Affairs & Atonements (17 page)

“We’ve been doing well so far.”

“You call the meager charge you make for each night ‘doing well’? There’s inflation to the economy every year. Your rate is already quite low as it is.”

“We love what we do. It’s not only about the money.”

“I hate to break it to you, Christy, but life doesn’t operate on love alone. You’ve got Margaret and JR to consider. This is your livelihood. If you don’t start treating it as such, you’re going to lose it.”

She scowled. “Going to New York means travel expenses and a ticket to the conference. I’m assuming it’s not cheap either.”

“They are investments- small expenses you make with the vision of getting a larger return in the near future.”

“Okay, I’ve heard enough,” Margaret declared. “Christy, you’re going. Put some money aside for the trip. Make it your priority. We can do without any extra linen for a while, because Ashton does have a point. It’s a new era. We can’t remain stuck in our little rut holes. We have to move along with the times. We have competition around the bend and we have to start waking up and face reality.”

Christy closed her book with a bang, throwing it on the coffee table. “Is there anything else, Mr Pryor?”

“I’m paying for the trip,” he replied.

“No, you’re not-”

“Oh, get off your high horse, Christy. If I left it to you, we’d miss the conference altogether. It’s in another two days. Do you think you’ll manage to arrange the funds by then?”

“I have money.”

“I know. And you have excuses too.” He rubbed his temples in frustration. Christy had a knack of making him work hard. It wasn’t ever easy with her.  “It’s in the evening. I’ll do my best to get us on a flight tomorrow; otherwise we’ll have to make do with one the next day.”

“I can make my way, surely.” Her temper flared. “I see no reason why you have to go with me.”

“The reservation at the seminar is under my name and I have contacts there who may be able to give you a hand in your promotions. Without me, you’ll be just another unknown making her debut in the tourism industry. And trust me, you don’t want that.”

*****

A knock rapped on her door. She didn’t need to guess who it was. She sat at her dresser, massaging moisturizer into her hands.

“Christy,” Margaret called out before opening her door. “Are you okay?”

“I have to be,” she said curtly.  “I don’t have a choice, do I?”

Margaret sighed, sitting tiredly on the edge of her bed. “Ashton means well, Christy. And we do need his help.”

Christy bent her head, picking at the hems of her camisole. “I know. It’s just still hard for me to accept it.”

“I’m sorry for putting you through this, Christy. But don’t you think it’s time you forgive the man? He’s realized his errors and he’s doing his best to atone for them. He’s stuck around for two weeks and he’s worked every day of it, fixing up the property. And now, he’s even bothered to arrange for that conference. He didn’t need to, but he did. That does say something, you know?”

Christy nipped at her lower lip as she sat quietly, sifting through her thoughts and Margaret’s advice.

Margaret rose up and patted Christy tenderly on her head. “I still love you, honey. You’re always gonna be the child that we never had. And I know you’re strong. Because it takes plenty courage for a man to say he’s sorry and even more for a woman to forgive him.

“Margaret-” she began.

“I’m not only asking that you do it for Ashton. I want you to do it for yourself as well. Heal your heart, darling. Make peace with your pain and take this chance to walk into your future without the burdens you’ve been carrying all these years.”

Christy sniveled. She wrapped her arms around Margaret’s homely waist, sobbing against her. She wasn’t courageous. She was far from anything brave. She had forgiven Ashton, she cried silently. Not because she was suddenly okay with what he had done, but because she wanted him in her life. He’d broken her and then he shattered her. But if she took yet another chance on him, she was afraid she’d never have the strength to put herself back together again.

He slid the key card into the lock.

“You can have this room, if you wish,” he said, wheeling their luggage into the hotel room. “I can have the one next door.”

“Thanks,” she muttered, throwing her bag tiredly into a chair. “It’s nice.”

He watched her amble through the room, checking it out. She had said relatively little through the entire trip. She hadn’t even bothered to argue over the traveling expenses anymore either, and he’d rather have that than the painful, agonizing silence she was punishing him with.

“I’ll be next door if you need anything,” he said.

She nodded quietly, proceeding to unzip her bag.

He stood at his spot, barely moving. He didn’t want her angry anymore. He wanted to hold her without the frustrations amassing between them.

“We still have some time before the seminar tonight.” He cleared his throat. “Do you want to do some shopping or take a walk?”

“No,” she answered. “You need money to shop. And I don’t have that luxury.”

Her answer cut him in the inside. His pulse in his temples tensed. She never failed to continually remind him that they weren’t together on this trip.

“I thought I could get something for JR and Margaret.” He tried again. “I was wondering if you could help me out in finding something they’d like.”

She put her palm to her brow, rubbing it. “I’d just like to get some rest, Ashton, if you don’t mind. Seminars aren’t exactly my thing. And the trip didn’t help at all. Can we meet in the evening instead, when we’re ready to leave for the seminar?”

He nodded and moved out quietly. He needed to give her space to figure things out as well. She was just as much confused and vexed about their relationship as he was.

