Afloat and Ashore (24 page)

"I know very well what an alibi means, Mr. Sweeney."

"The deuce you do!" exclaimed the protector of the king's revenue,
eyeing me a little distrustfully. "And pray how should one as young as
you, and coming from a new country like America, know that?"

"Oh!" said I, laughing, "America is just the country for
alibis
—everybody is everywhere, and nobody anywhere. The
whole nation is in motion, and there is every imaginable opportunity
for
alibis
."

I believe I owed the development of Sweeney's "ulterior views" to this
careless speech. He had no other idea of the word than its legal
signification; and it must have struck him as a little suspicious that
one of my apparent condition in life, and especially of my years,
should be thus early instructed in the meaning of this very useful
professional term. It was a minute before he spoke again, having been
all that time studying my countenance.

"And pray, Master Wallingford," he then inquired, "do you happen to
know what
nolle prosequi
means, too?"

"Certainly; it means to give up the chase. The French lugger under
Dungeness entered a
nolle prosequi
as respects my brig, when
she found her hands full of the West-Indiaman."

"So, so; I find I have been keeping company all this time with a
knowing one, and I such a simpleton as to fancy him green! Well, that
I should live to be done by a raw Jonathan!"

"Poh, poh, Mr. Sweeney, I can tell you a story of two of our naval
officers, that took place just before we sailed; and then you will
learn that all hands of us, on the other side of the Big Pond,
understand Latin. One of these officers had been engaged in a duel,
and he found it necessary to lie hid. A friend and shipmate, who was
in his secret, came one day in a great hurry to tell him that the
authorities of the State in which the parties fought had entered a
nolle prosequi"
against the offenders. He had a newspaper with
the whole thing in it, in print. "What's a
nolle prosequi
,
Jack?" asked Tom. "Why, it's Latin, to be sure, and it means some
infernal thing or other. We must contrive to find out, for it's half
the battle to know who and what you've got to face." "Well, you know
lots of lawyers, and dare show your face; so, just step out and ask
one." "I'll trust no lawyer; I might put the question to some chap who
has been fee'd. But we both studied a little Latin when boys, and
between us we'll undermine the meaning." Tom assented, and to work
they went. Jack had the most Latin; but, do all he could, he was not
able to find a "
nolle
" in any dictionary. After a great deal of
conjecture, the friends agreed it must be the root of "knowledge," and
that point was settled. As for "
prosequi
" it was not so
difficult, as "sequor" was a familiar word; and, after some
cogitation, Jack announced his discoveries. "If this thing were in
English, now," he said, "a fellow might understand it. In that case, I
should say that the sheriff's men were in "pursuit of knowledge;" that
is, hunting after
you
; but Latin, you remember, was always an
inverted sort of stuff, and that '
pro
' alters the whole
signification. The paper says they've '
entered
a
nolle
prosequi;
' and the 'entered' explains the whole. 'Entered a nolle'
means, have entered on the knowledge, got a scent; you see it is law
English; 'pro' means 'how,' and 'sequi,' 'to give chase.' The amount
of it all is, Tom, that they are on your heels, and I must go to work
and send you off, at once, two or three hundred miles into the
interior, where you may laugh at them and their 'nolle prosequis'
together."
[4]

Sweeney laughed heartily at this story, though he clearly did not take
the joke, which I presume he fancied lay concealed under an American
flash language; and he proposed by way of finishing the day, to carry
me to an entertainment where, he gave me to understand, American
officers were fond of sometimes passing a few minutes. I was led to a
Wapping assembly-room, on entering which I found myself in a party
composed of some forty or fifty cooks and stewards of American
vessels, all as black as their own pots with partners of the usual
colour and bloom of English girls I have as few prejudices of colour
as any American well can have; but I will confess this scene struck me
as being painfully out of keeping. In England, however, nothing seemed
to be thought of it; and I afterwards found that marriages between
English women, and men of all the colours of the rainbow, were very
common occurrences.

