After All (9 page)

Brian's head came up sharply. “Yeah,
sure it does. Like the stunts he pulled in college. Using the money
Dad was sending for tuition and books to party non-stop. It wasn't
until the end of the second semester that we found out he wasn't
even enrolled.”

Michelle looked away. “Well he
shouldn't have--”

“
Oh, and the time he took
off for a fun filled week in Jamaica with a young lady, leaving
behind her very large, jealous fiancé. Who was it convinced Dad to
give him money for the trip because Dom said he was going to an
academic conference in San Francisco? Me, that's who. Who saved his
butt from getting beaten by that seven foot tall psycho? Me, that's
who.”

“
Listen, Brian, I know
you've tried but--”

Brian cut in again. “As a matter of
fact, Dad probably wouldn't listen to me anyway considering my
track record of being such a sucker for the little con artist.”He
shook his head.

“
Come on, all that happened
a long time ago. Dominic says he's willing to settle
down.”

“
Then if he's so grown up,
why isn't he here speaking for himself?”Brian crossed his arms over
his chest.

“
Now that you mention it,
he's outside now. He didn't want to come, or for me to try talking
to you either.”Michelle jumped to her feet and went to the door as
she spoke.”Dom, come in.”Michelle pulled him into the
room.

“
Hey, big bro. What's up?”
Dominic had their mother's facial features but with a masculine cut
to the planes of his face. Where Brian had the rough handsomeness
of Thomas, Dominic had the boyish good looks that attracted all
ages of women.

“
Hi.”Brian did not return
his smile.

“
This wasn't my idea. Before
I knew it, we were here.”Dominic, no longer smiling, glared at
him.

“
Look, don't you two start
arguing. Brian, Dominic just wants Dad to give him a job. He's
willing to work his way up from the bottom. Right,
Dominic?”Michelle nudged him.

“
Sure.”Dominic stared at the
floor.

“
Then you go to him,
Dominic. Stand up to him and show him you're ready to be a man,”
Brian said.

“
I tried. He told me to go
out and find a job on my own. If I could get and keep one for at
least a year, he'd reconsider. He didn't even offer to help,”
Dominic complained.

“
Sounds like a plan to
me.”Brian looked from him to Michelle.

“
But Brian--”Michelle
stamped her foot.

“
No. Michelle, I'm won't
baby him.”

“
To hell with it then,
Brian. I don't need you or him.”Dominic stormed out.

“
You could have been a
little more diplomatic, dammit.”

“
Michelle, stop. Stop
putting yourself between Dad and Mama, between Dad and Dominic.
Live your own life. I learned the hard way.”Brian went to
her.

“
You mean be selfish. You've
withdrawn into you own little world of wife, two kids, and a dog,”
Michelle spouted without thinking.

“
That's not fair and you
know it. We can't have normal family gatherings with Mama sniping
at Dad, Dad sitting around not talking at all to keep from arguing.
I enjoy the peace and quiet of my own home. So sue me. I notice you
don't live at home anymore. And I know why.”

Michelle held her tongue for a moment,
and then spoke. “I'm sorry. Okay, so their fights get to me, too.
But a lot of it is Daddy's fault. Mama just wants to get his
attention. Though why she bothers is beyond me. He's so cold and
critical.”

“
Michelle, stay out of it.
There are things between them that have nothing to do with you,
things that only they can deal with.”Brian went back to his
desk.

“
What things?”

“
All I'm saying is, you
can't play marriage counselor.” Brian avoided returning her gaze.
“And you can't make Dominic into a hard working adult. He has to do
that himself.”

For as long as she could remember,
Michelle felt a need to be the glue that held them all together.
Maybe it was her craving for order. Or maybe her love for happy
endings.

But she would not stand by and do
nothing. She never had in any situation even as a child, and
dealing with family difficulties was no different.

“
Fine. I'll talk to Dad.”
Michelle took a deep breath.

“
Chelle, I want things to
work out as much as you do. But maybe Dad is right.”

“
I promised Dominic I'd try.
Bye, big brother. As usual, I can't stay mad at you any more than I
can at Dominic.” Michelle gave him a fierce hug.

“
You're too hard on Dad.”
Brian looked at her.

“
For the last seven years,
Daddy has been even more critical and withdrawn than he was before.
I think he could do a lot to make things better. ”Michelle picked
up her purse.

“
Michelle, nobody is
perfect. In any relationship, there are two sides to every
conflict.” Brian kissed her cheek lightly before opening the
door.

The trip to her parents’ home was
silent. Dominic sat brooding, his chin propped on his fist as he
stared out of the window. Michelle, already exhausted from a long
day at work, was in no mood for conversation either.

Something about her exchange with Brian
bothered her. Try as she might, she could not put her finger on it.
On the surface, he had said nothing in particular that she could
remember. She replayed their discussion in her head as though it
were dialogue from a play.

“
Thanks for trying. Brian
gets more like daddy every day.”Dominic continued to stare ahead
morosely.

“
No problem, cher.” Michelle
was still wrapped up in her own thoughts.

“
What am I going to do,
Chelle?”

“
I'll talk to Daddy,
Dominic.” Michelle tried not to sound irritated.

But truthfully, defending him was
practically a full-time job. The least he could do is make some
effort to make it easier. Still, Daddy had been tough on Dominic
since he was a little boy. Unfortunately, it had the opposite
effect he was after. Dominic did not like following schedules or
being on a time table. Efforts to change him were a source of
constant conflict. It got worse as Dominic got older. Now, here
they were. Adults and she was still fighting his battles. Brian's
words came back to her. Maybe she was hurting him. Lately, it
seemed she spent a great deal of time and emotional energy on
either Mama or him. Maybe it was time she spent some of that energy
on her own personal life.