He closed the door behind him. How long was he going to drag her about him? How much longer before he truly realized that one of them would give up on them? And he feared that if she gave up on him first, he would lose her forever.

*****

She was dressed in an evening knee length black cocktail dress. Her long hair was wrapped up into an elegant French roll. She stood beside him, her stature tall and confident as she wore a beautiful smile on her face while she conversed with the other attendees of the seminar.

He couldn’t help wrapping a proud, possessive arm around her lower back. Was she happy? What did she think of the seminar? Did she think it had been worth it? It mattered to him that she liked it.

“It’s been such a pleasure knowing you, Christy,” said the man across her. He smiled broadly at her, his manner clearly evident of Ashton’s arm around the woman. Naturally, Ashton’s presence had curbed any major flirtations with her. “Ashton, great meeting you too. If either of you are ever in Atlanta, please don’t forget to call me. We must stay in touch.”

“Of course, Gary.” She beamed. “I’m glad we met too. I’d love to visit your B&B sometime.”

“Most definitely. Do you have any kids? Atlanta’s a great place for family vacations too.”

“Oh… er…” Christy hesitated.

The man swallowed awkwardly, his eyes roaming between Ashton and Christy, obviously trying to internally resolve the status of their relationship.

“Oh, um… I’m sorry,” Gary replied with slight embarrassment. “I assumed you were married because of the same family name.”

“No need to be,” Ashton said quickly, giving his hand out to shake. “We’re most certainly married and we have one son, JR. He’s ten and I’m sure he will be hankering to travel to Atlanta once he hears of the tree-top adventure park you’ve created on your property. I’m afraid he’s going to be begging us to have one built on ours as well.”

The man laughed, easing that momentary tension. “Well, if you have the means and the land, then why not? It’s always a hit with the families. Just remember to credit me with the idea.” He winked cheekily at them.

*****
 

She moved his hand from her waist as she quickened her pace towards her door.

“You can drop the act now, Ashton,” she uttered, pulling her keycard hastily from her bag. “There’s no one here to watch us.”

“It wasn’t an act,” he said, pulling her back to him by the elbows.

“I don’t care. Just don’t touch me,” she said, trying to pull away from him. Instead, he held her tightly to himself.

“And why not? You didn’t object all night.”

“Wasn’t that the idea? Keeping an appearance as if all was well in Neverland?” She writhed in his arms, trying to shake him off her.

“I’ve had enough of your running away,” he said curtly. “Why don’t you stop?”

“Really Ashton, you surprise me. In spite of all your education and high-flying job, you really don’t get it, do you? I don’t want you.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I don’t.”

“You do. And I can prove it.”

His mouth came down hard on hers. She resisted, pushing her elbows between them, but he cupped her buttocks, tugging her against him, rubbing his hard arousal against her crotch.

It was all she needed as she let out a soft moan. She widened her mouth, letting him slip his tongue into her.

“Christy, the door.” He breathed hoarsely against her ear. “Or I’ll have to take you here.”

She fumbled with the keycard, finally slipping it into the lock after a couple of failed attempts.

They stumbled into the room together, his hands frantically working its way under her dress.

“Ashton,” she started, holding him back.

“Don’t tell me to stop,” he begged. “It’s been hard enough these last two days.” He stopped, trying to catch his breath. “I just want to be with you.”

“And I do too.” She kissed him lightly on his lips. “But I can’t continue on like this knowing you’re getting married to someone else. You don’t belong to me, Ashton.”

He rested his head against hers, exhausted from his internal struggle and frustrations.

“I met Naomi three years ago,” he said slowly. “My company had signed her on to do an advertisement.”

“Ashton, you don’t have to tell me this.”

“Yes, I do,” he said, letting her go and walking away to the bar to pour himself a drink. “I’ve never had a proper relationship. Not once since you left. I had been too busy looking for you; I never bothered to invest in one. And then one day, Naomi walked into my life. She was there for me each time I needed her. We grew close slowly… very slowly. We started sleeping together not because we loved each other, but more because we were two lonely people trying to keep each other company. One day, she suggested taking it a little further. A temporary engagement, she had suggested. Just a month’s trial- to see how we liked it.” He gulped down his drink of whiskey. “I went along with it. She had said if it didn’t work out, we could always end it without any hassle. It felt safe. It felt good knowing there was someone waiting for me at the end of my day. It was comfortable. A month turned into two and then into three, and soon we were a year engaged.” He sighed. “I thought Naomi had unfairly waited long enough and I wanted to honor her with a marriage. Four months ago, we finally decided we were going to take the plunge and marry by the end of this year.” He glanced up at her. “It wasn’t love, Christy. It was fear that no one would ever want me after hearing what I did to you. I was disgusted with myself. I was ashamed. So when Naomi agreed to marry me, I accepted readily because I thought that was the most a man like me could ever have.  But you were the one I’ve always loved. I didn’t realize it though until I met you again.” He reached out for her face, curling the little hairs framing it around his finger. “And now all I can think of is you.  And how much I want you. And how great it would be if we could be a real family with JR.”

