Adorkable (24 page)

“Can I cut in?” Ash said.

Becks looked at him, at me, then turned around and walked back to his seat.

Another ballad started, and Ash and I assumed the position, his arms holding me closer than necessary. Leaning down, he spoke quietly so only I could hear, “What’s with him?”

“I don’t know,” I answered as he melded our two bodies further. There was no space between Ash and me now, and those sad eyes, the ones I loved, were locked on us, looking tired.

“Forget about it, Spitz,” Ash said, nuzzling my neck. “He’ll get over it.”

No, I thought. He looks miserable. Becks looked completely, utterly miserable. He needed his best friend. He needed me. If having a boyfriend was taking up too much of my time, there was only one thing to do.

“You want to break up?” Ash repeated.

I nodded. “I think it’s for the best.”

We were sitting outside, on one of the benches in front of the library. I’d forced him to meet me here extra early (6:30 a.m. on a Saturday) in retribution. Hey, if he could call a meeting at the crack of dawn so could I. Though, really I’d done it because I had to be here anyway for my kids. Reading Corner didn’t start for another hour or so, but I liked to be early whenever I could.

My cape fluttered at my ankles. There was a nice breeze today.

“You’re serious,” he said and then pointed at me. “And you’re gonna break up with me wearing that?”

“You have something against wizard-wear?” I asked.

Ash shook his head. “Spitz, this is so embarrassing. Couldn’t we go inside, where no one can see us? I can’t believe you’re out in public dressed like this.”

“We can’t go inside. They’re not officially open yet.” I watched his face closely. “Does it really bother you?”

“No,” he said. “What bothers me is the lightning bolt on your forehead. And what do you mean, you want to break up?”

I sighed. I’d known this wouldn’t go well.

“Ash, when we first started this thing, I honestly thought you’d get sick of me after one date.”

Ash scoffed, throwing his arm over the back of the bench, making a “Go on” gesture with his other hand.

“Then I thought, maybe you could help me get over Becks like you offered,” I continued. “I did end up liking you, just like you said. It’s been great hanging out with you this past week.”

“So, what’s the problem?” He sat up. “You like hanging out with me. I like hanging out with you. Even if you were using me to make Becks jealous, I wouldn’t care. His face when we danced was like—”

“That wasn’t jealousy,” I cut in. “It was misery.”

Ash shrugged. “Same thing.”

“No, it’s really not.” Reaching out, I laid my hand over the top of his. He’d treated me so well, and I really did like talking with him. If nothing else, I’d gained a friend. “I don’t want to make Becks unhappy. That was never what I wanted.”

“Well…”

“I know, I know, you don’t like Becks—” I shook my head, lifted my shoulders helplessly, “—but I do. Even if he doesn’t feel the same about me, I’m still his friend. I can’t stand to see him so sad.”

“Spitz, the guy makes you sad whenever he’s around another girl. What’s he done to save your feelings?”

I flushed. He had a point, but it didn’t change anything.

“You’re incredible,” Ash said, looking at my expression. “Becks is blind for not seeing what’s in front of him, but you, Spitz. I’ve never met someone like you before.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means you’re a freak of nature.” I made to pull away, but Ash wasn’t having it. He captured my fingers, his other hand joining the first. “After all he’s put your through, most girls would want to tear Becks’s throat out, but not you.”

I felt the need to set the record straight. “He didn’t mean to. Becks has no idea about my feelings, so it’s not really his fault.”

Ash pointed at me. “That’s it. That’s what I’m talking about.”

“What?”

“Did you hear yourself just then? You defended him. He’s the one who’s put your heart in a grinder, and here you are sticking up for him.” Ash’s eyebrows lowered; in a strange voice he said, “You really love the guy, don’t you?”

“I do,” I said. Odd how easy it was to say that to Ash. I’d never thought I could admit that to anyone, let alone The Whip, but there it was.

He looked away, released my hand slowly, passing his fingertips through his hair.

“Guess I can’t compete with that,” he said under his breath.

“Thanks for everything, Ash.” I smiled, meaning it. “Now that I know you—the
real
you—I can honestly say you’re one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.”

Ash laughed. “You’re just as bad as Becks, you know that?”

I frowned. Where did that come from?

“Spitz, I’m not a nice guy,” he said flatly. “I don’t want to be your friend.”

