come hell or high water, we’re going to make it happen. She’s family. She’s one of us. And there’s no way in hell any of us are giving up on her.”

Donovan smiled, some of the agony easing. Just a bit.

“It’s a hell of a note when my baby brother is kicking my dumb ass,” Donovan muttered.

Joe grinned. “I’m savoring it. It may never happen again.”

“Thanks,” Donovan said sincerely. “I’m glad you and Nathan are out of the army and working with us. We weren’t complete until you two joined. Now we’re whole.”

A shadow passed through Joe’s eyes, and Donovan knew he was remembering how close they came to losing Nathan. Joe’s twin.

“Just remember that I felt what Shea felt. That I had the same link to her that Nathan did. I saw what she saw, felt what she felt. And she went through hell. She was tortured and when we found her, she was a lifeless shell of her former self. But she came around, and so will Eve. Just give her time. If all they did was keep her drugged, then that’s something that can be overcome.”

Donovan gently thumbed the shadow of a bruise on Eve’s mouth and the dried blood at her lip. “Someone hit her. And if they hit her once, who’s to say they didn’t hurt her in other ways? We may never know what she endured. Even if she comes around, she may never remember all that happened to her.”

“Maybe that’s for the best,” Joe said quietly. “Some things are better left unremembered. All she needs to know is that she’s loved and she’s safe. The past doesn’t matter any longer.”

Donovan nodded. “You’re right. I know you’re right. But goddamn it, I want to shed the blood of every single motherfucker who had a part in doing this to her. And to leave it all to Resnick? It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.”

“And the most selfless,” Joe said. “You walked away because that’s what Eve needed. She needs you. And so instead of getting revenge, you walked away because Eve needed you. You did the right thing, Van. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

Donovan gathered Eve close in his arms, closing his eyes as he pressed his lips to her forehead.

“Come back to me,” he whispered. “Come back to me so I can tell you I love you. So I can tell you I love you every single day of our lives from this point forward.”

CHAPTER 43

THE
moment Donovan walked into his home, carrying Eve and flanked by Travis, who had hovered the moment they exited the plane, Cammie launched herself from Sophie’s lap where they’d been sitting on the sofa and ran toward Donovan and Travis.

Travis immediately scooped her up, hugging her fiercely, but Cammie’s gaze was fixed on Eve, her eyes rounded in fear.

“Evie?” Cammie whispered. “What’s wrong with Evie?”

She glanced at Donovan, tears filling her big eyes.

“She’s okay, sweetheart,” Donovan said, hoping God forgave that lie. “She’s just sleeping. She’s very, very tired and we must let her rest.”

Maren walked forward, her forehead creased in concern.

“Not here,” Donovan said in a low voice. “I’ll take her in the bedroom.”

As he spoke, he glanced toward Sophie, sending her a silent message to distract Cammie.

“Stay here with Cammie,” Donovan said to Travis. “She needs the reassurance. I know you’re worried about Eve, but Maren will see to her and I’ll let you know the moment anything changes.”

Travis didn’t look happy with the dictate, but he didn’t argue. Instead he turned on a bright smile for Cammie.

“I missed you, little bit. How about we go play with Cece and her toys?”

Cammie looked doubtful, but at Donovan’s urging, she complied and slid from Travis’s grasp only to grab his hand and tug him toward the makeshift play area Sophie had constructed for the girls.

Donovan quickly carried Eve into his bedroom and gently laid her on the bed. Her eyes were closed now, where before they’d remained open and vacant. Lifeless. Utterly lifeless. But now she slept, and he found more comfort in that, that perhaps she was at peace for a few moments at least, than for her to be awake and unaware, in some private hell that only she could feel.

He’d take it from her in a heartbeat. He’d take her pain, her suffering, her grief and anger and he’d shoulder it all if only he could have her back. Whole. The Eve he knew and had grown to love more fiercely than he’d imagined ever being able to love a woman.

