Adapt (2 page)

The crisp sensation of each step transferred through his thick soles to his feet as his boots left tracks behind him. There was something therapeutic for Daniel when walking in the heart of the city. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was. It may have been the hustle and bustle of the place, or the wide variety of architecture spanning centuries, which was something that fascinated him, the art of a building, each expressing its own character and story through brick, stone and timber. The snow fell lightly, each flake reflecting the street lights on its descent.
Whatever it is, this walk is comforting and, dare I say, relaxing, at odds with the busybodies in a hurry.
He couldn’t hear the cacophony of traffic noise thanks to Beethoven’s seventh symphony passing through his earphones. The iconic red London buses and black cabs swanned around silently.
That good feeling could be the couple of pints of ale in my system.
He walked opposite the court he had spent his morning in, a towering grey house of justice. The lights were still on and movement inside looked as busy as in the day.

Daniel reached Fleet Street and picked up the pace.
I can still just make out the illuminated tip of Saint Paul’s through the snow,
he thought as he spied into the distance beyond the veil of white. He pulled out the band that had become a nuisance, releasing his long hair.
Maybe I should stop in at the local barber’s
. He could visualise the 1930s film of the demon barber.
And walk right into a trap,
he joked to himself.

As he arrived at the station a woman seemed to recognise him.

“Life’s not that bad,” she said with a gentle smile.
What am I supposed to say to that? Who was that? I would recognise her smile if I had met her previously. Maybe she was at the court case. Oh well.
Daniel continued down the stairs to the tube platform. The grim tube stations of the city had become familiar to him over the preceding two years. The feeling of déjà vu lost out to anticipation and a childish excitement.
I had better text to say I’m running ten minutes late. What on earth is that?
he thought whilst staring at his mobile phone.
This is the second time that this has happened
. He gazed at the screen in confusion.
It’s too long for a phone number. It’s just a code of, what, forty digits or so. What the hell, it’s gone off on its own, the exact same thing happened last time. I really need to get this phone looked at.

The train pulled in and he boarded the half full carriage. The scent of stale beer emanated as he strode through the puddle of spilt alcohol, the can that it once belonged in still rocking back and forth. He sat opposite what appeared to be an angry looking yet pretty young woman arguing down her phone in a raised voice. Daniel turned up the volume to his MP3 player until it was on full.
The theme from The Mission, that’s enough to make any tube ride more bearable. I’ll just sit back, close my eyes and escape for a moment.

Daniel arrived at his destination ten minutes late as he had predicted. The snowflakes were now falling more heavily; he had to squint to look up at the white, brick, five storey building. The ice particles were glowing red as they passed the top floor window. He entered the building. As he walked past the entrance to the ground floor flat a pungent odour engulfed him.
That’s potent
, he thought. Not only could his nose detect the tainted air, his taste buds were excited on the tip of his tongue. Daniel’s senses were in symphony with his memory and he was immediately brought back to his teenage years; it was an aroma with symbolism. It conjured nostalgia of hanging out with old friends, passing around a joint and sharing intoxicated laughs.

Daniel took on the five flights of stairs. On his approach he was overwhelmed with emotion.
I feel so nervous, more so than ever before. This feels different. Where’s the naughty excitement I usually have? It’s been replaced by a blend of feelings.
His heartbeat was racing; at least that was normal.
I’ve been thinking about her too much, every day for the past few weeks she has been at the forefront of my mind. Keep your emotions in check for the next few hours.

Daniel’s chest expanded as his lungs filled with oxygen. He rang the bell. A smile lifted his cheeks whist he leaned against the door frame, his ear to the door.
She’s got more locks than Fort Knox
.

“Hello, Daniel.”

The nerves he had felt were replaced by a confidence that eluded him so often. He was struck by the beauty before him,
as he was every time her welcoming smile appeared from behind the door.

“Susana.”

“Come in, honey.”

“How are you?” he asked as he entered.

“I’m fine, thank you. You’re late.”

“Yeah, sorry I…” he said before being interrupted.

“Was you in no hurry to see me?”

“I couldn’t concentrate for most of the day thinking about you,” he said. Susana closed the door and turned to face him.

“That’s okay then. I will let you off. This time.”

“You look lovely in that dress,” he said, admiring her figure, which the black knee length number was hugging so tightly. Daniel leaned forward to peck her on the cheek. With her index finger on his chin she guided his lips to her own.
Soft as I remembered
. Susana’s kiss excited the sensory receptors on his lips, which were firing up the reward section of his brain, instructing him to seek more of her. He eased his fingers through her long, silky blonde hair, down her back, and gently clasped her wrist. He guided her arm above her head. Her hand was relaxed, pinned to the wall. As they continued to kiss, he softly clasped her other wrist, his thumb sensing the rhythm of her pulse.