Anthony. That is what she meant, wasn't
it? Until he walked into the newsroom and back into her life three
weeks ago, all she thought of was her career. After all this time,
a simple lunch was enough to set her dreaming like a love sick
teenager. Sure she had felt a strong infatuation for him, but that
was a long time ago. As he said himself, they had grown up since
then.

“
What did you say?”Michelle
snapped out of her reverie. Dominic's last words caused a kind of
nebulous recognition, somehow associated with the puzzle of her
older brother that had been nagging at her.

“
I said, Brian doesn't think
much of me either. Though he doesn't say it outright the way Dad
does. But you know Brian; most times it's what he doesn't say that
counts.”

That was it. It was what Brian hadn't
said that troubled her. Brian had tried to tell her something
without saying too much. Somehow she felt sure it was related to
her parents and their unhappiness with each other. The vague
disquiet caused by his words grew into a nameless dread that took
root in the pit of her stomach.

Chapter 4

Michelle was enthralled with the
saxophonist's masterful playing. The deep alto tones rolled out
from him, a palpable force moving the entire audience and holding
them all in the same magical place. The instrument spoke without
words as the soulful rendition of an old Roberta Flack song, The
First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, seemed to touch everyone in a
unique and powerful way. Michelle was acutely aware of Anthony
seated so close next to her. She shifted trying move a little
further from him. With each swell of the saxophone she felt a surge
of heat. For a moment she was lost in the music, thinking of the
real heat of his touch. The sweet taste of his mouth on hers. With
a heart wrenching last note, the performance ended to wild
applause. Michelle's eyes flew open wide, startled out of her
waking dream. She glanced sideways to find Anthony regarding her
steadily. He smiled shyly before turning back to the stage.
Michelle was mortified; sure the ardent images of her mind were
mirrored on her face. She made a fuss of gathering her cape and
purse to mask her flustered state. Anthony did not make her efforts
any easier. His hands rested on her shoulders momentarily after
helping to wrap the cape around her. Michelle moved away on shaky
knees.

“
That was really something
else, wasn't it?” Anthony walked beside her in the crowd as they
left the recital hall.

“
Every note that guy played
sent chills through me. And the woman playing piano was just as
fabulous,” Michelle said.

“
The trumpet solo was just
as beautiful, don't you think?”He guided her gently towards his
car.

“
Great, the whole quartet
was simple wonderful.”

“
It certainly was,
great.”Anthony unlocked the metallic gray Honda Accord with the
remote control.

“
Yeah, it was great.”Now
seated behind the wheel, Anthony turned to her.

“
Yes indeed.”Michelle smiled
at him, then looked away.

“
Say, why don't we go to
Coffee Call for cafe au lait and beignets?” Anthony's face held a
hopeful, anxious expression.

“
Sure.” Michelle quietly
took a deep breath, relieved that the awkwardness of where they
were to go next was resolved.

The cafe was brightly lit and crowded
even at ten o'clock that night. The clinking of ceramic cups as hot
coffee was being served layered the sound of lively conversations
filling the room. The aroma of coffee and the hot, delicious doughy
donuts hung in the air welcoming all who came in from the crisp
fall night. Threading their way through the tables, they finally
found an empty one.

“
Umm.” Michelle took a long
sip from her mug.

“
This is the first time I've
been here since I got back home. Man, I forgot how good these
things are.” Anthony shook powdered white sugar over the bowl of
beignets.

“
I stay away from this
place, too much temptation. And the camera shows every
pound.”Michelle patted her mid-section.”As it is, I could stand to
lose a few.”

“
I don't see it,” Anthony
said after giving her an appraising look.

Michelle felt a glow of pleasure.”Yeah,
well these hips are a bit too generous by industry standards. You
know the saying; you can never be too rich or too thin.” Michelle
grimaced.

“
Then the industry is
wrong.”

“
I tell you, it's only been
recently that the pressure to be a size four has eased up. You
would be shocked at the number of women who ended up being treated
for an eating disorder because of it.” Michelle stared at a
beignet.

“
Here.” Anthony pushed the
bowl towards her.”You don't have anything to prove.”

“
What the heck, I'll just
get rid of it later.”Michelle sank her teeth into one.

“
I hope you don't
mean--”

“
Huh? Oh no, not me. I don't
purge after eating. I meant I'll work it off at the gym. Don't
worry, I refuse to let those skinny New York fashion mavens turn me
into a basket case.”

“
You look fantastic and
don't let anybody tell you different.”Anthony waved hand forgetting
he held a beignet, showering her with powdered sugar.

“
Hey, watch it.” Michelle
gave a yelp. Laughing, she brushed at front of her dark red sweater
dress. “What am I, a bowl of cereal?”

“
Sorry. I'll pay to get it
cleaned.” Anthony reached out and began to rub the soft fabric.
Realizing what he was doing, he snatched back his hand. “Uh, sorry.
I mean I wasn't trying to-- I was trying to get the sugar off,” he
mumbled.

“
It's okay.”Michelle paused
in the middle of brushing crumbs from her lap.”Look at us. Fumbling
and stumbling with each other, walking on eggshells.”She threw down
her napkin.

“
I wasn't this nervous on my
first date when I was twelve.” Anthony grinned at her.

“
And after the recital, we
sounded like an echo. `Wasn't it great?' `Yes, great'. `It was
really great!'What was that all about?” Michelle chuckled, shaking
her head.

“
I'm just thankful I came up
with the idea to come here or we might still be sitting in my car
babbling `great' to each other,” Anthony quipped. They both laughed
hysterically.

“
That's one sound even
sweeter than the music they were playing.” Anthony's gazed at her
still smiling. “Know what I think? Neither one of us wants to say
anything hurtful, even it's unintentional. And you know what that
means.”