Addictive Lunacy (4 page)

My cock punched at my jeans, almost making me curl into myself. Her admission was exactly what my body had been waiting for. Like an unmerciful tidal wave, the full extent of my lust for her unleashed itself.

I almost couldn’t hear anything beyond the roar of my heart. It pounded in my head. In my throat. The artery that rose up my neck and crossed my jaw twitched painfully with each heartbeat.

The throbbing in my dick beat all of that out, forcing me to consider when was the last time I’d actually had an orgasm. I hadn’t had sex for weeks. Fucking weeks. I’d been engaged and hadn’t slept with my fiancé for nearly a month.

What the fuck?

I didn’t have time to masturbate, hadn’t thought of doing so since I was younger. My need for sex had always been beyond healthy yet, somehow, I’d lived the last month of my life not realizing that I wasn’t getting anything.

Anything.

Had I been living in some sort of daze? What the hell was wrong with me?

Obviously, it’s not like I was suffering from some early case of E.D. Liv was the living proof of that. All it would take was one touch from her and I’d probably explode. I was sure of it.

Swallowing was becoming a nervous reflex thanks to her. I finally nodded at her, unable to find my voice.

Liv’s eyes fell to the table. “
And y
—
you’re not attract...I mean, interested? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

I straightened at that, sensing something completely different in her tone.

No longer so self-assured, Liv looked embarrassed. Her position hadn’t changed much but I could somehow read the insecurity in her. Could read that she wanted to curl into herself and possibly away from me.

“You’re very, and I do mean
very
, beautiful Liv. I’m sure I’m not the first man to tell you that.” I was aware that my words were dangerous. But there’s no way I couldn’t be honest with her about this. I did find her beautiful and although it might have been in my best interest to let her believe I didn’t, I couldn’t go through with it.

Liv’s eyes came back up and stared right into my own. Jaw twitching, I stared back, not knowing where to go from here and knowing that if I did what I wanted to do, it would be a problem.

It would be beyond
unwise.

“So you’re just nervous, that’s it?” Those eyes of hers were glittering in the dim lights. There was a small votive candle on the table and its flickering flame bounced inside her eyes, drawing me
further
in.

“Yes. You...I’ve never been around a woman like you and admittedly, flirting isn’t my strong suit.”

I’d had one girlfriend in college and she’d asked me out. Not that I hadn’t been attracted to her, I had. As for lovers, they’d also come after me but there had never been a lengthy seduction. I’d always known outright whether I’d wanted them or not and had always been quick to decide.

All in my professional manner, as Luke had once complained. He’d claimed that I approached sex much like a business negotiation. Compatible, yes or no? And no wasting of time, of course.

Liv smiled, taking her hat off her head. “That’s adorable. But lighten up, Calum. I’m not gonna bite.” She literally shoved the hat on my head, pulling the rim down over my eyes and giggling. “At the sake of sounding cliché, I must say, unless you want me to.”

I couldn’t see anything outside of the hat but her giggling and playfulness made me smile. A small gasp from her had me freezing, eyes still covered by the hat.

“Calum?”

“Yes?” I grabbed onto the hat and re-adjusted it so that it wasn’t covering my eyes. When I could see again, I saw that Liv was kneeling on the booth.

Right next to me.

Leaning over me, in fact.

“I’m sorry, Calum.” She cupped my face in her small hands. The feel of her skin almost made me hiss, my body tensing and my eyes shooting wide. “But I really, really have to kiss you. I’m sorry.”

And, yes, she did. God help me, she leaned in and gave me those lips.

4

H
ow long had I fantasized about those lips? An hour? Maybe two? It didn’t matter. To my starved body, it felt like a lifetime.

Soft, pillow-like flesh covered my own and I lost it. An uncharacteristic sound vibrated out of my ribcage. I heard the table complain when I moved too sharply and accidentally kicked it.

Liv gasped, her plump lips still pressed to my own and falling open.

Need. Want...Take. Take it all.

I was lost. My hand snapped around the back of her head, the size dwarfing it. I held her still, slanting my mouth against her and rubbing our lips together.

She whimpered.

And...I finally recognized the sound leaving me. As my lips trembled against her mouth and she started shaking against me, I realized that I was fucking
growling.

             
The taste of her sat heavy on my tongue, wrenching more hunger out of me. I wrapped one hand around the back of her head. My other hand curved around her lower back.

She fit right into my hands. Fantasies were unleashed in flashes of pain, each image battering more need into my groin.

             
Liv shifted, tilting her head and letting me suck on her bottom lip. The need to bite down into its plumpness was borderline cruel.

She let out a little exhale that slid into my mouth. I nibbled on her bottom lip as softly as I could while feeling my teeth vibrating with a groan.

             
Liv moved again. I felt the slightest flick of her tongue. I slanted my mouth over hers, wet lips sliding across each other. Thoughts abandoned me, leaving me at the mercy of my senses.

             
And all of them were honing in on her.

             
Our saliva mixed and aggravated my lust. Her tongue began dancing shamelessly with my own. God forgive me, I was lost. Her tongue had taken over my own and was now commanding it.

             
Pulling her closer and surrendering my body over to the feeling, I held her as close as I could considering that we were in a booth.

My dick was sticky, the head rubbing against the boxers. At any other moment of my life, this would have shocked me. But right then, all it did was heighten my need.