“So, you think you can take control so soon,” she said, freeing her hand. She pushed him onto the opposing wall of the cramped hallway. Pinning him there she glared at him in her playful way, her hazel eyes in sharp focus, reflecting the red light emanating out of her bedroom. She had manipulated his six foot, fifteen stone frame to her advantage.

“I will dominate you, Daniel. Do you think I’m too small to handle you?”

At five foot three she is bloody strong. The two hours she spends in the gym every day are paying dividends. I know full well the power in her legs
. Still pinning him she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“Take a hot shower, your cheeks are freezing. I’ll be waiting for you.” Her heels echoed as she walked along the oak floor toward the bedroom. “Waiting to dominate you,” she teased with a giggle, looking over her shoulder.

Warm droplets massaged his face. He thought of the things he
knew of Susana. Her home town in Croatia was beautiful from what he had seen. A photo she had on her dresser of herself on a beach near her home had become a vivid fantasy of his since he saw it. He would picture himself there, with her. The imaginary atmosphere that materialised in his mind was naïve. A Mediterranean existence consisting in outdoor meals, gazing at the sea in wonderment from a clay balcony and nothing to do besides have passionate sex.
You’re thinking too much
, he realised,
get back to reality.

He turned off the shower, wrapped a flowery towel around his waist and made his way down the draughty hall. As he closed the bedroom door behind him a warmth enveloped him. He looked down to see a small fan heater radiating onto his calf.

“Turn it off if you like,” she said. He looked over at the double bed, in which Susana was lying in the pose of a classical statue.
A goddess.

“Very sexy,” he said, eyeing over her red corset, black stockings and high heels. “I’ve not seen you in that before.”

“It’s new. I got it just for you, honey,” she said. “I changed my mind on the dominatrix outfit,” she laughed.

“You couldn’t go through with it,” said Daniel with a smile.

“Right, next week I will make you my bitch,” she joked.

She’s a woman of contrasts,
he thought.
Feminine yet strong, attentive yet powerful, softly spoken yet assertive, understanding yet sarcastic.
He reflected over his past visits
. I’m still processing the complexities of this woman yet I know little of her life, her past, something I’m unlikely to find out.

The room was much the same as on his last visit. Furnished like any young woman’s room, she had a white dresser and a large mirror above reflecting a painting of a Persian man and woman embracing one another that decorated the opposing wall. A double bed draped with black silk linen. The lamp was fitted with a red bulb, providing a sensual mood. He placed her present on the dresser.
Cliché
, he thought.
I watch too many movies, my subconscious is hard wired to choose the cliché option in almost every situation.

“Do you want to count it?” asked Daniel.

“No, I trust you.”

He walked over to her bed. Susana grabbed his arm and pulled him toward her. His skin responded to her touch by commanding each hair on his arm to stand to attention.

“Your pheromones are penetrating my body,” he said with an exaggerated seriousness in his tone, hoping it may tickle her.

Laughing, Susana managed to string two words together. “You’re crazy.” She cupped the crook of his neck in her left hand and pulled him toward her. She placed a finger of her other hand across his lips. “Now shush.”

The time passed quickly for Daniel whilst the pair engaged. Susana’s natural understanding of intimacy, and her ability to tap into his consciousness without a single word provided him with the illusion of connection. She would lock up his body with her own in a way that made him feel safe yet paradoxically vulnerable.
That time went too quick
, he thought as the professional couple lay together staring at the ceiling.

“Thank you,” he said.

Susana raised her head off of the pillow and looked at him in a befuddled haze, bemused as if she had never heard the simple words spoken. Daniel could see her in his periphery and glanced over. She shared with him a gentle smile and tentatively squeezed his hand.

“You’re welcome.” They continued to stare at the ceiling until Susana broke the silence. “So.”

“So,” Daniel imitated.

“Why do you see working girls? You’re a young, strong man. You should have a girlfriend.”

“Why do I see working girls? Hmm. Why did you become one?”

“I asked you first. Answer my questions and I might answer yours.”

“I split up with my girlfriend three years ago,” said Daniel. “I spent the following year single.”

“You were having one night stands,” she implied.

I should probably lie and say yes.
“No, I was celibate.”

“Celibate?” she queried.

“Yes, living like a Buddhist monk but without the relativism. Lacking the spiritual enlightenment that equips a monk with the super power to quash desire.”

“So being a Buddhist monk is not for you, then?”

“No, I can’t keep my foot above my head long enough anyway,” he replied.

She squinted but humoured him with a smile all the same.

“And then I discovered this fantasy world about two years ago,” he said.

She hit his arm. “Two years and you have only been seeing me a few months.”