When he had given me this ball as the climax of his compliments,
Sweeney betrayed the real motive of all his attentions. After
drinking a pot of beer extra, well laced with gin, he offered his
services in smuggling anything ashore that the Amanda might happen to
contain, and which I, as the prize-master, might feel a desire to
appropriate to my own particular purposes. I met the proposal with a
little warmth, letting my tempter understand that I considered his
offer so near an insult, that it must terminate our acquaintance. The
man seemed astounded. In the first place, he evidently thought all
goods and chattels were made to be plundered, and then he was of
opinion that plundering was a very common "Yankee trick." Had I been
an Englishman, he might possibly have understood my conduct; but, with
him, it was so much a habit to fancy an American a rogue, that, as I
afterwards discovered, he was trying to persuade the leader of a
press-gang that I was the half-educated and illegitimate son of some
English merchant, who wished to pass himself off for an American. I
pretend not to account for the contradiction, though I have often met
with the same moral phenomena among his countrymen; but here was as
regular a rogue as ever cheated, who pretended to think roguery
indigenous to certain nations, among whom his own was not included.

At length I was cheered with the sight of the Crisis, as she came
drifting through the tiers, turning, and twisting, and glancing along,
just as the Amanda had done before her. The pilot carried her to
moorings quite near us; and Talcott, Neb and I were on board her,
before she was fairly secured. My reception was very favourable,
Captain Williams having seen the account of the "Yankee trick" in the
papers; and, understanding the thing just as it had happened, he
placed the most advantageous construction on all I had done. For
myself, I confess I never had any misgivings on the subject.

All hands of us were glad to be back in the Crisis again. Captain
Williams had remained at Falmouth longer than he expected, to make
some repairs that could not be thoroughly completed at sea, which
alone prevented him from getting into the river as soon as I did
myself. Now the ship was in, we no longer felt any apprehension of
being impressed, Sweeney's malignancy having set several of the gang
upon the scent after us. Whether the fellow actually thought I was an
English subject or not, is more than I ever knew; but I felt no
disposition myself to let the point be called in question, before my
Lord Chief Justice of a Rendezvous. The King's Bench was more
governed by safe principles, in its decisions, than the gentlemen who
presided in these marine courts of the British navy.

As I was the only officer in the ship who had ever seen anything of
London, my fortnight's experience made me a notable man in the
cabin. It was actually greater preferment for me than when I was
raised from third to be second-mate. Marble was all curiosity to see
the English capital, and he made me promise to be his pilot, as soon
as duty would allow time for a stroll, and to show him everything I
had seen myself. We soon got out the cargo, and then took in ballast
for our North-West voyage; the articles we intended to traffic with on
the coast, being too few and too light to fill the ship. This kept us
busy for a fortnight, after which we had to look about us to obtain
men to supply the places of those who had been killed, or sent away in
la Dame de Nantes
. Of course we preferred Americans; and this
so much the more, as Englishmen were liable to be pressed at any
moment. Fortunately, a party of men that had been taken out of an
American ship, a twelvemonth before, by an English cruiser, had
obtained their discharges; and they all came to London, for the double
purpose of getting some prize-money, and of obtaining passages home.
These lads were pleased with the Crisis and the voyage, and, instead
of returning to their own country, sailor-like, they took service to
go nearly round the world. These were first-rate men—Delaware-river
seamen—and proved a great accession to our force. We owed the
windfall to the reputation the ship had obtained by her affairs with
the letter-of-marque; an account of which, copied from the log-book
and a little embellished by some one on shore, he consignee had taken
care should appear in the journals. The history of the surprise, in
particular, read very well; and the English were in a remarkably good
humour, at that time, to receive an account of any discomfiture of a
Frenchman. At no period since the year 1775, had the American
character stood so high in England as it did just then; the two
nations, for a novelty, fighting on the same side. Not long after we
left London, the underwriters at Lloyd's actually voted a handsome
compliment to an American commander for capturing a French
frigate. Stranger things have happened than to have the day arrive
when English and American fleets may be acting in concert. No one can
tell what is in the womb of time; and I have lived long enough to know
that no man can foresee who will continue to be his friends, or a
nation what people may become its enemies.