             
Liv pulled back, retaliating for what I did earlier and giving me a light bite that dragged across my bottom lip. It took all of my strength to stop myself from thrusting up into the air.

When she pulled back to lean her cheek against mine, I groaned and turned my head to press my lips into her skin.

“Oh, God. Calum, that’s intense,” she breathed, rubbing her cheek across my mouth.

             
Saying that we were in perfect agreement would have been a tragic understatement. “Give me more.” My voice grated with my demand.

Liv whimpered under her breath, turning her head and kissing me again.

             
It wasn’t lost on me that I was still wearing her hat, nor was it lost on Liv. She whimpered between kisses. “You look really sexy wearing that.”

I was tempted to tell her I’d keep the thing on all night if it meant that she wouldn’t stop what she was doing. She flicked the tip of her tongue, teasing the tip of mine and making my toes curl in my shoes.

             
Everything was too tense.  It registered in the back of my mind that we had become the couple making out in the dark corner of the bar.

I’d never done something like this, yet I basked in the knowledge that every idiot that had been drooling over her could just pass by and see.

“Fuck. I’m dying to—” but she didn’t finish, just slid her little tongue right back into my mouth. Hands rough around her hips, I held her still, letting our mouths all but fuck each other.

             
Who am I kidding? This was mouth-sex, plain and simple. My body was teasing me with little glimpses of what she’d be like in bed. If she was as good with her body as she was with that tongue...

             
Liv pulled back suddenly, her breath panting across mine. “I’m sorry. I got out of hand.
This
is getting out of hand.”

             
I was breathing just as hard as she was. “Agreed.”

             
We leaned in at the same time, lips touching again.

Liv gasped, pulling back and moving her hair away from her face.  “Sorry!”

             
“Don’t be. I believe I’m also to blame.”
Tell her. Tell her now. Tell her why this is a
bad
idea.
But she was turning me selfish. I liked her lips too much to give them up.
It’s just a kiss. Nothing more. Won’t take it farther than that.

             
Even as I thought it, I knew it was close to being a lie.
             

             
“Maybe we should get another drink. Pause.”

I shook my head, eyes heavy lidded and locked with her mouth. “Bad idea. I’m already pretty close to getting drunk. Any more drinks, and I definitely won’t be able to stop this.  Your lips feel too good.”

I cupped her chin, thumbing her lower lip and wondering how much of that I had actually said out loud.

             
Liv exhaled, eyes blinking rapidly. “Okay, Mister. You just killed whatever shot you had at getting out of this.”

             
Huh?

             
But I didn’t have to wonder long. Liv stood up, confusing me. In my hazy brain, a part of me feared that I’d pushed her too far or did something to offend her.

Was she leaving? Fuck. I wasn’t ready for her to leave.

             
Once she was up, she turned and grabbed my hand, giving it a tug. More confused now than ever, I let her lead me until I was up and following her along the back of the bar.

             
I forced myself to look away from
our hands
, feeling another wave of alcohol hit my brain. I’d unquestionably drunk too much, too fast. I wasn’t anywhere near incapacitated enough that I would be unable to walk but it was getting harder to convince myself why I shouldn’t give into what my body wanted.

             
Liv led me into a small alcove that faced a door with an exit sign above it. It hit me that she was leading me out of the bar. Curiosity, desire, and equal parts dread mixed in my system.

I wanted nothing more than to follow her wherever she planned on taking me. My skin flared with the idea; I still knew I wasn’t going to be able to go through with this. I wasn’t the type of man to do rash things like this.

Was I?

             
Liv stopped right next to the exit, turning to me and pulling my head down. I opened my mouth, determined to be honest with her regardless of what happened after. I got a mouthful of her sweet taste instead.

             
Dear God, what was it? It tasted familiar. I couldn’t place it but it had me opening my mouth as wide as it could so I could suck in her tongue and play with it. “Liv,” I managed to half-heartedly protest, trying to move my head back.

             
My body rejected the idea, especially since it had such a sexy little thing standing on her tip toes just so she could reach my mouth. Without thinking about it, I let my hands slide around her waist and lifted her up a bit higher.

             
Liv ended up against the wall. I was barely holding back the urge to press my body fully into hers. She was eager, her hands wrapping around my shoulders. All it took was one pull from her and things got really out of control.

             
Anyone could walk by
and see me humping her into the wall, yet I couldn’t stop. Liv whimpered into my mouth, her legs shifting and pressing against denim covered and aching flesh.

             
With a hiss of air, I pulled my mouth back, needing to regain control.

             
“Calum.”

             
There went my endeavor, destroyed with a mere whisper of my name.

             
My mouth came back down on her skin, my veins throbbing with unprocessed sensations, all of them too potent for my self-control to contain.

She tasted incredible. I was finally able to pinpoint what I tasted. There was a hint of vanilla on her skin. There had to be. No way had the alcohol fucked with my head to that extent. I licked. Sucked. Ground against her like I've never ground against anyone before.

             
Dizzy, I pulled my mouth away from her skin, mumbling. At first, I had no idea what I was saying. All I knew was that I was being led by need and guilt in equal parts.

It took me awhile to notice the change in her. When I did, I pulled back. Because I was piss drunk, yes, but I wasn't that far gone. “What's wrong?” I tried not to be blinded by how gorgeous she was. I  hadn’t wanted anyone this badly in years.
Years.