He knew love existed. He knew it was a precious thing indeed. He saw how his brothers and his team leaders were with their wives. But did they feel the all-consuming emotion that Donovan felt? Could what he felt possibly compare to what his brothers shared with their wives? He found it hard to believe, but he supposed his brothers would argue that point. They’d all take on whatever hurts their wives suffered. They’d die for them with no hesitation. There was no sacrifice too large or too difficult to make for them.

Love was a multifaceted, painful, joyful, fulfilling and frightening-as-hell thing.

It made a man vulnerable. It opened him up to unimaginable hurts and agony. But it also gifted him with something more powerful than anything else in the world. The love of a woman was the most precious gift a man would ever receive. And Donovan would never take it for granted. If he was able to win Eve back, win her trust and her love, he’d treasure it forever. And he’d never give her cause to doubt him again. If it took the rest of his life, he would make up the hurt he’d caused her.

Maren was reading over the medical reports they had taken from the hospital, her frown deepening the more she read. Then she tossed aside the papers in disgust and went to Eve’s bedside, doing a thorough examination. She gently pried open Eve’s eyes and shone a penlight, checking her pupils. Then she took her vitals, listened to her respirations, counting them silently, her lips moving, the only sign that she was keeping count.

When she finished she sighed and turned to Donovan.

“They’ve turned her into a vegetable,” she said, her eyes shiny with tears. And hatred. “Skylar told me of the journal that was found in the cabin and Walt’s entry that he planned to punish Eve if she resisted his advances. If she refused his plans for her. In an odd way, he found the idea of forcing himself on her repugnant. The asshole thought Eve should feel honored that Walt wanted her in his bed, as his mistress. So if she resisted, and it’s obvious that she did, he planned to institutionalize her for a time. Keep her heavily sedated and then he’d visit after she had time to come off the medication and be lucid enough to choose. Continued existence as a lifeless vegetable in restraints. Or agree to his demands to share his bed and allow him to control every aspect of her life.”

“He was deranged,” Donovan bit out. He was seething with fury, but at the same time he was grateful that she hadn’t been sexually abused. Not that the abuse she’d endured was somehow better. But at least she hadn’t been physically harmed.

“In some ways this is worse than if he’d raped her,” Maren said quietly, accurately reading Donovan’s thoughts. “He didn’t rape her body, but he very much raped her mind. He robbed her of her choices, her sanity. He stripped her of everything. Her self-worth, her very being. I truly believe she may well have recovered sooner from a physical rape than she will from this kind of rape.”

“Will she recover?” Donovan asked hoarsely. “What did they give her, Maren? I need the truth here. Don’t go easy. I need to know. Did they damage her mind permanently? Will she ever be normal again?”

“Sit down,” Maren said gently, pulling at Donovan’s arm until he sat in the chair by the bed.

“They kept her heavily drugged, from what I’ve been able to ascertain, and believe me when I say this was no legitimate medical facility so the records are spotty at best and vague. They gave her psychotropic drugs at regular intervals. Far too regular. Four times daily, and she was already heavily drugged when she arrived. Some medications like Thorazine have a longer half-life, and it could take days to fully rid her body of its effects. If we got lucky and they gave her a drug with a shorter half-life, it’s possible she’ll come around sooner. There’s simply no way to know.”

She paused as if to let her diagnosis settle in. Then she continued, her eyes filled with sympathy as she stared at Donovan. She reached for his hand, squeezing it, offering comfort.

“There’s also the factor that she may not want to come back. That maybe she’s retreated to a place where she feels no pain, no betrayal.”

Donovan flinched, and the blood drained from his face.

“I don’t say this to hurt you,” she said. “But it has to be acknowledged. She thinks you betrayed her. She thinks that you don’t love her and that your only concern is for Travis and Cammie. In a way, the drugs were probably a blessing to her because it numbed her. She isn’t feeling anything. She doesn’t know anything. She isn’t cognizant of her surroundings and she likely welcomes that. Her mind is protecting her from her hurt and her very real fear of her stepfather and what he’ll eventually do to her.”

