After the Rain (10 page)

This second semester has been bittersweet. Everything is going great with Beau and me. I was finally able to make some girlfriends I could talk to about things, but then Emery unexpectedly left. She’d started dating Drake not long after the party that Beau and Cory threw in their apartment. They’d had their ups and downs, but I think that’s normal when two passionate people come together.

I’d walked into our dorm room one Friday, not too long after my meltdown on the anniversary of Asher’s death, and found her packing a bag. She didn’t have a trip planned that I was aware of, and the sadness in her eyes told me she hadn’t had a good day.

I throw my backpack on my bed and begin to unlace my tennis shoes. I don’t notice at first, but Emery is throwing clothes into a duffel bag and when she faces me, her cheeks are covered in tear stains. She had told me she was visiting Drake today, and I can only imagine that he’s the cause of all this.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” I ask, closing the distance between us.

She stops for a few seconds before picking up some more clothes. “I need to go home this weekend.”

“Did something happen?”

“Of course something happened, but I knew it would. You warned me, but I didn’t listen.” Her shoulders shake with sobs as she covers her face with her hands.

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I say, “What did he do? I swear to God if he hurt you, I’m going to kick his ass.”

“He did exactly what I was afraid he’d do.” She pauses, shaking her head. “You know, I never completely opened myself up to my high school boyfriend because I knew it wouldn’t last. I was going to college, and he didn’t have any dreams about getting out of our small town. Drake’s different. He has dreams, and he keeps me honest. I never thought he’d be the one to break my heart like this. He lied to me.”

“What do you mean?”

She wiggles from my hold and goes back to throwing more clothes into her bag. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m going to go home this weekend and when I get back, we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” I reply, giving her some space. I hate seeing her like this, but I’m not surprised that Drake caused it. The two of them are so stubborn; I knew their relationship wouldn’t be easy.

I just hoped for her sake it wouldn’t be like this.

Emery never came back after that weekend, and when I finally found out why, it took everything I had not to go after Drake. He hurt her, and I think he knew it because he left school, too. Both of their lives are changed forever because of what happened to him, what happened to her, and what they’re trying to face without the support of each other.

And she’s making me keep a secret … one that I don’t think she should be holding on to. I’m hoping she gets things figured out soon because it’s not something she should be carrying on her own. Maybe someday things will fall into place for her, and she’ll be able to come back to school. I’m really missing her.

As I pack a picture of the three of us together from a few months ago, I hear my phone ring in my purse. I fall back onto my bed and grab it, quickly answering before it goes to voicemail.

“Hello.”

“Hey, beautiful, are you ready for me?” It’s the sexy, deep tone Beau saves just for me.

“I’m always ready for you.”

He laughs at my insinuation—that’s really sexy, too. “Your first year of college really changed you from my sweet, innocent Kate to my naughty little tigress. I can’t wait to see what next year will do to you.”

Rolling my eyes, I flip onto my back. “I don’t know if you’ll be able to handle what next year does to me, Beau.”

“Don’t worry about me. I can handle anything.” He’s not lying when he says that. There’s nothing I can really throw at him that will be worse than he’s already dealt with.

“Are you on your way over?” I ask, staring up at the dorm room ceiling. Surprisingly, this is the first time I’ve paid much attention to it, but I’m glad; it’s just a bunch of square tiles with a few coated in water stains.

“Yeah, I’m just going to say goodbye to Cory, and then I’ll be there. Do you need me to bring anything?”

“If you have an extra box, I could use it.”

“I’ll see what I can do. See you in a little bit,” he says.

“Okay. I’ll be lying in bed thinking about you,” I tease running a few strands of hair between my fingers.

He groans into the phone, which makes me grin. “You’re in trouble, Kate.”

He doesn’t wait for my response before hanging up the phone. I’m very excited to see what kind of trouble he means.

I lie on top of the navy blue comforter and glance around the brightly lit room. Little pieces of Emery still linger; she let me keep a few pictures she brought from home. They’re black and whites of New York City. She wants to live there after she gets out of school, and I hope that’s something she can still make her reality. I get up from the bed and start taking them down one by one.

A knock at the door halts my thoughts. As I open it, I find Rachel’s smiling face looking back at me. “Hey, I thought you left already,” I say, returning her smile.

“It’s nice to see you, too,” she teases, walking past me.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Have you heard from Emery? I tried to call her a few days ago, but she hasn’t returned it yet.”

I sigh, remembering the last conversation I had with Emery. Her life’s been flipped upside down, a complete one-eighty from where she thought she was going at the beginning of the school year. “I talked to her a couple days ago. I guess he came to see her last week out of the blue, and it didn’t go well at all. She didn’t have much time to talk because she had to get to work so I didn’t get the whole story. Maybe we should go visit her this summer to cheer her up.”

“I’m in. Just let me know when.” She stops, looking over at Emery’s empty bed. “If I ever see that asshole again, I’m going to kill him.”

“That’s harsh,” I say, thinking back to that day in January when Emery’s heart was ripped from her chest, stomped on, and thrown against the wall. Maybe he deserves it …

“It’s nothing compared to what he did to her.” She’s right, but there’s nothing we can do to him that will fix Emery’s problems.

I watch as she glances around the bare room with a hint of sadness in her eyes. “It might sound silly, but I’m really going to miss you this summer. I mean, like, really miss you.”

I’m going to miss her, too. Rachel’s the complete opposite of what I expected when I first met her. I’d unfairly lumped her in with every other girl our age who’d done me wrong, but Rachel’s always there when I need her.