“Huh?”

He rolled his eyes as he stood. “You smart girls are always the last to figure these things out. Why would a guy like me ask you out if all I wanted was friendship? You may be cute, but you’re not too observant.”

“Huh?” I said again. I understood the words coming out of his mouth, but the meaning behind them was a mystery. It was like he was intentionally trying to confuse me.

Leaning down, trapping me between his arms, he placed a hand on the bench on either side my head.

I gulped as he studied my face. His resulting smile was pure bad boy, no nice guy in there whatsoever.

“I told you before, I like you, Spitz,” he said, and I drew in a breath. “I like you a lot.”

While I sat there in shock, he smoothly closed the space between us, his lips moving over mine in a kiss like a match striking tinder. Heat shot up between the two of us. It burned for a few seconds and didn’t immediately cool as he leaned back.

Hooker had been right. Ash was a great kisser. It was brash and unexpected, sort of like the man himself, but it went no deeper than that. As good as he was, as hot as the kiss had been—and it had been smokin’, believe me—I hadn’t felt anything like I did with Becks. When Becks kissed me, it’d been right, so completely perfect that I knew instantly. That was where I belonged.

“Ash, I like you, too, but…” I trailed off, not wanting to embarrass him. It wasn’t that I hadn’t liked kissing Ash. Any girl would’ve loved kissing him, but there was one problem: He wasn’t Becks. How was I supposed to let him down easily?

The Whip shrugged as if he could read my mind. “Just wanted to let you know you have options. Maybe it’s for the best, since neither of us will be in Chariot next year.”

“You won’t?” I asked, surprised. “Why?”

“Dad’s got his eye on a Senate seat,” he said sarcastically. “So guess that means I’m off to private school for senior year. Fun, fun.”

We both knew it wouldn’t be. For a senior with collegiate soccer aspirations, Chariot High was
the
place to be. It was a real shame his parents were taking him out before he could get scouted.

“I’m so sorry, Ash.” Reaching out, I placed a hand on his arm in sympathy. “That sucks.”

“It does.” He caught my hand, eyes playful, as he ran his thumb along the back of my knuckles. “I’ll miss you, Sally Spitz.”

I laughed. “Miss you, too, Stryker.”

“If things don’t work out with Becks, let me know.”

With one last grin and a gentle kiss to my temple, he walked off.

I stared after him for longer than I should have. Ash might as well have told me he was an alien from the planet Vulcan. It would’ve stunned me less if he had. A boy, not just any boy but Ash “The Whip” Styker, liked me, Sally Spitz, a first-class dork with a degree in geek. Not just liked, but
liked
. The news was about as believable as science fiction, but he’d been serious. And that kiss had definitely been real. My lips were still on fire.

Shaking my head, I went inside. Besides tossing me into a confusion spiral, and let’s face it, upping my confidence as a woman, the talk with Ash made me realize one indisputable fact: Boys were strange.

I got further confirmation of that a little later as I was in the middle of reading Harry Potter. Ten of the twelve kids registered had shown up today. We were at a really good part, the one where Hagrid finds Harry and the Dursleys holed up in a shack surrounded by the sea. The kids were loving it. I’d been doing all the voices, and not one of them could resist the pull of Jo Rowling’s writing.

Lowering my voice, I gave the kids a conspiratorial wink then said, affecting Hagrid’s deep Cockney accent, “‘Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh.’“

They giggled as I got shushed by my boss, Mrs. Carranza, librarian at large.

The young eyes around me were saucers, pitched forward as the announcement drew closer.

“‘Harry—yer a…’“

I stopped mid-sentence, catching sight of Becks, standing at the edge of our circle, looking at me with a smile in his eyes.

“A what? A
what
?” Gwen Glick said, tugging at my arm.

“Shut up, Gwen. Let her finish.” Vince Splotts pushed her hand away.

I looked at him sternly, trying to forget about Becks. “Now, Vince, you know we don’t talk that way during Corner.”

“I know, but—”

“Apologize, please,” I said.

“But Miss Sally, she was being annoying. I was just saying—”

“I heard what you said.” I crossed my arms and tilted my head toward Gwen whose lip was now quivering. “Tell Gwen you’re sorry, please.”

Vince rolled his eyes and mumbled, “Sorry.”

I looked at the girl in the faded
Star Trek
tee. “And what do you say Gwen?”