She tip-toed and kissed him lightly on his lips. “Me too. I love you, Ashton Pryor.”

He wound his arms around the small of her back and possessed her mouth with fervor. His tongue delved and warred with hers, sending sensational tingles up her spine. His hands fiddled with the zipper of her dress, running it down and then lifting the garment off her. He cupped her breasts from under her bra, feeling her heat warm his hands. She groaned; eager to rid him off his clothes as well.

Naked now, every inch of her at the scrutiny of her husband, she withdrew from him and stumbled back shyly onto the bed.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she muttered, reddening with embarrassment.

“Why not? You are perfect,” he mumbled back, coming down slowly above her.

“I am not. I have ugly stretch marks from my pregnancy and this little roll of fat on my hips won’t go away…”

He glanced down at where she was pointing and kissed her on her waist. “Any other man might think that. But these, right here are the stripes you earned for giving birth to my child. Our child, Christy.” He ran his lips delicately over them and she moaned. “They tell a story of birth and I am proud of them. They are beautiful. And I care goddamned nothing what any man thinks of them, because first of all, they evidence the existence of
my
child. And second, there is no way I’m gonna let you bare yourself to another man.”

“Where’d you learn to talk like that?” She breathed harshly, her body trembling under his touch.

He smiled and worked his way quietly down to her sex. He parted her labia, stroking her slit. “Do you have any further doubts before I begin worshipping you?”

“Oh god, Ashton,” she groaned, spreading her legs further apart at a simple flick of his tongue on her clit.

He draped her legs over his shoulders as he began to finger and caress her womanhood.

She writhed and moaned, until she begged him to relieve her off his pleasured torture. He complied, only because he was as hard as a rock himself. 

He pressed the pad of his thumb against her clitoris as he slowly entered her. He sat on his knees, positioning himself carefully so he could watch himself thrust into her.

He slithered smoothly into her wetness and immediately she let out a small cry of ecstasy. He moved in and out of her, speeding up slowly and gradually until he couldn’t hold back anymore. His thrusts turned savage as he drove into her hard and fast, culminating in one long spasm sweeping through their unified bodies.

*****

She lay on the curve of his neck as he stroked her bare shoulders. Spent and tired, they lay quietly for a long time, enjoying the feel of their warmth and skin against each other.

“I’m going to tell Naomi when I get back to Philly,” he said slowly, breaking their long silence.

She raised her head with surprise. Why though, did she react like that? It was what she wanted after all. But to hear him utter those words aloud upset her slightly. Perhaps because she was a woman and she understood how it felt when a relationship died.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. Was there any more she could say to unburden the guilt she was feeling? “She sounds like a wonderful person.”

“She is,” he said, playing with her hair. “She doesn’t deserve this. But I think it would be more unfair if I stayed. I’d just make her, you and me all miserable. She also deserves to be loved. And I can’t give her that. Not when I know now that my heart has always belonged to you, Christy.”

She caressed the corners of his lips. They were soft but slightly parched. And all she wanted was to mush hers against his to wet them, to revive them.

“But how do I tell her, Christy?” he asked, his pain obvious in his eyes. “How does anyone tell someone they’ve spent several years with that she had wasted her precious life on him?”

“I don’t think there is ever an easy way. It’s hurt you can’t avoid.”

He sighed. “If only there was a way…”

“What was it about her you liked?” she asked curiously. She was diving into dangerous territories, but she just had to find out why he had been attracted to her. “She must be beautiful. After all, she is a model.”

He hugged her more tightly to himself. “Yes, partly because of that. But when you spend three years with a person, physical beauty isn’t what keeps you together. That funnily fades away and you begin dealing with your partner’s true, inner self. And Naomi wasn’t hard to live with. She’s bubbly, adventurous, and sociable. She’s perfect for the man who wants to enjoy a very pleasurable life.”

She grew quiet. “So why do you love me then?” She closed her eyes. She shouldn’t have asked him about Naomi. Now, she was comparing. And what if she didn’t like his answer? She had certainly dug herself into a hole.

“Do you remember when it was when we first met? I was sixteen years old and you were a year younger. I still remember the little strap lavender dress you wore with pockets in the front of your skirts. You looked terribly cute and I think I fell in love with you instantly.”

“You never showed it.”

“I didn’t and I had good reason not to. Linda didn’t like that you had joined the family and she was extremely upset with Marshall. I wanted to show her my loyalty and kept my feelings to myself. Although, I never stopped dreaming that things might change one day so I could take you out on a proper date. But then, when you went out on that date with that Brendan guy, it messed me up so bad. I saw you walk away with him with his hands over your shoulders as if you belonged to him, and it drove me mad.” He rolled her over on her back as he looked down onto her face. “Here I was, waiting for you to grow up, and then this Brendan Croydon comes along and sweeps you from right under me.”