The Crisis at length began to take in her bales and boxes for the
North-West Coast, and, as the articles were received slowly, or a few
packages at a time, it gave us leisure for play. Our captain was in
such good humour with us, on account of the success of the
outward-bound passage, that he proved very indulgent. This disposition
was probably increased by the circumstance that a ship arrived in a
very short passage from New York, which spoke our prize; all well,
with a smacking southerly breeze, a clear coast, and a run of only a
few hundred miles to make. This left the almost moral certainty that
la Dame de Nantes
had arrived safe, no Frenchman being likely
to trust herself on that distant coast, which was now alive with our
own cruisers, going to or returning from the West Indies.

I had a laughable time in showing Marble the sights of London. We
began with the wild beasts in the Tower, as in duty bound; but of
these our mate spoke very disparagingly. He had been too often in the
East "to be taken in by such animals;" and, to own the truth, the
cockneys were easily satisfied on the score of their
menagerie
.
We next went to the Monument; but this did not please him. He had
seen a shot-tower in America—there was but one in that day—that beat
it out and out as to height, and he thought in beauty, too. There was
no reasoning against this. St. Paul's rather confounded him. He
frankly admitted there was no such church at Kennebunk; though he did
not know but Trinity, New York, "might stand up alongside of it."
"Stand up along side of it!" I repeated, laughing. "Why, Mr. Marble,
Trinity, steeple and all, could stand up in it—
under
that
dome-and then leave more room in this building than all the other
churches in New York contain, put altogether."

It was a long time before Marble forgave this speech. He said it was
"unpatriotic;" a word which was less used in 1799 than it is used
to-day, certainly; but which, nevertheless,
was
used. It often
meant then, as now, a thick and thin pertinacity in believing in
provincial marvels; and, in this, Marble was one of the most patriotic
men with whom I ever met. I got him out of the church, and along Fleet
street, through Temple Bar, and into the Strand, however, in peace;
and then we emerged into the arena of fashion, aristocracy and the
court. After a time, we worked our way into Hyde Park, where we
brought up, to make our observations.

Marble was deeply averse to acknowledging all the admiration he really
felt at the turn-outs of London, as they were exhibited in the Park,
of a fine day, in their season. It is probable the world elsewhere
never saw anything approaching the beauty and magnificence that is
here daily seen, at certain times, so far as beauty and magnificence
are connected with equipages, including carriages, horses and
servants. Unable to find fault with the
tout ensemble
, our
mate made a violent attack on the liveries. He protested it was
indecent to put a "hired man"—the word
help
never being
applied to the male sex, I believe, by the most fastidious New England
purist—in a cocked hat; a decoration that ought to be exclusively
devoted to the uses of ministers of the gospel, governors of States,
and militia officers. I had some notions of the habits of the great
world, through books, and some little learned by observation and
listening; but Marble scouted at most of my explanations. He put his
own construction on everything he saw; and I have often thought,
since, could the publishers of travels have had the benefit of his
blunders, how many would have profited by them. Gentlemen were just
then beginning to drive their own coaches; and I remember, in a
particular instance, an ultra in the new mode had actually put his
coachman in the inside, while he occupied the dickey in person. Such a
gross violation of the proprieties was unusual, even in London; but
there sat Jehu, in all the dignity of cotton-lace, plush, and a cocked
hat. Marble took it into his head that this man was the king, and no
reasoning of mine could persuade him to the contrary. In vain I
pointed out to him a hundred similar dignitaries, in the proper
exercise of their vocation, on the hammer-cloths; he cared not a
straw—this was not showing him one
inside
; and a gentleman
inside of a carriage, who wore so fine a coat, and a cocked hat in the
bargain, could be nothing less than some dignitary of the empire; and
why not the king! Absurd as all this will seem, I have known mistakes,
connected with the workings of our own institutions, almost as great,
made by theorists from Europe.