“Apology accepted,” Gwen muttered, turning a glare on Vince. “And I am
not
annoying.”

“Gwen.”

“Sorry, Miss Sally,” she said. “Now can we hear the rest? What does Hagrid tell Harry he is?”

“He’s a wizard,” Becks answered.

As Gwen saw him, she smiled and waved like a mad woman. He grinned back.

“That’s right,” I said, flipping the book closed, “and I think it’s picture time.”

The kids groaned, and Vince said in a pitiful voice, “But Miss Sally, we didn’t even get to the end of that chapter.”

“We can finish it next week.” Usually I tried to read them two chapters per session, but Becks was here now, looking like he had something to say. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it, but my concentration was blown. “You guys just go up to front desk, and ask Miss Carranza for some paper and crayons. I’ll be right over.”

The kids got up, grumbling as they made their way over to the reference desk, and Vince shrugged, saying, “I’ll just watch the movie anyway.”

He hurried off, and only Gwen stayed behind.

Becks stepped forward. “Hey there Sal, Miss Gwen. How’s everything going today?”

“Hiyah, Becks,” Gwen said, bouncing on her toes. “Everything’s good. Miss Sally did a great job reading, and I got all As on my report card. Except for gym,” she muttered, “which isn’t really a class anyway.”

“Well, excuse me,” Becks said, “but gym was my best subject in elementary school.”

“Really?” Gwen eyed him suspiciously.

“Sure was.”

“Oh, well, I didn’t really try all that hard. Maybe I’ll do better next time.”

“I’m sure you will.” He gave her one of his devastating smiles, and the ten-year-old looked like she was head over heels. Becks simply had that effect on women.

I stepped in, trying to save her from herself. “That’s great, Gwen. You going to draw me another pretty picture today or what?”

“But I’m talking to Becks,” she protested.

“Go on,” Becks said. “I’ve got something I need to say to Miss Sally. We’ll talk some more another time.”

“Alright.” Gwen sulked away, throwing glances at us over her shoulder.

“I really do like that little redhead,” Becks said. “She reminds me of you, Sal.”

I nodded. “We have a lot of things in common.” Like the love of Trek and, oh yeah, the boy standing in front of me. “What’s up?”

“Not here,” he said. “Don’t want anyone to listen in. It’s kind of personal.”

I tried to push down my fear as we weaved in and out of the rows.

Once we couldn’t hear the kids’ whispers anymore I stopped, turned back to him. He looked like he was nervous, thinking hard. The first was a new one on me. Becks hardly ever got nervous, and when he did, it usually meant something bad was coming.

“What is it?” I asked before I lost what little courage I had. No one ever really used this part of the library. We were completely alone. I was trying to decide whether or not that was a good thing.

“I want you to break up with Ash,” he said.

Whatever I’d been expecting, it wasn’t this.

“What?” I asked.

“I want you to break up with him, Sal.” Becks looked uncomfortable, but he didn’t flinch.

“Why?”

Becks’s eyes shifted restlessly, looking at the books around us as if they might hold the answer. “It just doesn’t feel right,” he said finally. “You and Stryker are so different, Sal. He’s not the one for you.”

Mentally, I agreed but decided to listen and see where this was going.

“I mean, he’s such a jerk,” he went on. “And you’re…”

“I’m what?”

“You’re…you.” I scowled, and he tried to backtrack. “No, no, I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s a good thing, Sal. A very good thing.”

“How good, Becks?”

He frowned at me like I was the one not making sense. “The thing is, the two of you together…it’s just wrong. Don’t you feel that? I can’t concentrate in school. I’m killing ‘em on the field, but I can’t get too excited about it because then I remember you’re with him. You’re never around anymore. I miss you so much; it’s driving me insane and…”

“And?” I held my breath. One impossible thing had already happened today; was it too much to hope for another? Did Becks feel the same way I did? It sure sounded like it, but I was afraid to hope.

“Here’s the truth, Sal.” Becks held my gaze as I waited on tenterhooks. “Ash is no good for you. I know you haven’t been with him long, but I think there’s an easy way out. You could tell him you realized you’ve still got feelings for me. It’d smooth things over, and it’s a believable lie. Then until graduation in a couple weeks, I’d go back to playing your boyfriend. Faking it should be easier this time around. We’ve already done it once.”