“I didn’t know about you before that. Since our first encounter I have only been coming to you.”

“Good,” she said.

“I had no idea there was someone so wonderful in this secretive world,” he said whilst giving her an implicative look.

“We try our best.”

“Your best equates to mind blowing,” he said.

She rolled on top of him, her forearm using his chest for support. Her hair glided across his face leaving behind the fruity smell of her conditioner. “I blow your mind do I, honey?”

Her tongue was in his mouth before he could answer.
Yes
, he thought.
If only you knew
. Susana pulled away from the kiss. Still using her arm pressed against his pectoral, she would gently tug his chest hair with the tips of her fingers. Her blonde hair eloquently draped down each side of her face as she gazed at her admirer beneath. To see her eyes more clearly Daniel eased her smooth hair behind her ear. His hand glided over her lobe, barely touching her skin. The back of his fingers caressed her cheek. She tilted her head into his touch and playfully bit his middle finger. She smiled with his finger still clasped by her teeth. She bit harder, and harder still. Daniel felt the bite, sharp and strong but endured and enjoyed every second. Susana released her captive, her teeth’s impression remaining as he moved his hand down to her waist. She imitated his gesture, showing him how it felt to have his face caressed by the woman he yearned for. His eyes closed, his mind too elated to process the bliss of the moment.

Susana flopped onto her back with a sigh. He noticed she was smiling with her pearl white teeth clamping her bottom lip.
Her smile alone is worth paying for
, he thought as his eyes focused on her full lips, the sweet taste of her red lipstick still in his mouth.

“I did stop for a few months,” he said.

“And what enticed you back?”

“The day I saw your profile.”

“So sweet,” she said.

“I suppose it is part of the human condition. We all crave affection and intimacy, and we are driven to seek it in unorthodox ways if it can’t be met in our daily lives.”

She didn’t reply, but stared at him. He got the sense that his choice of words had resonated with her. He looked deeper into her eyes beyond the shield of mascara she wore. He could see that for all her playful confidence, her armoured persona and even her choice of occupation, she too wanted the same fundamental connection. She eventually responded.

“So it’s the affection and not the rampant sex, then,” she said. The pair laughed for a moment. “You’re funny, you know that? I look into your blue eyes and you always come out with something funny in your posh voice.”

“I don’t have a posh voice,” he quickly responded.

“You pronounce your words clearly then.”

“I can’t change my voice, I’m afraid,” he said.

“You can’t, but I can change it for you,” she said in a knowing tone.

Daniels right eyebrow raised. “Hmm. How?”

Her arm moved with the speed of a viper; her small soft hand grabbed his testicles. “Stop. Stop. Stop! Let go. Let go. Let go,” was his response. Susana released her iron fist, to Daniel’s relief.

“See,” she said, “before you have a deep manly voice and now you have a girl’s voice.”

“Don’t do that again.” He laughed it off and ignored the fact it was actually painful.

“You still didn’t answer my question. Why no girlfriend?”

“Too quiet. Too shy. None of them are single.”

“I’m single,” she alerted him.

Is that a cue,
he wondered.
Should I ask her on a date? What have I got to lose? Just ask her. She might quit the job and actually want you
. He glanced at the clock, he was always particular about leaving on time. Rarely did he ever outstay his welcome.

“Bloody hell, I’m fifteen minutes over,” he said. He got to his feet and began to get dressed.

“That’s okay,” she assured him.

“Yeah, I’ve got work tomorrow. I had today off sick,” he admitted.

“Naughty you. I suppose you have to earn a living.”

“Yeah, this is an expensive hobby. If I don’t go to work I can’t come and have fun with you,” he said. He studied her body. The red hue from the lamp bouncing off of her moisturised skin. Whilst he was buttoning his shirt Susana reached for a gown.

“Thank you for a lovely evening, Susana.”

“I enjoyed it,” she said. “Come and see me soon, honey.”

“I will. You know you’re going to be wrestling with my mind until then.”

“I’m sure I will win,” she said.

They embraced at the front door. His senses processing her smell, her taste, the feel of her skin for one last time, before heading out. She tugged his pony tail lightly as he left and said a few words in her native tongue. Daniel turned around to see her smiling in the doorway.

“Bye, honey,” she said.

He barely noticed the cold wrap around him as he left the building. Every other time he had made this trek he would do it on cloud nine, a spring in his step and a gleeful smile. Not this time.
You just had the best few hours of your life. That was every man’s dream you were with.
He wanted to turn back.
It was a punt, remember that, it has no place for emotion. Why didn’t you ask her out? There’s probably lots of solid relationships in the world where service provider and client come together. She didn’t kick you out, you rushed out. I will do it next time, who knows what the future holds.