“What can I do?” Donovan asked helplessly.

Tears burned the edges of his eyes. He blinked and it was like rubbing sand in his eyes. His emotions were raw. His heart was shattered. It was his fault Eve was like this. It was his fault this had happened. If only he’d done things differently. If only he hadn’t been so determined to shield her. He’d made the biggest mistake of his life by not trusting in her. He didn’t deserve her trust because he hadn’t offered it in return. He hadn’t wanted her to know anything of his plans. Stupidly, he’d thought he could fix the problem with her none the wiser and then present her with a fait accompli and they’d live happily ever after.

He, the smart one, the supposed brains of the entire operation.

He was the biggest dumbass in the world. He’d been thinking with his heart instead of using his greatest asset. Not his physical strength. Not his training. His intelligence. His mind. And Eve had paid dearly for his fuckup.

“You can’t torture yourself, Van,” Maren said quietly. “It does neither you nor her any good. You have to be strong for her. You have to make her want to come back. You have to convince her that you love her, that you didn’t betray her. And you have to be patient and wait for as long as it takes for her to want to crawl out of the hole she’s buried herself in. Because there, she’s safe. Nothing can hurt her. But the real world? That can destroy her and she well knows it.”

“So I just sit here and do nothing,” Donovan said bitterly.

“No,” Maren refuted. “You talk to her. Surround her with her family. You, Travis, and Cammie. Be persistent. Don’t allow her to crawl back into that shell once the medication starts to wear off and she becomes more aware of her surroundings. Then more than ever is when you have to press. Because when the medication wears off and she doesn’t have that balm, she’ll retreat in other ways. The mind is a very intricate thing and it will go to great lengths to protect itself. If you allow it, she’ll find a way to retreat even without the medication. So you surround her with your love. With Cammie and Travis’s love. Present a united front. Show her that you’re family. The four of you. And don’t treat her gently, Van. I know your instinct will be to baby her. You won’t want to cause her any distress. You’ll back off at the first sign that she’s upset. But you can’t do that. You have to show her tough love and bully her if that’s what it takes.”

“And make her hate me more than she already does,” Donovan said bleakly.

“No. You show her how very much you love her by not letting her go.”

Donovan scrubbed a hand through his hair and Maren hugged him tightly.

“She’ll get through this, Van. Just like Shea did. Nathan went through hell. He wondered a hundred times during the time Shea was recovering if he’d ever get her back. But love did it. His love. He didn’t give up, and neither will you. And just like Shea found her way back to Nathan, so too will Eve find her way back to you and Travis and Cammie. With three people who love her as much as y’all do, how can she not? Not to mention the rest of us. We’re a force to be reckoned with, as Shea can attest,” she added with a laugh. Then her expression grew more serious. “I love you dearly, Van. I love you all. Even before I married Steele, you were my family even though I have a family of my own whom I love fiercely. I will be here if you need me. All you have to do is call. No matter what time, day or night. Steele and I both will be here. I hope you know that.”

Donovan hugged her back, burying his face in her hair and just holding on as grief washed through him. She squeezed back hard, as if she knew just how tenuous his grip on his control was.

“I love you too,” Donovan said gruffly. “And thank you, Maren. It seems you’ve had a hand in saving all our asses at one time or another, but this is different. This is my life. More important than any mission I’ve ever gone on or ever will.”

She smiled and cupped his jaw as she drew away. “Be strong for her, Van. And tough. Don’t baby her. Just love her and be there when she finally breaks. Because she will break. It’ll get worse before it gets better. When the medication wears off and she comes back to her reality and remembers everything, she’ll break and you’ll have to be here to pick up the pieces and help her through it by loving her and convincing her of that love.”

“Thanks,” Donovan said again.

Maren walked away and Donovan turned his attention back to Eve’s bedside where she slept, seemingly peaceful. But he knew that underneath it all, nightmares lurked. And sleep was the only thing keeping hell at bay.