“Hey, you can come visit, or I can come visit you. And you know I’m going to call you at least three times a day.”

“I’d like that.” Her smile returns, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Are you okay?” It always seems like everything is perfect with her, but underneath it all, I see her unraveling.

She studies me for a second before speaking. “I don’t know. Cory’s been distant, and I know going back home is just going to compound our problems. There’s no where to hide in a small town, but I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that.”

A few months ago, I told her everything. It was my way engraving our friendship in stone … I let her in to my life completely. “Have you talked to him about it?”

She shrugs. “It’s hard to talk to Cory about this kind of stuff. He doesn’t take anything too seriously, you know?”

“I know, but if it’s bothering you this much, you should try.”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right, but I think a part of me is scared about what he’ll say.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Maybe his feelings toward me have changed. Maybe he’s just as scared as I am to not be together. He’s all I know.”

“Do you think you’re holding on to something that isn’t there anymore?” It escapes my lips before I even have time to think about it.

Rachel’s the best person to go to when I need relationship advice. I just wish she would put her advice to work for herself. I think she’s clutching what used to be with Cory, and she deserves so much more than that. I’m hoping the summer will give her a chance to re-evaluate, and she can start over fresh in the fall. I like Cory, but I don’t think he’s the one for Rachel. She deserves someone who treats her better; I think she loves him, but she’s afraid that if she lets him go, she’ll never find that with someone else.

“Are you guys driving home together?” I ask.

“I’m going to follow him. He should be ready to leave soon, I hope.”

Pulling her into a hug, I whisper, “Let me know if you need anything, okay? I’m here for you.”

“Thank you. Who knows … maybe it’s all in my head and spending some extra time together this summer will fix it.”

I squeeze her tightly without replying. Her problems aren’t going to go away on their own, but she needs to figure that out for herself.

The door opens suddenly, and Beau walks in. He doesn’t bother knocking anymore; I gave him a key months ago, after Emery left.

Rachel pulls back. “I should get going. Cory’s probably waiting for me.”

“Call me when you get home, okay?”

“I will. Drive safe.” She walks toward the door, turning around before she opens it. “Take care of her, Beau.”

He winks. “You don’t have to worry about Kate when she’s with me.”

Rachel’s lips curl up, genuinely this time. “Yeah, I know.” She waves. “I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“Bye,” we say simultaneously. It already feels like I’ve lost a part of myself when she disappears from view, but it’s only temporary. Rachel’s only a phone call away, and I’ll see her again soon.

Some of the weight on my chest eases as I glance over and see Beau’s playful expression. It tells me he’s happy that we’re alone and promises of some fun that is yet to come.

“Hey.” I smile, waiting for him to make the first move.

His eyes do all the talking as he steps toward me and puts his hands behind my thighs to lift me up. I have no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. “Are you ready for your punishment?” he whispers in my ear. His breath against my skin causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up.

“Yes. I’ve been waiting for almost thirty minutes,” I say breathlessly.

He backs me against the wall and dips his head to my neck, running his tongue against my skin. One of his hands is braced against the wall while the other caresses my thigh. “I think you’re the only person I know who would move in a dress. I love that you’re making things so easy for me.”

I look down at my emerald green sundress and smile. “Maybe I planned it that way.”

His tongue finds my skin again until his mouth is right under my ear. “Let’s see if your little plan worked then.”

I nod, ready for whatever. His hard length is pressed against me, making it almost impossible to hold onto my self-control. Beau and I did soft and sweet for a while until we got to the point where I was more comfortable with our sexual relationship. One night, I could sense his alpha male boiling to the surface, but he kept holding back. When I asked him to let go, he was hesitant, but it ended up being some of the best sex we’ve ever had.

It’s all about achieving a balance. Sometimes we need to feel the sweet, loving emotions that come to the surface when our bodies connect, but other times, we just need to feel the raw, uncensored passion that exists between us.

He moves my panties to the side and slowly enters me with two fingers. “God, Kate, you’re already wet.”

“I was wet talking to you on the phone,” I say before kissing him hard on the lips.

It doesn’t take much before I feel my orgasm building, but before my body completely lets go, he pulls his fingers from my body and frees himself from his shorts. He slowly pushes into me, and after only a few thrusts, my body squeezes him over and over. One of the hardest things I’ve had to do this year is have sex in my dorm room without screaming.

He makes it almost impossible as he moves in and out of me while his mouth explores every exposed part of my upper body. My body starts to build again as he speeds up his motions. He’s close, and I’m going to try to hold on so I can come right along with him. I’ve learned not to close my eyes; we always do this together.

“You feel so fucking good,” he growls in my ear. “So good, Kate.”

I feel myself coming hard and fast, causing me to bury my head in his neck. Beau comes with me, groaning as his head rests against the wall behind me. Our hearts beat between us saying things that words couldn’t right now. When he finally stands back, looking down at me, his eyes say just as much.

“Do you know how much I love you?” he whispers.

I nod, placing my palm on his cheek.

He wraps his fingers around my wrist, halting any further movement. “No, do you know how much I really love you?” he asks. The look on his face is one I’ll never forget. At that moment I know … he doesn’t have to say anything more. “I love you more than I love life, because if it weren’t for you, there wouldn’t be as much in it for me.”

Reaching my hand behind his neck, I bring his lips down to mine. “I love you more.”

“Never,” he whispers, kissing me again until my lips are swollen and numb.

I guess it’s a good sign when the only thing we have to fight about is who loves the other more.